MY BODY SLIDES THROUGH the window with silent ease.
It’s dark and eerily silent. My feet barely touch the floor as I move across the room and slip beneath the covers. I hardly had the strength to get out of bed earlier and yet, the urge to see her was so strong, it overcame everything else. I needed to see her. To be close.
I shouldn’t have done that. Let myself in. Got close to her. She knows I was there. She saw me.
I wanted her to.
Sweat breaks out across my forehead. Vampires don’t sweat. Or do they? Honestly, I’m feeling lost on what to believe at this point.
I must be going mad – like Theo warned me I might. This craving, desperate feeling to see her is making me feel panicked. It’s not normal and it’s not right.
The door obnoxiously bangs open. Light filters into the room and I glance up to see Theo striding in. With the expression on his face, I assume he knows I left. He drags the chair to the side of the bed and collapses down onto it.
‘Did you try to feed?’ he asks, and I feel a small moment of relief that he doesn’t seem to know about my recent trip.
The urge to feed was so strong it was almost violent when I visited Raya. It took every drop of self-control not to. It’s her that I want. I know that now. Her blood has ruined everything. I have no idea why.
‘No,’ I answer. My voice is weak. My breathing is shallow and each breath comes out in an audible gasp. If I don’t feed in the next twenty-four hours, I really will snap. And I might not come back from it. Maybe that’s okay. Dying wouldn’t be the worst thing. I’ve been bored and lonely for years. Maybe it’s a better option than being here, hating who I am. What I am.
‘I spoke with my friend,’ Theo says, his frown starting to look like a permanent addition to his face.
‘What did he say?’ I ask curiously.
Theo runs a hand roughly over his face. ‘I don’t know what to think about it.’
‘Tell me, Theo.’
‘He said you might have formed a bond. With the girl,’ he says a little reluctantly.
Alarmed, I jolt upright. ‘What?’
He nods, wincing. ‘It’s rare. Almost unheard of. But it’s possible.’
‘A bond?’ I exclaim, incredulous, waves of shock coursing through my body at the thought of it.
‘He said it’s because of the way you are,’ Theo continues.
‘The way I am?’ I repeat with a slow blink, not understanding what he means.
‘Blood-sharing isn’t totally uncommon, but only older, stronger vampires tend to do it because the risks of killing the human or turning them is really high. Since you’re inexperienced, and a relatively new vampire, you didn’t have the skills required to not let things escalate.’ Narrowing his eyes, scrutinising me, he tilts his head. ‘He also said there has to be attraction or feelings there beforehand. Anything you care to tell me about that?’
Swallowing, I contemplate this. I have never had confidence in my skills with anything about being a vampire. I don’t trust myself not to go too far – despite never having lost control before – but I’ve always had the worry in the back of my mind that I would accidentally take a life. That’s why I always stick to blood bags.
Of course I knew I was attracted to her. I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on her. She intrigued me, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I had wanted to get to know someone. The moment I met her, she drew me in, although with the nature of being a vampire, it’s supposed to be the other way around.
When I say nothing, Theo seems to drop it.
‘The bond means you will do everything you can to protect her. She will consume your mind, body, and soul.’ He cringes at his own words as if they physically repulse him. ‘And it gets worse.’
‘What?’ I whisper, eyes widening.
‘She’s your one and only blood source. She dies, you die. That’s why your need to protect her will be so strong. Because without her you can’t feed.’ He shakes his head, bewildered. ‘Also, the answer as to why you can’t stomach any other blood.’
‘That’s . . . insane.’ Right now, my body is jittery, like I need to pace, but I feel so weak.
‘I know.’
‘Surely, it can’t be.’
‘It is true, Hunter. Look at you. You’re shaking, sweating, feeling sick. Unable to feed.’ He gestures toward my mess of a body. ‘Have you thought about her since the other night?’
‘Uncontrollably so.’ I sigh, the ache inside me growing more urgent as the minutes pass.
Theo exhales, raking his hands through his hair. ‘You should’ve left her to die. You knew she was beyond saving, but you brought her back from the dead, and even worse, took blood from her after bringing her back. Now you’ve formed this life and death bond, linking you to her.’
A bond. I haven’t ever heard of one. I never knew such a thing was possible. As much as I don’t want to admit it, it all makes sense. I knew she was on the brink of death. Once that line is crossed, it’s dangerous to try and turn someone, or save them. Things can go wrong and get complicated quickly. Yet, I risked it. I didn’t want her to die. I had only just met the girl, and yet, she had somehow gotten under my skin.
Theo curses. He stands, kicking the chair. It splinters into a hundred pieces on impact, skidding across the wooden floorboards.
‘Well. That’s just great,’ he snaps, throwing his hands up. ‘You know what this means?’
‘What?’ I dare to ask, peering up at him.
‘You now have a weakness,’ he says with a huff, always having the ability to make everything about himself. ‘Which is a huge fucking problem.’
Dressing and getting myself to campus takes three times longer than it should have. With these vampires attacking, and potentially coming after Theo, I need to be on my A-Game. I really shouldn’t be out in the open like this. I’m asking to be attacked. Or worse.
I need blood. More specifically, I need her blood. But I can’t just take it from her. It’s not just the bond that makes me want to make it as comfortable as possible for her. I don’t want to force her. This world is new to her, and after everything she went through, she most likely is terrified of vampires. Of me . . .
I would hate to scare her away. The thought of never seeing her again feels like my heart is being torn in two.
My skin prickles with awareness the moment she walks onto campus. I can feel her. Sense her. Listening, I hear the car doors close. Their soft footsteps as they walk up the stairs. The low murmur of conversation. Forcing myself to walk and appear human, I casually make my way through the small crowd that has also arrived a little earlier than necessary.
Forcing myself to relax, I take the long way, chanting over and over to keep it together and not lose control when I see her.
By the time I get to the courtyard, she’s seated at a table with a small crowd of people I recognise from some of my classes. Alex is introducing her, explaining how he met a few of them at the party. The party from hell that changed my life forever.
A vicious ache threads through my veins as I approach the table. Silence falls as I draw near. My shadow casts over her. The small breeze blows her long hair over her shoulder. The scent of her makes every inch of me feel like someone has lit it on fire.
‘Raya,’ I say, my voice coming out hoarse and deep. ‘Hi.’
A ripple of something shudders through her at the sound of my voice. She turns, looking up at me. I feel every pair of eyes ogling me, but I can’t pull my gaze from hers. She looks stunning. Her bag strap slips from her shoulder. A little too quickly, I reach for it and put it back over her shoulder.
‘Hi, Hunter,’ she says slowly, her eyes analysing me just as intensely as mine are hers.
‘How are you?’
‘Fine,’ she says a little curtly, looking like she is ready to bolt at any moment. ‘And you?’
Like death if he was a person.
‘Fine as well.’
‘Good,’ she replies, swallowing, the movement of her throat making me take a step closer.
‘Walk with me?’ I ask. ‘To class?’
A slight reluctance is visible on her face as she glances at her friend. Everyone is unashamedly gaping at the two of us. It must seem weird, I never engage with any other students, no matter how desperately they try, and neither of us seem to be able to stop staring at the other. As awkward as it feels – and as it should, after what we went through together – there is still a strange sense of calmness between us.
Inevitably, the tug between us is too strong for her to resist. Getting to her feet, she stands, and I immediately collect her textbooks. My temper is threatening to rear its ugly head at how delicately I need to approach this. It’s the lack of feeding. Being hungry always makes me the ugliest version of myself.
Her friend’s eyes are wide as he glances between the two of us. A touch of pink warms her cheeks and my hand twitches to reach out to her.
‘I’ll catch up with you later,’ she says to him before turning to the others with a pretty, warm smile on her face. ‘It was nice to meet you all.’
As she walks beside me, her arm brushes mine. The hitch of her breath fills my ears and I clench my fist so hard I break a finger. Wincing, I feel it reset itself after a few seconds.
‘Hi,’ she breathes, letting herself give in to the thread that is growing stronger between us as the moments pass. I feel relief like it’s a palpable thing.
‘Hi.’
Chewing her lip, she stares down at her feet awkwardly, neither of us really knowing what to say.
‘How can you walk during the day? Aren’t vampires meant to be creatures of the night?’ she asks, peering up at me. ‘I read in a book that you can walk in the day, but I don’t understand it.’
Lazily throwing a hand toward the dark sky, I shrug. ‘We pick gloomy places like this to live in. We can be out in the sun for a while, but it makes us weak and will eventually kill us if we don’t cover up. But this sort of day.’ I point to the dark storm clouds. ‘Perfect.’
‘Oh.’ She nods. ‘Makes sense.’
‘Look . . .’ I say, directing the conversation to where I need it to go, the hunger rising inside me, making it difficult to breathe. ‘Something has happened that I didn’t think was possible.’
‘Okay?’ She tenses a little more, eyes narrowing slightly.
‘When I healed you, I accidentally formed some sort of bond. Attachment, if you will.’ I explain. ‘It’s uncommon and practically unheard of, but somehow it happened. I’ve been doing some research and . . . well . . . it seems like we will form a bodyguard type situation.’ I fumble over my words, sounding like an idiot.
‘What?’ she frowns.
‘We blood-shared and since I’m not great at the whole being a vampire thing, I accidentally bonded with you.’
She blinks at me.
‘We are basically attached to each other. In tune with the other’s feelings,’ I try again, not really sure how to make her understand the severity of the situation, without freaking her out.
‘Accidentally bonded . . .’ She blinks, looking bewildered. ‘How—what—?’ She starts and stops her sentences a few times, trying to gather her thoughts. In the end, she blows out a breath, looking confused, and frustrated. ‘Honestly, this shouldn’t surprise me. Everything I’ve learnt has been wild so far.’
I don’t know what to say. Rubbing the back of my neck, I try to focus on her, and not think about the gnawing hunger that is rapidly increasing by the moment.
She nods. ‘I want to be around you. It’s like a hardcore craving I can’t kick. I think about you all the time. Dream about you . . .’ She blushes intensely, and I chew the inside of my cheek, trying not to reveal to her that I also have dreamed about her. She probably thinks she hallucinated seeing me out her window. ‘I thought it might have been some sort of after effect from drinking your blood.’
‘It’s not unusual for humans to get attached to vampires when blood is exchanged, because of the high and whatnot, but this is much more intense.’
She nods again. ‘I see.’
‘There’s another thing.’
Swallowing, she peers up at me. ‘What?’
‘You’re now my one and only blood source,’ I say quietly, in fear she might run away screaming at any moment. ‘Which means I haven’t fed for days and if I don’t soon, I might . . . snap . . . I guess you can say. And eventually, die.’
Her eyes widen and her hand flies to her chest, hovering over her heart, as if it hurt at the mention of my death. Looking down at her hand, she frowns, as if feeling conflicted and confused with her thoughts. I get how she’s feeling, since I am experiencing a similar thing myself.
‘Okay,’ she breathes. ‘The thought of you feeding on me scares me, but not as much as I thought it would.’
‘Because of the bond,’ I say.
‘Right.’ She jerks her chin a few times, trying to get a grip on everything I just dumped on her.
‘It’s keeping you calm.’
‘Makes sense.’
‘I’m sorry. I don’t often feed from humans unless I’m desperate. This is uncomfortable for me, too.’
She lifts a shoulder. ‘Okay. I’m guessing we need to do this now, then?’
Wincing, I nod. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s . . . fine.’
Ushering her into a secluded classroom, I pull down the blinds, and lock the door. She walks backward. Her bag slips from her shoulder as I advance on her, the air thickening around us as I draw nearer.
‘Will it hurt?’ she asks.
‘No,’ I murmur, standing so close, she has to tilt her head back to see me. Gently, I lift her onto the desk and stand between her legs. She gasps as I push her legs apart. I can’t help myself, I need her close. I never do this. If I have to drink from someone, it’s almost clinical, and I put as much distance between us as possible. But she isn’t just anyone. Leaning forward, I flatten my hands on the desk. ‘In fact, you will love it.’
Rolling her lips into her mouth, she gazes up at me in wonder.
Slowly, my hand travels up from her hip, tracing the delicate lines of her body. I twirl a dark piece of her hair around my finger before she shakes it behind her shoulders. I touch the violet streak. My mouth salivates at her proximity.
‘Ready?’ I whisper, pressing a soft kiss against her neck.
She shivers, her small fingers trailing down my chest, curling my shirt in her grasp.
‘Yes.’
My fangs slide out and she recoils, scrambling back, knocking her bag off the desk. In my weakened state, I stumble back in surprise, almost falling over my own feet.
‘No!’ she chokes out, tears welling in her eyes. I flinch at the terror in them, quickly backing away from her, my heart sinking in my chest. ‘I . . . can’t do this. I’m sorry.’ Trembling, she hastily gets to her feet, her face as white as paper.
Everything inside me burns. Every fibre of my being aches for her, and I clench my jaw, stepping further back.
‘Okay,’ I say slowly, hating how frail and fearful she looks. ‘I understand. It’s okay.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers, the tears racing down her cheeks now, shaking to the point I fear she is going to topple over.
I want to go to her, to cup her face in my hands, and wipe them away. I want to comfort her, and assure her I could never hurt her, and that the last thing I want is for her to be afraid of me, but I don’t. I can’t.
Unable to even look at her, I turn, fleeing the classroom, feeling dizzy and weak.
The thought of heading home fills me with dread. I’m honestly not sure I can even make it. Peering up at the building my next class is in, I force my legs to carry me there. Finding my usual seat, I collapse onto it, feeling lethargic and on the verge of blacking out. I just need to sit for a little bit, then I’ll be fine.
Leaning back in my seat, I sink down into it, trying to keep my eyes open as the lecture hall steadily fills. Biting my tongue, I feel the coppery taste of blood. I don’t look at her as she walks toward the front, dropping down into a random seat.
She didn’t sit beside me like she usually does.
She’s everywhere – when I inhale, when my eyes are open, even when they aren’t. Clenching my teeth, I try to focus on anything but her.
The class crawls by painfully slow. My vision is swimming each time I try to take notes. The professor’s words go in one ear and out the other. The pen in my hand tips from my grasp, rolling across the table, falling to the floor. I don’t even have the energy to pick it up.
When it is finished, I don’t trust myself to stand, so I wait for everyone to leave. Raya glances up at me, a look of concern on her face.
When we are the last two left, she takes a hesitant step toward me. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah,’ I reply, my voice not sounding like my own.
With a great deal of effort, I push to my feet, and the world tips. Collapsing on the floor, I land with a heavy thud. Rolling onto my back, I try to gather my bearings, but blackness borders my vision.
‘Hunter!’ Her scent fills my nostrils. A warm, flowery sweetness that makes my mouth water. ‘Oh my God.’ Her small hands grip my arms as she tries to shake me. ‘What can I do?’
My eyes are too heavy now. I can barely keep them open.
‘If I do this,’ she whispers, her face dipping in and out of focus as she looks down at me. ‘Promise me you will help me find out answers and tell me what you know.’
I make a small sound of agreement.
‘Promise me, Hunter,’ she insists.
‘Promise,’ I reply, my voice barely a whisper.
Taking a deep breath, she nods. Laying on her side, she flicks her hair back behind her ear. She is shaking as she inches closer to me, her heartbeat hammering in my ears.
‘Okay,’ she says, more to herself than me. ‘Let’s do this.’
Slowly, I drag her toward me and sink into her soft flesh in one fluid movement. We both moan. Her grip on me tightens as the explosion of her taste fills my mouth. It is more pleasurable than anything I have experienced. Holding her tighter to me, I drink long and hard for a few moments, feeling drunk off the high of her. My fangs retract with a harsh snap, as if the bond has complete control over my willpower.
Her eyes flutter closed as she presses her forehead into my shoulder. Curling my arm around her, I hug her to myself, relishing in the closeness. Kissing her hair, I breathe her in, feeling warmth spread over me. I haven’t felt warmth like this since before I was turned.
Leaning away from her, I drag the back of my hand across my mouth. Her blood is addictive and the need to keep drinking is overwhelming. Within seconds, I feel like my old self again. Fit, strong, healthy. My vision sharpens on her pretty heart-shaped face.
‘Thank you for trusting me.’ She watches me hesitantly. I don’t want her to be scared of me. I lift the corners of my mouth into what I hope is a light-hearted smile. ‘You taste divine.’
She laughs quietly, and my smile becomes more genuine at the sound of it.
‘That wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be.’
Leaping to my feet, I offer her my hand, which she takes and stands. She sways for a moment, and I look at her in concern, lightly holding her shoulder with my free hand to keep her steady.
I nick the skin on my thumb and offer it to her. She stares at it, then at me, and back to it.
‘A little bit won’t be enough to make you high. It will make you feel better.’
Slowly, she leans in, keeping her eyes on mine. She slowly sucks my thumb and I groan at the feel of her lips on my skin. Blood rushes to my groin, and I press myself against her involuntarily. She sucks it harder and deeper than necessary, as if playing with me, having quickly lost her fear, the high replacing it with something much more teasing and light.
‘More,’ I moan, surprised when the word falls from my lips.
Circling her tongue around the end of my thumb, she steps back, her lips making a popping sound as she releases me.
She smiles up at me, her dark lashes framing those pretty eyes that invaded my dreams all night.
This girl will be the death of me.