I had never felt so anxious and out of sorts.

My God, you’d have thought one orgasm would have satisfied me for the rest of the night. But Nico grinding himself against me in the pool like that had worked me up into another frenzy, the likes of which I’d never dealt with before.

The only thing I could think of to alleviate the throbbing ache between my legs was my handy dandy arsenal of toys that yes, I’d managed to fit inside one of my three suitcases, as Nico had eluded to the day we left Moscow.

I didn’t know how much longer he was going to be downstairs with Cris.

Didn’t know if we’d even pick up where we’d left off.

And I needed relief immediately.

I didn’t even bother going for one of my fancier dildos. I just swiped up my trusty bullet that I’d kept in the nightstand drawer, fell onto my bed, and spread my legs wide on the comforter. My imagination quickly went to work as I turned the vibration setting up as high as it would go and placed the toy right over that magical bundle of nerves.

Nico sucking my clit into his mouth.

Nico ravaging my neck as he dry-humped me against his car.

Nico’s rumbly voice telling me I had a virgin-tight cunt, that I was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen, that he’d wanted to bend me over and fuck me in the middle of that club in Rovinj.

“Christ, please tell me that’s because of me.”

I jerked backward on the bed but didn’t remove the bullet from its sweet spot. Nico stood in the doorway of my bedroom, white-knuckling the frame, heated gaze locked on my hands. He looked crazed, wild. Like he was going to take the whole wall down if he didn’t let go soon.

“I wasn’t lying about being able to take care of my own problems,” I panted.

“I’m sorry you felt the need to.”

I grinned. “Do you see me complaining?”

He still stared at my center, appearing dumbstruck. “I’m a little hurt I wasn’t invited to this party.”

My tone turned placating. “I couldn’t wait.”

He nodded slowly. “I know the feeling.”

“You know”—I pulled the bullet away and pointed it in his direction—“you did tell me you know how to use these toys on my body better than I do. Care to prove that?”

He took a step inside the room, then another. Measured steps, as if he didn’t trust himself to go too fast. “As much as that idea appeals to me—and you have no idea how much—I think right now I’d rather watch you finish yourself off.”

I got the sense that sex wasn’t going to happen tonight. Our moment was ruined, and it strangely didn’t feel like the right time to go back and try to reclaim it.

Masturbating in front of him, however, I could more than do.

I returned the toy to my clit, eyes locked on his. This was even better because I had the actual man right in front of me. Standing at the foot of my bed in black sweatpants and a gray T-shirt, he rubbed his palm over his growing bulge as we watched me.

“Fuck it,” he hissed.

He shoved his hand inside his sweatpants and began to jack himself. My eyelids went heavy at the sight, and I pressed the vibrating toy harder against my flesh. I bit my lip as my heels dug into the bed. I wouldn’t last much longer.

I jerked my chin at him. “Lose the shirt.”

His mouth twitched at my take on the command he’d given me last week in the booze bunker. Lose the jeans. He happily obliged, drawing the shirt over his head and exposing his ripped torso to my lecherous gaze. His muscles rippled as he continued to pull on himself, his abs flexing with every stroke.

“Fuck yourself for me, Lex,” he rasped. “Fuck yourself to me. I want to know that your little toys aren’t enough anymore. You have to think of me when you pet yourself now, don’t you? You have to picture me, hear my voice in your head, when you need to cream. Don’t you?”

“Yes.”

I moved my hand faster. He moved his faster. Our gazes never strayed from one another.

“Seeing me half naked and jerking myself while I watch you makes you drip, doesn’t it? You’re drenched. I can motherfucking see it.”

“Yes, yes, yes.”

That coiled tension inside my belly was about to snap loose. The pulsing began as the throbbing intensified to the point I almost couldn’t stand it. It was coming on too fast and not fast enough. I was having difficulty catching my breath.

“You need me,” he growled. “Don’t you, Lexi? You need me, you want me, you can’t fucking stand not having me anymore. Tell me I’m right!”

“YES!”

“Then soak the goddamn sheets and come for me!”

I threw my head back and jackknifed off the bed. My screams were met by his thunderous bellows. It was so ridiculously intense that tears leaked out the corners of my eyes. By the time I drifted down back to earth, Nico had wiped himself clean with his shirt and looked seconds away from clawing my sheets to shreds until he got to me.

He swung his shirt over his shoulder and dropped his arms to his sides, hands clenching into fists. His gaze lasered in on my sex, his tongue dragging across his lower lip.

He nodded. “Soon.”

Then he walked out and closed the door behind him.

 

 

I found myself surrounded by a horde of children the next day.

Because all I’d been able to do at Nico’s house while he was at work was fantasize about the man.

Deciding I needed to be more productive at something other than giving myself orgasms, I’d called my new mother-in-law. Val had been all too excited to have me join her at the One Heart One Hand Center, a foundation that assisted the homeless population, offering various job training and placement programs, as well as financial advisement. In addition, they also ran several youth programs, including child care. I was told the foundation started in Washington, D.C. years ago and now had branches in several major cities along the East Coast.

“You’re good with them.”

I had just finished reading a story to a group of six-year-olds, who felt the need to hilariously discuss it at length afterwards, and sent them off to enjoy snack time with a few other volunteers

“Children are much easier to work with than adults,” I mused to Val. “Less complicated and more innocent. What you see is what you get.”

She nodded. “Children are rather simple creatures. All they really want at the end of the day is to be loved. My heart breaks every time I see a child who doesn’t even have that.”

It felt like she’d hit a bruise on my heart with those words, as they were so terribly close to home.

“Isn’t that what we all want at the end of the day?” I asked. “To be loved?”

She inclined her head knowingly at me. With her warm chocolate eyes, olive skin, and stylish bob that had only a few streaks of gray, Val was a very beautiful woman. And with Enzo being so handsome… I could see where their sons had all gotten their good looks from.

“I think most people do, yes,” she answered. “Even commitment-phobic thirty-three-year-olds who’ve sworn up and down they’d never get married, yet who wed themselves to lovely, kind-hearted women purely for business reasons.”

I lowered my head, blushing. “Why do I feel like that comment was a little on the nose?”

“Because you’re an intelligent woman.”

Taking pity on me, she suspended her scrutinizing stare to help me clean up the play area where I’d read to the children.

“I know Nico has his faults, but he truly is a good man. Even if he doesn’t think he is.”

I cast her a side glance. “What do you mean?”

She sighed. “No one has greater expectations of Nico than Nico himself. He sets the bar higher than anyone else would. I know everyone thinks he’s a lackadaisical goofball, but I think he works himself far harder than anyone sees. In fact, I think he pushes himself too hard.”

Considering the fact that I’d rarely seen him not working since I’d met him—except during our frenzied masturbatory sessions, of course—I’d have to agree with her.

“His work ethic does seem to be…demanding.”

She finished reassembling a wooden puzzle and placed it on a stack with all the others. “I’m afraid his father put too much pressure on him when he was younger, being the first-born and all. Nico felt the weight of his future responsibilities and somehow got it in his head that he would never rise to the level of achievement we expected. Of course, that was never the case. All Enzo and I have ever wanted for our children is for them to be happy.”

Seeing her slumped shoulders, hearing the dejected tone in her voice, I felt compelled to comfort her. “I don’t think he’s unhappy. In fact, I think he works as hard as he does in order to make you and Enzo happy.”

She smiled. “You’re very sweet, Lexi. I can see why he looks at you the way he does.”

I felt my cheeks flush as I tucked my hair behind my ear. “I think what you’re seeing is contempt. Not affection.”

She chuckled. “Like I said, you’re intelligent. I think you know better. All I know with certainty is that Nico treats you differently than any woman I’ve ever seen him with. Which tells me that you are different. In a good way.”

I turned so she wouldn’t see the way her words affected me. “Whether I am or not won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Once Nico acquires the rest of my father’s shares in Kozlov Industries, he’ll terminate the marriage. He was never in this for the long haul.”

“Do you want him to be?”

I couldn’t answer. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I also didn’t know what the truth was.

“Are you, Lexi?” she pushed. “In it for the long haul?”

I peeked at her over my shoulder, shrugging. “I don’t think what I am or what I want will matter in the end. This marriage was arranged without my input, and I foresee it being terminated without my input.”

I flinched, regretting my words.

This was her son we were talking about. She probably didn’t want to hear of my resentment over the situation. Even if Val wouldn’t be my mother-in-law for much longer, I wanted her to like me. As pathetic as it was, she was the closest thing to a mother figure I’d ever had. And I hadn’t even known her a full two weeks.

“You’re wrong about that,” she said slyly. “This is your life, too, Lexi. You have every right to speak up and let Nico know how you feel. Just because the marriage was arranged doesn’t mean it has to define your whole relationship. The two of you have to make it whatever you want it to be. After all, I’ve sensed some affection coming from you, too.”

I’d sensed a hell of a lot more than that in the pool.

And in my bedroom.

There was a lot left unsaid hovering in the air around me and Nico.

I think Val was right. Even someone like Nico just needed to be loved at the end of the day, even if he wouldn’t admit it. When he’d pried all those confessions from me in the pool, he’d acted as if he couldn’t have gone another second without hearing that affirmation. That I wanted him, needed him.

But he hadn’t exactly reciprocated, had he?

He’d called me beautiful and had needed to hold me, but that was it.

So, I wasn’t going to get my hopes up about this thing with Nico going the distance. I was already starting to like the man. Given time, I could see it evolving into something more. But time wasn’t something we had a lot of. Our relationship was on a countdown, and we didn’t know when it was going to time out. My father could summon me back to Moscow at a moment’s notice, thereby severing any progress Nico and I had made.

Believing we could turn this faux marriage into a real relationship was a foolish notion.

A romantic, naïve dream.

I didn’t want to get this sweet woman’s hopes up either, so I didn’t respond to Val’s last comment. We cleaned up in silence for a few more minutes, my mind plagued with every “what if” scenario in the book.

“May I ask you a personal question?” she eventually said.

“Sure.” Although I wasn’t sure I’d want to answer it.

“You said you like to work with children.” Her face softened. “Does that mean you want some of your own one day?”

My chest constricted. Again, I didn’t want to disappoint her, but I also didn’t want to give her false hope. “I’ve always assumed that I’d eventually have children. When I found the right person and the time was right.” I waved my arm around, chuckling mirthlessly. “But I also didn’t expect my life to take this turn. Who knows if I’m even meant to be a mother.”

Val tilted her head, studying me. Wheels turned behind her deep brown eyes. “You are. I see a light in you, one of rare humility and generosity. In my opinion, people like that should be parents, because so many who have been blessed with children don’t have those qualities. I believe all of my children will make great parents.”

I raised an eyebrow. “And none of them have given you grandchildren yet. Is that what you’re trying to tell me, Val?”

“I said nothing of the sort. Though that is true. It’s also true that I’m not getting any younger, and my impatience grows by the day.”

I laughed. “Well, Cris and Jasmine are getting married soon. Maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll want to start a family right away.”

I almost laughed again when her mouth formed a pout. “I think Jasmine wants a few more years to focus on her career. And who can blame her? She’s worked so hard for her success.”

I patted her on the back. “When it’s supposed to happen, it’ll happen.”

She scoffed. “That’s comforting.”

I might already be in love with this woman.

No wonder her husband and children looked at her like the sun shined out of her arse. She was warm and nurturing, soft-hearted and selfless, and had a keen perception. And that was after six children. Secretly, she was the type of mother I’d always dreamed of having for myself and of also becoming someday. Spending so much time with the children at the Red Gate orphanage, I’d admit, had me yearning for some my own.

Not to mention, I’d like to have a husband who looked at me that way. Children who depended on me that way.

Did Nico want children? Had he ever even thought about it?

Probably not.

I mean, the guy had yet to hang up his bachelor saddle and spurs when I met him. There was no way he’d ever given credence to the possibility of becoming a father. Despite his snarky, sometimes surly, nature, I actually thought he’d make a good parent. He had two great role models to look up to. He had a fierce protective streak in him. And, judging by his demeanor toward his family members, he had a huge capacity for love.

Thank God my phone chimed with a text and yanked me off that train of thought. Because I was starting to picture a mini version of Nico running circles around my feet.

Of course, his name popped up on the screen when I unlocked it. Like an idiot, I was smiling before I even knew what the message said. I just liked seeing his name.

Nico: Heads up, Jasmine’s bachelorette party got moved up. She’ll probably be calling soon to invite you.

Me: I look forward to it. When is it?

Nico: Tonight. Same with Cris’s bachelor party.

Tonight? Geez, what was the rush? I thought their wedding wasn’t for another two months or so.

Me: Guess I’ll have to go shopping for a new dress.

Nico: Need some help? I know a guy with great taste who’s a big fan of your body.

The urge to hand fan myself was almost uncontrollable. Had we officially entered into the casual flirting stage? The one with tons of sexual innuendo and partially veiled propositions?

And they say all that ends after marriage. Heh.

Me: I’m sure I’ll manage. Besides, I think if you came along, you’d only be a distraction.

Nico: Good to know I distract you, legs.

Buoyed by his final text, I stopped at a few stores after leaving the foundation. My favorite options were at the last store, where I closed myself inside a fitting room to try them all on. Getting a delicious idea, I snapped photos of myself in each dress in front of the full-length mirror and sent them off to Nico.

Feeling bold, the last one was of me in nothing but my dark purple demi bra and panty set.

Me: Okay, you said you had great taste. Which one?

His reply came almost instantly.

Nico: The last one. And speaking of great tastes, I want to eat that for dinner.

The impulse to slip my fingers inside my panties nearly knocked me over.

So, I acted on it.

And snapped another photo.

Me: Eat what? This?

Nico: Christ, woman. If I wasn’t in a meeting right now, I’d track you down wherever the fuck you are and make you sorry for teasing me.

Me: Then you shouldn’t be on your phone. Get back to work, Mr. Rossetti.

Nico: You’ll pay for this later.

Me: Sounds like my punishment will have to wait. I’ve got a bachelorette party to go to. ;)

Nico: Say your prayers, little Lexi. Because I’ll be making you scream for your God tonight.

I almost fainted.

A tiny sliver of fear snaked through me. Not fear of the man. But fear of the man’s expectations.

What if I didn’t live up to them? What if I was nothing at all like the sexpot-type women he was used to bedding? The ones who were so confident in their skills that they made a man stand up and beg for what they had to offer. But he’d liked what he’d seen so far, right?

I guess there was no going back now.

Nico Rossetti just all but told me he was going to be inside me by the end of the night.