Chapter 18

 

The morning of the Sacrifice was a nightmare. Zora woke up convinced that she had forgotten something vitally important, but she couldn’t think of what it was.

Lina was hysterical with fear that Kyril would die. Kyril was the calmest of the three of them, but that wasn’t saying much. When his attempts to soothe Lina failed, he dragged Zora into the bedchamber to help him.

Zora collapsed onto the clothing chest at the foot of the bed and put her face in her hands. It’s too early for this, she thought. The sun is barely at the horizon and my eyes are hardly open.

“Zora,” Kyril insisted, “do something!”

“You do something,” Zora shot back. “She’s your wife, and I’m tired of having to cope with everything!” Then she considered Kyril’s past efforts to fix things. “On second thought,” she told him, “go away. Get some breakfast—you’ll need the energy, and having food in your stomach will make the drug less effective. Your father warned you about being drugged for the Sacrifice, remember?”

Kyril glared at her. “You might have some faith in me!” he said before he slammed out of the room.

“Great.” Zora sighed. “Lina, I know it’s impossible to be calm, but at least try to pretend you are. Right now everyone who sees the king will think you had a fight with him—on the morning of the Sacrifice...”

Lina sighed. “I didn’t think of that...”

Do you ever think? Zora wondered, but managed to bite back the words. “We just have to get through the ritual today,” she said aloud. “Everything else can wait until after the Sacrifice.”

“But as soon as the Sacrifice is over, they’ll shut me up in the temple for a week!” Lina protested. “That’s why there’s a cell for me down there, so I can be in seclusion for my first week of mourning.” She frowned. “I wonder where they’re going to put you.”

The crypt where I woke up that first day sounds really good right now. At least I’d finally get a chance to rest!

“I have no idea,” Zora said aloud. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

~o0o~

Several hours later Zora was still waiting, but she was waiting on the dais where the Sacrifice was about to take place. It was located next to the wall on the north terrace, above the waterfall. The floor of the dais was level with the top of the wall, making it easy for the king to step off it. Zora stood at the end of a diagonal line of priestesses, all of them robed and veiled. Lady Esme, who stood next to the eldest priestess, was wearing an ornate dress of black velvet so long it dragged on the ground, and she was sniffling into a handkerchief, while everyone else made a point of ignoring her. Zora was annoyed with Esme’s behavior—not to mention the ridiculous affectation of wearing black velvet in the summer heat. I hope she faints. Across from the priestesses the Year-King’s Companions stood in a line. Like the priestesses, they were arrayed by age, with the youngest nearest the water. The guards on the platform all wore dress uniforms, and they were lined up behind the priestesses and the Companions.

Kyril and Lina arrived, escorted by the Shield-Bearer. Today she was in her role as Head of the Queen’s Guard, and she carried an ornate ceremonial sword. She wore a dress uniform even fancier than those of the rest of the guards, while Kyril and Lina had been dressed for the ritual in long, loose wheat-colored robes and small matching crowns. They had presumably been drugged, although Zora didn’t know that for certain because the other priestesses had taken her away to change into a different gown for the ceremony while the Queen was dressing. Zora hoped Kyril wasn’t drugged too heavily, but she thanked the Goddess that Lina, for whatever reason, was subdued instead of hysterical.

The three of them walked through the assembled people, ascended the dais, and faced the crowd. The Queen drew in a deep breath and began to speak, addressing Kyril. “For answering our call, we thank thee. For thy service to us and ours, we thank thee. Thou hast done well.”

Her voice should really be louder, Zora thought, if the people are supposed to hear her. But at least she’s saying the right words. And she’s not sobbing hysterically, which I’ll bet most of the priestesses expected. They probably gave her as much of the drug as she could take without passing out during the ritual.

A young girl came up the steps of the dais and handed Kyril a large sheaf of wheat. “Receive the fruits thy life provides,” the girl said, bowing low to him before returning to her place in the crowd.

Kyril stood there, clutching the wheat, as the Queen continued to speak. “Now thy time is come. Now do we release thee. We loose our claim upon thee and yield thee to Water, the Blood of Earth, Mother of us all, from whence we come and to which we return. Let that which binds thee to us be severed.” Zora heard a quaver in the Queen’s voice and hoped that nobody else noticed it.

The Shield-Bearer unsheathed the sword, raised the blade high and then whipped it downward in an arc between Kyril and Lina. It didn’t touch either of them—it didn’t even pass close to either of them—but Zora could feel it sever the bond which tied Kyril to Lina. And to me? Why in Earth am I feeling this?

Lina obviously felt it. She looked pale and she was starting to shiver. The Shield-Bearer’s sword was still held out so that it blocked Kyril from everyone else. She murmured something in Kyril’s ear, too softly for Zora to catch the words, but it must have been instructions, for Kyril bowed to the Queen, and took three steps backward.

The third step carried him over the edge of the wall and out of sight. Zora listened for a splash over the noise of the waterfall, even knowing that she wouldn’t be able to hear it. Goddess, please, let him be all right.

Everyone on the dais, however, could hear what happened next. “No!” Lady Esme cried out. “You promised!” Before anyone else could move, she darted forward, holding her skirts with one hand and grabbing Lina’s arm with the other. She pulled her to the edge of the dais and tried to shove her over the edge. Lina struggled to break free, but both of them went over.

Zora didn’t hesitate to dive after them. She pushed downward off the edge of the wall to give her extra speed so she could reach them before they hit the water—and the rocks. She knew she had to knock Lina clear of the worst of the rocks if the girl was to have any chance of surviving.

She went straight down, through the air beside the waterfall, splashed by the spray, and caught them only a few yards above the water. She struck Esme’s arm, breaking her grip on Lina, and pushed Lina away from the waterfall as hard as she could. This had the effect of pushing Esme into it, but Zora didn’t much care.

The water closed over her head. Lina had been knocked clear of the rocks, but Zora landed among them, collecting scrapes and bruises as she worked her way clear. It’s a good thing I was here the first day of swimming practice. At least I remember how I got out of the rocks before.

She suppressed her instinctive desire to turn into a fish. Lina didn’t know any water-breathing shapes, so Zora needed to be something that could get Lina’s head out of the water and keep it there. She blew out her breath to get further below the surface so nobody watching from above could possibly see her, made herself small enough to get out of her clothing, and then changed into a dolphin.

It wasn’t a shape that she’d had much practice with, given that the lake at home was fresh water and dolphins lived in the ocean, but she had seen pictures in a bestiary, and both she and Kyril had experimented briefly with the shape. It had some interesting abilities.

In the water below the waterfall, the shape’s hearing made finding the human thrashing about easy. That’s the good thing about this shape. Nothing else would be able to tell the difference between human motion and turbulent water. She positioned her body underneath Lina’s and pushed up to the surface. Once there she supported Lina while they both gasped for breath. When she twisted to see how Lina was doing, however, she was astonished to see Kyril clinging to her.

For a moment she simply floated, letting the current take them both downstream, and then she realized what had happened. Lina had changed shape, but she had changed to the only other shape she knew. Kyril’s.

They were not alone in the river. Something larger than a fish was coming downriver from the waterfall, and another dolphin was leaping upriver toward them.

The dolphin, who had to be Kyril, reached them first, and Lina promptly launched herself from Zora to him. As soon as she flung her arms around him, the dolphin turned and swam rapidly downstream, while Zora stared after them in horror. I can’t catch up with them in time, and I can’t force Lina to change to back even if I could catch them! If people saw ‘Kyril’ being borne downstream by a dolphin, however, they would take it as a sign of divine favor. At least I hope so.

But the Goddess needs her High Priestess, and the people of Diadem need their Queen. I really hope you want me, Lady, because I’m all you have left. Zora dove to the bottom of the river and shifted back to her true shape, completing the change just before something grabbed her and dragged her up to the surface and onto the land. At least now she looked like Lina, and she silently prayed that was what the Goddess wanted.

She lay prone on the ground, trying to get her breathing back to normal. It helped that dolphins were air breathers, so she didn’t have to cough up water out of her lungs. She didn’t have the energy to lift her head yet, but she was able to breathe, and nothing seemed to be broken. She felt cloth being draped over her body. It was wet and cold, but at least it kept her from being naked. She opened her eyes and saw that it was a guard’s dress cape, and that the person who had dragged her out of the water was Catriona, who was still wearing the rest of her dress uniform. As Zora became aware of her surroundings, she realized she was on the beach at the edge of King’s Cove, the very place she had been the first day of spring training. Talk about going full circle...

“Did you jump in after me?” It came out as a whisper, but Catriona heard.

“Yes, of course I did,” she replied promptly.

That’s right. Catriona is supposed to be my bodyguard—or maybe my sister’s, depending on which one I am. By now, even I don’t know.

“I’m amazed you came through this as well as you did.” Catriona sounded relieved, rather than suspicious.

Zora hoped to keep it that way. “Do you know what happened to the others?” she asked anxiously, wondering how much Catriona had seen.

Catriona shook her head. “It all happened so fast it’s hard to tell. Apparently Esme suddenly decided to kill you—she was screaming something. Do you know what happened? Or why?”

Good. Catriona thinks I’m Lina. “I don’t remember much—the part on the terrace was confusing, and after I hit the water...I don’t remember any of that part. All I remember is that Esme was trying to push me into the water, and she fell in with me when I struggled. I thought I saw Kyril?” she added hopefully.

“I saw him, too,” Catriona said. “I think it’s safe to say he survived.”

“Thank the Goddess,” Zora said fervently. She sat up, pulling the cloak together around her. “I need to go back, to let the people see that I’m alive and well.”

Catriona looked sharply at her. “You’ll need some clothing, too,” she said after a moment. “What happened to what you were wearing?”

Zora shrugged. “I have no idea,” she lied. “I was still wearing it when I went into the water.” Well, that part is true.

The sound of hoofbeats heralded the arrival of several guards on horseback. Zora recognized some of them from swimming training, and she was startled to realize that her training with the guards had been only four months ago. It seemed to her as if most of her life had happened since then. Of course, it was more like parts of several people’s lives. And I’m not sure I’m thinking straight—did I hit my head on a rock? I was getting tossed around pretty badly for a couple of minutes.

Fortunately the guards were carrying dry blankets with them, and they made quick work of drying Zora off, wrapping her in enough blankets to make a cocoon, and putting her up in the saddle before one of them.

They had a spare horse and dry clothes for Catriona as well, but—

“Sword-Bearer?” Zora asked before the woman could reach for the clothing.

“My Queen?” Catriona bowed formally.

“I was wondering,” Zora said. “Is there any chance of finding bodies? I’d like to know if I’m going to have to worry about Lady Esme in the future.”

Catriona nodded. “I’ll see what I can do,” she said.

“She’ll find them if anyone can,” one of the other guards remarked. “Swims like a fish, that one does.”

Zora found herself smiling faintly as they rode back to the palace.

~o0o~

The priestesses surrounded her as soon as she arrived and hustled her down to their quarters, ignoring her protests. Not that she objected to a warm bath and dry clothing, but she felt very strongly that this was not a good time for her to disappear for a week. Goddess knows what the rumors will be like by then!

Fortunately, the Shield-Bearer arrived as she was getting out of the bath, carrying one of the gowns she wore to do the evening rituals.

“Are you mad?” the Eldest demanded. “You know she is supposed to be in seclusion!”

“Under normal circumstances that would be so,” the Shield-Bearer agreed. “But these are not normal circumstances. A good portion of the city’s population saw her go into the water, the rest of them have certainly heard a garbled version of the story, and very few people have seen her alive since. It is vital that she be seen to be alive and well.”

“I’ve been trying to tell them that since they brought me down here,” Zora agreed, reaching for the gown. “I’ll do the evening ritual tonight—I know it’s not the usual custom, but it will allow the maximum number of people to see me. Then I can afford to spend a week in seclusion.”

The Fourth Priestess suddenly burst into tears, and everyone turned to stare at her. “I was so afraid when the Goddess chose Zora,” she sobbed. “I thought it meant that one of us was going to die. And just this morning we were wondering how we’d manage with six of us in quarters designed for only five.”

“Zora and I were wondering the same thing,” Zora said. “We were talking about it when we were alone this morning. She said we’d have to wait and see.” Zora stopped, astonished to find herself fighting the urge to cry. As far as she knew, the only casualty of the day was Lady Esme... But would she ever see Kyril or Lina again?

She followed the Shield-Bearer up the stairs to the terrace where she did the evening ritual. The cries of joy that greeted her appearance made her think that she was doing the right thing, and feeling the presence of the Goddess made her certain of it.

Then she returned to the priestesses’ quarters to spend her week of seclusion. She hoped she’d be allowed to spend a lot of that time sleeping. She was just now realizing how very, very tired she was.

~o0o~

When Zora awoke, at midday the next day, she barely remembered how she had ended up in her cell in the underground temple. In fact, it had been so long since she’d been in her cell that it took her several moments to recognize where she was.

The priestesses had not wakened her for either prayers or breakfast, but Zora didn’t know whether that was the custom or their reaction to her obvious exhaustion after the chaotic ordeal of the Sacrifice. Her biggest worry now was that she didn’t know how the Queen was supposed to behave during her period of mourning. At least I’ll know next year, she consoled herself. Somehow, I don’t think Lina is going to come back.

For the moment, she put on the clothing laid out for her—black robes and veil, instead of the usual green. She ate the food they had saved for her, and then used the passage from the temple to the Queen’s chapel that allowed her to make her way there without going through the public areas of the palace, politely declining the Third Priestess’s offer to attend her. Apparently being followed everywhere was optional at the moment.

She entered the chapel, lit the torch next to the door, crossed to the start of the labyrinth, and walked along its path to the bench behind the fountain. She was glad to be able to sit down. For some reason she felt as if her body had been almost completely drained of power. She hadn’t felt much of anything inside the labyrinth, and even the short walk from her cell to the chapel had tired her. She slumped on the bench, leaning back against the stone wall.

“So here I am, Lady. Your sole remaining Queen. Lina and look so much alike—and I’ve spent so much time learning to be her—that nobody knows which one of us I am. And nobody cares. The really sad part is that I don’t believe that anyone ever did care. We’re interchangeable. The only one who knows which of us is which is you.”

It doesn’t matter.

“How can it not matter? It’s the difference between being the Queen and not being the Queen!”

Zora had never heard the Goddess really laugh before.

My dear child, do you truly believe that all of this was a series of accidents? Just consider all the events and decisions that have brought you to this place. You haven’t learned to be your sister. What you’ve learned is to be Queen. The Queen I wanted all along. The Queen only you can be. You are the one who is the true Queen. It doesn’t matter whether you are the child of Queen Zoradah’s body. You are the child of her soul.

Zora remembered the dreams she’d had back at Eagle’s Rest, and the vision of the Goddess she had seen in the fire. Not here... You must choose... “You said I had to choose freely. Was this a free choice? What about Lina? Did she ever get a choice?”

When a person refuses a choice it creates a space—a hole—and the people who have chosen to serve fill it as best they can. Zoradah chose to bear a daughter, knowing that it might well cost her life. You chose to leave behind everything you had ever known to serve me here, and when your sister refused her duties, you took them up. Not because you wanted the glory of being Queen, but because you knew the work was more important than the person doing it. You came here, knowing that it was dangerous—remember how many times you were attacked or poisoned. Do you not realize that if you had not been here, your sister would be dead?

Zora thought about that for a moment. It was true.

Druscilla and your sister were raised to be royal and chose not to be. You, despite every discouragement, made the opposite choice. You are my High Priestess and the Queen of Diadem because I chose you and you chose this. Every decision and every action brought you to this place.

And don't tell me you don't know who bore you. I know you do.

“Yes,” Zora admitted. “I’m not Druscilla’s daughter, which means I never knew my mother.” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. There was regret and a sense of loss, but there was also relief. If I’m not her daughter, it doesn’t matter so much that I’m not the type of daughter she wanted. I suspect that she and Lina will get along very well.

Speaking of which...

“Lady, should I change my name? If I’m really Lina.” Zalina Miradah, if we want to be really accurate.

The Goddess sounded amused. Do you think your sister can convince anyone at Eagle's Rest that she is you?

“No.”

You don't need to swap places or pretend to be what you are not. The few people who use your name will call you Lina, anyway. Simply be yourself and let the priestesses think what they will. As for your true parentage, you are my beloved daughter and have served me faithfully through difficult circumstances. I am well pleased with you.

Zora felt the Goddess’s hands on her shoulders, and a soft kiss on her brow.

Welcome home.

Zora didn’t know why feeling so completely loved should make her cry, but it did. These tears, however, didn’t hurt; they washed away all the doubts and insecurities of her old life. And the presence of the Goddess filled up all the empty places inside her.

She fell asleep on the bench, and nobody came to check on what she was doing, to wake her up, or to make demands on her.