Lottie
We snuck out of the front door as quietly as possible. I was born with the grace of a ballerina and the cunning of a fox, so I always excel in that type of situation. Mo was a bit more noticeable, with his hair and his clumpiness, but at least he was very short.
We crossed the road, but instead of walking up to Lorelai’s front door, Mo turned right. We ran up the street until we came to a quiet side-road called Mayland Drive. Halfway down Mayland, there was an alley, wide enough for a car to pass through. I realised it led us behind the houses on our road, and towards their gardens.
‘This is the one,’ Mo said. ‘I bet Schrodinger is here.’
We were standing by a fence that was taller than my dad. It was solid, so we couldn’t see through, and the gate was locked.
‘How are we going to get in?’ I asked, pointing at the enormous padlock.
‘Right here,’ Mo said, pulling at some planks at the bottom of the fence. The planks moved enough to make a small hole, just the right size for me to crawl – and for Mo to squeeze himself – through.
It suddenly felt rather adventury and exciting.
The garden was small: just a lawn and a patio, with no trees and nowhere to hide.
‘We’d better be quick,’ I said. ‘If Lorelai comes back and looks out of the window, she’ll see us immediately.’
‘He’s not here.’ Mo looked around. ‘I wonder if he’s gone into the house?’
‘She’s probably got him in there doing the washing up and sewing her clothes with all the local squirrels and blue tits.’
‘What?’
‘You know, like a Disney princess?’
‘But cats can’t do the washing-up, Lottie. They don’t like water.’
‘Just forget it, Mo.’ For a clever boy, he really was clueless sometimes. ‘How can we look inside if all the curtains are closed?’
‘Cat flap,’ Mo pointed at the back door.
We knelt down on the paving stones, getting dirt and dust all over our uniforms. Mo pushed open the flap and stuck his head in.
‘That’s weird,’ he said.
‘Are there foxes doing the hoovering? Let me see!’
‘No, it’s a mess. Didn’t she say she’d decorated and that?’
‘She did. And bought new furniture.’
‘It still has the exact same stuff in it that it did when I lived there. Nothing’s different.’
‘Why would she lie? And why does she really keep the curtains closed all the time?’
‘Maybe to hide the mess. You should see it, Lottie, there are boxes and piles of stuff everywhere.’
‘Let me have a look!’
‘Fine, but hurry up.’ Mo shuffled back to make way for me.
Mo was right – the place was a dump. There were empty food packets overflowing from the bin – mostly cakes and sweets. Every surface was covered with what looked like electrical parts: wires, microchips and circuit boards. In one corner there was what looked like a shiny new TV, which for some reason had been taken apart and was in pieces on the floor.
‘This is all very strange,’ I said. ‘What is she up to?’
I shuffled back. ‘Call Schrody and let’s get out of here.’
Mo pushed his face through the flap again.
‘I can see him in the hallway!’ he bounced up and down, banging his head. ‘Schrodinger!’ he called, ‘Come here Schro!’ He made kissy noises.
‘We should have brought some ham,’ I said. Schrody loves ham.
‘He’s not allowed to eat ham,’ said Mo. ‘The vet told us. You haven’t been giving him ham, have you?’
‘No, of course not.’ It didn’t seem like a good time to tell Mo that Sadie and I had been using ham in our attempts to train Schrodinger to do back flips.
‘Schrodinger! That’s it, come on!’
Mo pushed himself further in.
‘I’ve almost got him,’ he said.
There was a moment of silence, and then Mo whispered, ‘Lottie, nobody’s supposed to live here except Laura, right?’
‘It’s Lorelai, Mo. It really isn’t that difficult. And don’t worry – she definitely said she lives alone. Many, many times.’
‘Someone’s here. Two people, maybe. I can hear voices upstairs.’
‘Grab Schrody and get out, now!’
‘Oh, bums, I think they’re coming down the stairs.’
‘Have you got him yet?’
‘Yes!’ He started wriggling his bottom. ‘I’m coming out.’
He started sliding his knees back and I turned to run.
‘Lottie!’ he said. ‘I’m stuck!’
‘No, Mo, you simply cannot be stuck!’
‘I’m stuck and they’re coming down the stairs. Oh my god. What am I going to do? They’re going to catch me!’ He started kicking his feet up and down.
‘First, don’t panic. Second, think yourself small.’
‘What do you mean?’ Mo wailed.
‘Imagine that you’re a teeny tiny hedgehog. I’m going to pull you from your waist,’ I said.
‘Won’t you get prickled?’ he said, sounding even more panicked.
‘JUST THINK SMALL!’ I said, and I pulled him as hard as I could.
‘They’re getting closer,’ he yelped. ‘Pull harder!’
I pulled and pulled, and it felt like he wasn’t budging at all. He is rather round, after all. But suddenly he sort of popped out, with Schrodinger in his arms, and we both fell back in a heap.
As we lay there, red and out of breath, we heard loud voices. Whoever had been walking down the stairs had obviously come into the kitchen. We stayed low, but moved our ears closer to the cat flap so we could hear what they were saying. It made no sense for anyone to be there.
‘Will you make me some food before you go out again? I’m hungry!’ a whiny voice said – it sounded like a kid.
‘Get it yourself,’ a very low, rough voice answered. ‘If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have to be out collecting parts every night.’
‘I said I’m sorry. I’m trying to sort it out. There’s no need to starve me.’
I heard a door slam.
‘My two favourite boys aren’t fighting again, are they?’ Lorelai was home.
‘No,’ the other voices said at the same time.
‘Did you find out anything new from over the road?’ the man said.
‘Had to make up some excuses to the brats,’ she said. (How dare she?)
‘Did they buy it?’
‘Well, of course they did, I’m sweet as syrup. Their idiot of a mother thinks I’m her new best friend.’
I held tightly on to Mo’s arm to stop him from trying to break the door down in a rage.
‘Don’t fret, my loves,’ Lorelai carried on. ‘We have lots of time to make a decision while we build the replacement cuff. For now, we keep eyes on them at all times. Understood?’
‘Yeah,’ they answered.
‘And whether it’s the stout, red-headed, bumbling boy, or that precocious princess girl with the ridiculous hairstyles, we’ll look forward to the day when we get rid of one of them for good.’
