Chapter Six

 

 

 

Once again, she managed to make it through the day without losing her shit. She was actually kind of proud of herself for that.

She felt on edge, though, her eyes jerking to the side every time someone laughed a little too loudly. No one commented on the bruises and bite marks, mostly because she didn’t give the cast a chance—in and out at breakfast, avoiding all gazes—and because the customers didn’t give a damn.

She didn’t blame them for that. As long as she didn’t wait too long between the music stopping and starting, she was forgettable. She might as well be another mechanical part of the carousel. That relieved her. Any notice would complicate things far more than they already were, and they couldn’t save her.

She just had to make it a year. Making it a year didn’t mean she had to distinguish herself or spend any time with the rest of the people working in Arcanium—especially the people who wanted to be here. The people who were here on purpose might have been tricked into it like Caroline, but why the hell would any of them still want to be here after finding out what it was?

She supposed a person could get used to just about anything.

Well, screw that. She wasn’t going to be that kind of girl. She wasn’t going to get used to it. She was just going to survive it, take her money, then when it was over, get the fuck out. She’d never go to another circus, carnival or midway again. She’d curse the sound of arcade games. And never ride another carousel.

 

* * * *

 

Slow, cold dread roiled in the pit of her stomach as she fell asleep. Tomorrow, they would be leaving her hometown and going God knew where. She’d officially be out of reach.

Caroline remembered as she drifted in the semi-darkness how she had been so excited to be a part of this place, to travel with them, to see new things. That felt like years ago.

She was startled awake once again, but this time it wasn’t a sound from the platform.

The cabin gave a great shudder, knocking her about where she lay against the cushions. Then the flat end of the cabin with the fridge and mirror started to rise up, rolling her toward the curved end, the part that was covered with cushions like the bed.

The carousel was turning on its side.

Suddenly, all the latches on the drawers, the storage space, the fridge and the door made sense. Caroline clung to her pillow and blankets, trying to calm her breathing, until the carousel cabin rocked slightly on its curve. She now rested completely on the cushions that lined the wall on the other side of her bed, which showed the practicality of that particular design as well.

The carousel shuddered again. Caroline had the distinct sensation of being swung in a hammock. She heard the creaking groan of metal on metal.

Then there was the purr of an engine. The carousel was on a vehicle.

Caroline cautiously fished around for her cell phone, which had fallen somewhere under her when the cabin had turned on end. It was four o’clock in the morning.

The circus must leave before dawn. Ever the illusion of mystery. First the circus was there and then it was gone, with little more than sawdust and litter to suggest it had ever been.

Even more cautiously, Caroline climbed up the curved side of the cabin. It took an extra-long reach, but she was able to unlatch the door, push it open then pull herself into the opening.

She couldn’t see the world passing by. Instead, there was corrugated metal sheeting with holes, like on the kind of tractor trailer that moved livestock. She glimpsed poles in the darkness, and at their bottom, amorphous shapes. The carousel mounts. They had taken the carousel apart and put her in the truck with them.

Caroline had to admit, the whole setup was clever. She could be transferred with the carousel when it was dismantled, and they didn’t even have to disrupt her sleep, this time notwithstanding. That’s what the cushions on the wall were for, for whoever it was to roll her onto the side, and she’d still be in bed. Madoc had thought of everything.

She blearily wondered whether the carousel cabin had been there when he’d first shown the carousel to her or whether he’d created it for her after she’d made the wish.

The truck hit a pothole. Some of the objects in the truck didn’t move like the rigid mounts. People. Many black-clothed people. Crew. The minor good feelings she’d had toward Madoc faded when she realized he was probably the reason they were packed in here like farm animals, not even a tiny half-moon cabin to their name.

“Are you okay?” Caroline asked the sea of mannequin eyes.

“Don’t worry about us, Miss Barrett,” said Geoff.

She couldn’t find him in the mass, but she recognized his voice.

“We’re just fine. Go back to sleep.”

No, they were not just fine, but she wasn’t in any position to argue. Her arms hurt over the sides of the door, and it wasn’t like she could invite them all in with her—nor did she want to. She pulled the door closed behind her and slid back down to the bed. Knowing that she was in a tiny cabin in a moving truck ironically made her cabin feel even smaller, but the air conditioning unit kept moving cool air through, reminding her that she could breathe. Caroline closed her eyes and covered herself in her blankets. Dreamless sleep awaited her return.

 

* * * *

 

Arcanium had settled into their new lot in what seemed like record time to Caroline. It was almost indistinguishable from the previous lot. But it was at least a few hours and therefore a few hundred miles away from where they had been. It had been all Caroline could do to convince herself to get up out of the cabin and into daylight.

The rest of the circus folk milled around the big top. Some of them rehearsed. Some of them carpooled with Maya to a shopping center for supplies and a little R&R. And the rest did whatever they did in private. Caroline didn’t concern herself with any of these things, even the prospect of a coffee run. She’d shaken her head when Maya had asked her if she wanted anything. As a voluntary cast member, she had certain privileges, but she was still contesting that ‘voluntary’ label, and she didn’t want anything they had to give her.

It wasn’t that she was sulking, although it sometimes seemed that she was, even to herself. No matter how nice some of the cast members were, she had to remember they’d chosen a side.

“I know you probably want nothing to do with a lot of us,” Kitty said. She sat down at the table next to Caroline, who was by herself, eating the dinner that the staff had cooked up for the cast. At least this one had green vegetables in it that weren’t surrounded by fried breading.

Caroline fixed her gaze on her plate and didn’t reply.

“Bell tells me it’s time to get to work on your hair and makeup. Sasha has your leather ready for you, and I think I’ve found a few things from Valorie’s old wardrobe that you can try on. You get my whole evening,” Kitty said. “We have my tent to ourselves.”

“What if I don’t want to look pretty for the customers? What if I just want to blend into the background like the rest of the crew until I can leave?” Caroline asked.

“Where’s the fun in that? Look, Caroline, you don’t have to like Bell or the Ringmaster. You don’t have to like any of the other demons. You don’t even have to like me. But there’s absolutely no reason why your year with us has to be awful. That’s not why Bell brought you into this. Believe me, if he wanted you unhappy, you’d know it. Just ask Misha, our sword swallower, or John, Shawn or Melanie. The ones here because Bell’s displeased with them know it. Now, do you want this next year to be miserable? Or do you want to have a little fun? You were looking forward to being a part of things before you knew about the other side of Arcanium. You can still enjoy those things.”

Caroline set down her utensils. “Why are you okay with all of this?” she asked, finally meeting Kitty’s eyes. “The way I see it, it makes you no better than an accomplice to whatever they do.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Kitty said. She stroked Caroline’s hair. “They’d be doing it whether I was here or not. And Arcanium is the best place for me. It’s home. I don’t think that makes me a bad person just because some of the people I work with might be considered bad people.”

“There are bad people who do things, and bad people who see it and do nothing,” Caroline retorted.

“Then there are the bad things in the dark that are meant to be there. They’re not the same thing as bad people, Caroline,” Kitty said gently. “I don’t expect you to understand that yet. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But Bell would like you to be cast instead of crew, and I think you’ll have a better year in costume than in self-imposed isolation. Don’t you agree?”

Caroline lowered her eyes. “Can I finish my dinner first?”

“Sure,” Kitty said. “I have ingredients for margaritas in my fridge. Do you want me to make you one? It seems like one of those nights, and you might enjoy yourself more if you can relax a little.”

“Please, yes,” Caroline replied. One drink. Or seven. Seven might not be too bad. She’d suffer the hangover for a little oblivion.

“Two’s my limit for anyone human,” Kitty warned her, as though she knew what Caroline was thinking. “If you want to go out and get drunk, you have to…you know…go out.”

“Damn. Fine. Whatever.”

“All right. I’ll see you in my tent.” Kitty paused before leaving then leaned over and kissed the top of Caroline’s head. Her beard, bound in a tail, brushed softly against Caroline’s shoulder.

 

* * * *

 

Caroline hesitated outside Kitty’s tent, wondering if she was stepping over her own line by interacting with someone who embraced Arcanium—or at the very least turned a blind eye.

But Madoc wanted her to be cast instead of crew, and she didn’t know what he would do if she denied him. She hadn’t wished for that, but she had agreed for him to basically be her boss. From what she could tell from her research, she was kind of at the mercy of his power over the wish. He could make it into whatever he wanted, not necessarily what she had intended.

He could say he liked her and that she was safe all he wanted. She didn’t trust him not to change his mind. He could force her to be the carousel engineer he wanted. And Kitty would help him. Caroline was sure of it.

She lifted the tent flap and walked in. It smelled like a cantina. Caroline breathed a sigh of relief at the two glasses on the vanity. Kitty stood up from her cot, where she had been reading a hardback novel.

“Glad you could make it. Have a seat and a drink,” Kitty said. Her long hair had been pinned up into a prodigious bun, and she’d braided her bound beard so that it took up less space.

“Do I really want you working with my hair while drinking?” Caroline asked.

“It’s not usually recommended, but I could do hair bare-ass drunk if it came down to it. I’m just having one, and I don’t plan to do any driving while trimming. I think you’ll be safe.”

“You think?”

“I’ve done Joanne and Jane’s hair after two glasses of scotch. I think I can do your hair on a margarita,” Kitty said. She took a standard brush from her kit and ran it gently through Caroline’s hair, working through the tangles and getting a good look at it.

“Which ones are Joanne and Jane?” Caroline asked.

“The conjoined twins,” Kitty replied.

“Okay, you can have the other drink.”

“Have you given any thought as to anything you would like done to your hair? I can braid it up like Valorie’s, or we can give it a more visually interesting cut. I understand you’re in college, probably didn’t have time or money to do more than a trim and a store-bought dye job. That’s not a dig, by the way. I’m hardly one to throw stones about hair choices.”

“I hadn’t planned on doing anything,” Caroline said. Kitty had called it—other than getting it trimmed every six months and dyeing it a richer box blonde when the dull roots showed too much, she didn’t do much with her hair. Headbands and elastic bands were her friends. “I’m afraid to say you should do whatever you want, but I wouldn’t know what to ask for.”

“How do you feel about color streaks?” Kitty asked. “You have an advantage over Maya, with such blonde hair. I had to get Bell’s help for Maya’s red. There are some upsides to having a magical boss. I mean, I could do Maya’s hair without his help, but it would be much higher maintenance, bleaching and redyeing. With you, it would be a matter of a simple touchup.”

Caroline stared at herself in the mirror. She knew the person there, knew what she was supposed to look like, what she was supposed to be doing. If her father had had his way, she’d be wearing a power suit, her shoulder-length hair brushed and meticulously straightened, her makeup tastefully enhancing but invisible. Caroline wished her father had had his way—but it hadn’t been for Caroline’s lack of trying. And now there was nothing she could do to change the fact that she was cast of a circus with a reputation to maintain. She couldn’t be the girl she’d wanted to be, the one she knew how to be. If she had to keep seeing that girl in the mirror, maybe she’d never get over what she’d lost.

She took three fast swallows of her margarita. “Do whatever you want.”

By the time Kitty was through with the most strenuous part of tending Caroline’s hair she’d turned Caroline around away from the mirror, and Caroline was drinking her second margarita with a straw, keeping herself still to make sure the blonde touchup dye and the aluminum-covered streaks weren’t disturbed. There were a few odd angles of hair at her feet from where Kitty had made the ends of her straighter haircut jagged. That much she had seen. It edged up her hairstyle, enhancing the sharper points of her bone structure rather than softening them.

While they waited for the dye to set, Kitty took out the makeup that she’d been considering for Caroline then retrieved a garment bag from her bed.

“I was thinking of going cooler with your palette. You have such light coloring, but you definitely lean ivory rather than ruddy or gold. I think brown would be too bland for you, so most of your leather is going to be black or a mix of brown with other colors. Lady Sasha agreed that instead of going with Arcanium’s usual colors, especially since they’re represented so well with the carousel, we’d like to give you a base of blue, expanding into greens and purples with an undernote of blue instead of red,” Kitty explained after she had dried Caroline’s hair.

When Kitty finished with the blow dryer, the front locks framed Caroline’s face with dark but rich, startling peacock-blue. She had loved the color when Kitty had shown her the dye. She just didn’t know whether she’d love the color on her hair or whether she’d look like a wannabe hipster when all this was over. Kitty still wouldn’t let her look in the mirror.

“As you can see from the makeup, we like a dramatic eye for you, which I can do for you or you can do it yourself. Either a bright color for the lids or a smoky eye paired with a bright red or pink lipstick. I think you can pull off the dramatic in an entirely different way than Maya.” Kitty laughed a little. “I used to love makeup when I was a little girl, but it just cakes and powders on my hair now that I don’t groom it into oblivion.”

“Have you ever considered wishing it to go away?” Caroline asked, her tongue loosened and her words a little slurred even to her own ears. “Or is that a stupid question? I know I’d consider it. Who wouldn’t?”

“Yes, I considered it,” Kitty said. “But my wishes are up.”

“So that ‘three wishes’ thing is an actual thing?”

Kitty bit at her grin. Caroline was not prone to being articulate in her tipsiness. “Yes. You only get three wishes.”

“So I have two more,” Caroline mused. “I’ll bet you can’t wish for more.”

“Nope. No loopholes. Bell’s the only one allowed to have loopholes,” Kitty said.

“Why does he get holes and not me?” Caroline asked.

“That’s what happens when you make the rules. He controls all the pieces, and he has all the power. He wrote the rulebook, so he knows where all the loopholes are,” Kitty said. “There’s no point in telling jinn something isn’t fair. He’s not interested in fair.”

“Then what’s he interested in?”

“You’d have to ask him, although I doubt he’d answer. My guess? Entertainment. Sometimes the entertainment he chooses is justice, the way some people like to watch procedurals. But other times, the things he does have little to do with justice. It’s impossible to know why he does what he does, so I wouldn’t recommend trying to understand him,” Kitty said. “Do you want me to do your makeup before showing you the costumes?”

Caroline shook her head. “Just give me the tools. I can do most of it myself when I’m capable of drawing a straight line again. I’ve also seen what some of you people wear. Kinky minds made those costumes. I’m almost scared.”

“It does take some getting used to,” Kitty admitted. She turned away to unzip the garment bag.

“Why didn’t you wish it?” Caroline asked.

“To lose my hair where I don’t want it?” Kitty asked. “It’s complicated. Suffice it to say, once I found my place in Arcanium, the matter wasn’t that important anymore. The clientele come here looking for something a little different, so my social life doesn’t suffer for it.”

“Well, if you don’t want to lose your hair but miss what it was like not having it, maybe you could have wished to control whether you had it or not,” Caroline said.

Kitty’s hands froze on the zipper.

“Like, you could still be the Bearded Lady of Arcanium, but you could also say one day, ‘You know what? I don’t want any hair at all. Self, make me completely bald’. Or, you know, ‘Body hair, be gone’, or something like that.” She was starting to babble, made worse by the realization that Kitty still hadn’t moved, so she wondered whether she’d said and was still saying things she shouldn’t. “That way you could be normal or not normal whenever you wanted. I mean, if you still had your wishes. Back then. If Madoc hadn’t twisted it or anything.”

“Maybe one day I’ll ask someone else if they’re willing to make that wish for me,” Kitty said quietly. “For now, I’m fine being the Bearded Lady, and I wouldn’t ask just anyone to sacrifice a wish.”

She finished opening the garment bag.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Caroline exclaimed. “That’s gonna get me arrested in a few states of the Union.”

“To say the least,” Kitty replied. “Like I said, you get used to it. Besides, you’ve probably worn less at a community pool. Remember that.”

“Yeah, but…that’s different.” Caroline wasn’t sure how, but she was sure it was. “That’s where you’re supposed to wear less.”

“But this is Arcanium,” Kitty said. “It won’t be out of place here. Believe me. It’s not just the cast that dresses this way. At the right town, with the right connections, it’s the normal dressers that feel out of place.”

“I can’t wear this. My dad will fucking have kittens,” Caroline said, holding up the black leather dress. Dress was a generous term. Thin, brass-buckled straps over the shoulders and across the midriff connected a structured black bra to a tight, short skirt.

“Very few of us invite our families to come see us,” Kitty said. “And you don’t have to wear this all the time. This would be good for when we have kink conventions visiting us, for instance, or closer to Halloween, but it would be terrible for a faire. See? These were more what Sasha and I had in mind for regular wear.”

Kitty showed her two other outfits, both of them practically Puritan in comparison. One was the mix of brown and black that Kitty had talked about, black lace over a brown leather, strapped, underbust corset. Bunched black cotton covered the breasts, and the thin, slight sleeves draped off the shoulder. The thick buckles of the corset were in the front and looked like aged brass gears, resembling the clockwork of the carousel cage. The top paired with a tiered and bunched black cotton skirt that reached below the knee at its lowest point.

“This one was made to make you blend in with the carousel, but still stand out as cast rather than crew,” Kitty said, shaking the hanger to indicate the brown and black steampunk ensemble.

“All I need are some goggles and a top hat,” Caroline said. “I like it.” She hadn’t meant to say that last part. She’d rather stay incensed. But even the kinky poor excuse for a dress was cute, in an overtly sexual way Caroline was very much not used to expressing in public, even on Halloween.

Kitty raised the other outfit. “And this one should function for any venue. The bodice, anyway. There’s also a long black skirt in the pile that you can wear for the Renaissance faires instead of the leather pants or the shorter skirt, but it’s a pretty easy transition. It goes with your hair and makeup palettes. It used to be Valorie’s, but I think it’s more suited to you.”

And now Caroline was literally biting her tongue to keep from gushing about how gorgeous the satin corset bodice was. The minute she admitted she couldn’t wait to put these clothes on was the minute she was firmly in Arcanium’s clutches, and she couldn’t allow herself to be glad to be a part of this.

But oh, those beaded peacock feathers and the peacock-blue, structured satin over the shoulders and down over the hips where the ivory, blue, purple, green and black feather designs didn’t reach. Caroline was, however, glad to note that there was a zipper in the back. She didn’t think she had the dexterity for anything else, and she would have hated asking someone else to do it for her.

“Try this one on,” Kitty said. She set down the steampunk getup before pulling the peacock bodice and folded leather pants from its hanger. “You can’t fool me. You want to. And I think it’ll really set off the hair reveal. No, don’t look yet. Do you need privacy to change or—?”

“I don’t mind,” Caroline said. They were both women here. They knew what their bits looked like. She took off her shirt and jeans. Then she pulled on the leather pants.

Wow, Kitty wasn’t kidding. Lady Sasha did magic with leather. She was a succubus, but Caroline didn’t know that meant she could make leather pants comfortable even in the heat. It was like wearing warm butter, and it fit perfectly. She didn’t have to stretch it out or hold in her stomach to button it closed. Lady Sasha had to have made a deal with the devil at some point, because leatherwear like this just didn’t happen in reality.

Once she had unzipped the bodice, she realized she’d have to take off her bra, even with the straps. Bare breasts were a little more intimate than she usually showed in a girls’ locker room, but she unhooked her bra anyway and discarded it with the rest of her clothes to zip the corset bodice.

“Look at yourself,” Kitty said. She turned Caroline around to look in the mirror.

The face was still hers only because she hadn’t put on any of the makeup, but even that looked slightly different, elfin with her small nose, pointed chin, and low but defined cheekbones now framed with the jagged fringe of her new hair. Some locks were still shoulder length, others closer to the base of her skull, the angles unpredictable, blunt and dramatic. That alone would have been a departure from her usual reflection, but the blue streaks Kitty had put in brought out the color in the corset bodice.

It hugged her body, displaying her shape rather than creating it. Caroline had always been leaner than she was curvy, but this bodice accentuated that leanness while calling attention to the curves she had. And the color was sumptuous against her paler skin.

She wouldn’t belong behind a receptionist desk, that’s for sure. She wasn’t sure yet whether she was circus material, but Kitty seemed pleased with the end result, playing with the uneven layers of Caroline’s hair.

“I look so weird,” Caroline said. She leaned in as though she’d recognize herself better up close.

“That’s the general idea,” Kitty replied.

“So this is me forever,” Caroline muttered.

“Not forever,” Kitty said. “You have to remember that. You won’t be here forever, not if you don’t want to be.”

“I’ll never want to be,” Caroline said. But under the influence of two margaritas and a makeover, she thought she might make the year.

 

* * * *

 

Kitty had made sure Caroline could walk steady before letting her go alone back to the carousel, now fully assembled as though it had never been taken apart. Whoever the staff were—and that was still a mystery, like many things, because they were always around but rarely seemed to interact with the cast—they were efficient little buggers, like ants building giant anthills after the rain. The whole circus was up and running, and it was only Monday night.

Caroline had changed back into her casual clothes. Kitty had told her she could get her costumes back once her blood alcohol level was under the legal limit. It wasn’t that they didn’t have magic to clean them up if something went wrong, but they’d rather not have to clean them more than necessary, because Lady Sasha had other things on her plate she would rather be doing. Caroline could see the wisdom in not pissing a succubus off.

All things considered, though, she felt pretty good. Her limbs were loose, her hair was awesome and for a few hours anyway, Arcanium didn’t seem like such a dark place—evilly speaking, because it was nighttime, so it was very dark indeed. But the carousel was like a beacon, a lighthouse, and she approached it as steadily as she could.

She crawled up, using a horse’s leg for leverage then stood, holding her head to keep the carousel from spinning without her telling it to.

When she righted herself, her vision focused on the man standing before her.

The slender, strong, slightly scary man from her dream—except this wasn’t a dream. She’d never had a hallucination while drunk before. And she wasn’t drunk anyway. She was tipsy. But she had to be hallucinating, because that man had been part of her dream.

“Are you real?” Caroline asked. “Tell me you’re not real.”

“Wish I could,” the man said.

“Hi,” came a shy voice from the other direction.

Caroline spun around and steadied herself again, wincing against her headache. The large man from her first dream was walking toward her.

“Why am I seeing two dreams? You two dreams shouldn’t know each other,” Caroline said. “It’s a time paradox. The universe will be destroyed.”

“You thought I was just a dream?” the larger man asked. “I guess it depends on whether it was a good dream or a bad dream.”

“Oh, it was a good dream. It was a hella good dream. I’ll be thinking of that dream for a while. God, did I really just say that?” Caroline said.

“And what was I, chopped human liver?” the thinner man said. “I had the impression that I impressed several times.”

“No, I liked that too. Can the two of you stop existing together for a second? I am so not sober enough for this.”

“You’re not sober at all, by the smell of it. Happy hour at the cantina?” the thinner man asked.

“Girls’ night in Kitty’s tent,” Caroline replied. “What the hell is going on? Why are you real? You’re not supposed to be real. Oh God, you’re real, and that means…I mean, I didn’t…but you didn’t…”

“Breathe, Caroline,” Madoc said, approaching between the mounts. He caressed the manes and tentacles and scales of the animals as he passed them. “I told you that you’re in no danger here. That includes danger of disease or procreation. Arcanium is no place for small children.”

“You!” Caroline shouted. She pointed her finger at his chest and kept pointing until she was poking his chest with it. “You’re the one who’s done all this. You were in my dreams and now you’ve created these illusions to trick me. You’re playing with me like a cat toy. And I’m pretty sure you’re a contributing factor to the second margarita.”

“No doubt,” Madoc said. He was gentle as he lowered her finger away from where it poked at him. “But you mistake my intention.”

“Your intentions mean shit,” Caroline retorted.

“Even if they are meant to give you attractive things that you like?” Madoc asked.

“Why would you do that? I’ve been so rude. You deserve it, but I’ve been so rude.”

“Yes, you have, but there’s always a period of adjustment,” Madoc said. “I make allowances for your youth and your grief. In that way, you are no different from many of my Arcanium cast.”

“What allowances did you make for my youth and grief?” the thinner man snarled. “Or do you just make allowances for lovely young women you can corrupt?”

“I’m perfectly content corrupting Maya at the moment,” Madoc said, unfazed. “I like people who like my circus, not those who seek to destroy it. Caroline may not like it now, but she liked it then and she’ll like it again.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Caroline interjected.

“I would,” Madoc said. “It is inevitable, my dear. But I don’t intend to rush you on the matter. I only hope to offer you more incentive to enjoy your time in Arcanium.”

“Is that why you brought us out? New toys to please the new girl?” the thinner man asked. He backed away, glaring between Caroline and Madoc. He crossed his arms defensively over his chest.

The larger man continued looking bewildered, but he edged closer to Caroline.

Caroline poked his arm. Yep, he was definitely there. Maybe some additional prodding was in order. She squeezed the muscle there. Her small hands couldn’t get a grip, he was so big. He looked at where she touched him, his tan face darkening with a flush. Caroline didn’t bother being surreptitious about checking. His hot leather shorts were closed this time, but she could see the outline of his erection along his hip. She bit her lip.

“I told you that you would stay trapped as mounts for as long as I wished you to serve, and there would come someone whose presence could release you,” Madoc said. “There’s no need to play indifferent, Colm. I wasn’t here to witness your…release, but I could see it in its entirety if I wanted to, if you require the humiliation.”

“No, thanks,” Caroline interjected. “I don’t need you in my sex dream life. That’s just not right.”

“I must add that just because she can release you doesn’t mean she will,” Madoc said to both men. “You are still my prisoners for what you’ve done. I present Caroline as a path for your penance. I pass the reins into her hands. You are to serve her as you have served me. If you serve Caroline better than you’ve served me, perhaps you will earn reprieve in your punishment.”

“You mean I get two hot men all to myself?” Caroline asked. She leaned against the larger man she’d been touching and nuzzled him with her cheek. He tentatively slipped his arm around her and stroked her shoulder as though he were afraid to touch her wrong. “While that’s kind of gross, where do I sign up?”

“You already have,” Madoc replied with an indulgent smile. “It’s up to you what to do with these men after the performances begin and the rest of the circus exhibits have closed. You are their engineer. You are their mistress now. Their duty is to please you. Their desire is to please you, because you are their savior, and it is in their nature to desire their savior.”

“You’re really dramatic. Has anyone ever told you that? Like, so dramatic it’s kind of hard to tell if you’re serious or just screwing around with me again,” Caroline said.

“I have been told that, yes.”

“No,” Colm snapped, slamming his fist into the side of the nearest horse. “No, you’re not going to do this to me. You already roped me into service, stripped me of my power, made me a common plaything and beast of burden to the swell of humanity, but you will not make me kneel before a human woman in servitude. The bit of slavery is a bitter one, but I’d rather stay entrapped in that wooden form than consent to such an arrangement. You will not bring me lower.”

“It seems fifty years of imprisonment and torture was not enough for you,” Madoc said. “Would you really rather I put you back as a mount? After all, I was under the impression you’d already knelt before her in servitude—and of your own accord.”

“You will not chain me to a human!” Colm screamed, slicing through the air with his open hand as though to cut Caroline down. “I will not bow to your perverse whim.”

“I thought you wanted to be a part of this circus,” Madoc said. He pressed in on Colm, still unshaken by his anger. “Wasn’t that what got you into this mess in the first place?”

“You’ve had your pound of flesh,” Colm said. “You got what you wanted. Will it ever be enough? But you would let me have a taste of freedom then chain me once more? And to her.”

“You took your pleasure with her well enough when you thought she’d set you free. You will not derive less pleasure when she’s holding your reins.”

“Just because you’ve chained yourself to a human woman doesn’t mean that’s what the rest of us want.”

Madoc shoved Colm against the brass cage. Colm sprawled against it to steady himself. Then Madoc slid his hand over the front of Colm’s leather trousers.

“What about this?” Madoc said through clenched teeth. “Was does this say about what you want?”

“More of your torment,” Colm spat at him.

“I didn’t make you want her,” Madoc said. He pushed Colm again, making Colm wince, but Madoc stepped back. “You want her because you are hers. I don’t make people want what they don’t want.”

“And that’s why you added an incubus and succubus to the cast,” Colm said.

“They make people want what they want more,” Madoc replied. “You know that perfectly well.”

“I won’t do it. I won’t dance for you, Bell. I won’t grovel before her like a rocking horse for her to ride,” Colm said.

“We’ll see how long you’ll resist,” Madoc said, “when she is right before you, desiring you as much as you desire her, and you refuse to have her.”

“What if I just take her—take what I want—and leave her husk for you to find?” Colm said.

“You can’t. You cannot harm her, Colm, but if you try, I’ll have you under the Ringmaster’s whip once again.”

The man holding Caroline tightened his grip around her. Caroline had been watching Colm and Madoc fight in fascination, but she was having a little trouble following.

Colm’s insistence on calling her human made her think that he wasn’t, and their familiarity with each other suggested the two men knew each other quite well. Caroline’s only conclusion was that Colm was jinn or demon, and for some reason he couldn’t stop Madoc or do anything to change that Madoc was handing Colm over to Caroline for her to…to do what? Ride Colm and the man holding her now until they couldn’t get it up anymore?

The prospect sounded tantalizing at the moment—except for the whole ‘Colm is a demon’ part, because if he was, she couldn’t believe she’d let him in. She knew from old Sunday school lessons that doing that never ended well. In her defense, she’d really thought she was dreaming. It wasn’t like she’d invited him in on purpose.

Still, when Madoc stepped away from him, Caroline couldn’t help but notice Colm’s impossible-to-conceal erection, like the one that the man holding her was trying not to rub on her. Caroline leaned back against him, her legs shaking as she pressed her ass against his cock, moving it in small circles over the bulge until he gave a strangled groan.

“What’s your name, big guy?” Caroline asked. If she was going to give the man who’d already thoroughly fucked her a lap dance—and if she was being gifted him by someone who didn’t understand people shouldn’t be gifts—she should probably learn his name.

“Riley,” he replied. “I think it’s a bit late to say that I’m pleased to meet you.”

“Mmm, I can tell.”

It didn’t matter that she was doing this in front of Madoc. He wasn’t paying attention to her. Colm was, however, and he glared at Riley as though he could throw weapons with his gaze and willpower alone. Maybe at one point in time, he could, but not anymore.

“What? Jealous already for the mistress you want nothing to do with?” Madoc said.

“Fuck you and the self-righteous horse you rode in on, Bell,” Colm said through clenched teeth. “I’ll get out of this one way or another, and I’ll get out of it through the girl.”

“You can try,” Madoc said. “I’m sure it will amuse her when you can’t lift a finger to harm her.”

“You never knew what a real dungeon was supposed to be like, you sick fuck,” Colm said.

“That’s where you and I never saw eye-to-eye,” Madoc replied. “I was never trying to create a dungeon. That was just my template. And it’s mine. You can’t have Arcanium. You can never have Arcanium. Both of you—Colm, Riley—you are still being punished and you’re still mine. The only wills and whims you have to concern yourself with are mine and Caroline’s. See, Colm? Riley already has the right idea. Please the mistress, and you might just placate the master enough to let you go when you finally wish him to.”

“So let me get this straight.” Caroline still couldn’t think too well, and the pool of arousal dampening her panties as she continued teasing Riley wasn’t helping, nor were his strong arms around her and the little pants he made near her ear. “These two have been in the carousel the whole time? The men that people ride, they’re actual men? With erections? All the time?”

“Colm has been here longer than Riley, but yes,” Madoc said.

“That’s horrible. It’s awful. Monstrous.” Sounded like something a demon would do. Caroline remembered Christina. Madoc had done that to her too. He had done many awful things to many people who didn’t deserve them. In comparison, he had treated Caroline like a queen, but that didn’t make everything else he did okay.

“I’m sure some might think so, if they didn’t know what had been done to displease me,” Madoc said.

“Urinated in a corner? Happened to make a wish you didn’t like?” Caroline asked.

“Why don’t you ask your new toys what they did?” Madoc said. “There are some cast who have become what they are because I simply wanted that particular oddity or act and because they amuse me. But there are others who are here because they’ve done something grievously offensive to my circus or to my people. You are my people now, Caroline. I will protect you to the death of those who would harm you. But people have so much fewer uses after their death. Better to make them suffer through their usefulness. Wouldn’t you agree, Colm?”

“In another life and another world, I will enjoy peeling your skin off and feeding it to you,” Colm replied.

“There will never be a world in which you can best me,” Madoc said. He turned his back on Colm, showing how little concern he had for anything that Colm could do to him. “Remember, Caroline, your boys become pumpkins again at sunrise, but you have them all night. You are bound by the same rules as they are. You can’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do. But you are free to do just about anything your mind or body can devise.”

“Okay, right now that all sounds really good, but in the morning I’m pretty sure I’m going to yell at you. Make that afternoon,” Caroline said. She gasped as Riley ground against her with particular intensity, clutching at her hips. She threw her head back against his shoulder. Even though Madoc was still there, she took one of Riley’s hands and guided it between her legs.

“We’ll see,” Madoc murmured, looking them over with hooded eyes. Then he jumped down from the carousel and walked off somewhere into the darkness. Caroline didn’t know which direction, and frankly, she didn’t care.