Earlier on, at the start of the year, in those first few weeks following the break-up, Poppy had received precisely three voicemails from Karleen. Each time, she waited until late at night, when she was sitting up in bed with some sort of alcoholic beverage on the table beside her before she put the phone to her ear, breathed in deeply and listened to the messages.
In the first, the tinny voice was kind, much kinder than it had been during the confrontation: ‘Poppy, I know this has been such a huge shock for you and I know we’ve hurt you badly. But if you can bring yourself around to seeing our side of things, if you can understand that we simply couldn’t turn our backs on love, then maybe we could all move past this and be friends. I do still love you, Poppy.’
Poppy’s heart had ached for the life she’d had before. For the nights she’d shared on the couch sitting between her husband and her oldest friend, watching a rented movie, passing around takeaway Thai or a pizza box. Back when those nights ended with Karleen heading home to her own place while Poppy took Garret by the hand and pulled him upstairs to bed. Back when they still made love. Back when no one had ripped the rug out from underneath her and her deepest concern about Karleen was helping her find the right man to settle down with. As much as Karleen’s request was wildly unreasonable, the most ridiculous thought had crossed her mind – was there a way she could have the two of them back in her life? Of course, the idea was absurd and it disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
Then the second message came through, in which Karleen couldn’t help letting a hint of her usual crispness creep through. ‘Poppy, I can’t understand why you’re not returning my calls. You need to look at the bigger picture. Garret is wracked with guilt and it’s not fair on him. His intention was never to cause you any hurt. We’re all adults and there’s no reason why we can’t work this out. We’ve been friends a long time. Call me back. We need to talk.’
And then the third voicemail, in which her voice sounded resigned and tired: ‘All right, Poppy, I’ll leave you alone. But please, considering the history of our friendship, I just would have hoped you wouldn’t want to throw all of that away. Because I still think we should be able to find a way through all of this. So if you can find it in your heart to give us a chance, call me.’
Poppy had wanted to hurl her phone across her bedroom. The acute injustice of Karleen’s words was beyond comprehension. Why should it be on her to forgive them? Why should the weight of their lost friendship fall on her shoulders? She’d buried her face in her pillow, pummelled the mattress and let loose a guttural, primal scream of pure frustration and fury. How could she have been friends with Karleen for such a long time and never realised how horrendously selfish and insensitive the woman was?
So when the post from NOP member Yasmine had appeared in Poppy’s newsfeed and she’d read those words: Considering the friendships I’ve forged with you all, I’d hope you guys wouldn’t want to throw all of that away – something inside Poppy had snapped. It was the day after her night out on the pull and she was feeling seedy from having drunk far too much. Reading someone’s joyous pregnancy announcement was the last thing she was in the mood for. She snatched up her phone and marched downstairs to the warehouse, glad to escape the dry air-conditioned hell of the office above.
Now, she and Annalise were sitting side by side on a pallet, hidden between two large piles of stock. Poppy had kicked off her heels to place her stockinged feet on the cool concrete floor and Annalise hadn’t pulled her up on the OH&S rules. Annalise’s feet were encased in steel-cap work boots and she’d crossed her legs beneath her. ‘Here,’ said Poppy, passing Annalise her phone. ‘Have you seen this post yet?’
Annalise started reading and Poppy almost held her breath as she waited. Her shoulders and back muscles squeezed together involuntarily. A part of her was scared she might think it wasn’t such a big deal, that she wouldn’t understand why it had upset Poppy so much.
‘That’s ridiculous,’ Annalise finally said. ‘I can’t believe she wants to stay a member.’
Poppy’s body relaxed.
‘I mean, you put up a reminder a week ago when we started getting requests from women who thought we were some kind of support group for infertile people,’ Annalise continued. ‘Your whole idea was to reach people who don’t ever want kids, not women who thought they couldn’t and then suddenly do. There’s no way she deserves to stay. It’s not like we’re all going to get excited about her stupid baby announcements.’
‘Totally!’ Poppy tried to keep her voice steady. She didn’t want Annalise to see how emotional she’d felt about this entire situation. She was embarrassed about how much it had got to her. ‘She can always go and join MOP anyway, right?’
‘Exactly. Don’t worry about it. I’ll boot her from the group.’
‘Do you think we’ve let NOP get too big? Maybe we need to be more selective with who we let in.’
‘Yeah, you could be right. I guess we have started to relax our approval process, haven’t we? Don’t let it stress you, we can get back on top of it.
‘Thanks, Lise.’
‘All right. I’ve been patient but I can’t stand it anymore, aren’t you going to tell me?”
‘Tell you what?’
‘Don’t be obtuse. You know what. How did it go with Will last night?’
‘Oh. That. Well . . . I went home with him.’
‘And?’
‘And . . . we made it as far as his apartment, and we’d just got out of the cab when I felt a lurch and next thing I was throwing up in the gutter.’
‘Oh no! Poppy, you lightweight.’
‘Lightweight? You’re kidding me, right? We were downing doubles all night. I can’t believe I didn’t throw up sooner.’
‘So what happened next?’
‘He called it a night and put me straight back in the cab.’
‘I’m surprised the cabbie let you back in.’
‘Me too.’
‘So are you disappointed he didn’t offer to hold your hair back and nurse you all night long?’
Poppy laughed. ‘No, I’m not stupid. I know we were only going back there for one thing. It’s a shame he didn’t even ask for my number though.’
‘But I thought you were only after a one-night stand, weren’t you? Shit, you didn’t start to fall for him or something, did you?’
‘No, no, of course not.’
Poppy sighed and rested her head on Annalise’s shoulder. She badly needed a Berocca.
A voice called out from down the end of the aisle. ‘Annalise? You about?’
Annalise grabbed hold of Poppy’s arm and yanked her backwards, making her pull her feet up onto the pallet and out of sight. ‘Shh,’ she said. ‘That was fucking Frankie. If she sees us hiding out here she’ll probably run and dob us in to her boyfriend.’
Poppy stifled a laugh and they waited quietly until they heard her high heels clip-clop away.
‘She’s going to wonder where you are,’ said Poppy.
‘Who cares.’
They sat quietly for a few more minutes before Poppy eventually stretched and started to shuffle forward to get up off the pallet. ‘Guess I should go back upstairs.’
‘You want to catch a movie tonight?’ Annalise said, putting her hands out so Poppy could pull her to her feet. ‘I usually like to do my own thing on Tuesdays but I can make an exception this once. Plus, discount tickets. You in?’
‘Yeah, why not.’