Aristotle.......................AIR-is-tot-el
Confucius.....................Con-FYOO-shes (like “confusion”)
Descartes.....................Day-CART
Erasmus........................Ir-ASS-muss
Kant.............................KAHNT
Kierkegaard..................KEER-ki-guard
Machiavelli....................Mock-ee-ah-VEL-lee
Nietzsche......................NEE-cha
Plato.............................PLAY-toe
Sartre............................SAR-tra
Schopenhauer...............SHOW-pen-how-er
Socrates.......................SOCK-ra-tease
Sun Tzu........................SOON ZOO
Botticelli ......................Bot-i-CHEL-lee
Brueghel.......................BROY-gull
Cézanne ..............Say-ZON
Chagall ........................Sha-GALL
Dalí..............................DA-lee
Da Vinci.......................Da VIN-chee
Degas...........................Day-GA
Delacroix......................Del-a-QUA
Duchamp......................Doo-SHAN
Gauguin........................Go-GAN
Gentileschi....................Gen-tile-LESS-ski
Hokusai........................HOE-koo-sigh
Klee.............................CLAY
Magritte.......................Ma-GREET
Manet..........................Ma-NAY
Matisse........................Ma-TEESE
Miró............................Mee-ROW
Monet..........................Moan-NAY
Munch.........................MOONK
Raphael.......................RA-fay-el
Renoir.........................REN-war
Rodin..........................ROW-dan
Seurat.........................Se-RA
Toulouse-Lautrec........Too-LOOSE Lo-TRECK
Van Dyck...................Van DIKE
Van Gogh...................Van GO
Aristophanes...............Air-is-TOF-an-ees
Baudelaire...................Bode-a-LARE
Brontë.........................BRON-tay
Camus........................Cam-OO
Capote.......................Ca-PO-tee
Cervantes...................Sir-VON-tease
Cocteau.....................Cock-TOE
Dante.........................DON-tay
Dostoyevsky..............Dost-ta-YEF-ski
Dumas.......................Doo-MA
Flaubert.....................Flow-BEAR
García Márquez.........Gar-SEE-ah MAR-kez
Goethe......................GER-ta
Kafka.......................COUGH-ka
Kundera....................Coon-DUH-ra
Maugham..................MOM
Molière.....................Mole-YARE
Nabokov..................Na-BOK-ov
Poe...........................PO
Pynchon....................PIN-chin
Rabelais....................RAB-a-lay
Rushdie.....................RUSH-dee
Shakespeare..............SHAKE-spear
Solzhenitsyn...............Soul-jen-EAT-zen
Yeats.........................YATES
Mom and Dad—I’ve got something big I need to tell you. Your baby boy/girl is coming home! And not just for a visit this time—for good.
I’ve decided that college just isn’t working out for me. And believe me, I’ve discussed this with the dean, my advisors, and several professors, so I’m very sure about it. In a while I’ll probably be ready to try school again, at another college, one that is a better fit for my strengths and abilities. This just wasn’t the right time and place.
Due to a whole tangle of academic rules and regulations—which were part of the problem, actually— you’ll be getting a letter from the dean. Officially, of course, he has to come up with some important-sounding explanations and a lot of exaggerated descriptions of what I’ve done and not done, and reasons for not refunding the tuition.
But that’s not important. What is important is that I miss you guys, and I think that it’s best if I leave school now. After all, isn’t college really about figuring out who you are and want to be?
I love you both very much. Please send a plane ticket and money to the local youth hostel, where I’m now staying. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Love,
Your son/daughter