Rain let Ethan leave the restaurant ahead of her. He was so wrapped up in his rage, he didn't notice. She took her time getting to the car, making sure Ethan was in his own vehicle before she reached hers.
Then she climbed into the passenger seat.
Lazaro, behind the wheel, started the engine.
“Hang on,” Rain said. “Wait until he pulls out, at least.”
He ignored her, put the car in gear, and rolled out just as Ethan cleared the parking lot and turned into traffic.
Lazaro cruised to the lot entrance, waited until a few cars passed, then followed Ethan.
“Well?” he asked. “What did he want?”
A patch of Rain's scalp above her left ear seemed to twitch. It had started doing that after she and Ethan realized Alison had come over that night to hook up with Joshua while Rain was zonked on the couch.
She batted at the spot as if shooing a fly. What a crazy feeling. She'd heard of facial tics, not scalp tics. What the hell?
Laz glanced at her. “What's wrong with you?”
She rubbed at the twitching spot, which seemed to help until she stopped and the spasm would return. She wanted to peel that chunk of her skin off, like something was living under there and if she could just let it out . . .
“You don't need another fix already, do you?”
“No. Christ. Give me a second to collect my thoughts.”
“What's to collect? Tell me what the fuck he wanted.”
Clasping her hands together in her lap, she tried to ignore the bug crawling between her skin and skull.
“I fucked up, Laz. Big time.”
“What shit is he feeding you?”
“It's not him. He wanted to ask some questions about that night.”
“What questions?”
“Would you shut up and let me talk.”
His knuckles went white on the steering wheel, but he nodded and stayed quiet.
After a deep, shaky breath, Rain gave him a blow-by-blow. As she told it, she kept expecting him to explode, tear into her about how she could let something like this happen, why was she always going out with losers like Josh.
He never said a word. His face never changed. He concentrated on driving, following Ethan, only occasionally nodding while she spoke.
When she finished, Lazaro asked, “And now Ethan thinks Josh killed Ali?”
“I guess. Yeah.” She hung her head. The twitching had stopped at some point while she relayed her story. Now she almost missed it. She deserved the distraction. “I should have seen it. Sometimes he'd look at her and I'd know what he was thinking.”
“Doesn't sound like she was so innocent herself.”
“She was fifteen. What the fuck does anyone know at fifteen? He probably made passes at her before and here she thinks she'll take him up on it now that her boyfriend is cheating on her.”
Lazaro snorted. “I still can't believe that shit about Graham. What the fuck did Ethan do to him to turn him fag?”
Rain swung out and slapped Lazaro's arm. “Shut up. That's not cool.”
“All I'm saying is Ethan should have made sure that kid got more masculine influences. Kid wasn't born fag, you know? It's all about environment.”
“I don't want to talk about it. None of this is Graham's fault.”
“Never said it was. Ethan isn't the perfect parent he thinks he is. That's what I'm saying.”
Dumb ass. But she wasn't going to argue with him anymore. She would have more luck convincing a tree stump it had legs than ever changing Lazaro's mind about anything.
They continued for a while in silence, traveling north on the expressway. It had been Lazaro's idea to follow Ethan, keep tabs on where he was staying. After she had received the call from Ethan and she'd set up the meeting at the restaurant, she started spinning a story about getting some air, maybe a cup of coffee, but Lazaro had insisted on coming along, and while he didn't say as much, Rain knew he suspected there was more to it than her wanting a hit of caffeine. Turned out she either had to back out of the meeting with Ethan or tell Lazaro what was up.
She told Lazaro.
Then he had hatched the plan to come along and follow Ethan to wherever he was holed up.
Rain watched Ethan's car signal and exit the expressway. Lazaro tagged along, slowing down on the exit ramp to give Ethan time to move along so he wouldn't spot them following.
Rain pinched the bridge of her nose. A veil of fatigue draped over her from out of nowhere. “I still don't see why we're spying on him.”
Lazaro pressed his lips together. She was questioning him again and it drove him nuts. She was risking another crack to the mouth, but she was too tired to care.
“Did he say what he planned to do about this?” he asked.
“I don't know.”
“That's why we need to keep an eye on him.”
“Give me a break, Laz. He doesn't want our help. This is pointless.”
“You think he'll go to the police?”
Rain threw up her hands, exasperated. “What's the dif? It's his call.”
Lazaro shook his head. “You don't get it. Josh is your boyfriend. He goes to the cops, they'll crawl all over you. You were blasted on the couch, she came over and used your phone to call him, then he came over and did God knows what before he killed her, and you don't think they're going to jump all over you too?”
The twitching started again, only this time the patch of scalp felt larger. The bug had grown. Some pain, a small sting, accompanied each twinge as well. The bug was picking through her skull, trying to get to her brain. She cupped her hand over the spot and pressed as if she could squash the bug underneath. The twitching continued unimpeded under her palm.
“I don't know. I don't know anything right now. Maybe I deserve to go to jail.”
“Jesus Christ, Rain. Maybe you should start taking my pills. Sounds like you're the head case. You want to go to jail, you want to OD and die on the couch—”
“Fuck off.”
Lazaro made a right into the grounds of a sprawling apartment complex with a sign out front labeling the place “Arbor Village.” Rain hadn't been paying attention and hadn't noticed if Ethan had turned in ahead of them.
She wondered if this was where Ethan's girlfriend lived. Didn't seem like a smart place to go if the cops were looking for them.
“Besides,” Lazaro said, “what about Ali? Doesn't she deserve some justice?”
Ahead, Ethan made a left into a lot between two apartment buildings each four stories tall with nice wooden balconies and sliding glass doors to access them. The lawns were trimmed. The brick facades clean. Looked nothing like where Rain lived.
“Of course I care. What's that got to do with anything?”
Lazaro cruised past the lot's entrance Ethan had turned into. “You think the cops will give Josh what he fucking deserves? He should have his damn balls cut off. He should scream in pain. But what will the cops do? Give him a fucking lawyer and a trial, that's what.”
While Laz made a U-turn and crept back the way they had come, Rain closed her eyes and saw Joshua straddling her on the floor, his fist driving toward her face, knuckles bloody. Then she saw it from the outside, a witness to her own beating, only instead of Rain under Josh it was Ali.
Ethan had said she was beaten to death. Ethan had also been the first one to suspect Joshua. It seemed so obvious now. Why had she tried so hard to deny it? Because she loved Joshua?
No. The real reason she denied it wasn't for Joshua's sake. Admitting he could have hurt her daughter was like admitting she had. Ethan was right. Alison should never have started coming to visit. Rain should have sent her away. She was no kind of mother. She was a fucked up waste of life who had ended up wasting her daughter's life because she was too damn selfish to do the right thing.
But Lazaro was right, too.
Joshua didn't deserve a chance at getting away with what he'd done to Ali. And Rain considered life in prison getting away with it, no matter how many times he might get ass-raped once inside.
Rain had let that bastard get away with hurting her enough times. He would not get away with hurting Ali.
“I want him to suffer,” she said. “And then I want him to die.”
Lazaro turned into the lot where Ethan had pulled in just as Ethan reached the entrance to one of the buildings and slipped inside. Lazaro parked on the far side of the lot, cut the engine, and stared out the windshield toward the apartment building.
“If Ethan goes to the police, we ain't going to have much luck with that plan. He's got to be on board.”
“He's not going to listen to you. He's pissed. I don't think we can change his mind.”
“Yeah.” Lazaro sighed through his nose. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “We got to do something to fix that.”