O n Monday morning, Selma left for work an hour earlier than usual. She hadn’t mentioned to Frankie she wouldn’t be there when he arrived. He’d figure it out, and he had a key. A big part of her wanted to tell him not to finish the gazebo. She’d get someone else to do it. The thought of him working in her garden, coming into her house to make coffee, hurt. But she was a big girl. She needed to put her big-girl pants on and suck it up for the next few days .
The office was mostly empty this early in the morning, and she snuck into her seat without anyone noticing. She managed to avoid socializing during the first break of the day because she was on a different schedule from her team, but when she checked her phone while she was drinking her morning tea around the back of the building, there was a message from Frankie :
I missed you this morning. I was hoping to speak to you because I had an idea. Maybe we could answer the questions on the app again, see if we get a better result. What do you think? I miss you .
Emotion welling up inside her, she deleted the message. She didn’t even want to dignify it with a reply. She wanted to block his number altogether. Once he was finished working for her, that’s what she’d do .
Then she changed her mind. She hated it when guys hadn’t answered her message and left her hanging. She jabbed at the keypad, tapping out a reply :
I think I’m worth more than a % rating, Frankie. If you’re not satisfied with me the way I am, that’s your problem .
Stuffing her phone into her purse, she stormed back into the office .
S he had to take lunch at the same time as everyone else because the canteen didn’t open until 12. Her colleagues were poised with a barrage of questions about her weekend with her hot boyfriend, but she deflected them until she’d collected her lunch of a ham and cheese sandwich, a bag of chips, and a chocolate bar from the canteen’s service area and sat down at one of the long plastic tables that filled the bland, functional room. Eleven of her co-workers surrounded her, and the floodgates opened, every question like a stab in her heart .
“Why the suspense, girl?” Luciana demanded. “Tell me what you and that sexy Bert got up to this week—” She broke off, gasped, and pressed her hand against her chest. “Wait—he didn’t? Oh, my god. He proposed to you ?”
Selma clapped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. Tears welled up in her eyes. The expression on the eleven other faces turned from eager to shocked. It would’ve been comical in any other situation .
“Oh, honey, what happened?” Luciana said, immediately producing a tissue from her purse .
Selma wiped her eyes and blew her nose and took several deep breaths .
“Ladies, guys, I’ve got an announcement to make,” she began. But Luciana wasn’t listening to her, she was looking at something behind her, her eyes wide .
“Selma?” a familiar deep voice called .
She whipped around. “Frankie?” she said. “What are you doing here ?”
“Frankie?” everyone echoed .
“Does Bert have a twin?” Luciana demanded, her forehead knitted in great confusion .
He was wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt with his leather jacket on top, and he was carrying a bunch of flowers. His eyes looked dark and troubled. “Can we talk?” he said .
Selma stood up, vaguely aware that her legs were shaking. “We can go outside,” she said, and his crooked smile fleetingly appeared on his lips .
When a chorus of whistles followed them out of the canteen, Selma cringed .
“Let’s go sit in my car,” she said. “It’s the only place where we’ll get a shred of privacy around here .”
He followed her over to her little blue car and they climbed in. There was barely enough space for him in the compact interior, and the smell of his leather jacket and his own heady scent filled her nostrils .
He offered her the flowers. “These are for you.” They were pink rosebuds and baby’s breath, a pretty combination .
She pressed her fingertips against the bouquet, inhaling the scent, but didn’t take it from him. “Why ?”
He exhaled a long breath. “Because I’ve been an ass, and I hurt you. I hated the thought of losing you. I’ve been scrabbling for all kinds of solutions, and then it hit me. I hated filling out the Shiftr profile. I only did it because Connor insisted all of us have one, so it got me thinking maybe our answers weren’t accurate .”
She sighed. “The answer’s still no, Frankie. I’m not living my life like this. I am an emotional, spontaneous person. Maybe I’d answer the questions differently on different days. Who cares? I get why you’re screwed up, but that’s something you’ve got to fix by yourself .”
He let the flowers fall onto the space between the seats, his head dropped forward, and he was silent for a long moment. “You’ve already helped me more than you realize,” he said at last. When he met her gaze again, his eyes were piercing .
Her heart flipped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I get that this is about more than a compatibility rating on an app .”
“It is. It goes deep. If you met my dad, if you could’ve seen what he did to my mom, I think you’d understand. He’s in a secure unit these days, driven crazy by his own alcoholism and lies. The only way I’ve been able to live a decent life since then is by making rules for myself. Before Dad got taken away, Connor and I were estranged for a long time, and I wasn’t the guy I am now. You wouldn’t even recognize me. I was a fuck up. I got drunk all the time, never stayed in a job for long, never had relationships. Just had Dad putting poison in my ear all the time, telling me I was bad inside, so what was the point of trying to be good? But then Connor gave me a chance, and I didn’t want to waste it .”
“You’re scared if you let go of any of your rules, you’ll fall back into that dark place?” she said softly .
“Yup. That it’ll be like a house of cards. Chaos .”
“But it was all caused by your dad, right? You already told me, there’s nothing wrong with your genes .”
“But it started young. You know, nature-nurture. In the end, no one knows which gets you worse .”
“You’re a good man. I know I was acting crazy when you met me. And that probably made you want to run a mile, but you put my feelings first. You went above and beyond when you acted as my boyfriend at Emily’s engagement party.” She took his hand and squeezed it when an idea hit her. “How about we try this—we date for, say, two weeks. But really date. No pretense. I told Mom and Dad who you really are yesterday .”
He drew in a sharp breath. “You did ?”
“Yup. It was kind of embarrassing, but not as bad as I expected. And I was on the point of coming clean to my workmates when you walked in just now .”
“I’m proud of you for doing that .”
She shrugged. “Just part of being an adult. You’ve helped me a lot, too .”
“So this idea of yours…we’ll spend two weeks together. What if we find out we’re not compatible at the end of that time ?”
“It’ll hurt like hell.” She stroked his face. “But I’m willing to take that risk. Because I think you’re worth it. And because the potential upside outweighs the potential downside .”
There was a spark in his eyes. She grinned. She’d thought her last comment would be the kicker, that he wouldn’t be able to fault the logic of it .
“You’re so right, Selma,” he said, and he swept her into his arms. “The chance of being with you is worth any potential downside .”
Then he drew back and kissed her, those lips she never thought she’d taste again crushing on her own .