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Amanda sat on the back porch of the Sheridan House with little Mia in her arms, watching the waves as they coursed along the private beach, glittering with the promise of a brand-new day. Mia slept beautifully, her eyes tilting left and right beneath her eyelids and her right hand in a fist. At nearly six months old, Mia had become very animated lately, babbling nondescript words and presenting a personality that was quite different from Max’s yet addictive for all members of the Sheridan clan. To Amanda, who found herself, craving babies of her own more and more, these moments alone with Mia were treasured. It allowed her to peer into the future and see herself doing just this, her heart enormous with love for her own child.
Would it be Sam’s child? Only time would tell.
Down below along the beach, Lola burst forth in running gear. She flung her tennis shoes back along the sand and stepped into the waves, her chin lifted toward the horizon. Amanda had never in her life seen Lola exercise on purpose, and the sight was as captivating as it was alarming. What had gotten into her?
Susan stepped out of the kitchen area with a mug of coffee lifted. “What’s gotten into Lola?”
“I saw her this morning when I woke up to do yoga,” Amanda offered. “But that was over an hour ago. Has she been running this whole time?”
“Maybe this is the married version of Lola,” Susan quipped. “Next thing we know, she’ll be asking us to make her green smoothies and meditate with her on the beach.”
“Likely,” Amanda offered sarcastically.
“Who wants a mimosa?” Christine called from the kitchen, where she’d begun to brew up supplies for their wedding preparation schedule. Everyone knew that weddings were better when they glittered with mimosas.
“The hairstylists will be here in about twenty minutes,” Susan offered. “Lola needs to shower, like, ASAP.”
Down below, Lola grabbed her tennis shoes and sprung up the hill between the beach and the Sheridan House. When she reached the base of the porch, she lifted her eyes toward Susan and Amanda. There was something off about her, something Amanda couldn’t fully place. Was she having doubts about her wedding? Was this what Chris had gone through hours before he’d bailed on Amanda at the altar?
“Did I hear mimosas?” Lola said finally, forcing a smile.
“You did.” Christine stepped out with a glowing orange glass and a strawberry stabbed across the side. “First one’s for the bride, of course.”
Lola hustled up the steps for the mimosa. Her legs shone with sweat.
“Have you been running?” Christine demanded doubtfully. “Audrey couldn’t figure out where you’d gone.”
“Mom. Are you sick? Maybe her nerves have taken over?” Audrey called from within, where she fed Max with a purple plastic spoon.
Lola laughed good-naturedly and sipped the mimosa, her eyes closed. There was a shockwave around her, as though nobody could reach out and touch her. After she sipped, she stepped into the shadows of the Sheridan House to greet Audrey and Max, leaving Christine, Amanda, Susan, and Mia on the porch. Christine arched her brow with confusion.
“What happened?” Susan mouthed.
But very soon after Lola’s return from her strange run, time forced them forward. The three hairstylists they’d hired arrived and set to work on Audrey, Amanda, and Christine while Susan watched Max and kept tabs on Mia. Lola returned from her shower a little while later, sheepish but mostly back to normal. Audrey demanded that they play music and came up with silly conversation topics, things like:
“If you could marry any celebrity in the world, who would it be?”
And, “If money wasn’t a problem, who would you get to design your wedding dress?”
And, “Susan, which wedding did you like the most? The one to Richard, or the one to Scott?”
To this, Susan blushed and glanced toward the ground. “I think I knew, in my heart of hearts, that Richard wasn’t ‘the one’ for me. But gosh, that wedding was a blast. Both of my children had already been born, and if I remember correctly, Jake revealed himself to be one heck of a dancer at that wedding. Everyone ate up his skills.”
“He and Kristen are still coming, aren’t they?” Lola asked.
“They got here last night,” Susan affirmed. “I stopped by the Sunrise Cove Inn on my way back from the rehearsal dinner to say hello. The twins were out like a light, so I have to play catch-up on my grandma time today and tomorrow. Both Jake and Kristen need to get back to Newark by Monday, unfortunately.”
“They should really come and spend some real-time here on the Vineyard,” Amanda offered. “They’d love it.”
“I mentioned that I could take the twins for a week or two this summer, as well,” Susan said. “While Jake and Steph go on some sort of vacation together. God knows they need it, after the hell they went through during the early days of having the twins.”
“One at a time is enough,” Christine murmured, glancing over at Mia’s sleep monitor.
“I think they’ve blocked out the majority of the painful memories at this point,” Susan said with a laugh.
“Still can’t believe you wanted to move in with them after the divorce,” Amanda chided. “Can you imagine where your life would be? You’d be knitting little sweaters, making iced tea, and gossiping about the neighbors.”
“I’d still like a knitted sweater, Susie,” Lola joked. “No matter how many criminal cases you take this year. Get ready to knit!”
Susan laughed as she stretched her hand over her newly curled up-do. Amanda’s heart surged with love for her mother, her favorite person in the world— the woman she most wanted to become when she was younger. She’d watched her overcome so much throughout her forties.
What awaits me as I get older?
Cancer? Divorce? Sorrow? Loss?
Will I handle it with as much grace as Susan Sheridan?
Suddenly, Amanda heard herself ask something she’d never imagined she’d have enough strength to ask.
“What did you think of me when Chris left me at the altar?”
There was a strange moment of silence, during which the Sheridan clan eyed Amanda curiously, just as confused as she was that the question had come out.
“Someone left you at the altar, honey?” one of the hair stylists asked.
“Men can be so all over the place,” the other cooed. “You never know what they’re thinking because they don’t even know what they’re thinking. No self-reflection. No communication!”
“To be honest with you,” Audrey began, “I never liked the guy.”
Amanda laughed inwardly. Audrey had said the sentiment many times, but each time seemed lighter and less judgemental.
“I just really wanted to get married,” Amanda explained to the hairstylists.
“That can happen,” one of them offered. “I see it all the time in this line of work. Women feel this ticking clock and just flail around and pick the guy who’s closest to them.”
“I can tell you that I never did that,” Lola affirmed.
“Honey, that’s clear. Nobody has to get married once they hit forty,” another stylist joked. “Once you’re forty, you do it because you’re actually in love, I think. That’s my current theory, anyway.”
“I’d back up that theory,” another told them.
Susan crossed and uncrossed her eyes as confusion played out across her face. “I guess I’m the only one here who really saw your and Chris’s relationship up close.”
Amanda’s heart seized with a thousand little memories: the first time Chris had met Susan and worn a bright pink tie; the first time Susan had baked Chris a platter of cookies before his midterm; the time Chris and Amanda had picked Susan up from the airport, just a week or so after Richard’s affair with Penelope had come out.
“Amanda, you loved him. For a little while, I believe that you really loved him and that he really loved you. But sometimes, unfortunately, and for reasons none of us can fully understand, love doesn’t last,” Susan said finally.
“Ain’t it the truth,” one of the hairstylists said.
Amanda nodded, dropping her eyes to the ground.
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t allow yourself to try again,” Christine said knowingly, as though she could already feel the “meaning” behind Amanda’s question.
“And I think I know a gentleman who seems more than willing to try again with you,” Susan said, her eyes twinkling.
Upstairs, baby Mia cried out as she erupted from sleep. Amanda laughed as the cry seemed a direct link to her emotions. Somehow, we all must wake up to a brand-new day, get accustomed to our new surroundings, and continue to try, try again.