Lipsmacker

Ashley Hind

“This is the ballad of Fanny Spänkka, who fell in love with the beautiful drummer and then had her heart broken by Yours Truly. It’s not actually a ballad, obviously. It’s more of a swift tale, but I use the term for the musical connotations, since dearest Fanny does so love to boast to all her girly conquests that she is the lead singer of a rock band. She doesn’t mention that it’s a crap rock band. This isn’t even much of a tale, if I’m honest - more a cautionary note not to get ideas above your station where I am concerned. Because if you get me uncharacteristically drunk and perform your particularly nasty kink upon my person, you can bet your sweet ass that I, as the most luscious natural dominatrix imaginable, am going to bring a hefty bum-load of retribution straight round to your back door. And that’s exactly what I did...”

This is the ballad of Fanny Spänkka, who fell in love with the beautiful drummer and then had her heart broken by Yours Truly. It’s not actually a ballad, obviously. It’s more of a swift tale, but I use the term for the musical connotations, since dearest Fanny does so love to boast to all her girly conquests that she is the lead singer of a rock band. She doesn’t mention that it’s a crap rock band. This isn’t even much of a tale, if I’m honest - more a cautionary note not to get ideas above your station where I am concerned. Because if you get me uncharacteristically drunk and perform your particularly nasty kink upon my person, you can bet your sweet ass that I, as the most luscious natural dominatrix imaginable, am going to bring a hefty bum-load of retribution straight round to your back door. And that’s exactly what I did.

I never took Fanny that seriously. I mean, her band is called Q.W.I.M. for goodness sake! It stands for Queens Who Idolise Music, apparently. Queens Who Butcher Music, more like - but changing the I to a B prevents the “hilarious” joke of forcing people to use the word quim whenever they mention the band. Their Unique Selling Point is lipstick lesbianism, which is a little tenuous considering that, out of the four-piece, two of them are bisexual at best. Nonetheless, they have built up an unfeasibly loyal fan base of presumably deaf young ladies, who think it cool to dip a toe into the Sapphic pool. And yes, you can sense my bitterness at the fact that ridiculous Fanny has all these nubile rock bitches panting after her.

She’s not the type I would usually let into my undies. She’s good-looking enough but she talks rubbish all day long and believes her own hype way too much. Moreover, she is an utter fraud. Her trademark kink, the one that inspired her stage name, was stolen off another Rock Goddess who was indeed the genuine article, and became the lead singer of Slikbitch. The two of them had slept together a few times when they were both starting out on the club and student circuits, and young Fanny - then plain Ingrid - had been on the receiving end of this naughty act. She decided she needed an edgy image of her own, so she stole the kink and made it the centre of her sexual repertoire, and then changed her name so that it looked like it was her idea all along.

I know this to be true because when Slikbitch supported U.S. metal giants Wrath’s Child on the European leg of their world tour, I was invited to come along and take pictures. I got very up close and personal with the aforementioned Rock Goddess, so I know what really happened. Last summer, over the festival season, the paths of the two bands seemed to be permanently crossed. Fanny was around almost constantly. Because of the connection between the two lead singers, Q.W.I.M. got invited to a much better class of aftershow party than their lowly status would normally have allowed.

Right from the first time I saw Fanny she was trying to make a big noise, but then I guess fame has always been about blagging your way up. Her band was all about sex and sexuality, the mantra being that all girls, gay or straight, should be forever kicking no-good boys into touch in order to try a bit of lady lovin’ with their sexy female mates instead. They had songs called things like “I Turned Her”, and their closest thing to a hit, “Friends with Benefits”. The latter contained the poetry-dodging line, to be shouted in unison by the frenzied female crowd, of guzzle down your BFF’s honey til she screams! Classy.

It was imperative that everyone knew of Fanny’s sexual preferences. She mentioned it whenever possible and tried always to have a girl in tow. She had the legend “Gorgeous Lesbian” tattooed upon her left shoulder, which is going to look cracking when she is sixty. In spite of her in-yer-face desperation, in spite of the fact she was barely even on the very fringes of fame, she was bewilderingly never short of groupies - more often than not nice lookers, though seldom much out of their teens. The magic word when it comes to sex is clearly not “abracadabra” but “I’minaband”.

It was seemingly illegal for her not to be seen unless she was snogging the face off one of these groupies. At parties she swapped from one to another. Her favourite stunt was to have a line of them service her as she sat with her legs over the arms of a chair. Part of her regular stage costume was a pleated grey skirt from a school uniform. She would wear this so girls on their knees could easily get their heads up it and give her a good time without compromising her modesty. But one girl was not enough for her, oh no. She would have a caterpillar of them - three, sometimes four in a row, waiting their turn. And she would have the waiting girls put their head up the skirt of the one in front on her knees, or pull down the jeans and panties to get at their privates from the rear.

It was quite amusing to watch, in truth - very rock ’n’ roll for sure. Fanny did her best to ruin a good thing by calling out a loud, look-at-me commentary of bizarre phrases, like “worship at my creamy temple, you pussy disciple!” And “drink your queen bee’s dirty nectar!” I don’t think even she knew what the fuck she was on about. What with her strange carnal proclamations and cheesy lyrics, I dubbed her band “Vaginal Tap” - something that irked her more than she let on, as I later found out.

Sometimes she would strike gold and find a groupie game enough to let her show off her party piece. The first time I witnessed it she had cajoled a girl of Chinese extraction to strip naked, save for a leather choke collar and a pair of purple Doc Marten boots. The Chinese girl was cute looking, still carrying a bit of puppy fat, and with creamy-white skin. She had a plump, dark-lipped bare slit. The girl sat on the lap of Fanny in her chair, leaning back into her and opening her legs wide. The girl strained her head round to kiss her lesbian idol and then Fanny lived up to her name by reaching around and smacking the girl’s pussy lips over and over with her fingers.

It drew quite a crowd, to Miss Spänkka’s delight. The girl moaned and ground her backside into her idol’s crotch, and we ooh-ed and aah-ed as we watched the little labia dance and colour up. Fanny kept on until the girl was writhing and squealing, then she slid a couple of fingers up the soaking, punished puss and finished the girl off. I’d seen and done plenty of botty smacking, but never seen it done live to a pussy before this. As sex shows go, I rather liked it. It was fascinating, as well as very rude. Fanny was as pleased as Punch that her efforts had caused such a stir. I don’t think she even minded that the bassist of Wrath’s Child subsequently did the naked girl of Chinese extraction over a table and finished very messily on her back. The impact had already been made.

So, the wannabe star was beginning to turn heads and get noticed. It followed that the best thing to do was to bare as many groupie pussies as she could and spank them with the same aplomb. It was not a sight we were ever going to tire of. As her reputation built she would have girls come to her already stripped from the waist down, desperate to sacrifice their sensitive bits on the altar of lesbo rock and roll. All these lambs seemed to enjoy their punishment tremendously and I’m fairly sure Fanny never failed to make any of them come. She was a girl seemingly on the way up, getting all the sexy pussy that she could handle.

However, things were not entirely rosy in the garden of Fanny. Of all the young girls she could get there was one who steadfastly refused to be seduced, and that was her own bandmate, drummer Millie Minks. Sadly for Fanny she had a HUGE crush on Millie, one that drove her to distraction and drink, and to do all those nasty things to her groupies. I will say right now that Millie is one of the most gorgeous females I have ever set eyes upon. If it wasn’t for her I would have been less keen to mix with her band at all. She has sleek black hair almost as long as my own, huge bright blue eyes and cute dimples. She also has a bit of muscle on her which I found curiously rather attractive.

Despite an appearance of strength, and even though she is in a band, Millie is really rather shy and lacking in self-confidence. She would make appearances at the aforementioned parties but sit quietly drinking in corners, fending off advances, particularly from long-haired tattooed males waving their bare cocks in her face, not quite understanding that lesbians didn’t get turned on by that sort of thing. I shared some common ground with her, because as much as I love sex and kinkiness, I’m not one to expose myself and perform for strangers, which all of the females there were essentially invited to do. I liked the fact that these parties were little short of drunken orgies, with some of the most outrageous antics going on that you would ever see, but I wasn’t going to be just another of the naked tarts being used and abused by all and sundry. That is not how I roll, baby!

I would sit and chat to her sometimes, fending off advances for the both of us. During our chats she admitted she had something of a crush on me, news I found highly interesting until she let me in on her biggest secret: that she was the most vanilla girl ever to walk the earth. I mean, seriously. Kissing, licking, and fingering were acceptable, but anything more than this just totally freaked her out. She told me all this whilst we watched Fanny first shave and then spank the puss of a pretty blonde on a kitchen worktop in some German record exec’s house. She used a spatula that time, as well as her hand. Millie shivered and said she couldn’t believe girls could do such rude things to each other. She then revealed her borderline frigid ways to me.

That’s when I realised there was little point in falling for her. I love to be dirty with my female partners and I liked and respected her too much to push her limits. OK, I might have given her a quick going over in her hotel room later that night, but that was only to see if she was as gorgeous down below as she was up top. She was. I didn’t want to lose my heart to someone I couldn’t even put over my knee. It would have got messy and deeply frustrating and would have ended in heartache all round. So, as great as the temptation was, I decided it best not to pursue her, even if out of all those sexy people on show, it was invariably her I went to bed thinking about that long summer.

I learnt another thing from her that evening. I discovered that Fanny sent Millie constant secret messages proclaiming her love. These were always rebuffed because, although the attraction was mutual, the drummer was petrified of being romantically involved with someone so kinky. Fanny always promised it was an act and she could change, but at every next party, drunk and a slave to her image, she would be up to her usual dirty tricks. I try not to do jealousy, but it tore at me a little to think that if silly Fanny could just put her ego aside for one moment, she might well end up with someone as gorgeous and wholesome as Millie. It wasn’t that I hated Fanny, it was just that I found her so shallow and facile. If the two of them ended up together, Fanny would eventually resort to type. She would cheat on and abuse her bashful bandmate because she was too worried about not appearing rock and roll enough if she didn’t. Millie deserved better. I’m convinced if she were less cripplingly shy she would have set her sights much higher. Like on me, for instance.

So, we had a difficult situation. On one hand we had a very pretty girl who wanted to give her heart, as long as it was to someone who respected her timid ways in sex; on the other was a wannabe star, hopelessly in love with the pretty girl but unable to snare her because of her habitual raunchy antics. The more groupies the wannabe star seduced and the more depraved acts she openly carried out upon their young bodies, the less chance there was of capturing the pretty girl’s heart. Of course, the more the pretty girl rebuffed her, the more desolate the wannabe star became and, in sinking into her need for self-aggrandizement, the more groupies she drunkenly seduced.

Then there was me. I could see that Fanny wasn’t addicted to dirty sex like I was; she simply wanted to create an infamous image for herself. If she had just knocked it on the head, Millie might have forgiven the countless groupies and allowed things to develop between them. If Fanny knew there was such a chance, she might have avoided wallowing in self-pity, getting drunk and taking out her frustrations on the naked pussies of the pretty groupies. I was privy to both sides of the coin. I could have sat them down and talked them through these differences and perhaps left everyone happy. Well, all except for me, that is. I still thought Fanny a posturing nonsense of a girl who did not deserve Millie. Rather than setting them straight, I decided to put the pretty one on the back burner and enjoy the antics of the silly one, encouraging her in every way that I could to continue her naughty ways.

My encouragement was helped by the fact that Fanny was jealous of me, and more than a little in awe. She thought I had already “made it”, although in truth I was merely a visitor to the rock and roll scene, briefly coming along for the ride. But because of my looks I had power and no one messed with me. I could say and do anything to anyone. I was lusted after; revered by some. It didn’t help that I casually let Fanny know of Millie’s crush on me. It drove her wild knowing I could have what she could not at the drop of a hat.

I developed something of a love/hate relationship with the silly singer. She was entertaining to be around because she was just so damn ridiculous, and because she was ever desperate to push the limits of her naughty ways. She was always worried that I might steal her thunder and so at opportune moments I ensured that I did exactly that. However, I was very careful to do it when Millie was not around to witness it. I didn’t want the pretty drummer to lose that crush on me!

If Fanny was dealing out one of her trade-mark spankings, I would get a prettier girl in the same room to commit a greater depravity. Fanny would then try and up the ante, and her efforts would become ever more eye-opening. She became a terribly, terribly dirty bitch, but I could always trump her because I had the greater imagination. When two Dutch girl fans caught us as we were heading out of our hotel foyer, she made them kiss right there and slide their hands down the front of their jeans as they did so, in front of all the staff and a few guests. To top that I had the girls peel off completely, and totter down the street in front of our car in their high heels, their G-strings hanging from their backsides. They gave us an escort two streets to the bar we were heading for.

When I learned that Fanny was to attend an aftershow bash dressed only in black boots and a sheer bodystocking, with only a tiny pair of knickers to keep her honest, I showed up in a skin-tight purple latex catsuit with a built-in smooth plastic dildo at the crotch. I drew the bigger gasps, to her obvious chagrin. Wearing a similar outfit, travelling with Fanny in a lift up to her room with only a chubby but pretty Parisian hotel receptionist for company, I seduced the receptionist by floor four, stopped the lift and did her in her fat bottom with my built-in dildo. Fanny had already crashed and burned with her “do you know who I am?” chat-up line that received no more than a lukewarm Parisian smile.

At this point I don’t know if Fanny hated me or was besotted by me. She certainly seemed to want to be around me as much as possible. She tried to seduce me several times but I would just laugh at her.

‘If I wanted to fuck a girl in a band, I’d just go fuck Millie,’ I used to say to her, cruelly.

I think she loved me, hated me, and wanted to be me in equal measure. Now there were two girls she desperately wanted but couldn’t have: one that couldn’t abide her dirty ways with other girls, and the other, me, who loved to watch them. She put all her eggs in one basket with me and tried ever harder to seduce me through kinkiness. I should applaud her really because she’s a gal after my own heart, but then she tricked me and took advantage, so all niceties went out the window.

I don’t drink much, sticking usually to champagne, which there was always plenty of at the bashes I attended. I should have known better than to let Fanny fetch my drinks that night, but I was feeling sorry for her. The night before I had made her come with my fingers in front of a roomful of girls, then publically refused her the chance to return the favour. I wasn’t being spiteful, I’m just very picky about who does and doesn’t get to see me in compromising positions. However, I felt guilty about leaving her beside herself with frustration and close to tears. Maybe it was just the champagne, but I strongly suspect some glasses had the addition of vodka sneaked in for me to drink, because by midnight I was very giggly and not my usual level-headed self.

Mistake number two was allowing her to take me back to my room to sleep it off. I might have been talking gibberish by then so perhaps she didn’t understand that I could make it back there alone. Things are a little cloudy about what happened next but the end result was that within five minutes I was on my back upon my bed, and she had somehow secured me by my very own cuffs to the headboard. Mistake number three was wearing the black PVC catsuit - not one with a dildo at the crotch this time, but with a chunky chrome zip that went from the top of my mound, all the way underneath, nearly to the top of my bum. When I’m of sober mind I can defend myself from being unzipped and exposed. Here, it seems, I wasn’t.

I must have issued her warnings. I wasn’t so drunk not to know what was happening. She still unzipped me and found me all knickerless and exposed. Maybe I didn’t thrash around enough. Maybe she didn’t fully understand who she was dealing with. She got that glint in her eye and I knew what was coming. She didn’t prepare me in any way - not even with a few tender strokes beforehand to ensure I was wet. She placed her fingers flat, pressing on my shaven puss, and then she gave me a spank.

‘That’s for Millie!’ she said as it landed.

I have a very little puss, with small, delicate lips. I am not very well protected at my most sensitive place. The impact made me squeal. It sent a fizzle right through me that had me sobering up pretty darn quick.

‘That’s for not letting me fuck you!’ she cried out as the next slap landed.

The swell down there was instant, which didn’t help hide me from the smacks that started to come in a flurry, gaining in intensity as she warmed to her task. I perhaps should have given her more warnings, told her in no uncertain terms to stop, but apart from my squeals and gasps I kept my mouth shut.

‘That’s for shoving that champagne bottle up me while I was licking that Swiss Air hostess, and that’s for calling my band “Vaginal Tap”!’

The surprise and heat of the blows sends the shock right through you. The sound is just so incredibly rude, especially as you get wetter. You can see your little petals dancing and juddering, suckering to the fingers as if they cannot bear to let them go. It feels dangerous somehow too, because it is such a sensitive spot that cannot absorb the sting as other parts can, but that seems to unload the endorphins more quickly, sending them spreading through you like a glorious shiver. It hurts for sure, but it’s a special kind of pain; one you can’t help wanting more of.

It is a nasty act, both to watch and to have done to you, and completely compelling. I cannot think of many things that are more humiliating to suffer, especially since you get so wet it is as if you are loving every second of it. Your lips jiggle with apparent glee and open up to show your rude wanting. The slaps send a sharp thrill shooting through your body. All the while it feels wrong and potentially very harmful and yet you can’t help but stick your pussy out and hope for more. I’m sure it would take a very resolute spirit indeed to resist coming from it.

I hid my climax as best I could, trying not to give her the satisfaction. She wanted me to give her something in return and had bared her own puss, but my head was already clearing and a plan was in place. I pretended I had passed out from the drink, so when she started rubbing her wetness in my face she got nothing back from me except heavy breathing and a few pretend snores. She tried rubbing puss to puss but that wouldn’t rouse me either. In the end she resorted to slurping at my wet hole, even though the dirty bitch thought I was asleep.

I am patient when it comes to revenge. Yes, she had given me a good time but she had used me and abused me and that would never do from someone like her. I am the one to be dishing out the humiliation to my girls, not the other way around. Before she had even unleashed me and given up trying to revive me I already knew what to do. Step one was to pretend to have been subdued by Fanny. Rather than come out fighting I acted shyly around her over the next days and weeks, as if she were the one in charge. I suggested I might, in fact, be in love with her. I avoided the parties. When she tried to corner me I would look away, say it was not right, that I had been a bitch. I would mumble that it was only fair that she and Millie were together, since I was the one who stopped it happening. I said I liked her too much to stand between her and true love.

Of course, Millie got much the same spiel, only crafted to let it be known that poor pining Fanny would do anything to win the beautiful drummer’s heart, including abandoning her hedonistic ways.

‘She is not really a dirty girl at heart,’ I told her. ‘I am, so I can tell. It is all an act, one she can’t help falling into and one she is desperate to shake off. She just needs you to ease her back to her comfort zone.’

I said it was ridiculous that they hadn’t spent a night together, since they wanted each other so much. I said I would make it happen for them, at last.

‘I will be with Fanny in her room, to prepare her,’ I told the drummer girl. ‘She wants to be cuffed at the wrists so that you will feel safe with her. She knows that once you start making gentle love to her then she won’t feel the need to do her kinky things. I will leave the key with you so that you can release her once you feel comfortable. She also knows that you don’t like her dirty talk, and she is scared of blurting it out and frightening you off. She has asked to be gagged at first. It is just her nerves that make her do it, a demon you can exorcise. Once you have calmed her she will go back to being how she always used to be, and you can remove the gag so that the two of you can kiss.’

Well, Millie bought it all easily enough. She had that look in her eye, the type virgins get when they think they are going to make love for the first time. Fanny was no more difficult. I told her plain that Millie wanted her, if only the kinks could be ironed out, which was true. I couldn’t stand in the way of love, I said. Fanny made a grasp for my crotch but I eased her off, reminding her that if Millie ever got wind of such things she would be lost forever. I revealed that the drummer was prepared to relent and make love to the singer at last.

When Fanny’s eyes lit up I knew the rest was a formality. She would need to be tied, I said - just at the beginning, until Millie was sure her new lover could be trusted. I also reported that any dirty talk would have the drummer running for cover. I suggested a gag, just to show that there was no need for Millie to fear any rudeness being blurted out, to be removed when she felt ready.

‘If I was to oversee you,’ I said to Fanny, ‘and make sure you were safe when she came, and that it wasn’t all some trick on your part to entice her in and ravish her, then she would gladly come to you.’

I even got a big kiss for arranging it all. So that’s how it went. I timed it all perfectly, to happen the night before we would go our separate ways - me to Donnington with Slikbitch; Q.W.I.M. to a less glamorous mini tour of Scandinavia (where, within a month, Fanny would be infamously photographed wearing a couple of black Norwegian bitches like a pair of gloves, and her tour manager would finally give in and pack her off to rehab). I duly went to Fanny in her room a few doors down from mine and gave her a few sneaky snogs and a tit-sucking, just for old-time’s sake. I stripped her and told her how exciting it was going to be with Millie and that I wished I could watch it all, if only such things didn’t spook the drummer girl. I stripped her naked and then put her on all fours, saying it was how Millie wanted to find her. I asked if she was ready and then gently cuffed her wrists to the headboard, showing her that the key was to be left safely on the bedside cabinet. I stroked her hair and gave her one last kiss, and then secured the ball gag in her mouth, telling her it would soon be off.

I then went to my room where Millie sat patiently, like an expectant new bride, dressed only in my thin dressing gown. I took her and held her and said her new lover was ready for her. I said I had put the singer on all fours and not to be alarmed. It was best that way: it was not a position of gratuitous rudeness - more a position of surrender. If the drummer should use her gentle tongue immediately it would calm everything and set the tone. I told her where the key to the cuffs was and to only use it or remove the gag when she felt ready. She nodded that she understood all this. I then led her down the hall and, just before the drummer entered and went inside, I slipped off her gown. And that is how I got my revenge, leaving the two of them all alone to make passionate love, both fully aware of each other’s needs. I went back to my room to sit in silent contentment.

Oh, yes - I nearly forgot. Just before I left the restrained and gagged Fanny, I put a tube into her bottom and filled her with funnel after funnel-full of olive oil, so much that she was squealing and writhing and barely able to hold it all in. I stowed the evidence under the bed and sauntered off to Millie, taking a last look over my shoulder to witness my victim desperately clenching. She knew that to let it go would present Millie with a scene she would run shocked from. She couldn’t warn her prospective lover because of the gag. Her only hope was to somehow hold on, at least until she could be released and explain her predicament. But what were the chances of that, when a pretty girl was to immediately set about her undefended puss with a yearning tongue? I gave it five minutes, tops.

I over-estimated, in fact. Millie must be a quick worker because I had barely sat down before I heard the screech from down the corridor. I emerged in time to see the fleeing drummer go past carrying a look of horror. Her hair and face and tits were plastered in the yellow-green oil, which had clearly hit her with some force. As she disappeared around the corner I knew she wouldn’t be getting naked with the silly singer again anytime soon. I wore a big smile as I went back off to Fanny. She had her head down, sobbing into the pillow from her shivering release. The evidence of her shame was all over the bed and floor. That’s one bill her management company weren’t going to be thrilled to receive!

I gave her some words of condolence as I calmly sorted through her things and found one of her strap-on dildos. Then I got on my knees behind her and gave her bottom a nice deep fucking, to show there were no hard feelings. I even reached around between her legs and gave her naughty puss an even harder spanking than the one she had given me. She wailed and bucked and when I took her gag off she even sobbed that she loved me, despite her defeat. I’m sure our paths will meet again, but I can’t see much point in trying to pursue her further. My work with her is done. But as for Millie - now she really might be hard to forget. I’m sure that if I could just tie her down I could show her some kinky stuff that she couldn’t help but enjoy. It just so happens that her band is supporting Slikbitch at their next gig. Now, if only I knew a Rock Goddess who could get me a backstage pass...