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I missed Abe so much, and it was getting hard to put those emotions on a shelf and deal with them alone. I’d become so used to talking to him anytime I wanted. But after our first FaceTime on Sunday night, and seeing how low his energy was, I’d been doing everything I could to make the short time we talked each night something to look forward too.
Both of us being down wouldn’t help anyone.
By Tuesday, it seemed like he’d adjusted. By Thursday though, when he’d told me he wasn’t coming home yet, I was homesick for him. Or maybe I was homesick too when he wasn’t around.
I’d left my whole world months before, but that was nothing compared to how I missed Abe.
So I kept busy by making items for people in Lancaster. I cleaned every inch of that cabin, and I even wandered down to the shop to sweep around one afternoon when I needed a measurement from one of his pieces.
I kept moving.
Plus, Ashely had been a Godsend. Most evenings before class, I’d go there and hang out while she did a load of laundry and made a quick dinner. I even brought a lasagna with me one afternoon. I’d made it just for something to do, and cooking for one didn’t bring me joy like cooking for others did.
But the best part of the day was when I got to hear his voice and see his face.
“I can’t wait to find out what it is,” Abe said about my surprise for him when I hinted at what I’d been up to.
“If you had to guess, what day might you be home?” I couldn’t help but hope if he couldn’t come back for the weekend, he’d be home on Monday.
“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know the second I find out. Did you watch another movie?”
I’d been making my way through Disney movies that week when I cooked or as I sewed. I loved the music, and they usually taught a good lesson.
As weird as it sounded, they reminded me of the Bible in a lot of ways. I was probably nuts though. Or it could have just been that so many of the stories I’d heard growing up were inspired by scripture, and so that was my perspective.
Whatever the case, I enjoyed them.
“I watched the Littlest Mermaid this morning.”
“Little Mermaid,” he corrected with a deep chuckle, so warm I could almost feel it. “Did you like it?”
“That witch was a handful, but it was good.” The songs floated through my head all day. They were catchy.
We ended up talking for almost thirty more minutes about his day and how Lindy with the bank had set a date to finalize the purchase of the building right before Thanksgiving. What a thing to be thankful for.
“Good night,” he said and yawned from the chair in his hotel room. “I’ll text you in the morning before I head to the job. I love you, Myra.”
“I love you too,” I replied. That was when I missed him most—when we said goodbyes. “Get some sleep.”
He’d already read his new book cover to cover, so he probably wasn’t getting much rest. Truthfully, I could relate. It hadn’t been until I wore his hooded sweatshirt from the laundry, which still smelled like him, that I could fall asleep at all. “Good night.”
For a few seconds neither of us ended the call. We just sat there, not saying anything, staring at each other on our phone screens. His beard had grown scruffy. I guessed he groomed it more at home. Looking back at me were eyes with small dark circles under them. His hair was still damp from a shower, but it didn’t look like he bothered to run a comb through it afterward. He was disheveled like the time I couldn’t talk to him and he’d shown up at the Griers’ house anyway.
He missed me.
“Hey, Abe?”
“Hey, Myra.”
It had been less than a week, but he had to know. “I wish you were here. I miss you, too.”
#
THE NEXT MORNING, I went about my day like usual. Having a routine helped make things seem normal. Then just before lunch, I got a message.
DORI: A guy just came by and dropped off a box for you and Abe. Maybe a wedding or engagement present? Not sure. You can swing by and get it, or I can drop it off later.
ME: I will come by.
Any reason to leave the cabin was one I’d take. I might even make an afternoon of it. Earlier I’d found out my sewing machine was too weak for what I needed it to do with the thicker fabrics and materials I wanted to use.
My Singer was like an extension of my arms. I knew it inside and out, but if a different needle didn’t help—and if Abe liked what I made—I’d have to consider buying a more heavy-duty machine.
So I sat there and Googled to see if Fairview had a sewing machine store, although I’d thought it was a long shot. A quick search didn’t bring up any stores specifically for sewing, but it did point me to a craft store that wasn’t far from the new building.
There were so many shops and things to do in Fairview’s downtown area. So on my trip to town, I’d nose around the old brick buildings and see if I could find any gems. Mostly, I’d be wasting time.
A few hours later, I drove down our lane and pulled into the mill.
Dori and Ted claimed they were done with cigarettes, and they’d definitely cut back from what I could tell, but as I walked into the office, the thick smell of smoke remained. Hopefully it was simply from the years of them lighting up inside and not because she’d been smoking while Ted had been away.
“Hey there, honey,” she greeted and came around her desk to give me a hug. “How you holding up this week? Doing good? Need anything?”
“I’m okay.”
“Of course you are.” She wheezed and laughed. “It isn’t like Abe’s the chattiest cat on the block. Probably don’t even notice he’s gone.”
What was funny was that she had no idea how much he talked. Maybe not so much at first, but these days he always had something to tell me. And when he didn’t, he wanted to know about my day or what I was thinking about.
We might not have talked or played with one another the way the Griers did, but we had our own way. One we were comfortable with. Maybe we were different, but that was just us.
“Trust me, I notice he’s not there.”
She grinned and rubbed my arm. “I’m sure you do. But, hey, Ted says they’re moving right along since the weather has been good and it doesn’t hurt that the track is easy land. Might get them home sooner.”
I hoped she was right.
She held up a finger and pointed to a table near her desk. “There’s that box.” It didn’t look much like a gift. The cardboard was bare and unassuming. When I picked it up, it didn’t even feel very full, and I examined it for a name.
“The guy who dropped it off was wearing a suit. Looked fancy. I bet whatever it is, it’s nice.”
It could be it was just an outside box, and there was something more decorative inside. Nevertheless, it was nice to have a gift. It was most likely from someone Abe knew, because the only people I knew in Fairview were the Griers and people from classes.
“I’m not sure why they’d drop it off here or now, but thanks for holding it for us.”
The phone rang, and she walked backwards to catch it on the third ring. I didn’t want to take up her time, so as she answered, I smiled, waved, and dipped out.
When I got into the car, I put the box in the passenger seat and pretended I wasn’t curious as I sent a text to Abe.
ME: We got a box delivered to the mill. Dori thinks it’s a present from someone.
I didn’t expect him to answer right away, and when he didn’t, I slipped my cellphone into the cup holder and drove the rest of the way into town.
Fairview felt more and more like home to me. When I first came and then bought my car, I didn’t have very much experience with unfamiliar places, but the small town was laid out in straight streets that were easy to navigate and remember.
Leaves were falling, and the colors were beautiful in the sunshine. It wasn’t all that warm, but it was still a pretty day. I parked in front of the building Abe was buying, but I wasn’t sure why. It just felt like the thing to do.
As I walked down the street toward the craft store, I got a reply from him.
ABE: Who was it from? Are you going to open it?
I stopped on the sidewalk and stood over to one side so I wouldn’t be in anyone’s way.
ME: I don’t know who dropped it off, and I haven’t opened it.
ABE: You should. You don’t have to wait for me. Send me a picture though. I want to know what it is.
A small thrill shot through me.
ABE: And while you’re at it, I’ll take a photo of you too.
I wasn’t great at taking pictures of myself, but Abe didn’t ask for much. Plus, he was encouraging me to open a gift for us without him. It was the least I could do. Since I was just down the way from the new store, I took the photo so he could see the building in the background and sent it.
ABE: There’s my girl.
Before I asked for one, he replied with a picture of himself. Wearing an orange plastic hat, he gave me a close-mouthed grin. His face was dirty, and he had saw dust in his beard, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have many photos of him and the few I had came in handy while he’d been gone.
ME: Thank you. I’m going to a craft store. I’ll open the box tonight. Maybe during FaceTime. Be careful. Talk to you later.
ABE: Have fun.
Down the block, I opened the door to the Painted Paisley and found myself in another slice of Heaven. I’d been in love with Hobby Lobby since the moment I’d stepped foot inside, but this place was completely different. There were stations in the front with easels set up, and paintings and artwork hung on the walls all around. Just from first glance, I spotted fabrics, yarns, paints, silk flowers, and a large section dedicated to the coming winter holidays.
“Hello,” greeted a woman’s voice, but I couldn’t find where it was coming from. I turned, side-to-side, searching for a head above the shelves.
“Hello,” I replied.
“Is there something I can help you find?” Just then, a middle-aged woman came around a display and rolled nearer in her wheelchair with a tray across her lap and a pricing gun on top of it.
“I came in for something special, but I didn’t expect all this.” The shop was full of endless possibility. “I could get lost in here for hours.”
“Well, we’re open until seven. So take your time.” She was being helpful, but in reality, I probably could get lost in there forever. She added, “My name is Elizabeth, but I answer to Beth, Bethy, Liz, Lizzy, Liza, and just about anything else in between.” She beamed, and her giant smile took up half her face.
“Thank you. I’m Myra. It’s nice to meet you. Before I look around, what I really came in for is a sewing machine.”
“Sure. We have a few different models in the back, depending on your skill level and what your needs are. Follow me, and I’ll show you where they’re at.” She turned and started toward the back of the shop. After passing numerous things I wanted to check out later, she brought us to a wall at the rear with shelves displaying a steamer, fabric irons, other large crafting tools, and four sewing machines.
My machine was old, but it had been my mother’s and compared to the ones Elizabeth sold, mine was about equal to the largest one she had on display.
“I have a Singer 401A. It has some age, but it’s still in great shape. What I’m looking for needs to be quite a bit more...um...” I had to pause and search for the word. “Industrious maybe? I want to try my hand at making cushions and possibly a few upholstery projects. So it’ll need to be heavy duty.”
What was I even thinking? That I could just stroll into a craft shop and they’d randomly have that kind of thing? I could be so naive.
“Exciting.” Elizabeth gazed at the ceiling thinking for a moment.
I examined the machine most like mine, but my mind rifled through thoughts for a new plan. I could do a bigger Google search. After all, there was no one forcing me to stay within Fairview. I could make a trip to a bigger city or order something online.
It wasn’t a dead end, just a jumping-off spot.
In Lancaster, I wouldn’t have had other options. And since our trip back, thoughts like that continued to surface before I batted them away.
Suddenly, I was even more committed to making something for Abe. He always said I’d been the one to make the choice to leave, but he was the one who gave me the choice in the first place. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have the life I was living.
“You know, I don’t keep anything like that in stock, but I have a few vendor reps that have lines with more commercial machines. If you want to look around—because it might take me a few minutes—I think I have a catalog in my office with something that might work. I can’t make any promises, but I might be able to help. And if I can’t get it for you, I know a salesman who should be able to tell us the closest place that can. I’ll find you in a few minutes.”
Elizabeth didn’t even wait for me to answer, quickly steering herself away to her office. I already liked her because she genuinely wanted to help me, a perfect stranger. Then again, it was her job.
As she suggested, I roamed the aisles, browsing. For a smaller shop, they had truly nice materials. Their prices were higher than Hobby Lobby, but I doubt anyone at the big store would have offered to do any kind of extra searching on my behalf. Especially not for an item they possibly couldn’t even sell.
After shouting from the back once to let me know she’d be up in a few more minutes, I met back up with her near the thread, bobbins, and needles in the back.
“So here’s what I found out.” She turned a magazine style booklet around to face me on the tray above her lap. I leaned closer to glance at what she pointed to. “My rep has a customer with one of these at a small shop like mine. It was a special order that never got picked up. He said that he’ll be passing through tomorrow and can drop it off here for you to look at, if you’d like.” She moved the literature to the side and picked up a few sheets of paper underneath. “I printed out all the info on it really fast, and glancing through the specs, it looks like it would be plenty durable to handle...” She flipped to the back page. “Yeah, here. Leather, canvas, thicker poly/cotton blends, etcetera. That would work great for upholstery and cushions.”
The model made my machine look like a toy. It was larger, black, and boxier than mine and the ones she kept in stock. “Wow. That thing looks tough.”
“Yeah.” She chuckled. “And it’s spendy too. The other shop who owns it has it marked down to nine hundred though for the whole package, which is kind of ideal for you. The machine alone is regularly sixteen hundred, and they’re just trying to cover their cost on it. You’re welcome to take this packet with you and think about it, Myra, but I don’t expect you’ll find it or anything like it that cheap—even online.” She handed me the bright white sheets she’d printed off. “I also copied the pages from the catalog I found. There’s no pressure, but I told him to bring it just in case and all the accessories they have for it anyway. So if you want to look at it, I’ll have it in the back sometime after nine tomorrow morning.”
Stunned, I blinked down at her. “Thank you. I really appreciate all this.”
She waved a hand at me. “If it wasn’t for others helping me, I don’t know where I’d be. I’m happy to do it.”
“Well, you’re helping me help my husband, so that means a lot.”
“Oh, does he have a favorite old chair that needs some work or something? It’s a big investment just for that.”
I smiled, feeling extra proud of him. “No, he builds furniture, and he’s opening his first store just down the block in the old electric building. I was hoping I might be able to work with him on some new styles—if I can figure it out. But I don’t know. You’re probably right, that is a lot of money.”
What would I do with the machine if my prototypes were a bust, and they didn’t work? Or if I was just terrible at it? The money I had in my account was more than enough to cover it without making too big of a dent in my savings, but I also wasn’t keen on being wasteful.
“It could be risky buying it,” I added, conflicted about what to do.
“Risks are the only way to grow. Life would be boring without them.” Tightening the Velcro on one of the fingerless gloves she wore, Elizabeth whimsically wrinkled her nose. “Sometimes taking the risk and failing is still worth it because it’s just fun to see what might happen. And like I told you, no pressure. I’m just glad to hear another local business is joining the downtown. A custom furniture store will fit right in. And, hey, if it does work out, I’d be happy to set you up an account and get you special pricing on bulk fabric orders.”
It amazed me how quick to help people could be. Elizabeth was eager to please and obviously willing to do whatever she could. I respected that quality in people and hoped I was like that too.
We chatted for a few more minutes and I strolled around a little longer, but soon my stomach was growling, and I told her I’d see her in the morning.
What harm could come from just looking at it? Elizabeth and her rep had gone through all that trouble for me, so I knew I’d be there the next day.
Walking back to the car, I made an impulsive decision to dine out for an early dinner. It wouldn’t be as fun without Abe, but I was hungry even if it was only three p.m. and I didn’t feel like cooking.
I wanted to do more research online about the machine. Hopefully I could find a video or two about it. Opposed to reading, seeing the way things were done was much easier for me to understand.
I walked into the Greek restaurant on the corner, shocked to see Ms. Perry behind the counter.
I considered leaving.
It wasn’t so much that I didn’t like her, it was the way she didn’t like me. Or at least the way she acted like she didn’t—and for no good reason at all.
But instead of running away, I pulled my shoulders back and marched forward. It smelled way too good in there to be a coward.
“Hello,” I said as I approached the counter where she and a young man stood in their blue work t-shirts and jeans. I wasn’t familiar with Greek food, but I wasn’t that picky of an eater and thankfully their menu board had pictures. So I didn’t have to stand there long, quickly I selected a chicken pita meal that included fries and a drink.
“What can I get you,” the young man behind the register asked.
“I’ll have the number two with an unsweetened tea, please.”
My classmate didn’t speak while she re-stocked cups and napkins a few feet away, which was fine.
After taking my money, the guy said he’d bring my order out and handed me my drink. I chose a booth by the front window, partly because it was nice out and I liked to watch people, and partly because it was the farthest from where Ms. Perry worked.
I could have easily taken the order to go, but I didn’t feel like going home yet because Dori was wrong, and the cabin was sometimes too quiet.
As I ate, I looked at Pinterest and got lost in upholstery boards and fabric styles.
“I meant what I said to you the other day, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I thought you were dumb.” Cassie’s voice from behind startled me because I hadn’t heard her wiping the tables near mine. Looking over my shoulder, I found her leaned over straightening salt and pepper shakers with the rag over her forearm.
Strangely, her young face was humble, and her closed-mouth smile seemed sincere. It was a relief she wasn’t being rude, which was quite a change.
However, I wasn’t perfect either and could afford to forgive. We were both human.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“No, it was wrong. I shouldn’t have judged you. I know all too well what that’s like, and it was wrong of me to act like that. I should know better.”
That was unexpected.
I scooted closer to the window and turned in the bench more so I could face her. “Well, I’m not the smartest, but I am working on it.”
“I know. Seriously, we’re both taking the GED prep classes. I get it.”
“Why are you taking them? I mean, if Mr. Paxton would recommend you as a tutor, why don’t you just take the test and be done?”
She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. “Long story. Can’t afford it. Had to drop out of high school this year to work.”
I wasn’t sure how teenagers outside of Lancaster lived or what was expected of them, but it seemed off that she’d have to leave high school to get a job.
Typically, I wasn’t nosy, but I couldn’t resist asking since she was being so candid. “Why do you have to work so much?”
She huffed. “I like food. Having a place to live. You know the basics.”
“You have to pay to live at home?”
Ms. Perry snickered and stood up from where she was cleaning, going to the next table not too far away. “Yeah, my home. If you mean, do I live with my parents? The answer is hell no. They kicked my queer ass out.”
It hadn’t been so long ago that I saw her with a girl at the store. I didn’t know anything about her life, but lately my mindset had been: if what you’re doing doesn’t hurt someone else, then do what you want.
Still, for whatever reason, I couldn’t imagine how painful it must have been to be rejected by her parents.
“I’m sorry they did that to you.”
She shrugged. “So I work two jobs to pay my bills, but without a high school diploma they don’t pay well. Therefore, it’s harder to make ends meet. I go to those prep-classes when I’m not working just to stay sharp. Because when I do have enough saved up for the test, I can’t afford to fail it.”
It always blew my mind how different people’s lives could be. Ms. Perry and I were probably polar opposites, but we both had the same goal.
More customers came in, and she left me to take care of them.
We had things in common and, from then on, I wasn’t going to be as judgmental with her either. We both had lessons to learn.