preface

There are two things you need to know about this book:

First, the world is full of touchy-feely books of affirmation. This is not one of them.

Second, these rules were not written by Microsoft founder Bill Gates.

I mention this because these fifty rules began as a mere ten rules that I used in a television commentary back in the mid-1990s; they grew to twelve, and then to fourteen*. Along the way, they took on a life of their own, especially after they were somehow attributed to Gates. With that attribution, the original rules raced across cyberspace, showed up in thousands of e-mails and Web sites, and were picked up by newspapers and an assorted collection of politicians and motivational speakers and commentators, including radio’s Paul Harvey and advice columnist Ann Landers—all crediting the rules to the Master of Software. This was flattering and a bit exasperating. I enjoyed the fact that so many found the rules valuable, but it was a mixed blessing when my own e-mail box began to fill with the brilliant insights of Bill Gates.

Eventually, the word got out that Gates was innocent of the deed and that the blame rested solely with a guy named Sykes. Web sites devoted to tracking down urban legends actually devoted pages to debunking the Gates link. One debunker, www.snopes.com, commented: “Why it’s attributed to Gates is a mystery to us; it doesn’t really sound the least bit like something he would write. Possibly, the item the Internet-circulated version of the list generally ends with (‘Be nice to nerds’) struck a chord with someone who views Gates as the ultimate successful nerd of all time.” That’s as good a theory as I’ve heard.

But how to account for the enduring appeal of the original rules, which survived being delinked from Gates? I think the explanation is that they were such a blunt contrast to the thumb-sucking, feel-good infantilism that has become so common in American education and culture.

Previous generations thought it was their duty to prepare young people for the ups and downs of life as a matter of course and as an obligation. There is a long and rich literary tradition of books giving sound, realistic advice to young people, written by people who thought it was their job to provide children with a guide to growing up, rather than to amuse and entertain them or to be their buddies. Today, however, children can spend years in the company of credentialed goo-goos who not only miseducate them about the real world but also fail to give them the tools to make their way in it. This book is intended to counter their influence: think of it as a user’s manual for the real world.

The themes in this book have been ably addressed by Christina Hoff Sommers and Sally Satel in One Nation Under Therapy;1 Jean Twenge in Generation Me;2 and Michael Barone in Hard America, Soft America.3 I have also drawn on the work of author James Stenson (whose writings, including Upbringing,4 deserve a much larger audience). The rules also draw inspiration from Lord Chesterfield, Anatole France, Teddy Roosevelt, La Rochefoucauld, P. J. O’Rourke, H. L. Mencken, and Viktor Frankl, as well as from a talented group of writers including Lance Burri, Paul Graham, Rick Esenberg, Tom McMahon, and John Hughes. But the primary source has been the ongoing march of folly, inanity, and pabulum in both popular culture and public education; for the constant inspiration, I’m eternally grateful.

I am also grateful for the ongoing support of my colleagues at Journal Broadcast for providing me with an outlet for the early version of these rules and helping me develop some of the issues on my radio show and in my columns. Special thanks to my agent, Glen Hartley, who believed in this book, and to my editor at St. Martin’s Press, George Witte, who saw the possibilities of the full fifty rules.

And, as always, thanks to my wife, Janet, who has been my constant counselor and inspiration. For years she has been encouraging me to expand the original fourteen rules and to write this book. Without her it would not exist. I would say that I don’t know how to repay her, but I know that she has a lengthy list of ideas and suggestions, many of them having to do with remodeling. I love you always.