They drove in silence while Ethan tried to swallow the knot in his throat. Lazaro stared out his window on the passenger side with a purposeful bored expression. Ethan wanted to reach over and smack the look off Lazaro's face.
When he felt he had chewed up his anger enough to form a calm series of sentences, Ethan turned into the parking lot for a restaurant called Buffalo Wild Wings.
Lazaro shifted in his seat. “Good wings here. You hungry?”
Ethan pulled into a parking space without answering. He cut the engine, took a deep breath.
“I want to go see that guy Rain is seeing. Joshua.”
“Why?”
“You can give him the Lazaro treatment to get some answers.”
“I can beat on Rain's boyfriend, that's okay, but this other punk is off limits?”
“He was just a kid, Laz. And we don't know if he's done anything.”
“Josh hasn't done anything.”
“I walked in on him trying to pull Rain's scalp off.”
“What's that got to do with Alison?”
“He seems a more likely suspect than Billy.”
Lazaro scrunched up his face. “Makes no sense to me. Billy was Alison's boyfriend. He admitted he was with her, and then he says that shit about Graham.”
Ethan was still trying to process that bit of information. Lazaro immediately assumed Billy was lying, but Ethan couldn't dismiss the possibility no matter how much he wanted to. Ethan had to wonder if Billy was the witness Randy had mentioned, the one that placed Graham with Alison the night of her murder. But the timing seemed wrong. And if Alison was at a roller-skating rink she could have hooked up with any number of friends. Since Ethan didn't know any of her friends, that didn't help him a bit.
He had to push forward with what he knew. While the police gunned for Graham, Ethan would hound Joshua until he was satisfied.
“What are you thinking?” Lazaro asked.
“Are you going to help me with Joshua?”
Lazaro exhaled long and hard through his nose. “You got it all wrong, Ethan. Don't waste time with Josh. He's a dickhead, but he didn't have nothin' to do with this.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.” He punched the dash. “Listen, bro, I'm telling you it's Billy. I got a vibe from him. I know the type.”
A young couple strolled out of the restaurant holding hands. They smiled and laughed while the man tugged his girl closer and leaned against her. They walked the clumsy walk of new lovers, too distracted by their affection to walk a straight line.
Ethan thought of Sadie, how he kept pushing her away. And of Graham. He thought of Rain back when they had stumbled along together like this couple, before they had Graham, before life's reality and life's fantasy took separate roads and forced Ethan to choose between them.
“A vibe isn't good enough, Laz.”
“You've spent so much time attending PTA meetings and hosting tea parties you forgot what the real world is like.”
“You're going to tell me about the real world?”
“You don't get it. Just because you moved to the 'burbs and forgot everybody you used to know, doesn't mean all the shit stopped and turned rosy. Maybe in your perfect little life—”
“There is not a damn thing perfect about my life. This has nothing to do with me forgetting where I come from. Not a day goes by when I'm not somehow reminded. If you think finding out my daughter was beaten to death is part of this perfect life you've got figured out for me, you're dumber than I thought.”
Lazaro scowled. “I ain't dumb.”
“Then stop treating me like I am. I know damn well what kind of person you think Billy is. You think he's one of those guys that rules over his woman, treats her like property, then beats her when he feels like it.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, as far as I can tell, Joshua fits your profile to a tee.”
“Aw, Jesus, you just won't let it go.”
“Not a chance.”
Lazaro scratched his crotch, shaking his head. “We would have got more out of the kid if you hadn't pulled me off.”
“More what? A confession? What good would that do if you beat it out of him? You going to tell the police he confessed right after you knocked his last tooth out?”
“Who said anything about police?”
Lazaro was a wall, and Ethan was getting brick marks on his forehead. “Forget it.”
“You want to turn your daughter's killer into the police so some slick lawyer can get him off?”
“First of all, if Billy did kill Alison, I doubt the kid can afford a Johnnie Cochran. Besides, what else would we do?”
“Make him disappear.”
Ethan rested his forehead against the top of the steering wheel. Make him disappear? Jesus. “Get out.”
“What?”
“Get out of the car. I can't have you around.”
Lazaro pressed his lips together as if holding in a tirade, showing a surprising amount of self-control for him. After a moment, when he seemed to know what he wanted to say, he opened the door and stepped out. He leaned into the car and stared at Ethan for a second.
“It's a fucked up world out there. Time comes, my kind of help will be the only thing to save you.”
Ethan shook his head. “You'll never change.”
“Not everybody's gotta change.”
He slammed the door.