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It was killing me not hearing from Abe, but after barely any sleep the night before and the warm bath I’d taken, my eyes were as heavy as my heart.
“I’m going to lay down for a while,” I said to Dori and Ashley. They were still hanging around that evening. Even though I told them I’d be fine, they refused to leave until we knew what was going on. In all honestly, having them there was a giant comfort. “If you hear anything, please wake me up.”
Ashley sat on a blanket on the floor with Violet who was getting some tummy time in front of her.
“Yeah, go lay down. We’re fine,” Dori answered. “I’ll wake you if anything happens. Hell, I might wake you for the next shitty diaper. It’s your turn.”
I laughed. “I don’t mind shitty diapers.”
My swearing got their attention, and both of their faces darted toward mine.
Ashley covered her mouth with her hand but spoke behind it. “You said shitty.”
“It finally happened. We’ve corrupted her,” Dori said.
They chuckled, and I winked before I stepped around the bookcase and climbed onto the mattress to rest for a while.
I didn’t mind the ribbing. In fact, it was totally worth it. I’d never be a woman who swore like a trucker, but then again, who knew?
I also never thought I’d further my education. Never thought in a million years I’d take birth control. Never thought I’d go a Sunday without church. Never thought I’d wear worldly clothes or make up. Never dreamed I’d buy my own car or have a bank account of my own.
As I drifted off to sleep, my final thought was: I never knew I could be this happy, and I wasn’t about to let any of it be taken away.
#
“HOW’S MY GIRL?”
I rolled over toward the sound of him and it was dark except for the light in the living room slipping past the books on the shelf. I’d been dreaming about the old shop and for whatever reason, we were living in it.
Blinking myself awake, Abe wiped the hair out of my face.
“You’re home.”
Leaning toward me, he pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m home, and I’m not going anywhere again.”
Weight lifted off my body and it felt like I was sinking into a cloud. “Really?”
“Ted pulled from the job. I took tomorrow off, and right now the only thing I want to do is take a quick shower and climb into this bed with you.”
It was insane how he could mend me just by being close.
“What about the FBI? Are you in trouble?”
“No, Myra. I didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled an elastic from his hair and shook it out.
“Are you hungry? We have leftover pizza,” I told him. Frankly, I could eat a piece or two myself.
“We grabbed some food on the way back. I’m fine. Just tired.”
I reached for my phone and the clock read nine-thirty. “Are Dori, Ashley, and the baby still here?” I couldn’t hear the television, but maybe they just turned it down or off.
“They left.” He stretched his neck and lifted his arms above his head, pulling his muscles. His eyes shut as he extended this way and that.
“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
“We’re going to talk about everything, but do you mind if we do it tomorrow? It will all eventually be fine—hopefully better than that. Then, when it’s all over, we’re going to put it behind us.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
He stood and went to his dresser, pulling out a clean pair of boxers, and then began to undress.
“If it was easy it would already be done,” he replied.
His words sank into me, and he was right. There was never a good time to do the hardest work. Never a moment when difficult things would ever be a breeze. But that didn’t mean we could avoid them.
I ate a piece of cold pizza while he showered and brought us each a bottle of water to bed.
Shortly after, he came out, turned off his bedside lamp, climbed under the blankets, and wrapped me up in his arms. He didn’t say anything, and that was all right.
Tomorrow we’d face whatever we had to, but for a few quiet hours we’d just rest, knowing whatever came at us we’d be ready to handle it.
#
SHOCKINGLY, ABE WAS awake when I climbed out of our warm, cozy sheets. It wasn’t late by any stretch, but it was seven and much later than I usually slept. Again.
I wrapped my robe around myself and padded into the other room.
Abe was sitting on the chair he’d build that I’d made cushions for, reading. When I got closer, I realized what book was in his lap. The Bible.
“Good morning,” I said and took a seat on the couch.
“Good morning.”
“Sleep well?”
“For the most part.” He slid the Bible across the surface of the coffee table. “Come here.”
For all the things that had happened, he looked peaceful—messy and rumbled from sleeping—but calm. I went to him and he patted his lap from me to climb onto the chair with him. As I got comfortable against his bare chest, he pulled me closer and ran his fingers across my arm.
“I’m glad you’re home.”
“I’m glad to be home.” His scent was comforting, and his embrace grounded me.
“Should I cancel my tutoring this morning? I can text Cassie.”
“No. Don’t do that.” Abe pressed a kiss into my hair. “I need to spend some time in the shop anyway. I’ll get out of your way. Don’t cancel.”
“Okay, but will you tell me what happened in New Mecula?” It didn’t surprise me that my family hadn’t called with news of what happened with Matthew, and I understood how tired Abe was last night, but I really needed to know what was going on.
He sighed and readjusted in the chair. I sat up so I could look into his hazel eyes.
“Your brother is in a lot of trouble. He’d been bringing girls to New Mecula and grooming them to lure in men with money. He was basically planning to sell them to the highest bidder.” I remembered after Jacob’s funeral how going to New Mecula was one of the options for me and my future. Back then, I was so blind to see how wrong it all was. I’d thought if I prayed hard enough and asked God to help me, that whatever His will was would be the right thing.
I didn’t think like that anymore.
However, I didn’t blame God either.
At first, maybe I had. I’d been angry and confused. I didn’t have anywhere to put the blame. Now, I blamed Lancaster. The Legacies. Even my family and father—although I’d made my peace with him. I still hung onto the hope that he was misguided. He’d lived there most of his life too. I wanted to believe he didn’t truly know what he’d done was wrong.
Forgiving him wasn’t about him though. Somehow, it released me. Resentment was heavy and if I ever wanted to heal myself, I couldn’t carry it forever. I didn’t want that for my future.
Matthew was different.
“What will happen to him?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I imagine he’ll go to jail or prison. Maybe for a long time—a just and fair amount of time. The FBI have a lot of information on him and what he was doing. They suspect most of it was behind my father and the Legacies’ backs, but they’re still investigating.” I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It would almost be easier if they all got in trouble and everything shut down.
“So the FBI knows about Lancaster?”
He linked our hands and ran his thumb over my knuckles, smiling when my ring sparkled in the morning light.
“They know. They’ve known about Lancaster for a long time, but it’s sort of a gray area.”
It didn’t seem gray to me. Not anymore. “Why?”
“Because everyone has the right to freedom of religion. And no one there tells the truth. They’re trained to hide who they are, even from themselves. The FBI can’t just come in, guns-a-blazing, and make everyone stop worshipping the way they do simply because it’s strange. The truth is, everyone in Lancaster is free. They can leave or stop whenever they want. We’re proof of that. The Griers are proof of that. Robbie and Jenny are proof of that. They’re not—out right—forcing anyone to do anything. Manipulating them? Yeah. Lying to them? I believe so. But it’s not illegal to have strange beliefs, and according to the agents I spoke with, they haven’t been able to find anything that actually breaks the law.”
It was all so confusing. In my heart, there was so much happening in Lancaster that was just plain wrong. I shook my head.
“Hey,” Abe said. “Don’t worry. They’re not ignoring it anymore either. They’re looking deeper now. I talked with them for a long time yesterday about my experience. About things I’ve seen. About how we met.”
“But you said they can’t do anything.”
“No, but I can. We can. And they’ve agreed to help.”
“How?”
“I’ll be in Lancaster this weekend, and I’m speaking out on Sunday at services. My father and the Legacies have been in control of those people for far too long. It’s time someone stood up—before God and everyone there—and told them the truth.” He brought our linked fingers to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand. “You don’t have to go or do anything. But on Sunday, anyone who wants help and a way out, will have one.”
#
MY MIND WASN’T INTO math or science for the second day in a row, but Cassie was patient with me. We went over the few sheets I’d done as practice on my own, and she explained where I was doing well and where I was making mistakes. Even if I felt kind of dumb, the last part was helpful.
However, it was hard to focus and before our time was up, I called it for the day.
“I’m sorry you keep coming out to help me, and I’m not getting it. The last few days have just been really distracting,” I explained as I stacked up the papers in front of me and slipped them into my notebook around ten.
“Myra, this stuff can take years to learn. You’re doing fine. If anyone understands what it’s like to have a lot on their plate, it’s me.” She rolled her eyes. “So stop it with the apologizing. We’ll get there when we get there.”
Cassie, although harsh sometimes, was a good person. Sure she’d been rude and short with me, but I was ashamed of how I’d judged her too. Especially since she was there helping and not quitting on me.
After all, maybe she was right. It was only Wednesday of our first week studying together.
I went to get her cash out of my purse. She’d left without me paying her the day before, but my brain had been so scattered that I hadn’t realized it until long after she’d gone.
“Here’s enough money for the rest of the week,” I said. “Try again tomorrow?”
Cassie packed up her bag and offered me another tiny grin. “You’re damn right we’re trying again tomorrow.” She walked to the door and then paused before pulling it open. “And Myra? I’m really sorry you went through all that—growing up like you did. It wasn’t fair, but you got out and you’re trying to make a better life for yourself. A lot of people just give up.”
My mind went to Jacob. It had been too much for him. I didn’t feel like he’d given up, but my heart ached knowing how alone and trapped he must have felt.
Cassie added, “I know you’re paying me and everything, but you’re helping me too. It’s nice to be around someone who I can relate to. Someone who knows what it’s like to be kind of tossed away. But we’re strong, and we’ll make it.”
Ms. Perry was young, but she was wise already. I had no doubt she’d get whatever she wanted out of life—no matter how much harder she had to work or how much longer it took her. I respected that.
“Thank you. See you tomorrow.”
“Eight a.m. sharp,” she replied and headed to her car.
I poked around in the cabin for a while, but I couldn’t find anything to do. There were enough pizza leftovers for lunch and plenty of roast beef still for supper. Before too long, I found myself wandering down to the shop to see if there was something I could do for Abe.
He had the music on, but when I walked in, he turned the song down. How was he always so handsome? Why did every part of him attract every part of me?
“Done already?” he asked.
“I wasn’t into it today.”
He nodded and then leaned his hip against the workbench. “Everyone has off days.”
I strolled closer. “What are you doing? Anything I can help with...” I paused and then added, “Partner.”
He chuckled and I would remember to call him that again when I needed to hear him laugh.
“Well, partner, since you asked, I was down here thinking up a few new designs. You know. Since I’m not limited to bare wood anymore.”
A surge of pride grew in my chest. “I can’t wait until we work together every day.”
“Me either.” He pulled a flat pencil from behind his ear and pointed it at me. “And that’s why I’ve decided to give Ted my two-weeks notice. There’s a ton to do before we can open, and a lot of inventory to make. And as soon as we close on the building there’ll be a lot to do in the store to get it ready too.”
Usually, when things happened quickly life felt out of my control, but not this time. It was exactly what I wanted.
He winked at me and said, “That smile looks so good on your face.”
“Thank you. It feels pretty good too.”
He quirked an eyebrow and there was almost a challenge in his stare. “Bet it tastes nice.”
My stomach did somersaults when he talked like that, but I loved it.
“Would you like a sample?” I closed the distance between us and slipped between him and the workbench. I linked my arms around his neck and lifted onto my toes. “Kiss me, Abe.”
A rumble came from his chest as his hand slid into my hair and around to my nape. He tipped his head just barely to the left and pecked my lips. Then did the same slightly to the right. Almost like a kiss countdown to the main event.
Next, he stole my breath and made my knees feel like liquid as he consumed me with such intensity that I nearly saw stars. His tongue played chase with mine until I moaned into his mouth, completely swept away in the moment.
I felt his lips grow tight as he grinned down at me and slowed the kiss. “I could kiss you all day long, but that’s not going to get the work done. But I’ll sure as hell make it up to you tonight. Hopefully a few times.”
My head was fuzzy, and I was up for whatever he wanted...whenever he wanted it.
“I’ll hold you to that,” I said. Then stole his pencil and tucked it behind my ear. “Let’s get to work.”
Abe showed me how he used old templates to make new ones, and he even asked my advice on what I thought looked good. We spent the rest of the morning and that afternoon making plans and discussing styles we thought would sell well and we each made lists.
I’d already found some inspiration on Pinterest. Naturally, I still gravitated toward styles that were more cleanly shaped and plain. But that allowed for fun fabric patterns and accents that stood out. There was a very good chance I’d never be into ornately decorative things, but that was okay.
Sometimes simple is beautiful too.
I was truly happy, but as we walked back to the cabin early that evening, there was one thing missing for me. Something I’d gone without for too long. Something that made me who I was.
“Abe?” I asked climbing the porch.
“Myra,” he answered.
“Will you take me to your church this evening?”