Wyatt wasn’t convinced he should have welcomed Carolina into the room. Maybe he should have tossed her out on her ear. He wasn’t even quite clear on why she was there in the first place. He couldn’t believe she would take to following him around. More likely that she was here applying for a job.
He watched her speaking to Gran, rearranging the old woman’s pillows and locating the television remote for her. Carolina was good at her job. No—she was excellent. Gran was relaxed and responsive, better than she usually was around Wyatt or any of the other nurses at the facility.
Wyatt hated the disease that had eroded his precious gran’s mind, leaving her perpetually confused about not only where she was, but who she was. That was the nature of the beast. It didn’t seem fair that his intelligent, lively gran could be reduced to this shell of a woman.
He visited her once a week, on Monday mornings. At first, after he’d made the painful decision to place Gran in the nursing home, he’d tried to visit every other day or so. But more often than not, his appearance upset her or sent her into a flurry of mindless activity, so he’d eventually lessened his visits. It hurt his heart, but this wasn’t about him.
Most of the time when he visited, Gran didn’t recognize him at all. Sometimes she thought he was Grandpa George, or Wyatt’s father, Ian. Occasionally, she was completely lucid and knew exactly who he was. Sometimes, like today, she had no idea what his name was but sensed he was connected to her in some way.
And then there were the times he hated the most, when his presence disturbed her, or she would beg for him to take her home with him. He didn’t know whether or not to be thankful that she recognized him less and less frequently. He didn’t like to see her unhappy.
Always, it was an emotional roller coaster for Wyatt. He knew he had been blessed to have his grandmother with him as long as he had, but the thought of the world without her in it still saddened and pained him.
“Does she like any specific soap operas or game shows?” Carolina asked, pointing the remote toward the television and clicking through the channels at random.
“She likes those court shows,” he replied. “You know, the ones with the judges pounding their gavels, where people fight over stupid stuff?”
“Right.” Carolina turned to a channel where a black-robed judge was sitting behind a bench barking out a sentence to a miserable plaintiff and an elated defendant.
“There you go, Eva,” Carolina said, her voice soft and affectionate. “How’s that for you? The judges are funny, aren’t they?”
Gran reached out and patted Carolina’s cheek. “You are such a sweetheart.”
Wyatt’s stomach tightened. He used to believe that, too. It galled him to think he could be so wrong about a person, especially as close as he’d thought he’d been to Carolina.
He must be the worst judge of character ever. He should just stick to the animals. At least with them a man always knew where he stood.
Animals were loyal.
But Carolina?
She’d certainly put on a good show for him three years ago, when they’d been dating and when he’d believed he was in love with her. She was a consummate actress—he could say that about her. He’d bought her performance hook, line and sinker, believing that she was the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the world.
Believing she was the only woman in the world for him. That they were meant to be together. That he wanted to put a ring on her finger and make his love for her permanent.
That their love would last forever.
What love?
Had she ever loved him, or had it all been his imagination and a desperate need for her to feel as he did?
He still thought she was beautiful, at least on the outside. That hadn’t changed. How could it?
But as for the rest of it? That woman had never existed at all, or else she wouldn’t have disappeared without one word to him when she got pregnant with his child.
What kind of a person even did that?
Not the same woman who was carrying on a quiet conversation with his gran. It was hard to reconcile what he was seeing before him.
Watching Carolina now, it was as if the years had fallen away. Sweet, sensitive Carolina had always been able to calm Gran, had always appeared to know exactly what the old woman required even when Gran couldn’t voice her needs. Carolina knew how to react to any given situation without losing her composure.
Those qualities were what had made her such a good nurse, and those qualities were among those that had initially caught his eye, and eventually his heart.
He and Carolina had laughed together, cried together, and in a moment of deepest grief, they had ultimately found temporary solace in each other’s arms. And while Wyatt hadn’t intended for things to happen in that order, their night together had only strengthened his resolve, solidified the love between them—or at least that’s what he’d thought at the time.
He had already had the ring and had been ready to propose to her. Even before that night, he’d known he wanted to spend his life with her.
He could have made it right—for all three of them—if only she would have let him. If only she would have stayed. If only she had been honest with him from the beginning.
Wyatt scoffed softly and stood abruptly, striding to the window overlooking a tree-lined greenbelt. It didn’t make any sense. Not one bit of it. There wasn’t anything rational about the things Carolina had done and had failed to do, before or since she had left him three years ago.
There was no way to reconcile the woman he’d thought he’d loved, the one who even now obviously cared deeply for his gran, with the woman who had callously left him in the lurch without a thought to how he would feel. Without considering that he had rights and responsibilities as a dad.
Or that Matty needed a father.
“Why are you here?” he asked without turning. He wasn’t entirely certain what he was asking. Why was she here today, in Gran’s room, for starters? But in truth it was so much more than one thing. Nothing was that simple anymore.
Was this visit about Gran? Had Carolina somehow discovered this was where Wyatt had placed Gran when he could no longer take care of her? Was she here to visit her? Was it purely an accident that she’d encountered Wyatt?
But no. She’d looked totally stricken—guilty—when he’d first spotted her in the doorway, silently observing him with Gran. Her face had turned twenty shades of red at least. She’d looked just as shocked when her gaze shifted to his grandmother as it had when their eyes had met.
But if this wasn’t about Gran, then what was it, really?
“I was filling out an employment application,” she replied reluctantly.
“Oh?” He swiveled on his heel, leaned his hip on the windowsill and crossed his arms. “I figured you’d probably go for a job at the hospital. I’m sure it pays better.”
Color rose in her face once again, flaming her cheeks. What was she not telling him? Her unspoken words hung in the air between them until she dropped her gaze.
“I don’t know why I bothered coming out here today. They won’t hire me, any more than the hospital.”
“What? Why not?” Whatever else Carolina was or wasn’t, she was a competent, compassionate nurse. She’d been in the top of her class in college and had an outstanding résumé.
“I don’t meet the physical qualifications.”
Now that he really didn’t believe. Carolina was petite, but she was in perfect physical condition. She had a runner’s slim stature and she’d been a regular at the gym in all the time that he’d known her. A man couldn’t be breathing and not notice her shapely form.
“I trashed my knee in a skiing accident a few months back. I had to have surgery on it, and it’s still liable to give way on me at any moment. I can’t trust it, and neither can a prospective employer. Doctor’s orders that I don’t lift too much weight. I can’t blame the facilities for turning me away.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, and meant it. “Are you in any pain?”
She smiled, but it was sad and forlorn, matching the anguish in her eyes. “Sometimes. But more than the physical pain is not being able to do what I love to do. Nursing, not skiing,” she qualified.
He chuckled, but his mind was spinning, trying to process this new information. If she couldn’t find a job, then she couldn’t support Matty. She wouldn’t even be able to support herself.
Wyatt might not like what she had done to him, but she was still the mother of his child, and there was no question that he would take care of her and Matty, as much as they needed for as long as they needed.
“How can I help?”
She squared her shoulders and raised her chin. “I don’t need any assistance from you.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. There was pride, and then there was sheer stubbornness.
“Look, if you need some money or something to help you get by...”
“No.” Carolina spoke so forcefully that Gran looked away from her show to eye both of them dubiously.
Carolina lowered her voice. “Thank you for offering, but I don’t need your help,” she repeated. “I’ve been taking care of Matty since he was born, and I’ll do it now. I’ll find a job. You don’t have to worry about us. Matty and I will be just fine.”
She was face-to-face with him now, close enough that he could feel her breath fanning his cheek.
He wanted to be angry at her words, at the callous way she’d dismissed him from her and Matty’s lives. But despite his best efforts, his rebellious senses bolted to life, as if they’d been lying dormant for years. Every awareness amplified, from the breezy, floral scent of her perfume to the way he knew she would fit perfectly under the crook of his shoulder if he were to move forward just the tiniest bit.
He took a big step backward.
Was he insane?
This was the woman who had run off with his son. What he should be thinking about, what was imperative, was that Matty—and by extension, Carolina—had what they needed, not only to survive, but to thrive.
The problem was convincing Carolina he wasn’t offering charity. It was his responsibility to look after them, but he was fairly certain she wouldn’t see it that way.
“Promise me you won’t wait too long before asking.” His voice was unusually husky. “And that if you or Matty are ever in need—of anything, Carolina, and I mean that—you’ll come to me first.”
Her eyes widened and she pinched her lips into a tight line. She shook her head and reached for her purse, which she’d set on Gran’s nightstand when she entered.
“I assure you that won’t be necessary.” She flashed a tense smile for Gran’s sake and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll be back to visit you soon, Eva.”
The next moment she was gone, without so much as another word to Wyatt.
How fittingly reminiscent of her.
* * *
“Thank you anyway, Dr. Delgado. I appreciate you calling me back.” Carolina ended the call, sighed deeply and clasped her cell phone—one item she wouldn’t be able to afford after the end of this month—tightly to her chest.
She squeezed her eyes closed, but tears surfaced despite her best efforts, making slow, silent streams down her cheeks. She slipped her cell phone into the back pocket of her jeans and groaned in frustration.
Thankfully Matty was absorbed in the preschool programming he was watching on television, counting along with the colorful aliens who were surreptitiously teaching him math skills in the form of entertainment.
Carolina sniffed and wiped her wet cheeks with her palm.
That was it, then. Her last hope for local employment in the medical field. Dr. Delgado had let her down kindly, but he already had two long-term employees, a registered nurse and a physician’s assistant. Doc had wished Carolina well but had offered no further suggestions on where she might look for a job.
She was out of options. She was out of money.
And she was out of time.
She was grateful she owned Uncle Mort’s cabin free and clear, but he hadn’t had much else in the way of assets, and now was dipping into her meager savings account every time she visited the grocery store or wrote a check for utilities. Her unemployment benefits didn’t begin to cover their necessities. Matty had hit another growth spurt, and all of his jeans were inches too short at the ankles. She had been looking around for viable day care options for him, but she didn’t want to skimp on that expense. Matty deserved the very best care available. And next year he’d be in preschool, with a whole new set of challenges.
Not that she had a need for day care until she managed to find employment. She scoffed aloud.
Lord, what would You have me do?
She had no choice but to stay in Haven, at least for the next couple of months, and it wasn’t as if she really had any better options elsewhere. She was as stuck in the mud as that donkey Wyatt had been telling his gran about.
After checking on Matty, Carolina tucked one leg under her on a kitchen chair and opened her laptop, a spiral notebook and a ballpoint pen beside her to make a record of her online applications. She was determined to check every local internet job board for postings.
At this point she was willing to consider anything. She didn’t care how overqualified she might be. Beggars couldn’t afford to be choosers, especially when that particular beggar had a growing boy to care for.
A half hour later, having found not a single lead or typed in a single application, she put Matty down for his afternoon nap, lingering to gaze at his sweet face, so pure and innocent in sleep.
Matty didn’t deserve any of this. She had already made so many wrong choices during his young life. Carolina wanted to offer her son the world, but at this point she could barely offer him his next meal.
Promise you won’t wait too long before asking.
Wyatt’s words echoed through her mind, taunting her.
If Matty is ever in need, come to me first.
No.
How could she even be considering taking Wyatt up on his offer?
But then again, how could she not?
If she only had to worry about herself, she’d starve before she asked for a handout. But it wasn’t her she was thinking about.
It was Matty.
Even if she went door to door among Haven businesses trying to find a job—as it appeared she would have to do, since she had found no leads online—it would take her time to connect with something, and another couple of weeks after that to get her first paycheck.
She was desperate enough to consider anything, up to and including flipping hamburgers or waitressing at the local truck stop. But she wasn’t entirely convinced even the fast-food joints around town would be interested in hiring her.
Wyatt had a steady, good-paying job in Haven, and had since the day he’d graduated from veterinary school. He hadn’t said anything about a wife, and he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, so presumably he didn’t have a family to care for, other than his gran. He probably had plenty of extra savings to fall back on.
More than she did, anyway.
He was Matty’s father.
And he had offered.
But could she do it?
The moment she’d arrived back in Haven and had come face-to-face with Wyatt, she’d been in a perpetual cycle of eating humble pie.
Choking on it, more like.
What was one more interaction in the big scheme of things? If Wyatt truly wanted to be a part of Matty’s life, then providing for some of his physical needs was as good a start as any.
With a sigh, Carolina leaned over the toddler bed to brush a kiss over the soft skin of Matty’s forehead.
She couldn’t even believe she was seriously considering asking Wyatt for help. She was not a charity case—and if she was going to do this, she would make absolutely certain that Wyatt understood she wasn’t asking for her own good. Nor would she take a single thing for herself.
This was all about Matty.
She slumped back into the chair at the kitchen table and wiggled her mouse to open the screen again, hoping beyond hope that in the five minutes it had taken to put Matty down for his nap, the perfect job might have somehow suddenly popped onto the top of the employment board.
It hadn’t.
Which meant she had no choice but to call Wyatt.
She fished her cell phone out of the back pocket of her jeans, unlocked the screen and paused, staring at the background picture for a long moment.
It was a photo she’d taken of Matty when her previous roommate Geena’s then boyfriend and now husband had given Matty his Colorado Rockies baseball hat. Matty had been grinning from ear to ear as the bill of the oversize black-and-purple cap dipped low over one eye.
After the first picture, Geena had then turned the hat backward. At that moment, Carolina remembered being struck by how much Matty looked like his father. Wyatt often wore a backward-facing baseball cap when he was out tending to the animals he vetted.
Her stomach knotted as she thumbed through her contact list to where Wyatt’s cell phone number was located. Wyatt was no longer first on her quick-dial list, but though she’d considered doing it many times, she’d never quite been able to bring herself to delete his number entirely.
She was a sentimental fool.
She sniffed softly and shook her head. There was no sense putting off the inevitable.
Wyatt’s phone rang four times before he picked up. Carolina was just about to end the call when she heard his voice. She figured he’d probably seen her name on his caller ID and decided he didn’t want to speak with her just then. Or maybe at all. And this wasn’t the sort of conversation she could leave as a message.
“Carolina?”
Hearing her name on Wyatt’s lips jarred her. She gulped in surprise and nearly punched the end button.
“Yes. It’s m-me.” She stammered to a halt, trying to gather her thoughts.
“How are you settling in?” he asked when she didn’t immediately continue.
It was a leading question in any number of ways.
She let out her breath. “Um—that’s why I’m calling, actually.”
There. She’d said it.
“Great. So when can I see Matty?”
It took her a moment to realize he was referring to her promise to call him once she was settled in, in order to set up a playdate.
She was so not ready.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.”
A lengthy pause followed and Carolina’s throat hitched.
“Sure. Okay. What’s up?”
It hurt to release the air from her lungs, like breathing frost on a cold day. “It’s not really something I want to discuss over the phone. Would it be okay if I meet you at your office?”
“Well, all right. I guess so. I’m out on a house call right now, but I should be back in the office in an hour. Will that be okay for you?”
“Yes, that will actually work out great. That will give me some time to find someone to watch Matty for me while I’m visiting with you.”
“You’re not bringing him with you?” His clipped voice lowered.
“Not this time. Please, Wyatt. I need to speak to you alone. I promise we’ll set something up with Matty, but not right now.”
“In an hour, then.” Wyatt ended the call without so much as a goodbye.
Carolina stared at her cell phone’s orange screen flashing Call Ended and sighed.
This wasn’t going to go well. He was already upset with her, and what she was about to tell him was only going to make things worse.
If only she had any other options...
But she didn’t.
She phoned Katie, who cheerfully agreed to drop by and watch Matty while Carolina conducted what she had nicknamed her unfortunate business. It was better than, say, begging. She was appreciative of her friend, who was always ready to pitch in without asking too many questions. When she got back on her feet, she’d have to buy Katie a nice bouquet of flowers or something as a thank-you gift.
Forty-five minutes later, Carolina was waiting outside Wyatt’s office, rubbing her suddenly clammy palms against the denim of her blue jeans.
Wyatt opened the door before she could knock, his expression a composite of sharp planes and hard lines. He stepped out of the doorway and gestured her inside.
“Sorry about the mess,” he apologized as he followed her through the door. “My administrative assistant moved away about six months ago and somehow I haven’t gotten around to hiring a new one. I thought I might have—” he paused “—moved on by now. Started an office elsewhere.”
So he was still planning to leave town. Carolina had interpreted his conversation with his gran to mean he still had plans abroad, but here was definite confirmation.
Which only served to complicate matters even worse. She had no idea what to do with Wyatt’s relationship with Matty. She only knew she didn’t want her son to be hurt, as she had been by her own father, a man who was out of her life more than he was in. He’d pop in for a weekend or two, take her out someplace fun so she’d think well of him, and then disappear for months. She often thought it would have been better for her had he simply not been there at all.
“Please, sit,” he said, plucking a pile of file folders off a metal folding chair.
Wyatt’s office was no more than an offshoot of the barn on his home property, where he kept not only his own animals, but any under his care who needed close observation. The L-shaped cherrywood desk fit into the back corner, flanked on one side by a metal filing cabinet and on the other by a printer.
Stacks of papers and invoices covered every flat surface in the room. It looked like he hadn’t filed since his administrative assistant had left.
He lifted his Stetson and slicked a hand back through his black hair.
“I had no idea I would have to deal with so much paperwork when I became a vet. It looks like I should have minored in accounting. I keep meaning to get through this mess, but every time I try, I get called away on an emergency. Or I decide I’d rather take the day off and stream a show on television,” he joked.
Her forced chuckle sounded like a witch’s cackle and she cut it off short.
He took a seat on a swivel chair that looked as if it had seen better days.
“So what’s up?” He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees, clasping his hands in front of him. “Is Matty faring all right with the move? I know it can be a little disconcerting to find yourself in new surroundings with a bunch of strangers.”
“Yes, he’s—” Carolina began, but then she shook her head and blew out a breath. “No. He’s not fine.”
Wyatt jerked to his feet, concern clouding his features. He looked ready to do—something. What? Climb aboard his trusty white steed and ride in to save the day?
Unfortunately, that was exactly what she was about to ask him to do.
“Wait. There’s no cause for worry.” She held up her hands and waved him back to his seat. “I’m sorry. This isn’t coming out right. There’s nothing wrong with Matty. That is—”
Her sentence drifted off into silence. This was way harder than she’d anticipated, and she’d already been certain it was going to be excruciatingly painful.
“I haven’t been able to find a job,” she forced out. “And it’s not for want of looking.”
She dropped her gaze. She just couldn’t stand to look into Wyatt’s eyes and admit she was a failure as a mom. To see the I told you so in his stare.
“I see.” He leaned back and crossed his arms.
“Employment as a nurse, I mean. I’m still actively looking for something—anything, at this point, really—and I’m sure it won’t be long before a job of some sort comes up, but in the meantime—”
“You’d like me to help you support Matty.”
Wyatt could certainly be blunt when he wanted to be. She felt like he’d just stabbed her in the heart.
Repeatedly.
“Carolina.” His voice was surprisingly tender. She didn’t know what she had expected.
Anger. Frustration. Disgust, even.
Just not this.
She couldn’t handle the gentleness that made him so good as a vet. It was the one emotion she had no armor strong enough to resist.
He tipped up her chin with his index finger.
“I will give Matty—and you—whatever you need.”
“Don’t worry about me,” she said, her stubborn streak rising despite knowing that this whole meeting depended on her remaining humble and taking whatever Wyatt dished out.
“No, Carolina. That’s not how this goes. I’m going to help both of you, any way I can. I have total confidence that you’ll find a decent job and get back on your feet in no time.”
“You do?” she asked through a dry throat.
“I do. But whether or not you’re employed, I am Matty’s father. I have both a right and a responsibility to contribute to his support, financially and in every other way.”
“I never meant for you—”
“To find out I had a son?” he cut in brusquely.
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Good. Then it’s settled.”
He crouched down before the bottom drawer of the file cabinet and opened it. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but there were several metallic clicks and bumps.
After a moment, he stood up and turned around, his hand now full of hundred-dollar bills. Carolina guessed he held close to two thousand dollars.
Her eyes widened, and she was fairly certain she was gaping. When she had asked for help, she hadn’t meant two months of total support. A small loan was all.
“Wyatt, I can’t take this.”
“Of course you can. It’s only a couple thousand dollars. I’m sure I’m further behind on my child support payments than that.”
“No. You’ve got this all wrong. I don’t expect you to try to make up for—”
He held up a hand and laughed drily.
“That was a joke. Not a very good one, apparently.”
He reached for her hand and tucked the bills into her palm, closing her fingers around the money. When he pulled back, his elbow hit a stack of invoices, sending papers floating to the floor in every direction.
Wyatt groaned. “Oh, great. And wouldn’t you know those were the ones I already had in a semblance of order.”
Despite herself, Carolina chuckled.
“I think maybe you need a little help.”
“More than a little,” he agreed, and then his eyes lit up and he cocked his head at her.
He paused for so long that she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.
“Can you file?”
“Can’t everyone?” She raised her eyebrows. “Unless you’re talking about medical filing, which is a whole other thing. But regular filing? That’s just a matter of knowing your ABCs, right? And I’ve been consistently practicing them with Matty since the time he was six months old. I’m officially a pro.”
“You’re hired.”
“I’m—” she sputtered. “Excuse me, what?”
“You’re hired,” he repeated, his grin widening. “It’s the perfect solution.”
“What’s perfect?” She wasn’t following his train of thought at all, and from the gratified expression on Wyatt’s face, she wasn’t certain she wanted to know what he was thinking.
“The answer to both of our dilemmas. I need help organizing my pathetic excuse for an office, and you need a job. I’ll pay you the going rate for an administrative assistant and you won’t be accepting charity.”
“Yes, but—”
She’d been going to protest that she was thoroughly unqualified for the position, but hadn’t she just this morning decided she would take whatever she could get? And really, how hard could it be?
In truth, working as his administrative assistant wasn’t a half-bad idea. If it were anyone except Wyatt, she knew she would be jumping all over this opportunity.
But it was Wyatt who was offering.
Could she really work alongside him as if they had no past together? As if they didn’t share a son?
Could she manage the emotions she knew would sneak up on her when she wasn’t paying attention?
“I’ll sweeten the pot.” He looked enthusiastic, maybe even a little smug.
Her eyes narrowed on him. He was making this way too easy for her.
“How?”
“Have you made arrangements for Matty’s day care yet?” He crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the desk, looking casually at ease.
Which was the exact opposite of how she was feeling right now. Her shoulders tightened as he pointed out yet another of her recent failings.
“I’m working on it,” she admitted cautiously.
Could his grin get any wider?
Her frown deepened, directly mirroring the spreading of his smile.
“You can bring Matty with you to the office. You won’t have child care expenses, and I’ll be able to spend some time getting to know my son better. What do you say, Carolina?”
He rocked forward in anticipation of her answer. He looked as hopeful as a boy on his first fishing trip, holding his pole and waiting for a bite.
What could she say?
Wyatt deserved to know his son. She knew that. But how could she protect Matty’s heart if Wyatt was ultimately going to leave him behind?
On the other hand, she needed the job and someone to watch Matty. In his determination to get to know his son, Wyatt had offered her the answer to both dilemmas. At least this way she would be in the room to supervise their interactions.
But even knowing it was the right thing to do, she still had to force the words through tight lips.
“I think we’d better set up that playdate.”