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Every time someone came up to me, I saw how they looked at my ring finger and then smiled.
Had I done that to people before? Not that long ago, my sole purpose in life was to serve God and have a family of my own—for Him.
It was funny how they seemed different, yet I’d been the one to change.
Robbie Carter and his family sat across from us, and as expected Jenny, his wife, and I remained quiet as the men talked. I ate here and there, only picking at my plate. Jenny rocked her infant and silently encouraged her two other girls to eat their food by pointing at their plates when they’d begin playing.
The young mother looked tired and truthfully the baby did too, although it was asleep in her arms.
The tiny girl didn’t appear nearly as lively or even as big as Violet, who I knew for a fact was younger by a few months at least. I remembered hearing at church on the Sunday before Jacob died that Jenny had given birth. Either they had a tiny girl, or their baby wasn’t doing as well as she should.
Since my appetite was weak, when Abe got up to get seconds, I handed him my plate to throw away.
“Jenny, would you please let me hold her while you eat?” I extended my arms to her and warmly encouraged her with a nod.
I adored babies and from having such a large extended family, I knew a mother of three had her hands full most of the time—plus, their laps and arms. Their plates rarely got finished before the next thing came along.
“You don’t mind?” she asked.
I leaned over the table as she stood to transfer her into my care. Bouncing a few times, I got adjusted and then sat.
Maybe the baby girl had just been sickly, but if that were the case, she would have benefited from staying home, and not from attending a funeral with germs and dozens of grubby little hands to spread them. No. Especially on a chilly fall day.
Jenny diligently ate while she could.
“Do you girls have school yet?” I asked the strawberry blonds to her right to keep them distracted from her.
The eldest nodded yes and the younger one said with her mouth full, “I’m too little.”
“Oh, well, you’ll be big soon and then you’ll want to learn as much as you can.”
Finally, the older one spoke, not more than a whisper, “I can read.”
Jenny wiped her mouth. “Ella has been going to my sisters for classes while I’m still so busy with Eva. Her boys are a little older than Ella, so she’s been doing studies with them.”
The girl couldn’t have been more than five or six, but at least she was ahead. Maybe if I would have learned how to earlier, I’d enjoy reading more now.
However, I was getting used to it and I didn’t all together hate it anymore, but I still preferred reading when it wasn’t something I had to read for class. Articles and blogs I’d found on Pinterest were my favorites, and I could read a ton of them.
Abe returned with another heaping plate and two desserts, and he slid one to me. It looked like peach cobbler which had always been one of my favorites too. I’d have to remember to make one at the house sometime.
Without hesitation, he took his finger and ran the side of it over Eva’s cheek like I’d seen him do many times with Violet. I adored the way he looked at babies. Thoughtful and caring. Yes, he was awkward with them, but they didn’t seem to annoy him like my nieces and nephews did my brothers most of the time.
I pulled the plastic fork sticking out of the top of the dessert closest to me.
“Those are both mine,” he said leaning over so only I could hear. He winked, and I felt a flutter in my chest. He was teasing me, and I welcomed it.
Was it possible for a man to get more attractive every day? Was that how God kept men and woman together?
Meh. I didn’t want to think about God, not there. For my sanity, it was important that I kept Lancaster and my new budding beliefs separate when I could.
I took a bite of the cobbler anyway.
When Jenny noticed, she put her fork down and gestured that she’d take the baby back, but I waved her off. Eating with one hand wasn’t impossible, and I wasn’t as tired as she looked. I could manage fine.
“Thank you again for calling us,” Abe said to his friend between bites.
“Yeah, I’d called you a couple other times a few weeks back too, but I just thought it was like Pastor said. That you two might be in New Mecula, and we’ve heard how bad the telephone signals are there.”
Between eating the dessert and pretending to give all my attention to the baby, I listened.
Beside me Abe tensed.
“No. We haven’t been to New Mecula, and we don’t have any plans to visit. We live in Fairview,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“Oh, well that’s what I thought.” Robbie scooped up the last of his potatoes on his fork and held it in front of his mouth before he added, “We almost made a trip up there a few weeks ago.” Then he filled his mouth with food.
“Did you have work around our way? A farm sale or something?”
The red-haired man took a drink of his water and then answered, “No. We were thinking of taking Eva to see a doctor up there, but Dad and the Legacy Board thought it was best to wait. That’s when your dad said you probably weren’t around anyway.”
“Is she sick?” Abe asked and glanced our way. The infant in my arms hardly moved except for her quick, tiny breaths.
“We’re not sure. She isn’t like the other two girls were. So we wanted to see, but like the Legacies said all babies are different.” The couple shared a look. “For now we’re just doing our best and praying.”
I knew firsthand that prayer alone didn’t always fix things. It hadn’t fixed Maureen, Mom, Jacob, or Father for me when I’d asked.
The table was quiet for a few seconds before their middle girl whispered to her mother, “I need to go potty.”
“Ella, can you take her down the hall?” She pointed across the room. “Take her to the one down there. Go and come straight back.” Her voice was gentle as she gave them instruction.
“Yes, ma’am,” the young blond replied.
Abe gathered our plates again, after seeing I’d put down my fork and nodded that it was fine to pitch the small portion I’d left uneaten. Then he piled the Carters’ on top and took them away too.
“Thank you,” Jenny said and reached for the baby in my arms. “Good thing He doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”
I wasn’t so sure about that as I passed the tiny bundle back to her mom. Sometimes I didn’t even feel like I was on His radar, and maybe I never was.
“God is Good,” she said as she beamed down at her baby girl. It wasn’t hard to miss the dark circles under her eyes or the worry inside them.
I smiled, but only felt sympathy for the poor mother.
After a few minutes, I scanned the room to see where Abe had gone and found him talking to his mother. He spoke fondly of her, so I wanted to be polite and say hello too.
“Take care,” I said to Jenny. Then to her husband, I added without looking at him directly in the eyes, “And please call Abe again if you need anything or if you decide to come to Fairview.”
“God bless you, Myra,” Robbie replied. “I’ll do that.”
Abe saw me walking toward them, and then I was detained briefly when one of my small nieces ran over to me for a quick side hug before running off.
“Hello, Mrs. Hathaway,” I greeted.
Her smile was genuine and bright as she looked between us. “Oh hello, dear.” Her silver hair was tied back into a low bun. I supposed that was how I should have had mine but didn’t. I had to admit, her skin was nearly flawless, save for the fine lines around her eyes and mouth.
“It’s nice to see you again.”
“It is, Myra. I never got to thank you for the beautiful quilt you made me before you left with Abraham.” Her eyes warmed as she looked at her oldest son. Her only remaining son. “I’m sorry I missed your banding ceremony.”
“It was sudden, Mom.”
She released a heavy, disappointed sigh and then put on a more cheerful face. I’d watched her do that very same thing many times over the short period of time I was with Jacob. She was good at it.
“Well, never mind all that, where the Lord leads us, we shall go. What a blessing that you have each other now.”
Probably the most truthful thing I’d heard that day.
He put my hand in his. “I’m really happy, Mother.”
Her eyes fell shut and relief relaxed her features.
“Well, I won’t be as pushy as other mothers and pester you about children yet. I know how important it is to get settled.” She reached out and clutched my arm. “Maybe it’s in your heart to move closer, to be near family with little ones. I was only blessed with two, but even just a couple can seem like a houseful sometimes.”
For whatever reason, her gentle persuasion didn’t offend me. I couldn’t blame her for loving her son and wanting family close. Additionally, she wasn’t guilting us. Her suggestions came from a place of love.
“Abe is my family now,” I said. Because even though I was at my father’s funeral, I felt little connection to anyone there. It didn’t even seem like I belonged to the Fox family anymore and that didn’t appear to bother anyone.
“Of course he is.” She smiled, beaming with a mother’s love. “And now you’re his family too.”
Abe drew me close, and I thought it was because of what his mother had said until I glanced to his other side.
“There you are.” Matthew was wearing a suit similar to Abe’s, but he didn’t come anywhere close to filling it out the way my husband did. “I just spoke to Pastor, Abraham. He told me you brought my sister back to town for father’s service,” he said, pulling paper off the bottom of a vanilla cupcake, striding up to us. “Hello, Mother Hathaway.”
Abe’s mom smiled one last time at both of us and then left after saying, “Matthew.”
“Yes, friends of ours called and gave us the news,” Abe explained, no doubt letting him know how he felt that my family hadn’t.
“How are you Myra?” Matthew bit into the small yellow cake. “Last I knew you ran off.”
“I was only staying with friends,” I replied.
“More friends? Sounds like the pair of you have friends galore. Maybe we should be closer. The Foxes and the Hathaways should be like one big blessed family, especially with your banding to Jacob and now Abraham.” He pointed with an icing-covered finger. “And I see your bands have changed, praise God. Soon there will be a precious Fox-Hathaway on the way.”
Little did he know. My birth control would prevent that.
“I’m sorry about your father,” Abe said, impressively without much annoyance in his voice. Still, it didn’t get past me how he’d shifted twice on his feet since my brother came over.
“Thank you. He’s with Jesus now, along with all the other Legacy Men and their families.” He rolled the wrapper into a ball and then tossed it toward the trash can but missed. “We’re growing New Mecula for the Kingdom now. You two should come for a visit. It’s much like here, but—” he paused. A half-smile bent his lips and he leaned in to finish. “But it’s also a little different.”
Different. What did that mean?
All my life I’d looked up to my brothers, the way a younger sister should. But maybe they didn’t deserve the respect I’d given them. After Jacob died, and everything went down regarding what the town would do with me—a young widow—I was faced with accepting them in a new light.
Where I’d always thought Matthew was wise and hard at work for the Lord, it was possible he was working hard for himself.
Coming back to Lancaster only gave me more questions than answers. It didn’t feel like closure, but more like the start of an uphill battle.
I wondered if Abe felt the same way.
“I’m not interested in New Mecula,” Abe told him. “Like I said, I’m sorry for your loss. We’re on our way out.”
“Pastor is in his office. I’m sure you’d like to say goodbye before your trip home.” Matthew’s eyes were cold and although his words weren’t threatening, there was a hue of hostility I’d never seen in them before as he looked at my husband. “And Myra, dear sister, if you’re not already with child, I pray it happens soon.” He leered at Abe. “I’m told it isn’t pleasant for God’s women at first, but it is your holy purpose.”
He was doubly wrong. It wasn’t my holy purpose. Not anymore. And being with Abe was the most pleasant experience of my life.
“God has blessed me, Matthew,” I said lifting my gaze directly to his and I held it. “It’s none of your business, but Abe is my perfect mate. Being with him isn’t a hardship, brother. It’s God’s greatest gift. I can only hope you find a woman who enjoys your company the way I enjoy his.”
He had no room to talk, his band was still on his right hand and he was unmarried. I’d always assumed it was because God was using him and all his energy to grow our faith outside our small town, but things weren’t always as they appeared.
Abe’s grip on my hand tightened and his thumb ran over my knuckles. “We’ll pray for your band, Matthew,” he said as we walked off.
We turned down the hall to Mr. Hathaway’s office, but not more than a few feet down the corridor, Abe ushered us into a small, empty Sunday school classroom.
“What are you...” I began to ask, confused.
He answered with his mouth on mine and his hand gripping the nape of my neck. It was unexpected and odd in that setting but thrilling all the same. I kissed him back, loving how desperate he was for me. Moments like that gave me confidence. They were proof he felt for me what I did for him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, winded as our kiss slowed. “I needed you.”
Finally, after days of feeling only half present, I returned. What a welcome feeling.
“Don’t be sorry.”
“You’re incredible, Myra. The way you spoke to him out there...” He pressed his lips to mine again, cupping my cheeks in his hands. There was less heat in the pairing, but just as much intention. I had to admit, holding my own with Matthew had also flooded me with energy.
“You’re incredible too,” I replied. “Now let’s talk to your father so we can go home.”
His forehead against mine he sighed. “Home sounds good.” Lancaster was draining, but we needed to stay strong just a little longer.
“Yes, and I can’t wait to get out of this ugly dress.”
Suddenly, the amber in his eyes warmed and glimmered. The greens sparkled like freshly polished jewels. He grinned.
“You make it look good, but I’ll be more than happy to help you out of it later.”