Chapter Seven

 

 

The sun glowed a narrow beam of light through the clinic window, making a shiny spot on the table. Sitting in its warmth made Hal sleepy. She yawned and tried to keep her heavy eyelids open. Monday was always a draggy day, but this one was the draggiest. She had tossed and turned all night, barely getting to sleep before the alarm went off. By the time she dragged herself out of bed, she feared she was going to be late for work. She almost wouldn’t have cared if it wasn’t a worry to her clients. Mrs. Johnson would be on the phone to Barb Sloan if she was more than five minutes late. She lucked out and made it to Mrs. Johnson’s apartment with thirty seconds to spare. Even with that much leeway, the woman had her hand on the phone, ready to dial Barb when Hal stuck her head in the door and announced herself.

Patches sauntered past the window on his way to the shade of the maple tree. This afternoon, she pulled in the Lapp driveway before Patches made it out of the ditch to chase her. He must have dozed off. She wondered if he’d had a bad night, too. He did his customary three circles and laid down to finish the nap she’d interrupted. Toward the back of the clinic, blue and purple clothes, white underwear and two of John’s black pants snapped back and forth in the gusty breeze. Scratching in the grass under the clothes, the setting hen clucked to her baby chicks and ducks. By the fence behind the clothes, a large lilac bush was covered with purple flowers. The yard smelled with nature’s sweet air freshener.

Holding a handful of garden seed packets, Emma interrupted Hal’s revelry. “If you are not busy, want to help me plant some garden?”

“Sure. Looks like no one needs my nursing help this afternoon.” Maybe the fresh air will revive me, she thought.

“That is good,” Emma said.

Hal opened the door and followed Emma out on the porch. “Where is the garden?”

Emma nodded toward the road. “That bare spot.”

“I wondered why there wasn’t any grass there, but I kept forgetting to ask. Why did you put milk jugs in the garden?”

“There is a danger of frost until in the middle of May. The jugs protect the cabbage and tomato plants I set out,” Emma explained.

Hal didn’t remember seeing vegetable sets in front of the feed store or at the tree nursery. “You bought sets somewhere this early?”

“No, I raised them from seeds.”

“Why do you have the garden along side the road?”

Hal could tell that sounded like a silly question to Emma. “Why not?”

“No reason. It’s just that my mom had her garden back behind the tool shed. It was sort of out of sight,” Hal told her.

“Why would I want to hide my garden?” Emma seemed perplexed by the idea. She dropped the seed packets at the end of the garden. “It is of interest for Plain people to see how their neighbors gardens are doing when they drive by. Even English like to see what kinds of vegetables and flowers are planted in them.”

Changing the subject, Hal said, “Nothing better to eat than fresh vegetables from the garden.”

Emma nodded agreement as she went down on her knees. “We have to raise enough to can for winter. You want to learn how to preserve food?”

“Yes, I do. If you think you can stand trying to teach someone who is as dumb as I am about such things,” Hal said sincerely.

“Oh, Hallie. You are not dumb. Now we are going to start by planting radishes, lettuce and peas,” Emma said, sorting the seed packets. A distant rumble turned her attention to the western sky. “Looks like a rain is coming. Dark clouds are banking up. If we hurry maybe we will have some of the planting and my chores done before the storm. I have been trying to start chores early so I can look for Zacchaeus.”

She handed Hal the seeds before she picked up a hoe she dropped in the grass earlier. Giving the mellow dirt a whack with the hoe, she walked backward, making a small trench.

“What do you think happened to him?” Hal asked. Opening a packet of radishes, she bent over and dropped the seeds in the furrow.

“If he decided to roost out, a coon, skunk or possum could have got him. Maybe even a coyote. But he never does that,” Emma declared. “I think my brothers had something to do with his disappearing. It is a joke on me.”

“I can’t believe that Noah and Daniel would do that to you,” Hal said, opening the package of lettuce. She followed Emma as the girl made another row.

“Remember the duck eggs under my brood hen?”

“Oh.” Hal didn’t have a defense for that.

Absorbed in what they were doing, Emma and Hal forgot about the approaching storm until large, crystal clear drops pelted them. Emma dropped the hoe. A gust of wind caught the pile of seed packets, causing them to tumble over and over across the garden. Emma and Hal scrambled to gather up the remaining packets.

After Emma chased down the last packet, she yelled, “This is it. Run for the porch.”

Leaning against the porch wall, Emma closed her eyes and turned her face toward the sky. “Ain’t it something how a spring shower keeps up making down. Smell the clean air and wet dust.”

Hal stood beside her and looked out over the hay field and pasture. The shower draped the fields in a silver veil. She took a deep breath. “As clean as the smell of fresh-washed clothes drying on the line.”

“Yes.” Emma’s tone changed. “Oh, no! I forgot to bring in my clothes,” she cried. As an after-thought she giggled. “Oh well, too late now. They will have to dry over.” She looked across the yard at the darkened earth. Her voice filled with regret. “It's time to plant peas. As soon as the ground dries, I'll have to get that done.”

“How do you know it's time to plant peas?”

“When the lilac bush leaves are as big as a mouse's ear,” Emma said.

Hal had come to realize that Amish people tried to keep to an organized timeline with everything they did much like English people. Plain people use signs to do that with things that pertained to their rural life. English had forgotten how to do that. Her grandparents lived that way. That was years ago. Everyone goes by the calendar and their watches now instead of nature signs.

As quickly as the downpour started it ended. The overcast sky suddenly changed to sunshine. The sun caressed the earth and both of them with its light and warmth.

With excitement in her voice, Emma pointed. “Look a rainbow!”

The ethereal jewel-tone mist arched in the pasture just beyond the barn. “How lovely. As a child, I was told if I could find the end of the rainbow I’d find a pot of gold,” Hal said.

“That’s an English tale,” Emma scoffed. “The rainbow came about because God made a promise to Noah. He said, “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.” She paused, studying the rainbow before she continued. “If they feel the need to make wishes, English people should not wish for something that has to do with wealth.”

Hal learned early on once she got to really know Emma, she should listen to this wise girl’s thoughts. She was so very perceptive. Her insight into Amish life would be what was going to help Hal fit in. “What kind of wish, Emma?”

Emma paused to think before she spoke. “This could be many things. Maybe you should wish at the end of your rainbow to find happiness or health.”

“Happiness. I like that wish. For quite a long time now, I've felt as if happiness is just out of my reach. If I wish on that rainbow, I’m going to have to wish really hard if I expect my wish to come true,” Hal said softly.

Emma answered sagely, “Hallie, wishing for happiness does not make it happen. You have to work to get and keep happiness in your life. Now come with me. We have eggs to gather.”

When Noah and Daniel came home from school, Emma was taking the eggs out of her bucket and placing them in a dark brown crock bowl. Without a word, she watched her brothers put their lunch pails on the counter.

The boys nodded a greeting at Hal. Very quietly, they headed for the mudroom to put on their knee boots.

“Not so fast. I want to talk to you,” Emma said sharply.

The boys stopped and turned meekly to face her. She eyed them suspiciously. “I still can not find my rooster. Are you sure you do not know what has happened to him?”

Noah and Daniel shook their heads no.

“I can not understand why he is missing. Did you catch him for the Sunday dinner when we had fried chicken? Mind you if you did, that would not be a funny joke to me,” Emma warned.

“No,” Noah declared. “We wouldn’t do that.”

“We know better than to harm your pet,” Daniel assured her.

Hal felt sorry for the boys. They looked like they were telling the truth.

“It sure seems strange my rooster I have not seen since that very day,” Emma said sharply, watching the boys closely. “Go on now and do the chores.”

Noah and Daniel were good boys. Hal was sure they wouldn’t have caught Zacchaeus to eat him. They wouldn’t dare harm the chicken, knowing how much he meant to Emma. A bad feeling suddenly stirred in her gut. She thought of the rooster that walked up to her that Sunday morning she helped the boys butcher the roosters. He was a beauty, a dark wine red with long, black, arching tail feathers that shimmered emerald green when the sunlight hit them. He didn’t seem afraid of her. At the time, she was sure he meant to fight her as most feisty roosters do. Could that have been Zacchaeus just looking for a handout from her as he would from Emma? The girl said her rooster hadn’t been seen since that day.

That must have been what happened. Hal felt sick at her stomach. She rose from the table and peered out the window, hoping against hope that she was wrong. Yet so very sure she was right. What a terrible mess. It was all her fault that Emma’s pet wound up on the Sunday dinner menu. How could she ever explain this to Emma? Killing a pet was not the way to become a trusted and beloved member of the Lapp family. If she found out, Emma would never forgive her for killing the pet rooster.

Oh, if only she hadn’t let her pride get in the way. She should have told the boys she let the rooster get away from her. If she had, Noah would have understood and caught her another rooster. He’d have known to pick out a rooster that wasn’t Zacchaeus. Oh sure, the boys might have teased her for not holding on to the rooster when he pecked her. That would have been far easier to take than having to live with what she had done to Zacchaeus. So much for thinking her wish on the rainbow might come true. Her happiness with this family had fallen victim to Noah’s butcher ax along with the head of Zacchaeus.

It was close enough to milking time. She watched the boys hurry across the yard to the barn. They must be glad to get away from Emma’s stern gaze. One more thing for her to regret. How could she ever live with herself if she let the boys take the blame for something so awful when she knew they were innocent?

Feeling guilty, Hal didn’t have it in her to stay close to Emma in the kitchen. She was having trouble facing the girl with the dark secret she now carried. She had to have time to decide what she should do next. As she walked out of the kitchen, she said over her shoulder, “I’m going to the barn. I think I’ll help the boys milk tonight.”

Buttercat, the yellow tomcat, came to meet Hal when she opened the barn door. He wrapped himself around her ankles, tapping her with his twitching tail. His purr was so loud Hal could hear him above the generator hum. A couple of hens sat on top a pen door, cawing contently. Those two had every intention of spending the night right where they were. By morning, they might become some wild critter's meal. Hal walked around them and clapped her hands. The cackling hens flew down to the floor and raced out the open door. The last she saw of them, they were in a dead heat, going around the house on their way to the hen house.

Noah opened the back door to turn in the first set of ten cows.

One at a time, the cows burst into the barn. Large heads swinging and full utters swaying, each of the cows plodded for the same stanchion they stood in twice a day. Noah followed them. He slapped the first cow’s bony flank to move her ahead enough to lock her neck into the stanchion. Spotting Hal, he asked, “Did you need something?”

“I just wanted to help milk,” Hal said loud enough to carry over the generator motor. She carried Buttercat over to the closest straw-filled pen and put him down, hoping he’d stay out from underfoot. She went to the feed room and got the pail of dairy feed with a scoop laying on top. While Noah hooked up the milking cups, she walked in front of the cows, dispensing feed in the troughs. In seconds, milk surged through the clear plastic lines that ran above their heads and into the milk room bulk tank.

From the hayloft, Daniel called, “Look out below.” He threw down a bale of alfalfa hay. It thudded against the barn floor, stirring up a large puff of dust. Daniel scrambled down the ladder and fished his pocket knife out to cut the strings. He gathered up an armload and backed the door open. “I am going to hay the horses and the bull,” he told Hal.

 

 

 

The time passed by fast as they worked together. Hal leaned against the barn wall, arms folded over her chest. She watched Noah take the stainless steel milk cups off the last batch of cows. As she thought about facing Emma again, her dread grew heavier like a gunny sack full of potatoes on her back, trying to pull her down to her knees. Noah turned the generator off and started running the scoop shovel over the floor to clean it.

Daniel picked up a pail of shelled corn and oat mix in the feed room. “Come with me, Nurse Hal. We’ll feed the sows.”

On the way to the pig pen, Hal walked along with her hands in her denim jacket pockets, kicking at rocks in front of her.

“You look unhappy,” Daniel surmised, looking up at her.

Either she was very transparent or Daniel was as perceptive as Emma. “That’s because I am,” she admitted.

Daniel looked concerned. “Why? Have we done something wrong?”

“No, but I sure did.” Hal looked off over the hayfield, fighting back tears. “It’s something that is going to make Emma mad at me. I mean really mad.”

“I can not imagine Emma ever disapproving of you,” Daniel scoffed.

“She will this time when she finds out,” Hal assured him.

“What did you do?” Daniel asked, throwing the feed in the trough on the other side the pig pen fence.

“I killed Zacchaeus.”

Daniel pivoted around fast. His mouth flew open when he realized she was serious. The empty bucket slipped from his fingers, making a loud bang when it hit the ground. The pigs squealed in fear and backed away from the trough. Daniel was so busy studying Hal he didn’t notice. “Why would you say that? I do not believe you could harm her rooster.”

Hal’s legs felt like rubber. She backed up, leaned against the pig pen fence and rested her elbows on the top board. She felt all color drain from her face as she asked, “Remember the day I helped you catch the roosters to fry for dinner?”

“Yes.”

“When Noah and you left me alone, the rooster I had bit me. I dropped him. The rooster took off. I didn’t want you to know that I couldn’t succeed at such a simple task as holding onto a fryer for a few minutes. Another rooster walked right up to me. I figured he just wanted to be fed. I thought what luck. I grabbed at him and got him by the tail. I wouldn’t have to bother Noah to catch another rooster. I was so proud of myself for catching a chicken by myself, but I didn’t say anything to you. I didn’t want you to know.”

The full impact of Hal’s story came to Daniel. “Oh, oh,” he said softly.

“Emma thinks maybe you boys have the rooster hid some place. She’s going to feel so bad when she finds out Zacchaeus is really dead,” Hal said, tears running alongside her nose. “When she knows it was all my fault she will never like me again.”

Noah called from the barn door, “What is taking so long?”

“Come here now. Quick!” Daniel said urgently, beckoning at his brother.

“What for?”

“Quick,” Daniel repeated. He said softly to Hal, “We should ask Noah what to do.”

Noah ran to them. Daniel explained Hal’s problem. He suggested, “Maybe Nurse Hal should not say anything to Emma. She will give up looking for the rooster one of these days and find another one to make her a pet. What do you think, Noah?”

“One pet can never replace another. If something happened to Patches, do you think we will ever find another dog we would like as well?” Noah asked sagely.

“Oh,” groaned Hal. “Noah is right, Daniel.”

“You are not helping,” Daniel warned Noah, rolling his eyes toward the upset woman.

A quick look at Hal and Noah could clearly see how bad she felt. He took her hand. “I think Emma will understand what you did was an accident.”

Daniel grunted. “She would be much more forgiving of you than she would if it had been Noah and me that killed her rooster.”

“Oh,” Hal moaned. “That is another thing. If I don't tell Emma the truth, she’ll go on thinking the two of you are guilty.”

“As Daniel has said, if it is your wish to not tell her the truth we will not say anything about it. Emma will not worry for a long time. She will get busy and forget.” Noah rolled his eyes at Daniel and said softly, “I hope.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Hal wiped her eyes with her coat sleeve. “I feel so dishonest, but I don’t want Emma to be mad at me.”

Daniel took her other hand. “Emma will be sad for a little while if you tell her. That is all. It is the way of Plain people to forgive those who do something against us.”

“I’d never intentionally do anything against any of you,” protested Hal, sniffling. “I really didn’t mean to kill Emma’s pet. For her to forgive is one thing. What about forgetting?”

Noah shrugged as he patted her hand. “I think I can speak for Emma. Do not worry about us. You are like a mother to us. We know you could never do anything to hurt one of us.”

Daniel perked up. “Can we ask her now, Noah?”

Hal sniffled and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. “Ask me what?”

“Daniel and me have been talking about what to call you. Nurse Hal does not seem right once you marry Dad. Daniel and I want to know if we can call you Mama Hal?” Noah asked.

Hal started crying again. She dropped to her knees and held her arms out to the boys for a hug. “At this moment, I don’t feel I deserve such an honor, but I’d love you to call me Mama.” As an after-thought, she said, “If it is all right with your father.”

Emma stuck her head out the front door and yelled, “Supper is ready.

Hal wanted to be anywhere else at that moment rather in Emma’s kitchen. She sighed. “Somehow I have to get up the courage to tell your sister the truth about Zacchaeus. Let me do it when I think the time is right.”

The boys nodded they agreed.

Hal kept her eyes averted from Emma during supper. She was so uncomfortable with the awful secret she carried. What she did to the rooster kept boiling like a cauldron of bubbling hot chicken soup in her head. Her conscience bothered her like no other time in her life. How was she ever going to find the moment that was right to tell Emma she killed her pet rooster? She couldn’t even look the girl in the eyes without wanting to cry. As upset as she was, this night was not the time to try to make a rational case for her awful deed. One that Emma would accept and forgive. If there was such a case.

Finally, that long, miserable evening was almost over. Emma wiped out the dishpan. She laid the dishcloth over the towel rack and dried her hands. “Now we are done. Hallie, sit down and talk to me. I sense something is bothering you. What is it?”

What made the Lapp children sense stuff like this, Hal wondered. She debated a second but just didn’t have the guts to confess that she was Zacchaeus’s murderer. That heaped on her worry about John spending too much time at Roseanna Miller’s was almost more than she could bear. What if John decided to combine the Miller family and his since the Millers were Amish? That would be a marriage of convenience for the Lapp and Miller families that made more sense than John marrying her. Hal was sure John loved her. But no matter what his feelings were for her, he might think he would get a better bargain if he married this available Amish woman.

Hal didn’t think she could stand it if she lost this family she loved. She had hoped to grow old with John and help raise his children. Maybe have some babies of her own.

Another idea kept nibbling at her. What if John couldn’t pick between Roseanna and her? Right then she wished she knew everything there was to know about Amish beliefs. Did Amish men take more than one wife? If that was the case, she’d make it very clear to Mr. John Lapp, Hal Lindstrom would never become Amish enough to stand for that. She couldn’t feel sorry enough for a pretty, young widow like Roseanna Miller to share her husband.

Hal keep her eyes on the dish towel she hung over the rack while she spoke, “I guess I worry too much. Your father is spending a lot of time with Roseanna Miller. I’m thinking John might decide it would be so much easier to bring an Amish woman into this family. Easier than it would be an English one. Especially a widow that is already a good homemaker.

“Dad would never do that to you. He loves you. He would never do that to his family. He knows his children love you like a mother,” Emma declared.

Turning to Emma, Hal rubbed her throbbing forehead. “Tell me, do Amish men ever have more than one wife?”

Emma tried not to smile, but humor lit up her gray-green eyes. “Oh, Hallie. No, that is not permitted. You need not worry about such a thing. Stop such thoughts. My father loves you and no one else.”

“I hope you’re right.” Hal felt so drained. She was on the verge of tears again. All she wanted right now was to be by herself. “I think I’ll go home now. There are some things I’ve got to work out in my mind. Besides, I’m not fit company right now,” Hal said, putting on her jacket.

She had so much to figure out. How was she ever going to get over being jealous of a widow who needed John’s help? How was she ever going to tell Emma what happened to her pet rooster? That story was not going to add to her popularity with the Lapp family. With the uncertainty about where John stood with her, this was not a good time to get Emma upset with her. That girl had too much influence with her father. He really would lean in favor of taking Roseanna for his wife if Emma couldn’t stand the sight of her.

All this worry was going to drive her crazy. She had to get home and try to get a better night’s sleep than she did the night before. Surely everything would look less gloomy tomorrow morning if she wasn’t so tired. Maybe then she could come up with some answers to her problems.

Later, John walked in the front door. He looked around the living room. Noah greeted him and jumped Daniel’s black checker.

John said, “It sure is quiet in here. Hal’s car is gone. I thought she might wait until I came home.” He was disappointed that he missed seeing her.

“She left early,” Noah shared, making another move with a red checker.

John glanced toward the dark kitchen. “Where is Emma?”

Eying his father, Daniel chirped, “She said she wanted to go to bed early, because she was tired.”

Noah added, “She sounded mad if you ask me.”

John tossed his straw hat at a wall peg. The hat bounced off the peg and slid down the wall to the floor. He plopped down on the couch close to the boys. “I have not been around much lately. I feel as if I have missed what is going on at home. Mind if I ask if there is anything I should know about?”

Noah and Daniel wrinkled their noses at each other.

“You say,” Daniel told his brother.

“Maybe you should ask Emma what is bothering her,” Noah said. As an after thought he warned, “Do not stand too close to her. She is not easy to be around when she is upset.”

“All right, I will remember,” John said. He pushed himself off the couch slowly with an effort. His days had been long and tiresome since he took over the Miller chores. All he wanted to do was to go to bed and be rested enough to start over in the morning. Maybe tomorrow night would have a better ending. Hal would be waiting for him when he got home.

He trod up the stairs. As much as he wanted to turn in his bedroom door, he went past and knocked on Emma’s.

“What is it?” Emma asked tersely.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” he said.

“You did not wake me,” she replied sharply.

“Can I talk to you?” John asked tentatively.

“Yes, Dad.”

John crossed as far as the foot of her bed, thinking about Noah’s warning. He stared through the dark, trying to make out his daughter’s head. “You went to bed early. Are you sick?”

“Just worried. To worry makes me tired,” she said shortly.

“What worries you?”

Emma shot up to a sitting position. “Dad, I fear you are going to lose Hallie if you do not talk to her about what you do at Roseanna’s farm. She is uneasy because you stay with Roseanna and her family for supper. She asked me tonight if Amish men ever have two wives.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“She did?” He could not imagine Hal thinking about such a thing.

“She did.”

“Do you think she would approve of marrying a man that has another wife?” John asked, bewildered.

“You know she would not. But she worries that you might think that way. Hallie does not understand our ways. Little by little, she asks about our beliefs. I told her not to worry herself with such a thought. You only wanted to marry her,” Emma drew out, feeling drained.

“Good. That is settled.”

Emma plopped back onto the bed. She crossed her arms over her chest, letting out a discussed gust of air. “Nothing is settled. Hearing it from me is not the same as you telling Hallie. She worries so much she does not feel pretty good. Her eating has gone away. She don’t look too good in the face, either.”

“It is that bad, ain’t?”

“Yes,” Emma snapped.

“All right. Thank you for telling me,” John said with a feeling of irritation rising in him.

“Talk to her soon, Dad. Don’t let her worry for very much longer. It is not a good thing for all of us,” Emma warned.

“I will do that Emma. Now get some rest,” he told her.

I will have a talk with Hal soon, he told himself in the hall. The short distance John trudged to his bedroom, his feet felt like pieces of heavy lead. He would not have the kind of talk Emma wanted, but he wasn’t going to tell his daughter that. He didn’t want to have her on his bad side right away. Emma had become a mother hen to Hal. It would only take a few words from him to get his daughter to side with Hal. So he’d risk Emma being cross with him after he talked to Hal. That English woman had to understand that Plain people helped each other in order to survive in their community. She would be expected to do the same thing when she became Amish. John leaned against his doorway and stared into his dark bedroom. This trouble would not be happening if I could have convinced Hal to move in with me. Maybe she would not be thinking such thoughts about Roseanna if she was in my bed waiting for me at this very minute.

He punched the door facing. What is wrong with Hal? He thought about why she’d act this way. It came to him. Hal was jealous. That was it. For the life of him, he didn’t know why. Hadn’t he told her he loved her often enough?

John sat down on the bed and removed one of his high topped farmer shoes. The shoe plunked on its side by the bed. She has to know I would never do anything to destroy what we have together. He’d talk to her all right. He removed the other shoe and gave it a hard toss, bouncing it off the other one.

She had to change her way of thinking before they married. If Hal Lindstrom couldn’t see this his way, there would be no marriage. That’s what he would tell her, then he’d take his chances with Emma.