A “New” New Year’s Resolution
New Year’s resolutions are often about committing to an exercise program, losing those extra twenty pounds, or quitting the smoking habit. While all of these are likely to be terrific for your health, offer great promise, and are made with the hope that your life will be better, the funny thing is that often our New Year’s resolutions from one year to the next are exactly the same.
Ring in this New Year by changing your attitude about something or someone (including yourself). So often our attitudes remain unchanged and unchallenged and we become stale in our outlook. Take a refreshing approach and question whether your perception serves you well or restricts you, holding you back.
How many times have your own or other people’s opinions prevented you from doing or trying something? “I always wanted to go skydiving but my friends will think I’m crazy.” “I would like to take an art class but I can’t draw.” “I would like to learn to play the piano but I was never very good at it when I was a kid.” “I would like to travel but I don’t have a companion.” “I would like to dance but don’t have a partner.”
By changing your attitude you can try things you thought you were “unable” to do and have experiences that will open your mind to incredible possibilities.
Friends
Maintaining Friendships When You Are in Different Life Circumstances
You are a longtime single woman and your best friend is married with three children. Or you’re divorced and your college roommate is about to get married.
Whatever the circumstance, it is easy to believe that you no longer have anything in common. Just because what is so important to one hasn’t crossed the radar screen of the other doesn’t mean the friendship is over. Some of the best friendships are enhanced when both watch, learn, and appreciate what is happening in the other’s life. Friendships can grow from the foundation of a shared background, similar values, being yourself, and good laughs rather than solely from similar experiences.
Don’t write friends off just because their life path is different from yours.
Partner
Healthy Communication with Your Significant Other
We all know that good communication is essential if you want a good relationship. But many of us don’t quite know exactly what we need to do. “Life” gets in the way, and we seize communication shortcuts or take the person and the relationship for granted by communicating in a way that is not healthy.
Among the many ways you can tell whether you are communicating effectively to your partner is by feeling respect for him and for yourself during the interaction. Recognize that all interactions either hurt or enhance your relationship, so consider wisely how you are communicating what is on your mind or in your heart.
Communicate with your significant other as if this person is a precious blessing in your life.
Single, Well-Being, Community
Treat Yourself Well as a Single Woman
Think of how much more interesting your life will be if you make daily decisions to live it fully.
Whether married or single, it is better to depend on yourself to do what interests you rather than wait for others to invite you to participate in something that may or may not suit you. Sometimes single women feel as if they are third wheels and are uncomfortable being with married friends. And some of their married friends don’t ask them to join in events that are family oriented but fun for all. And let’s not even talk about those dinner parties where if you don’t have a partner, you are excluded completely.
Stop waiting for the phone to ring for the next date, delaying plans to buy your own place, or looking to others to fill up your social calendar. It’s your life to live, so enjoy the independence that many would envy.
It’s up to you to fill your life so it’s a fulfilling life to have.
Parent, Family
Gaining Control of Your Life When Your Child Has a Disability
When you thought about having children, you probably expected that they would be well and healthy. Most parents-to-be never think (except for a fleeting fear) about the realities of raising a child who has extra needs. You had an image of the child you were going to have. Now you have a child who is different from that one.
Living with and raising a child who has a disability can challenge your sense of yourself as a competent person and parent, but it can also give you enormous opportunity for growth and discovery. Understand that much of your life needs to be changed. Decide what can be changed and change it. Life with a child with extra needs means constant adjustment, and having a sense of humor helps.
Children who have disability differences may not be the children we expected, but that does not mean they are not the children we want.
Well-Being, Friends
Is Your Reservoir Dry?
Are you on track? Are you running on empty? Do you feel overwhelmed? Are you spending too much time with people who deplete your personal resources—not to mention your patience? Is it hard for you to say no? If you can answer yes—even grudgingly—to any of these questions, you may be at a point where it’s impossible to give of yourself. This bottom-of-the-barrel feeling lets you know that your reservoir is dry.
Right now, this minute, relax and imagine a reservoir full of water. Then imagine it empty, but with hordes of people trying to get the water they need. You’ll see panic, fear, anger—and an empty reservoir. Consider what you need to do to refill it so you have what you need to stay full and giving. Then prepare a checklist of activities and attitudes that will help it remain full. When you sense that your reservoir is dropping to scary levels, refer to your list to keep yourself healthy.
Your reservoir will only be full when you take time to fill it!