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I felt relief after getting some stuff off my chest, and maybe a tad guilty too because I didn’t want to spoil the mood of his big day. He’d worked so hard for so long on that dream, and now it was right in front of him.
So after I told him what was on my mind, I asked him to dance. I don’t think either of us were particularly great at it, but I didn’t think that was the point. To me, dancing with somebody—from what little bit I knew about it—was about being in sync with someone. Taking steps together. Sharing a tiny scrap of time and moving to the same beat.
That cool autumn evening, Abe held me in his arms and swayed with me to a beautiful song. The guitarist and singer said it was his favorite one by Ross Copperman called Hunger.
I had to agree. It was lovely.
There was something magical in the way Abe held onto me. His big hands around my waist and back. He smelled like the woods and soap, and his chest was warm against my cheek. I enjoyed how small he made me feel. It gave me such a valued sense of protection and security.
Abe was this giant of a man, yet he was delicate with me at times. Tender and caring. And in the moments of passion when his raw power broke through, it only made me desire him more.
I loved him and as we danced around the restaurant’s concrete patio, I wondered if he felt love for me as strongly as mine was for him. My heart didn’t need an answer though because the thought that he might made it flutter and beat faster.
When the tune finished, his grip loosened, and I pulled back. The music had stopped but there was a tapping coming from somewhere. Without asking out loud what it was, Abe’s hazel eyes looked above our heads at the canopy Matteo and Travis had installed.
“Want to go home before it really comes down?” he asked.
The ceiling looked like it would protect us from a few sprinkles, but if a downpour came along, we’d get soaked.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
I followed him to the table where he left an additional tip, then he held out his hand for me to take. I laced my fingers with his and we walked through the restaurant and out to the truck. On the ride home, I searched for the song we’d danced to. I found it, played it again, and saved it to my playlist.
Lightening lit the sky, and the thunder came soon after, telling me the storm was getting close. Like he sometimes did when we had a lot of groceries to pack in or when it was raining, he pulled the truck up close to the front porch so we wouldn’t have so far to go.
The ran came down in sheets as soon as he turned the ignition off, and I sprung from the cab to get under the roof fast as I could. Since we hadn’t taken my car, I’d left my keys on the island, so I had to wait for him in the porch light.
When I noticed he wasn’t right behind me, I turned back to the pickup.
Out in the rain, on one knee on the tiny sidewalk, Abe looked up at me smiling ear to ear.
“What are you doing? You’re crazy. Get up.” He was going to be soaked to the bone.
“I’m not good at this, but I have to do it right now.” He looked down and drew a deep breath as I walked closer to the steps. “You’re the most kind, loving, and beautiful person I’ll ever know. The second my eyes found you, you were seared somewhere inside me. You impress me. You teach me. And you’ve shown me what it means to love unconditionally.”
I’d never seen him like that, and it could have been the chill of the rain and wind, but he was shaking. He paused and laughed, and then beamed up at me with glassy eyes. Before me, he held out a small black box.
“Will you please, please, let me try to make you happy for the rest of my life? Will you please let me be your husband? Will you marry me—for us, for real?”
Breathless, I nearly slipped down the stairs. Then I fell to my knees in front of him. My eyes burned hot and my chin was about to quiver off my face.
Thankfully, he continued because I couldn’t speak.
“The only reason I give a damn about these bands around my neck,” he said as he pulled the necklace out of his shirt, showing me sometime that night he’d strung them both on the silver chain again. “Is because they brought me to you, but earlier when you said you wanted something just for us, you were right, and I need that too. So here is a real engagement ring for my girl.”
He opened the box and my heart stopped. Inside was a clear, square stone surrounded with tiny versions of itself. It looked like a fancy, shimmering pillow as lightening flashed behind Abe’s back.
I sat on my heels, not able to hold my weight under such a huge moment in time.
I stared at the box and then I looked up at him, drenched and shaking the water from his face and hair.
How did women handle all this? I’d never felt so much all at once.
“I don’t know what to say,” I shouted over the thunder rolling in the distance.
“Say yes, baby. Just say yes.”
“Yes!”
He ripped the ring from the cushion, threw the box somewhere in the yard, lifted my left hand, kissed the knuckle on my ring finger, and then slipped the ring over it. Then we crashed into each other, an embrace so tight I could barely draw breath. I cried tears of pure joy that seemed to leak from every inch of my blissful body.
“I love you so much,” he said, nearly growling it into my ear. Just then he pulled back and slipped his hand into my soggy hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me back so that we were face to face. “You make me so damn happy. Do you know that? Do I tell you that enough?”
“Show me.” I don’t know where the words came from because I didn’t need him to prove anything. But in that moment, like the song said earlier, I burned for him and never wanted it to go out.
That night was special, maybe the most special I’d ever had.
I was the luckiest woman, but I couldn’t give luck all the credit.
During that crazy storm, Abe showed me his love for hours on end with his body, his strong hands, and his mouth. And later, as I gave the sleeping man one last look before blowing out the candle we’d lit when the power went out, I had to admit I’d been truly blessed.
#
MY PHONE WAS RINGING somewhere in my purse, and I faintly remembered Abe tossing it on the couch when he carried me inside the night before. As I threw a t-shirt over my head and jogged into the living room, I stretched my neck and I retrieved it from my bag.
“Hello,” I answered and cleared my throat.
“Did I wake you up? Oh my God. Do you have any damage out there?” Ashley sounded like she’d been up a lot longer than I had. “Half our tree fell. It almost hit our car port, but it missed. Don’t worry. Why are you still in bed? I thought you got up at like four every day.”
I carried my cell with me as I tiptoed into the kitchen to start the coffee.
“We were up late,” I said not thinking about what it implied.
“Because of the storm or...”
I laughed because she was so nosy, but I kind of enjoyed it too. “Or. And also—” I paused, unsure if I should say something and because I wasn’t sure how to say it.
Holding the phone against my ear with my shoulder, I didn’t hear Abe come up behind me. He placed a quick kiss on my neck and took over with the decanter full of water.
“Also? You can’t stop there? Also what?”
“Sorry, Abe just walked in.”
“Oh, you don’t want to talk about it around him. That’s okay. Is it girl talk? I get it.”
I chuckled again as he leaned against the counter, shirtless and squinting at me. So I mouthed, “Ashley.”
“No. No, it’s nothing like that. I just didn’t know if I should say anything or if it was just between me and him.”
He made an adorable face and pointed to his ring finger. I nodded.
Quietly, he said, “Tell whoever you want.”
I wiggled on the stool, happy and excited for whatever was to come. “Abe gave me a real engagement ring last night.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Chris!” she shouted to her husband. “Chris, Abe gave Myra an engagement ring.” She laughed and said something that I didn’t catch. “Yeah, you two probably weren’t paying any attention to that storm. You were getting the real good D.”
My friend giggled, and so did I. I’d been around her long enough to pick up on what she was saying, and she wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t going to say anything.
“Do you need help with that tree mess?” As I asked her, Abe pointed through the window over the sink at something in the yard. I stood on the bottom rung of the stool to see what it could be. We didn’t have any limbs down that I could find, but the creek, that was usually not much more than a trickle near the house, was roaring down by the meadow. “Oh my goodness.”
“What?”
“Our creek. It’s like a river.”
“Oh shit. The news warned there could be flash flooding.”
I’d made it a point to not watch the news since the night I watched the story on those innocent children being hurt, but maybe it was time I sucked it up and did it anyway. I couldn’t hide from the world’s ugliness and pretend it didn’t exist anymore.
That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I was stronger than that.
“We have to go to town later anyway, what about if we come over and Abe can help Chris with that limb?”
As he poured our coffee he nodded, approving the idea. I knew he wouldn’t mind. He’d be angry if they didn’t let him help. It was just the way he was.
“Yes, please. Chris with a chainsaw is terrifying. He gets this look in his eye.” She makes a shuddering sound and groans. “He needs supervision.”
Surely, she was joking. After all, he worked at a lumber mill.
“We’ll be there in a little while.”
“Sounds good. See you then. I can’t wait to see that ring. I’m really happy for you both.”
I was happy for us too.
#
I HELD VIOLET WHILE Ashley answered her door. She ordered us all Chinese food for helping. Dori and Ted were outside with the guys. After our crazy week, being around these people, even for a less than ideal reason, made me feel so at home and comfortable.
Gently bouncing the sweet baby girl in my arms, I felt even more certain I’d made the right choice to put a pin in babies of my own for a while. Although I loved children, I wanted to be ready. There would probably never be a perfect time but getting my feet under me first would only make me a better mother.
Her tiny fingers wrapped around my pinky as I stared at my beautiful ring for the hundredth time that day. Abe would be a wonderful father, and I didn’t doubt that when he wanted to start a family, he’d tell me.
For now, we had a lot on our plates. For starters, the new store, which as far as I knew Abe hadn’t told them about yet. And I had to figure out a way to fast-track my GED. The next week was science, but after that I’d have two whole weeks where I didn’t need to attend class.
Not far from the front of my mind was Lancaster.
I wasn’t sure how I would help or bring change, but the urge to do something only grew stronger. However, I had to be patient. There was no way change would happen overnight. Especially not there.
Ashley sorted through the cartons and set out plates, napkins, and plastic forks. “Food’s here,” she called out their patio door. “Care if I make a plate before Dad steals all the rangoon?”
I was perfectly content holding Violet. “Go ahead. We’re fine. Aren’t we?” In fact, the precious girl was almost asleep in my arms. It was so funny what babies could sleep through. Three chainsaws going like mad outside and she was nodding off like nothing was happening. But on the flip side, a sneeze from a room away could startle a little one out of sleep as if it were a fire alarm.
The tree team filed in and headed for the sink to wash up.
“So have you two thought about where you might have a ceremony or a reception or both?” Dori asked, ripping a paper towel from the roll.
I was hesitant to speak up. I didn’t have a clue where one would do such a thing, and I didn’t want to disturb Violet.
“We haven’t talked about it yet. I just gave her the ring last night,” Abe answered and winked at me from across the room where he waited his turn at the faucet. “But I’ve thought about it, so maybe at the cabin or the church I’ve been going to.”
He didn’t talk much about the services he attended, but it wasn’t hard to tell, by how relaxed he was when he came home after, that he enjoyed attending the small church just inside Fairview.
I drove past it on the way to class every day. It was called The Love House, and the sign said that it was a non-denominational place of worship that welcomed everyone.
I’d never been, so I’d have to trust him if that was something he wanted. But having a small ceremony at the cabin and then a celebration there might be fun. Especially since the shop would most likely be empty by the time we got around to it. All his tools, lumber, and machinery would be at the new building by then.
I loved that he’d already thought about it.
“Oh, Abe. We’re pulling out of town around three tomorrow. That’s what I told the guys. Figured I’d see you here. That work for you?” Ted asked.
Abe was lathering his hands, but even watching his back was all the reaction I needed to see. He took a big breath and then straightened. “Three sounds good,” he answered.
I didn’t want him to leave, but it was his job and I respected that. I hated the thought of not seeing him for days and days.
I’d be missing him by three-oh-one tomorrow.
Still, we’d been apart before and came out the other side closer. We’d even spent nights apart by choice for a while, and even though it had only been a few days of sleeping in the same bed permanently, I could tell the space apart had done us some good.
Because now we were together, and there was no doubt that it was a choice.
I never had choices before and now I had so many. Everything was a choice.
So even if I wasn’t looking forward to being apart from him, I’d chose to keep my head up and see the positives. He was starting his own business and maybe that would mean not many of these long trips out of town. Or possibly in the future, I might go with him—depending on what I found to do for work. And this was a huge job for the Griers’ mill. I was happy for them too.
Abe walked over to me, and we gazed down at sleeping Violet.
I whispered, “I’m going to go lay her down,” to Ashley. My friend pouted at the sheer cuteness of her totally passed out daughter.
But before I turned to leave the room, Abe quietly clapped his hands together for me to pass her to him. “Go get a plate. I’ll put her down in her crib.”
It seemed silly to pass off a sleeping baby to someone else just for him to put her down. Odds favored the notion she’d wake up. Yet, he was so handsome and willing to help that I couldn’t resist.
I’d read a quote on Pinterest that said something like men stand tallest when stooping to help children. Watching him, I found that to be true.
As if it were old hat, he scooped her up and took her away. She was none the wiser. You’d think he had done it a million times. I suppose there was a lot to be said about a man with confident hands.
Eventually, we were all around their six-person dining room table, which fit us perfectly, and we ate like a family. Like always, the Griers poked fun at one another and went on about the most random things. I wasn’t great at conversations like that, but I liked to listen and sometimes I learned things I never knew I needed to know. For example, the fact that some perfumes have whale poop in them, which Chris found fascinating enough to bring up at the table.
Just as I was taking my last bite, Abe stretched and draped his arm across the back of my chair.
“You know what sounds good right about now?” Ted asked, rubbing his belly. “Some of Myra’s raspberry stuff.”