How I Don’t Know

This is the way I don’t know anything:

I add the same column of numbers

over and over, I listen to songs

about the old sea, startle to find

myself rooting around in the cupboards.

What are you looking for? I ask,

and I don’t know. Well, what

might not be wrong? I ask. Maybe

knitting, maybe walking to the library.

This is the way I walk to the library:

in a circle there and back, taking

steps. Threading the bead

of walking to the library onto

the circlet of my day. The more

beads you thread onto a bracelet,

the bigger it gets, too many

and it slides right off, the way

my days get by me and by me

and still I don’t know

how to figure out what it is

I need.

This is how I talk to God about it all:

a little too fast, a little too wild—

daily bread—daily—okay—okay