Nine

Nico

Another useless conversation later, I push to my feet. At the mention of Jericho, Matt and Derek exchanged glances. They confirmed the little shit split, disappeared underground or farther. Maybe Mexico, South America. Nowhere I can find him and force a confession. Jericho was the first to take Josh under his wing, invite him to ride along on their drug runs. Asking him to drive this car here, drop that package there, giving him enough information but not too much.

Smart for a street kid—when things go sour, always good to have a patsy.

I drag my hand over my head, discouraged. Another disappointment in an already challenging day. Being around Raven has me twisted in knots. Talking to her on the beach was a window to how good we could be together, my attraction to the woman has me ready to crawl out of my skin, but that call from Alessi has muddled my mind. I’ve thought of little else since. Tried to figure out if Raven’s history could push its way back into her life. Heroin is no joke. I see the grip it has on my sister, how every day is a battle. Nothing about Raven hints at a drug problem, but she’s heading into stressful times, and those demons sneak up on you when least expected.

Rubbing the invisible ache in my chest, I glance around. Betty’s still grumbling about her blanket, most other people ignoring me. The first time I came down here, they scattered like crabs on a beach. They’re used to me now; know I’m not here to arrest them. And sometimes I bring food. I twist farther, but don’t see Raven. Apprehension grips my gut. She was just there, snapping pictures. I swallow hard, hoping to push down my rising unease. I told her not to wander off, told her these folks can’t be trusted. Sure, most of them are decent enough, but lots carry blades and hold grudges and would love to take advantage of a pretty girl. My mind flashes to stab wounds and bruised faces, too many cases I’ve worked ending poorly.

Then someone shrieks.

I played football in high school, my size and power an asset as a defensive end. I was quick, too, considering. When that ball snapped, I’d be on the quarterback or running back in seconds. That cry has me moving faster than at our championship game.

Loose gravel flies underfoot, dust churning the air as I peel around a block of concrete. Some guy is on the ground curled in a ball, moaning, Raven above him, camera shaking in her grasp. She looks scared as hell, but she’s in one piece. Wish I could say the same about me.

I wrap her in my arms and squeeze.

“Easy, big guy.” Her light tone doesn’t hide her trembling shoulders, or how tight she’s fisting my shirt. “I can barely breathe.”

I ease my hold. Slightly. “You okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

Still breathing hard, she looks down between us at her legs. “Technically I’m fine. But I need to burn these jeans. My knee made contact with bare testicle.”

Fury nearly blinds me. “That man exposed himself to you?”

She nods, and my pulse rages. How could I have let this happen? I shouldn’t have brought her here, should never have let her out of my sight. I barrel over to the man, ready to slam his head into concrete. He’s already lifted himself up and is sitting hunched over, cradling his nuts. Enjoy them while they exist, buddy. When his shifty gaze slides my way, my adrenaline crashes. “Fucking Christ, Joe. What the hell are you doing?”

“You know him?”

I curse under my breath, avoiding Raven’s shocked glare. “Joe here has some mental health issues. I met his sister once and said I’d watch out for him. But”—I crowd Joe until he cowers—“I ever catch you whipping out your junk in front of a lady, it’s a one-way ticket to lockup. You understand?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Joe understands. Sorry.” He prattles on, hand between his legs, as he hurries to the demolished building’s inner sanctum.

“You certainly know how to pick your friends.”

I whip my head around. “Did he touch you?”

“No. Just looked…and touched himself. Now I feel bad, though. He probably didn’t realize I was scared.”

I cringe and scratch my jaw. “He’s never done that before. Not that I’ve seen, at least. For the most part he’s harmless, but exposure isn’t cool. You sure you’re okay?”

Unable to keep away, I move in front of her and run a hand down her arm. She nods and shivers at the touch, but I can’t tell if it’s from me or the shock. I never should have suggested this. I should have taken her to dinner instead of a slum. Somewhere with candles on the table and white napkins. I’d order the red wine she likes and hold her hand and have her to myself for a while. I’d treat her so damn nice.

I still want to do that for her, with her. Build on our new foundation. But I can’t get past Alessi’s call. Every second together, it’s harder to maintain my cool. When she flirts, holding back is agony. Even now my arms itch to circle her again, pull her against me. Instead I release her arm. “We should probably leave.”

She rolls her camera from hand to hand. “Can we stay a bit longer? There are a few shots I’d like to catch. But only if you keep close.”

I may be messed in the head where she’s concerned, but she’d have to pry me away with a crowbar. “Yeah. I’ll keep close.”

Nodding, she touches my waist, a gesture of reassurance maybe, but the sensation travels to my groin. I’ve had dry spells before. Unlike Sawyer in his day, I don’t get off on meaningless flings. But this is the longest I’ve ever gone, and shady past or not, this is the most desperate I’ve been for a woman. I even love how tough Raven is. How she can hold her own with a man like Joe. Not branding her with a kiss is the worst kind of torture.

For the next half hour, I stand where she stands—legs wide, arms crossed—like her personal bouncer. The blue sky fades to navy, evening encroaching. A couple more fires are lit, people returning from begging on the street. It’s easy to point fingers and assume these folks made their beds. Some have. But Betty didn’t ask for her husband to die, leaving her with a mountain of debt. Joe, who’s got one chance left with me, can’t always make sense of the world around him. And Raven gets it. I’d never have brought a woman here before, never have shared this part of my life. It’s all easy with her.

“You ready?” I ask as she lowers her camera.

“Sure. I just want to make sure I got these last frames.” She glances at me. “You want to see?”

She lifts the camera, and I lean over her shoulder. The digital images flip across her viewfinder, some detailed close-ups, others wide-angles. I’m no photography buff, but she’s captured something, all right. The grittiness of the street. The heart, too. All with her charcoal eyes. By the time she lowers the camera, I’m so close my chest touches her back, her ass flush with my thighs. Before I know what I’m doing, I wrap my hands around her hips, so small in my grasp. I lower my mouth to her ear. “This is what you’re meant to do.”

Her breath catches, but she doesn’t speak. Then, “You really like them?”

“They’re remarkable.” I don’t tell her how remarkable she is, but I need to talk to her about her past soon. Ask outright if anything could come back to haunt her, find its way to my doorstep. My family’s. This is what I do, though. Internalize. My mother gives me shit about it. Broody, she calls me. Always letting things fester. I just don’t like to speak until my mind’s clear. Not say regretful things like I did to Josh the night he took off. And Raven could get pissed, defensive. If my words come out wrong, if I’m making more of this than I should, I could lose her trust again.

Thoughts tangled, I step back.

She lets her camera hang loose from her neck. “Thanks for bringing me here, even with that whole Joe thing.”

I grind my molars, still pissed I wasn’t there for her when it counted. “Sorry about that, but I’m glad you got some good shots.”

She glides her fingers down my forearm. “Me, too.”

And damn, the look she gives me? One glance from her sultry eyes is like sixty thousand cheering football fans, and I don’t want to give that up. I want another kiss, deeper, wilder, nothing but need and lust in her breathy sounds.

Frustrated, I nod toward the fence and spread my hand on her lower back, guiding her. It’s my favorite place to touch. In Aspen I kissed my way down her spine, explored all that sexy ink, pausing at the top of her ass and tracing the lines of the pirate ship sailing across her tailbone. I never asked what it symbolizes, what most of her ink represents. Only her rose and feather tattoos. She shared those with me. She also offered up another vulnerable piece of herself at the beach, and here I am, tossing in an anchor, halting our progress.

She breathes deeper, as if trying to press into me. “Have you made any headway, looking for Rose?” Her voice is as soft as the breeze, but there’s a nervous undercurrent.

I pause, unsure how much to share. I don’t want to get her hopes up, only to have them dashed. “Nothing concrete, but there’s a chance she’s living in Fraser Valley.”

Her shoulders shoot toward her ears. “That was fast.”

I stop at the gap in the fence. “She hasn’t lived at the address on her license for five years, but one of the women there said she’d moved to an apartment downtown. That led to two more places and a guy who thinks she lives on a farm in the valley. Some sort of communal agriculture thing. Might be a long shot, but worth checking out.”

“That must have taken hours.”

I nod. “My partner owed me a favor.”

I pull back the metal chain link and help Raven through to the other side. Once I join her, she grabs my wrist. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but will you come with me? When I look for her? If not, it’s no big deal. I can ask Shay or Lily or go on my own. It’s just—”

“We’re doing this together.” My tone is more vehement than intended. I’ve barely recovered from what could have happened with Joe. She doesn’t know what she’s walking into. It could be dangerous. Physically. Emotionally. I plan to be there for her, regardless of this other crap screwing with my head. “I have night shifts starting tomorrow, which means it’ll be a bit before we can go. Probably five days. We should plan to stay overnight, in case we need to follow leads.”

She exhales a slow breath. “Thank you.”

We walk on, and she interlaces our fingers. I let her. Crave the feel of her smooth skin. Her hand is so tiny in mine. So soft. It feels so good. A few steps later, she swings our hands like we’re in grade school. “Although I’ll be so nervous I might puke, this trip could be fun. I mean, now that I know you’ll be coming, there’s lots to look forward to.”

I’m not sure what happened to the Raven who wanted to take things slow, but her teasing voice drips with innuendo, and I can’t resist playing along. “What if I decide I don’t want to come?”

She drags a nail down the meaty part of my thumb, rough and deliberate. “It would be a shame. You said yourself you haven’t been to the Valley in a long while. I bet you really miss it.”

I groan—a pained sound from the back of my throat. Can’t even find my voice to reply.

That doesn’t stop Raven. “I hear it’s quite warm down there. It would be a shame to miss out, unless you don’t remember how to find your way.” Her suggestive wink almost kills me.

I shouldn’t keep flirting, not when I haven’t been honest with her about my concerns, but it’s too tempting. “I know my way just fine. Enjoy the scenic route, actually. Taking my time. Finding secret places to explore.”

It’s her turn to whimper, and my skin tightens at the image of a naked Raven writhing on a bed. My cock gets heavy. I’m breathing hard by the time we reach my truck.

She leans her back into the door and grabs my belt loops, pulling me in front of her. “Thanks again for everything. For today, for looking for Rose. It means a lot.”

She tips her chin up, drags me closer, and everything else fades. My uncertainty. My questions. I can’t deny myself this. I plant my hands on either side of her and dip my head down, taking a taste, a soft brush of our lips. Heat suffuses my chest, hunger fires my gut. The kiss deepens, and I suck on her bottom lip. She nips mine. My dick throbs, reminding me just how long it’s been. Tongues tangling, her fingers dig into the base of my skull, and I push my thigh between hers as we move closer. And closer.

Before things pass the point of no return, I create some distance. “Damn.”

She hums. “Yeah.”

I run my thumb over her swollen lips. “That was quite a thank-you, but it’s not necessary. I’m helping because I want to.”

“Okay, but if I buy slushies for our drive as a not-a-thank-you, what flavor would you want?”

Even after the Joe disaster, she has me chuckling. “Those things are bad for you.”

Her attention drifts down to my waist. And lower. “Sometimes the stuff that’s bad for you tastes the best.”

Isn’t that the truth? Whisking her home and having my way with her is becoming harder to resist. If I don’t get my head straight, spending a night alone with her in Fraser Valley will kill me.

We hop in the car and chat lightly on the drive, but I’m wound up. By the time I drop her off, I’m restless, the Joe incident and Raven’s proximity feeding my agitation. I could hit the gym or pound out some miles on the pavement, run until I can’t feel my legs, but a beer with the guys is what I need. A sounding board. Time to unload and decide how best to approach Raven about her past.

I pull out my phone to text Sawyer. You in for beers?

Definitely. I’ll check with Kolton.

Meet at Diamonds in ten.

*  *  *

I have a pitcher, three glasses, and a booth claimed by the time the boys arrive. They slide in opposite me and pour themselves a round, not bothering with a word until they toss back a generous swallow.

Sawyer plants his glass down with a thud. “Beer is shit as always.”

“Tunes are shit, too.” Kolton winces as some classic Hank Williams strums from the speakers.

Classic, meaning old, like everything in this place: the juke box that doesn’t work, the pool tables with the cigarette burns on the felt, the bartender, Doug, who likely survived World War One. The beer is never cold enough, the dartboard falls every time you hit the target, but we’ve been coming here since they’d serve us without IDs.

“You guys don’t know from good tunes.” I could listen to Hank all day.

Sawyer sticks a finger in his ear. “Tell that to my eardrums.” He turns to Kolton. “Has Shay been working on this new business as much as Lily?”

Kolton shrugs. “She clocks a lot of hours. Locks herself in the basement office.”

I nod to Sawyer. “You feeling left out?”

He scowls into his beer. “All I know is, between designing for us part-time and selling purses and starting up this new event gig, Lily hasn’t had much free time.”

Kolton pats his back. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“It’s like he’s learning to walk,” I say. “Except his feet are tied together. The man doesn’t know how to function on his own anymore.”

“The man, for your information, is sitting at this table. And I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better joke than that.”

Kolton drums a thumb on the table. “Probably not spelled correctly.”

Ignoring him, Sawyer drains his beer.

I kick his foot. “That ring’s still on Lily’s necklace, not her finger. You making headway in the marriage department?”

“Wish I knew. She twists the thing all the time, like she can’t stop thinking about it. Drives me crazy. Every time I look at her, I glance down, hoping to see it on her finger. Maybe I haven’t done enough. Time will tell, I guess.”

Kolton grins. “If you asked me a year ago what was more likely: Sawyer proposing to a girl or Sawyer winning gold in rhythmic gymnastics, I’d have bet my savings on the leotard and ribbon. Goes to show you.”

“That you’re so dumb your Patronus is a snail?” Sawyer chuckles at his own joke.

Kolton’s reply: “Someone should have told you sniffing paint kills brain cells.”

We sip our beers.

“Is it hard on you, too?” I ask Kolton. “Shay working so much?”

“Nope. She does better when she’s busy. Loves working and having a project on the go. Best for all parties involved. We still find time to hang out, with Jackson and on our own.”

He leans forward, his long hair barely covering his smile. Shay may push his buttons, the two of them often arguing, but they fit, like joists aligned in a house. Like Lily and Sawyer work, although I have no idea how she tolerates him. I frown, unsure our meet and greet in Aspen will have as happy an ending for Raven and me.

Kolton knocks his glass against mine. “Were you working tonight?”

“No. I was out with Raven.”

“Things okay with Josh?”

I bristle at the question. “My last lead disappeared, and the punk just got his GED. I don’t have the balls to tell him it’s not worth planning for the future.”

“Sorry, man.” Kolton empties the pitcher into his glass and stands. “But you should be proud. And maybe something will come together last minute. I’ll get this round.” He walks over to the bar and sits on a stool, jug in hand, waiting for Doug to stop chatting with the regulars. Might take a while.

Sawyer stretches out on his side of the booth. “Let’s rewind to the part where you said you were out with a certain tattooed vixen. What’s the deal?”

I spin my glass on the table, wanting to rewind farther. To the way she felt against me at my truck, how her soft lips yielded to mine. “I’m into her.”

“Right, but that’s like me saying I love a particular comic book. You always fall hard for the ladies.”

He’s seen too much for me to tell him to fuck off. “She’s different. I can talk to her about Josh and the stuff I do at the rec center. It’s easy.” And there’s that deep connection I can’t try to explain.

“So what’s the holdup?”

Sawyer knows me. Gets that he has to ask questions, force me to reveal the hard truths. The man is as good as family. “You know how some punk stole her wallet?” He nods, and I go on, “Someone at the station found it, and they put her name into the system. Turns out she has a record. Intense shit that kind of shook me.” I lock eyes with him. “There’s a charge for heroin possession.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. I’m wary to get involved, have her around my sister. The kids. I don’t know who her friends are outside of Shay and Lily, if they’ll visit her here. What that might bring. But I’m already hooked. I’m helping her find her sister, and it’s brought up a lot of heavy stuff for her, too. She doesn’t want to spread herself thin, and I’m using it as an excuse to keep her at arm’s length, but I’m struggling. Not sure how to process it all.”

Sensing my agitation, he plants his elbows on the table. “So you’re saying you think she’s using? That she’s used recently?”

“No. I’d be able to tell, and I haven’t even asked her about it.” I rub my hand over my mouth. “Things are really fragile with Nikki. With Josh. I just heard the word heroin, and it freaked me out.”

“Bro, honestly? You’re getting way ahead of yourself, and you’re judging her without giving her a chance. From what I know of Raven, she’s a cool chick. Solid. You can’t expect to meet someone without a past. Can’t expect perfection. Except from me, obviously.”

I’d chide him for his last comment, but his words hit below the belt. He hasn’t had to take a sibling to the ER with vomit caked to her skin. Hasn’t wondered if his brother would wind up on the five o’clock news because he’d killed someone or been killed. The people closest to me need rules. Tough love. Strict boundaries. I need the rigor, to get me through. But he’s right. I haven’t given Raven a chance to explain. I’ve done nothing but let my imagination run wild.

“Assuming you’re right, and I’m being an overreacting prick, how do I broach this without pissing her off?”

Sawyer squints at me like I’m nuts. “You sure you want to be asking me that question? I’m the guy who broke my girlfriend’s heart because I thought I was doing her a favor. Your instincts have got to be better than mine.”

“Solid point.”

“Actually, scratch that. You sending that dodge ball into Eve Hamilton’s face to get her attention was classic. Worst plan in the history of the world.”

I cough on my beer and pound my chest. “Seemed like a good idea at the time. And how was I supposed to know she wasn’t wearing her contacts?”

“I’m surprised she didn’t relocate your nuts. Should we make a wager, though? Bet that your tact still hovers around the sixteen-year-old mark?”

Sawyer can be a total asshole, but at least he gets me laughing. Loosens me up. “Last time you lost a bet, things didn’t work out so good for you.”

He shrugs a shoulder. “Lily liked my smooth legs. And I only cried for the first half of the waxing.”

I’d rather have my leg hairs ripped out one by one than piss Raven off, but we’re overdue for a serious conversation. My ability to read people is usually fine-tuned. Comes with the job. With Raven, my emotions are too invested. Everything’s too clouded with the heat she stirs in my blood.

“One word of advice,” he adds. “If you do hook up with Raven, maybe hold back the ‘I love you’ crap until you’re sure, especially with these unknowns. You set speed records with the mushy stuff.”

I grunt, and we sip our beers and listen to George Jones sing about his broken heart while Kolton gets sucked into conversation with Doug. The ancient dude could talk the oxygen from the air. A commercial flashes on the silent TV behind the bar—an ad for a high-tech superglue. I immediately want Sawyer to challenge me on another bet. The possibilities with that glue are endless.

Kolton plunks a fresh pitcher on the table. “Apparently Doug’s alarm clock went off late this morning, and the paperboy’s been tossing his paper too deep on his lawn.”

“Good to know.” Sawyer juts his chin toward the crappy pool tables. “Should we rack ’em up?”

We both nod, and I stretch my legs. Smacking a bunch of balls around should help get my mind off Raven awhile. Stop me picturing us in a motel room, my rough hands charting a map over her inked skin. Her ankles digging into my shoulders. Our sweat-slicked bodies sliding. My deep thrusts.

The pool should help, but it doesn’t. I barely sink a goddamn shot.