image
image
image

Chapter Twelve

image

The morning of June 11th, Audrey and Lola hung their gala dresses in the back of Lola’s car, stretching the skirts out across the seats to ensure they didn’t wrinkle, passed Max off to Amanda (with copious kisses), and headed out to the Oak Bluffs ferry. There, they parked the car in the belly of the ferry and leaped out into the splendor of the sun on the top deck, where they waved goodbye to the island they now called home. 

“I made a list of everywhere I want to eat when we’re back in Boston,” Audrey said, just as the last of the island dissipated on the horizon line. She leafed through her pocket to grab her phone, on which she’d listed out their favorite burger, pizza, Mexican, and breakfast places in the city where she’d grown up. 

“You know that we’re only going to be in Boston for one night, right?” Lola said with a laugh. 

“I’ve prepared myself mentally for an eating marathon,” Audrey affirmed. 

“Okay. Let’s strategize. Today for lunch, we’ll do burgers and fries. Tomorrow, breakfast so that we can regroup after the gala. And before we leave Boston, we have to decide between Mexican and pizza. Or...” Lola’s eyes widened with memory. “That fantastic Chinese place. Remember? With the killer dumplings?” 

“Gosh, yes. I can’t believe I forgot that place,” Audrey returned, furrowing her brow. “Maybe we’ll have to have four meals tomorrow before we go.”

Lola puffed out her cheeks. “You know that I’m supposed to get married soon, right? And I’m in my forties now, which means my metabolism isn’t what it used to be?” 

Audrey waved a hand. “Go for a run this week,” she said flippantly.

“Spoken like a true twenty-one-year-old,” Lola shot back. “Talk to me in twenty years.” 

“Does this mean you don’t want to eat four meals tomorrow?” Audrey asked with a sneaky smile.

“No. Of course, I want that,” Lola returned. “I just want to complain about it a little bit beforehand, that’s all.”

“Fair enough.”

The drive from Woods Hole to Boston took about an hour and forty-five minutes, during which Audrey and Lola sang songs, swapped stories, and seemed unable to find even ten seconds of silence. Lola fumbled over lyrics, only for Audrey to pick up the slack— bringing them through genres of R&B, rock, indie, and pop. 

“Madonna did it better than anyone,” Audrey said with a sigh as the last bars of “Like a Prayer” diminished. 

“You’re so right. Hearing you say that makes me feel, finally, like I raised you right,” Lola teased. 

“Finally?” 

“I was worried until right now,” Lola joked.

Audrey cackled and opened the front window to allow wind to breeze through her hair. It caught Lola’s, whipping strands over her eyes and across her cheeks. 

“It’s funny,” Audrey murmured when the first signs for Boston appeared on the side of the road. “Max will never know Boston the way I know Boston. It makes me sad a little bit.”

“You’re a true Bostonian through and through,” Lola affirmed. “Just like I always wanted to be.” Lola’s throat tightened as she added, “But there’s no reason that you couldn’t build a life here again. Especially if the island starts to feel too small for you. I remember that feeling when I was seventeen, aching to get off the island as fast as I could and go build my own life.”

Audrey’s cheeks burned. “I recently just told you how angry I would be if Amanda moved out of the Sheridan House. Imagine how mad she’d be if I actually left the island.”

“The only sure thing in this life is change,” Lola murmured. 

“I just want to hold onto this reality a little bit longer,” Audrey whispered. “I want Max to be one for another five years. I want Amanda and I to stay up till one in the morning talking about anything and everything as the waves come in from the Sound. I want Grandpa to snore so loudly that we hear it through his bedroom door.”

Lola was wordless after that, falling into the poetry of Audrey’s words. She could chart the loss of the future based on the losses in her past— her mother, her childhood, Audrey’s father. Every loss paved the way for future beauty, but it was often difficult to know how to make space for whatever was next. 

“Let’s drive by our first few apartments, huh?” Lola suggested, tilting her head knowingly toward Audrey. “Let’s take a walk down memory lane a little bit.”

Audrey puffed out her lips. “Gosh. I’m really going to need all this comfort food this weekend, aren’t I?” 

The first apartment that Lola had ever taken little Audrey back to had been no more than a studio with enough space for a bed, a crib, a little table that had doubled for food and for writing, and a coatrack upon which Lola had hung her only coat. Lola had very clear memories of pacing through the night with baby Audrey in her arms, staring out at the darkness of the night and wondering if she would ever “make it” in any real way. 

Outside the apartment building, Audrey and Lola were wordless for a long time, watching as the current residents came and went. Most of them were dressed shabbily and were in their early to mid-twenties, en route to achieving their dreams, just as Lola had been. One woman in particular staggered forward with a baby carrier, talking on the phone with a strained expression. 

“She’s so tired,” Lola murmured. “I can feel it. She’s like a mirror image of me all those years ago.”

“I can empathize with the baby in the carrier,” Audrey tried to joke. “She just wants to scream.” 

“Oh, yes. If she’s anything like you, that’s true for sure.” Lola laughed and traced a strand of hair around her ear. She then pointed to the top-right balcony, which was no more than a foot away from the wall. “Valerie and Jenny used to come over and hang out on the balcony while you and I stayed in the shade of the apartment. They thought I was crazy, having a baby so young. But they doted on you, babysitting when I really needed a break or had to chase a story. In so many ways, I never could have become the woman I am without them, now that I look back.”

Lola trailed off contemplatively, feeling Audrey’s eyes burning with curiosity. 

“Why don’t you just tell this story back to them the same way?” Audrey suggested. “I can feel how much they matter to you. Maybe that’s all they need to hear.”

Lola started the engine again, suddenly anxious to get away from this apartment and its festering memories. Audrey re-buckled her seatbelt with a click as they drove back into traffic, easing toward the hotel they’d decided on for the evening. 

Once in the hotel room, Audrey and Lola hung their dresses in the closet, freshened up, and headed out for a mid-afternoon lunch that consisted of burgers, fries, onion rings, and milkshakes at their previous favorite burger place, called simply “Robbie’s.” Together, they sat out in front of the burger place, crunching on greasy fries and watching the Bostonians strut up and down the sidewalk with intense purpose. Years ago, Lola and Audrey had sat outside that same restaurant, but as different versions of themselves, Audrey often covered in ketchup and mustard and grease, a big smile across her cheeks. 

Now, a much different Audrey sat across from Lola, using a napkin of all things as she chatted to Lola about a current journalism story she worked on for the Penn State University newspaper, which she’d agreed to work at part-time from a distance over the summer months. Lola gave what advice she could yet still found herself amazed at the inner workings of Audrey’s mind. She seemed cleverer, more put-together, and more creative than Lola had ever been— even on her sharpest day. 

As Audrey took furious notes in her notebook, Lola selected one of the last French fries and chewed at the end of it, watching as a flock of pigeons landed on the nearby sidewalk.

“Good thing your grandfather doesn’t live in a city,” she said. “All he’d have to watch are the silly pigeons.” 

“Hmm?” Audrey asked distractedly.

“Nothing, honey.” Lola lifted her hair with a wave of her hand and then allowed it to drop languidly down her back. 

After a long afternoon of wandering through Boston and working off their burgers, Lola and Audrey returned to the hotel to prepare for the gala. As Audrey took a shower, Lola rubbed lotion across her legs, her stomach, and her arms, dressed only in a bra and underwear and gazing out the window. 

It seemed that every street across Boston sizzled with memories of Jenny, Valerie, and Lola from the old days. Lola only had to close her eyes for a split second before images of those long-lost days washed over her. Valerie’s laughter had been so infectious, making both Jenny and Lola erupt with giggles of their own. 

Before she knew what she’d done, Lola grabbed her phone and texted Valerie.

LOLA: Hey Val. I’m in Boston. Can we talk? 

She blinked at the text for a long time, wondering if she should take it back. But before she could decide one way or the other, Audrey emerged from the bathroom, bringing with her a cloud of steam and the sudden, uproarious desire to listen to music loudly as they did their makeup. 

“Let’s get this party started!” Audrey cried. 

Together, Audrey and Lola spread out their makeup brushes, their pallets of eyeshadow, their long-winged mascara brushes, and their perfume. Audrey flicked through her Spotify to find the perfect playlist, something she’d called “GOING OUT.” 

“How do you do your eyeliner?” Lola asked, watching as Audrey drew a large wing out from the side of her eye and darkened it into a thick swoop. 

“You want a lesson?” Audrey asked, her eyes glittering. “It would really change things up between us, wouldn’t it? You used to teach me everything I knew about makeup.” 

Slowly, with all the patience of the mother she now was, Audrey showed Lola how to draw a wing out from her eye with a steady hand. Lola finished it out and blinked at herself in the mirror, fascinated with the new look. 

“You can say it,” Audrey teased. “You can tell me I’m brilliant. Come on.”

Lola laughed. “I would give you a compliment every minute of the day if I could, my beautiful and talented daughter.” 

Audrey waved a hand. “Too much! As a journalist, you have to know when to hold back. You should know that, right? You are the recipient of the certificate of excellence at tonight’s journalism gala.” 

Lola’s eyes widened as the realization hit her all over again. This is really my life. 

As they finished getting ready, Tommy called to wish Lola good luck. 

“Hi, baby.” His voice was so textured and gritty over the phone, reminding Lola of a handsome action star in a bad movie. 

“Hi, Tommy.” Lola dropped herself on the edge of the bed as Audrey puffed herself with a bit of perfume. “We’ve had the loveliest day together.” 

“Uh oh. With you two up to your own devices, I can only imagine what that means,” Tommy returned, his voice sounding playful. 

“What on earth are you talking about?” Lola’s smile stretched from ear to ear.

“Everyone knows you don’t let Lola and Audrey spend the day together without a chaperone,” Tommy quipped. 

“I’ll have you know that we only destroyed one-half of the city today,” Lola sassed. 

“I can hear the sirens from here,” Tommy replied. 

Lola dropped herself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, her heart swelling with love for this man— a man who finally understood her. 

“Have a wonderful time tonight, Lola,” Tommy said. “You deserve all the accolades in the world. I’m glad to see that people are finally paying attention.”

“I love you,” Lola breathed. “Thank you. I can’t wait to celebrate with you back on the island.”

“I’ll be here,” Tommy quipped. “Just like I always am, these days. Surprising myself day after day with my domesticity.”

Lola giggled. “Domesticity looks good on you, my handsome sailor.” 

“I think so, too.”