IT’S HARD TO PROCESS the strange numbness that spreads through my body like cool water flowing over cracked riverbeds. It was such a contrast after spending what felt like an eon writhing and twisting in pain. Blackness consumed me entirely, and I wonder how many minutes, hours, or possibly days had passed while the pain engulfed me. A pain like no other. All consuming. A pain that one simply could not survive. And yet . . . here I am. Feeling stronger and better than ever.
I hear everything, even though the room around me is deadly silent. Every movement, every breath, the wind outside, the rustling leaves on trees, low conversations, car engines rumbling, tires spinning over loose gravel on the road . . . it’s endless.
My skin, which had felt hotter than the sun during the transition, now feels like cool water on a humid day. Light, free, smooth. Lifting my hands, I stare at them as though seeing them for the first time. It’s so surreal – everything looks the same, but different.
‘Are you okay to stand?’ Hunter asks, his voice just as comforting as it always has been, though now I hear the subtle variations in his tone and the way his breath hitches in the back of his throat. Deep and soothing, like it was designed just for my ears.
Cora shifts her weight from one foot to the other, capturing my attention. She offers me a wan smile.
Turning so that my eyes meet Hunter’s, I nod once. I’ve barely thought of getting to my feet before I’m suddenly standing. I sway for a moment with the rush, my mouth agape at the speed I just moved at. It was one thing to see Hunter and the others move that fast, but quite another to do it myself.
Hunter chuckles, steadying me. ‘The speed is something you need to get used to.’
While his touch no longer feels like a flame flickering against my skin, I can still feel the intensity of the chemistry between us. Though I can’t tell if we are still bonded, the connection between us doesn’t feel the same as it once did, but my heart still sings at his proximity and having him close makes me breathe easier.
He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and with a nod, I look around. My senses are sharper. Heightened. Like nothing I could have imagined. A coppery smell burns its way through me, making my throat gnaw in hunger.
Blood.
Snapping my head around, locating the source, the all-consuming hunger is suddenly overshadowed with a harrowing realisation.
‘No!’ I sob, rushing toward Alex and collapsing on my knees. My hands flit fervently over his pale, unbreathing body. My scream echoes around the room as I cry over him, reaching for his limp arms, before grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. ‘No, no, no!’
Tears run down my face as I wail, and though I’m no longer human, I feel my heart cleave in half at the sight before me.
My best friend.
Dead.
‘What happened?’ I gasp through harsh breaths. ‘Who did this?’ I scream, my throat feeling raw as I do.
A distinct, palpable silence meets me. Twisting, I turn to face Hunter and Cora, my fangs bursting out from my gums painfully and harshly as a low whine pours out from my body. Hunter offers me a sad, withdrawn look, which he then directs to his feet. When my eyes turn to Cora, I see the truth of what happened all over her face. I inhale sharply and it hurts, as though an icy blade is embedded in my heart.
‘It was you,’ I whisper.
‘I didn’t have a choice,’ she says, her eyes filling with tears as she stares at me pleadingly.
‘There is always a choice.’
Cora doesn’t attempt to wipe the tears away as her expression changes to one of indifference.
‘Fine,’ she whispers, eyes swiftly turning to meet mine. ‘I chose you. I chose my sister over her friend.’
The anger whooshes out of me and I crumble to the floor. The burning sensation rips through me once more and I glance down, seeing the blood on my hands.
‘Easy,’ Hunter says, approaching me cautiously. ‘It’s okay. Let me help you wash it off.’
My fangs ache. The desire for blood courses through me until it is all I can think about. Hunter guides me to my feet and directs me to the sink where he bathes my hands. I’m hypnotised by the red swirling with the water before disappearing down the sink. My chest is heaving as I struggle for some semblance of control.
I will not touch him. Not Alex.
‘I will look after Alex, you don’t need to worry,’ Hunter murmurs. ‘I’ll make sure everything is done right.’
Numbly, I nod, barely processing his words, my mind buzzing with blood hunger and everything that is happening. It all feels like too much.
As though sensing my struggle, Hunter places his hand on my arm, and I notice his skin doesn’t have the same coldness to it that it usually does. His skin feels smooth, like silk, and a totally normal temperature. I suppose we are the same now in basically every way.
Without needing to look up, I hear Cora as she enters the room and hovers against the wall. Again, I’m amazed at the extent of my new abilities. Turning the tap off, I pivot around to face my sister. She’s looking like she has no idea what to do or how to act right now, and to be honest, I have no idea either. Her dark eyes – now once again the exact same as mine – survey me, like she is seeing me for the first time. I guess in many ways, she is.
I feel like I can’t stand still and I move to walk back into the other room. There is absolutely no lag in movement or effort in anything I do. I’m smooth and fluid, like a well-oiled machine. Momentarily distracted, I turn a few times, inspecting my skin as the light and shadows move across it.
‘We need to go,’ Hunter’s voice is soft. Startled, I look at him, his bare chest gleams under the florescent light of the kitchen as his shirt is more ripped than not, dangling off of him in ragged strips. ‘We aren’t safe here.’
‘I can’t leave him,’ I whisper, as I exit the kitchen and hurry back to Alex’s side, disgusted that I allowed myself to become distracted by my transition when he gave his life for it.
‘He can’t come with us,’ Cora says.
Slowly, I swing my eyes to her, narrowing them into slits. She steps back, holding her hands out.
‘I’m just saying what he is thinking, Raya.’
Hunter moves around me, toward Alex, lifting him, and throwing his body over his shoulder. My stomach twists at the sight of Alex – lifeless – hanging limply and bobbing in a completely inhuman way with each of Hunter’s steps.
‘Come on, legata una,’ Hunter murmurs, grazing his finger over my hair, his touch as tender and light as a feather’s caress. ‘Let’s go.’
As much as I wanted to sleep the day away in bed grieving the loss of Alex, the severe ache in my throat forces me from the room I had been cooped up in for hours.
Cora left to go get supplies but hasn’t returned. I don’t think she will be back for a while, after the way things are between us. Tense and awkward. I need time to process everything.
After all the time I spent trying to find her, now that I have, I sort of feel lost. It’s bizarre. I guess I lived in a state of denial that she didn’t really choose this life, but now that I know she did . . .
A huge part of me is angry. So angry, I feel the blood boil inside me. And then the other part of me feels helplessly sorry for her and what she has been through. There are so many emotions tangled within me right now, my emotions are heightened, and I feel like a total mess.
With everything else happening to my body, I can’t handle trying to sort out my feelings toward her right now. I need to work out how to function, and I also need a distraction, because every time I close my eyes I see Alex’s lifeless eyes and it breaks my heart again and again.
The pain. It’s too much.
My head hurts.
My heart hurts.
Everything fucking hurts.
I shake it off, deciding to deal with all of this later.
Wandering into the living room of the small Airbnb we secured last minute in a small town I had never heard of, Hunter is seated on the lounge, a book in his hand. Snapping it shut, he leaves it forgotten on the coffee table as he moves toward me, his hand reaching out, offering me the comfort I am so desperately seeking. I take his hand and lean into him, burying my face into his chest. His arms wrap around me, tight and secure, the promise of safety spreading through my body.
‘What are you feeling?’ he asks, stroking my hair.
‘Everything,’ I whisper. ‘It’s . . . a lot.’
‘It is,’ he agrees, threading his fingers through the dark strands of my hair, running them softly through the ends. ‘I’m sorry it all happened this way.’
With a sigh, I lean back and reach up, kissing the corner of his mouth.
‘I’m so glad nothing happened to you.’
Pressing his forehead to mine, he places his hands either side of my face. ‘Are you okay?’ he asks.
‘I’m not sure. Yes and no.’
‘How are you feeling, in regard to the change?’
‘Deliriously hungry,’ I confess. ‘And sick at the thought of that.’
He nods, and I know he understands completely. ‘Yeah. That’s how I felt, too. But then you taste the blood and it overrides everything.’
‘I don’t want to hurt anyone,’ I murmur, shaking my head. ‘I can’t hurt anyone.’
‘You won’t. I won’t let you, I promise. I’ve got you.’
Releasing me, he strides to the kitchen, and withdraws a blood bag from the fridge. My fangs snap out with a distinct pop as the smell overwhelms me. Passing it to me, he lets me open it. I glance up at him and he gives me an encouraging nod. Raising it to my lips, I take a long sip. The flavour is intense as it fills my mouth. Sweet, delicious, and warm, soothing the fierce ache instantly.
‘Oh my God,’ I moan, the blood trickling down my chin as I savour the taste. ‘This is incredible.’
Hunter grins. ‘Yeah. It is.’
‘How much can I have?’
Lightly, Hunter sweeps my hair back, his thumb trailing down the side of my face. ‘Take it all, love.’
Taking greedy gulps of blood, our eyes stay locked on each other as a tingle of desire shoots through me.
I savour the last drop from the bag and smear the blood across my finger. Hunter leans forward, his tongue dragging across my skin. I shiver as a surge of electricity shoots through me.
A part of me was scared we would lose the bond if I turned. That we may realise that our feelings for each other weren’t truly genuine. But here, right now, I can say with absolute certainty that what Hunter and I have is pure and completely untamed.
I love him with every fibre of my being.
Gently placing my hands either side of his face, I stare into his eyes, eyes that perfectly match my own now.
‘I love you,’ I whisper. ‘I love you so much, it hurts.’
He smiles his warm, beautiful smile. ‘I love you, legata una. More than anything in this world. Beyond Heaven – or Hell. I’d turn a million times over if it meant meeting you,’ he whispers, kissing me tenderly. ‘If it meant becoming us.’
Hunter wraps his hand around the back of my neck as he drags me closer to him. He runs his tongue over my lips, taking the last remnants of blood, before he dives toward my mouth.
We crash toward the wall, the paintings clattering to the hardwood floor. I groan, tearing the remnants of his shirt from him, baring his chest to me. My hands roam wildly over his hard muscles. Hunter lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he leaves feverish kisses down my neck. His fangs slide into my neck as he bites me and a ripple of desire washes over me in surprised delight at the feeling.
Sliding my hands down his neck, my own fangs drop, as I bite into the soft part of skin between his shoulder and neck. Our collective moans fill the room as we both drink from each other while shamelessly grinding our bodies together.
When we both pull back, he takes my face between his hands and kisses me harder than he ever has. A possessive, toe-curling kiss that sends waves of yearning through me. Energy crackles through my entire body in a way I have never experienced before.
Considering the fact I’m not meant to tell hot from cold, I still can’t deny the fiery burn that spreads outwards from everywhere his mouth and hands touch.
My hands squeeze and caress every hard line of his body, exploring the way he feels – so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time with my new heightened senses.
I crave him. All of him.
‘I love you, Raya.’ His voice is rough and deep, making me shiver and squirm in his hold.
My gaze hooks onto his and I swallow, feeling breathless and overwhelmed with the fact that he still affects me so much, even though I do not breathe like a human anymore, and my heart no longer beats. He makes it feel like it does.
‘I love you more.’
‘Impossible,’ he whispers, his hand travelling down my side. He pushes the fabric of my skirt up, his thumb making invisible patterns on my pelvic bone. Without warning, Hunter gives an expert flick of his hand, and my underwear shreds off me. I gasp as he thrusts first one finger and then another inside me, making me moan and whimper his name as his fingers curl, reaching the exact spot I need them to.
Liquid fire shoots through every limb as I grind against his hand. His other hand reaches around, slapping my bare ass cheek with a distinct smack, making me gasp with surprise. Shockwaves of pleasure flow through me.
‘Me and you. Forever.’ His eyes bore into mine with unparalleled promise.
‘Forever.’
My hands glide greedily over his torso before landing on the bulge of his biceps. Desire swells in every part of my body, a new hunger emerging.
I’m finally strong. I can be the one in charge.
Smirking a little, I curl my fingers, caging his face in my hand as I yank his mouth to mine in a punishing kiss that makes him growl.
I release his face and slam my palms against his chest, sending him sprawling onto his back. He lets out a sound of surprise at my strength. I don’t give him the chance to second guess it as I straddle him, pinning his arms above his head. He smiles at me. The kind of smile that has my insides melting.
My God, he still makes me feel insane.
‘Thank you,’ I whisper, leaning down and brushing my lips against his. ‘For saving me.’
Resting his hands on my hips, his grip on them tightens deliciously. ‘You’re the one who saved me, legata una.’
Raising my hips, and in one quick tug, I yank his pants down his thighs. My fangs lengthen a little painfully at the sight of his arousal.
‘Take it, legata una,’ he murmurs, scraping his nails down my bare thighs, the pressure drawing blood, increasing the ache in my core. ‘Take every inch and claim me as I have claimed you.’
Dragging my nails down his chest, he hisses as I draw blood. I hold his gaze as I slowly sink onto his long, hard length, and groan at the feel of him stretching me. He releases another rough growl, his eyes closing briefly as I seat him deep inside of me.
Grinding against him, I rock and rotate my hips in a slow, sensual way that has him panting and writhing beneath me. His hands spring forward from their pinned position, ripping my shirt in two in his eagerness to grope my breasts.
Hunter lifts himself upwards and takes a nipple between his lips sucking it as I roll my hips faster.
‘Fuck,’ he says through gritted teeth, planting one hand beside our bodies on the floor, meanwhile using the other to grip my hip as he thrusts upward, hitting me so powerfully in the spot I needed that I let out a scream of pleasure, unable to stop myself.
Our bodies clash together as we fight for dominance. Me slamming him down and pinning his arms as he fights my hold, thrusting into me brutally.
‘Submit to me,’ I snap, slamming him hard into the ground.
‘You’ve had your fun, legata una.’ He smirks, his dark hair falling messily onto his forehead as those black eyes glint up at me under the dim lights. ‘Now I’m going to remind you who you belong to.’
With his hand wrapped around my throat, he lifts me off of him, choking me at the same time he slams back inside me before my back even hits the ground. I cry out in pain – and wicked delight – as he mercilessly drills into me. The sound of our skin slapping fills the room followed by the echoes of our cries of passion.
‘Mine,’ I snarl, throwing him sideways, so that I am once more riding him. He chuckles, deep and throaty, loving this game we are playing just as much as I am. ‘You don’t like not being in control, huh?’
Smirking, he shrugs. ‘Maybe. But you sure look sexy trying to take it from me.’
He spins me so fast I feel dizzy and flips me so that I’m on my knees. His hand slaps my bare ass again and I groan at the feel of it. He plunges inside me at the same time his hand wraps around my hair, yanking my head back.
‘Fuck.’ I am delirious, and breathless, and so damn close to breaking, even though I am desperate to overpower him and win. ‘Hunter.’
‘Yes, love?’
Ugh. I can hear the smirk in his voice.
‘You’re an asshole.’
His laugh is rough and laced with desire as he pulls back harder, pins and needles spreading over my scalp.
‘Yeah. But I’m your asshole.’
With one more slap, he reaches around the front of me, his fingers dancing over my clit, crumbling the last of my resolve. The orgasm detonates inside me and I choke on a sob as the feeling is just too damn much.
With a guttural groan, Hunter spills inside of me.
We both collapse onto the ground, feeling depleted, even though we are meant to have infinite strength since we both just fed. The energy flowing between us is something I can barely describe. The intensity . . . The power . . .
Rolling to my side, he drags me close, curling his arm around me, kissing my forehead.
‘Wow,’ I mutter, carving a line from his face, down his neck, placing my hand over where his heart should be beating, if he were still human. ‘That’s even better than I thought it could possibly be.’
‘It’s never felt like that,’ he murmurs. ‘You’re made for me, legata una.’
Smiling, I kiss his lips tenderly, snuggling into his chest.
I don’t want this moment to end. Everything else is a mess.
I want to stay like this – just me and Hunter – forever.