◆ 27 ◆
Brenna
Rosene said, “That’s all for now. Treva and Arden will be in soon.” She wiped down the counter as she spoke. “Will you stay for supper?”
“Wait, that can’t be all. Did your mother help Dirk escape?”
Rosene appeared weary. “What do you think?”
I didn’t want to say. What if I was wrong? “I think I’ll wait for the rest of the story,” I answered.
Her eyes brightened. “Good idea.”
“I’d better get back to the apartment,” I said. “Johann is going to call.”
She smiled a little. “Let me dish up some casserole for you to take. I don’t think you eat enough.”
She was right. I didn’t. “Denki.”
After she handed me the container of chicken and broccoli casserole, I gave her a half hug. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. “Tell Johann hello,” she said.
“I will.” I wondered if perhaps Gran had talked with her about our time in Oregon. “Thank you,” I said. “For everything. I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of the story.”
“Come back soon.”
Twenty minutes later, as I walked into my room, my computer buzzed with a call. I answered as quickly as I could.
“There you are,” Johann said.
“I just got back from the farm. How are you?”
“Good. Did you have a good New Year?”
“I had a quiet one,” I said. “Just the way I like it.” I’d gone to the farm and played Scrabble with Rosene and Treva, then came back to the apartment by nine. “How about you?”
He smiled. “I ended up working. How was your counseling appointment today?”
“Good,” I answered. I told him about it, leaving out the part about him. “Rylan has an appointment tomorrow with a VA therapist. He asked me to give him a ride, and I agreed.” I paused a moment, expecting Johann to chastise me. He didn’t. I added, “I hope therapy will help Rylan.”
“I hope so too.” Johann paused a moment and then asked, “Have you thought any more about visiting Ukraine?”
“Some.”
“And?”
I paused a moment and then said, “I’ll keep thinking about it.”
As I got ready to leave the apartment the next morning to get Rylan, my message app dinged with a message from Johann.
We know God is close to the brokenhearted. Remember, the only cure for grief, which is actually an outpouring of love, is more love. That love comes from God and from each other. I don’t know what the right thing to do is as far as Rylan, but as a soldier, I thank you for caring for him. I’m praying for both of you.
Dyakuyu.
While I sat in the waiting room of the VA office in Lancaster, I watched the veterans come and go. Old ones and young ones, with both visible and invisible injuries.
When Rylan came out, he had a biting expression on his face. He didn’t even wait until we reached the van to tell me how much he hated his therapist. “He hasn’t even been in the military. He doesn’t know what war is like.” We’d reached the van. “He has no idea what it’s like to—”
He climbed into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut.
I climbed into the driver’s seat, hoping this was the last time I’d need to give Rylan a ride. Anywhere.
I started the van.
“Where does your therapist work?” he asked.
“In a clinic on the outskirts of town, south of here. It’s designed for Plain people, Amish and Mennonite. It’s called Edenville.”
He groaned. “So no one there knows anything about war either.”
“Maybe not,” I said. “But they know about PTSD and grief and loss. And trauma.” When he didn’t answer, I said, “I had panic attacks and was depressed before our parents were killed, but it got worse after they died. It took a lot of counseling—a lot of therapy—to become functional. I didn’t do anything the first year after they died except help Rosene with the housework or help Mammi in the store. It wasn’t until after a year of therapy that I was able to get my license and start school. I stopped going to therapy last May, but I’ve recently realized I need it again. There are some things I can’t figure out on my own.”
When he didn’t answer, I said, “You could call Edenville and see if a therapist has openings. I really think therapy can help—emotionally and spiritually too.” When he didn’t answer again, I said, “You don’t talk about your childhood. I’d love to hear about it—if you want to talk about it.”
After a long pause, he said, “I grew up in Cincinnati. I’m the youngest of three boys. Our dad left when I was seven. Mom struggled to pay the rent and keep us fed. My oldest brother moved to California, the next one joined the Marines, and I joined the army right after I graduated from high school. After I left, Mom remarried and moved to Maine. I drove up to see her after I was discharged from the army, but it was really awkward. Then I moved here and joined the Army Reserve. A year after that, I went to Afghanistan.” He grimaced.
“What made you decide to move to Lancaster County?”
“A friend from the army. We met in Korea.”
“Meg?”
“Yes, Meg.”
When he didn’t say anything more, I asked, “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“I don’t think so,” he said. “But I appreciate you asking. And I appreciate you being a friend, even though I’m a handful.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s an unfair description.”
“Oh, I know. A true description would be much worse. But I’d like to go with ‘a handful.’ My grandmother used to call me that.”
“Fine by me,” I said, grateful for a moment of levity from him.
“When do classes start?” he asked after a while.
“January fifteenth. Have you preregistered?”
“Yes. Probably the same classes as you,” he said. “But lucky for you I’ll be able to drive myself.”
“You’d better,” I said.
“And I’m still going to sue your grandmother.”
I shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
He began to laugh.
“What?”
“Suit yourself.” He laughed some more.
I didn’t join in, but I smiled. A little. At his amusement. Not my unintentional pun.
Over the next few weeks, I only saw Rylan in class, but from those brief sightings, he seemed to be doing better. He was limping more than before he broke his leg, but he got around fine. He even smiled some from time to time and always greeted me politely. Then again, I had no idea what he was thinking.
I hadn’t heard anything about being deposed by his attorney and hoped that would all go away. But I was probably being as naïve as Gabe was about his unit being deployed in the near future.
When I chatted with Johann, I wanted to ask whether he had a new job or not, but I guessed he had because he wasn’t as available as he had been before. Several times when we’d planned to chat, I received a last-minute message saying he couldn’t.
In the middle of February, Rylan’s truck was in the shop, and he texted me for a ride to class. We had the same two classes together on Mondays and Wednesdays, one in the late morning and one in the midafternoon. He was sullen on the way there. I dropped him off at the building and then went to park. He limped along with his cane.
When I reached the class, I slipped in the back. He was sitting between Ami and Jessica in the front. After class, I hoped he’d get a ride home with them, but he stood and waved at me. I waved back and nodded toward the hallway. As I waited for him, I checked my phone. I had a message from Gabe, asking if I could make a delivery. He said he couldn’t do it since Sharon needed her van all afternoon.
I didn’t text Gabe back. I’d have to take Rylan back to the apartment complex first. There was no way I was going to take him by the shop.
My phone rang as we walked down the hall. Gabe. I silenced the call. It rang again.
“You should answer it,” Rylan said.
I turned the ringer off. “It can wait.”
It buzzed again as we reached the van.
“You’re avoiding someone,” Rylan said. “Because of me?”
I wished I could lie, but alas, I’d never mastered the technique. “It’s Gabe.”
“Answer it.”
When it buzzed again, I did. Without saying hello, I said, “I’ll be by in an hour.” It would take that long to bring Rylan home and get back to the shop.
“Look,” Gabe said. “I really need your help. Priscilla asked me to deliver four chairs yesterday. I said I would and then forgot. The customer needs them today for a meeting at her house. It’s a big sale. I don’t want to mess this up.”
“What time does she need them by?”
“Where does she live?”
“Quarryville.”
I groaned. That was south of the city of Lancaster. I wouldn’t have time to take Rylan home first.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m leaving campus now.”
As I ended the call, Rylan said, “I can ride along with you. No problem.”