Christopher
I felt stupid in that
Santa hat.
I hated ringing the bell
and luring people over
on false pretences.
I know it’s for a good cause
but it’s Annabelle’s
cause—not mine.
It took me a while
to figure that out
but I know it now.
Some of the guys saw me
and they were laughing
between the double doors.
They were ringing invisible bells,
doubled over, hohoho-ing
and punching each other.
The awful thing was
that I wanted
to join them.
I wanted to rip off the hat
and run inside and be with them,
like old times.
Will Annabelle still want
to be with me if I tell her
I want to stop?
Will she think I’m scum
if she finds out I joined up
just to meet her?