Olivia wound her way through occupied tables, following the bubbly young hostess who had greeted her at the door. Jake, who had made the reservations, was already seated and studying a dark red menu so intently, she wondered just how special the sushi was there. He didn’t even bother to look up when she sat and opened her own menu.
“I’m fine, thank you, and yourself?” She waited for a response, hoping her rib at being ignored was successful. She even raised an eyebrow, mocking the way he often did it to her. He didn’t notice.
“Hello, Olivia, how are you?” he said dryly, eyes still trained on the menu.
“I’ve been better. Not that you really care or anything.” She scanned the list of food and then realized it was pointless. She knew what she was going to have. It was what she always got when Jake insisted on sushi.
California rolls and miso soup.
“You still wigging out?” he asked. When she didn’t say anything, he finally closed his menu, rested his cheek in his hand, and looked at her. “You are, aren’t you?”
Olivia took in his perfectly styled hair, his fashionable eyeglasses he wore just for show, and his perfectly pressed dress shirt. His blond hair and white shirt contrasted nicely with his newly tanned skin. He almost…radiated. A sense of familiarity flooded her mind, nearly carrying her away, as she remembered the way Eve looked that night at the park.
“Yeah, you’re definitely wigging on me.”
She sipped her water and cleared her throat.
“Did you see her yesterday?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“And?”
“Everything was fine.” She gave the well-practiced smile she’d always used to convince everyone that she was fine. But lately she was having a hard time pulling it off. Especially with Jake.
“I call bullshit.”
“What do you want, Jake? Do you really want to hear how we could hardly look at one another? Or how we gave awkward, forced, polite smiles when our eyes did meet, or that the uncomfortableness between us was so heavy it was hard to breathe? Or how about how she spoke to me? Soft and quiet, like I was fragile and about to break. Which, I can only surmise, must also be the reason why she wouldn’t touch me. At all, Jake. Not even when she should have, like to help me stretch or spot me.”
“Sounds like she’s wigging out, too.”
“Yes, and it’s because of me. Because of all that stuff I said to her. I broke our agreement. And now she’s only continuing to see me because I practically begged her to and she’s being polite. Because that’s how Eve is. She’s nice.”
“Olivia, stop, take a breath. Rein your drama llama a little.”
“I can’t. I’m freaking out. I think about never seeing her again and I literally freak out. And, Jake, I’ve never freaked out before. I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Of course, you’ve never freaked out before. You want someone. You feel for someone. For the first time in your life. And did I forget to mention that she’s a woman? Sweetie, to be honest, I’m surprised you haven’t freaked the fuck out sooner. About any or all of it. Because it’s overwhelming, especially for someone who’s never experienced this kind of emotion before. And now you tack on your fear of losing her and everything she encompasses and you’re about two seconds away from a complete meltdown.”
“So, what do I do?”
“Well, for starters, you can breathe. In and out. Nice and slow.”
Olivia slowed her breathing, but it only made her dizzy. She still continued to try, though, really preferring not to pass out in a crowded restaurant.
“Okay, what else?”
“You can stop all the assuming.”
“Assuming?”
“Yes. You don’t know for sure what she’s thinking or feeling, or why she’s still training you. If you ask me, and oh yeah, silly me, you did, it sounds like she’s trying really hard to control herself around you. That means she has strong feelings for you, Olivia. She’s probably still helping you because she wants to and because she wants to be with you, too. My guess is, she doesn’t want to give up your time together either, so she’s being very careful not to fuck things up on her end.”
Her heart lifted.
Could that really be it?
She sipped more water and stared at the crowded bar in the distance as she seriously contemplated what he’d said. A woman with blond hair caught her attention and her eyes trailed downward to a tight black dress on a fit and tanned body.
No, it can’t be.
The woman turned and Olivia saw her profile.
It was Eve.
“Oh, my God.”
“What?” Jake followed her gaze and turned to look. “Do you know someone?”
“It’s her,” Olivia said, trying to suck in air.
Eve was sitting near the end of the bar, and for a brief moment, Olivia’s eyes were solely trained on her. She watched as Eve brought a glass to her lips and smiled just before taking a drink. Then she nodded and said something. Olivia didn’t want to. She didn’t. She was terrified at what she would see. But the need to know made her look to the person sitting next to her.
It was a woman. A very attractive woman.
No.
Please, no.
She was smaller in stature than Eve, with short, close-cropped auburn hair. Her dress was red and form-fitting, showing off a petite body. She laughed at something Eve said.
Olivia wanted to look away. Knew she should look away. But she was frozen, unable to even blink. Acid churned in her gut, like it was trying to eat right through her. Her heart was racing, like it was completely out of control, and a fierce heat rushed to her face as anger and hurt and betrayal began to build.
“I think you’re wrong about Eve and her intentions with me,” she said.
“What makes you say that?” He turned again to look at the bar.
Olivia stared at Eve and her companion so hard she thought for sure they would feel it. But they kept chatting, oblivious to the hell coming to life inside her. Eve spoke again, and the woman laughed and this time rested her hand on Eve’s forearm, where it remained. Eve didn’t push it away.
Olivia felt the sting of tears and the tightening of her throat.
“Because she’s into someone else.” If words could take physical form, the ones she’d just spoken would’ve been sharp and jagged and designed to cause serious harm. She knew because they’d literally just torn her apart as they left her body.
“Who, her? The one in the red dress? Olivia, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. They’re probably just friends, meeting for a drink.”
“I would never wear a dress like that to meet with you,” she said. She looked down in disapproval at her black stretch capris and teal Henley top. She didn’t look anything like Eve or the woman in the red dress.
Her growing hell continued as Eve took another sip of her drink and glanced around at her surroundings. Olivia panicked and tried to lean to hide behind Jake. But Eve caught sight of her and she honed in and moved so fast, she had ditched her drink and was already crossing the restaurant toward them before Olivia could even speak.
“Olivia, hi,” Eve said, coming to stand next to them.
Olivia was staring at the table, willing herself to disappear.
“Hi,” she said, glancing at her fleetingly. Eve was smiling at her like she was happy to see her and she looked sincere. She also looked drop-dead gorgeous in the black designer dress and full makeup. She smiled at Jake and stuck out her hand.
“Hi, I’m Eve,” she said, shaking his hand.
“I’m Jake,” he said, giving Olivia a look that told her she was being rude. “A friend.”
Eve looked back to Olivia. “It’s a nice surprise to see you here,” she said.
“Yes, it’s been a surprise for me, too.”
Jake looked up at Eve and gestured with his thumb toward the bar. “Are you here with a friend, as well? Would you two like to join us?”
Olivia felt her eyes widen and she clamped her jaw, wanting to ask him through her clenched teeth what the hell he was doing. Jake noticed but he didn’t seem to care.
“Actually,” Eve said. “I haven’t known her for very long. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“Oh,” Jake said. “More like a date-type thing.” He glanced at Olivia, and his concern for her was obvious.
Olivia looked down at the table again, unable to even glimpse at Eve as she answered.
“Uh, I’m not really sure what you would call it,” Eve said. Her nervousness was palpable and very unusual for her, which, to Olivia, made the fact that she was on a date all the more evident.
Someone kill me. Please, just put me out of my misery.
Eve was doing her very best to downplay the whole thing. But Olivia wasn’t sure if that was because she was trying not to hurt her or because she felt guilty. At the moment, it seemed like it was the latter.
“Well, I don’t want to take up anymore of your time,” Eve said. Olivia could feel her focusing on her, waiting for her to engage, but Olivia didn’t dare.
Instead, she stood and slung her purse over her shoulder.
Jake stood along with her. He appeared stricken. She almost laughed, because that had been her mere seconds ago, when she’d first realized Eve was with a woman and then again when Eve bumbled over herself, trying to deny that she was on a date.
Well, she was no longer stricken. Not anymore.
“Don’t worry about taking up our time,” Olivia said. She glanced at Jake. “I’m going home. I’m not hungry.” Then she looked back to Eve but didn’t bother with her well-practiced “I’m fine” smile. “Eve, it was nice to see you. I hope you enjoy your evening.”
She turned away just as a crestfallen look came over Eve, leading her to wonder once again if the motive for her trying to hide her date from her was concern or guilt. She didn’t stick around to find out.
She hurried from the restaurant and nearly ran through the parking lot to her car. She fumbled with the door, climbed inside, and burst into tears as she started her engine. The new inner resolve she was growing accustomed to was totally disintegrating now. She was, as Jake would put it, in full-on meltdown mode. Her Prius jerked into reverse and she peeled away leaving Eve and the mystery woman behind.
Her eviscerated heart, however, which she wished she could’ve left behind along with Eve and her date, remained inside her, beating unbearable pain into her veins.