Chapter 9

Three months later, Richard and Brenda adjust to parenthood. Samantha is thriving in every way possible. She doesn’t even look like she was born premature. Her appetite is healthy, she falls within the range of growth percentile for a baby her age at her check-up. Richard continues to work hard putting in extra hours, taking on more responsibility. The three still live in Richard’s room at his family home. Brenda shuttles back and forth between Queens and Brooklyn to allow her family access to her little bundle. On one visit to Auntie’s house, Stephanie pry’s into her sister's affairs. “I am happy that you brought my niece to see me. Tell me little one, you have a handsome daddy and a beautiful mommy, when are they going to get married?” Her sister said with curiosity knowing full well that baby Samantha cannot answer. Auntie gives Stephanie a look as if to caution her not to shorten their visit with her inquiries. Brenda ignores her sister as she glows with pride while Auntie and Stephanie continue to gush over the baby.

Richard arrives home from work to relieve Brenda. He arrives with dinner in hand, draws her a bath, and cares for his daughter the remainder of the evening. Before going to bed, he washes a few loads of laundry, iron, folds clothes and puts everything away. Brenda’s sole responsibility is to make sure that she cares for Samantha until six o’clock five days a week. On the weekend, she is free to go out with her friends or family. Brenda provides Richard with a list every weekend of items that she needs or wants. He fills her list without objection. Again, the women in his family notice that Brenda is returning to her normal self-centered routine. They love the new addition to the family. They just wish she could have come through another vessel.

By the time Samantha is able to sit up on her own, her mother wants to reclaim the spotlight. Too much attention is focused on the daughter and not the one who brought her into this world. At least, that is how Brenda sees it. Little by little, she once again lobbies for her original campaign. She is a mother and believes she should also be a wife. Richard never brings up the subject. The lack of urgency rubs Brenda the wrong way. With every passing month, she feels less and less connected to the life that she has now. Brenda begins to question if Richard has ever loved her or even still finds her desirable. Not once does she bring it up in conversation. She plots and schemes because actions always speak volumes.

One evening, Richard and Brenda are at home watching a movie. It’s a love story where the man makes a romantic overture that results in a marriage proposal, Richard flips the channel at the precise moment when the man gets down on one knee. Brenda becomes furious. “You don’t want to see anything that has to do with matrimony so you change the channel.” She shouted. He looks at her, then back at the television and flips it back to the movie. “I thought it was going to commercial. My bad.” He said raising his arms up indicating surrender. She stomps out of the room. “Don’t wake the baby.” He whispers. She begins to tread lightly. He settles back into a comfortable position and changes the channel again to the local news station. Brenda does not return.

The next morning, Brenda packs up the baby and announces that she is going to visit her sister and Auntie for a few days. She asks Richard for pocket money, he gives her what she asked for and with a light peck on the cheek, she and the baby leave for the next week. Richard takes this time to find refuge in what is becoming an exhausting commitment. Regardless of the difficulties, he would not trade a moment of it for anything else in the world. After work on the first night of Brenda being away, Jessica decides to have a talk with her son. He gets home at about eight o’clock, drags himself to his room, and comes back down to the kitchen to find himself something to eat. His mother sits at the kitchen table having a cup of tea. He does not know that she has been waiting for him. “Hello, stranger. We do not see much of you anymore these days. It seems odd since we live in the same house.” Jessica said with a chuckle. “Hey mommy, I have been trying to get this promotion at work. I want to show Brenda that I can take care of our family sufficiently.” Richard expressed in great detail. “Son, all she really wants now is to get married.” His mother stated frankly. “Mommy, she is not ready to be married.” Richard quipped firmly. “Really. You can’t make her believe it. Why do you think she is not ready?” Jessica asked with a raised brow. “Isn’t it obvious, she doesn’t cook or clean house. She is not nurturing. I am trying to build a life with her without rushing into what I believe her role should be.” Richard exclaimed. “Son. You brought her into our lives because you love her, correct? People show you who they are when you meet them. You have to be content with that. Rarely do people change.” His mother stated as she placed her hand on his shoulder. Richard hangs his head as he shakes it back and forth. “I do love her. She is capable of so much and no one seems to see it but me.” He said as he grits his teeth. “I hope that you’re right. Mark my words, soon she is going to get the idea that you don’t care for her or that she is not worthy. Then what are you going to do?” His mother said sharply as she got up from her chair. Jessica washes her teacup, places it on the dish rack and leaves her son with his thoughts.

Richard decides to call his best friend to catch up. Ring. Ring. “Dude, I thought you forgot my number,” Philly answered. “Man, this being a family man ain’t no joke. I am tired as hell.” Richard replied with a chuckle. “How is the little light of your life?” Philly inquired. “Sammy is the best thing that has happened to me.” Richard answered. His best friend found it strange that he would make that statement without including the child’s mother. “Sounds good. When are we going to hang out?” Philly asked. “I’m free any night this week. Brenda and the baby went to spend time with her family for a few days. Hell, I am off duty for a minute.” Richard explained. “Well, I am working on a major project but I know that we can get together to watch a basketball game.” Philly suggested as he can be heard flipping through his calendar. “I’m down for it. You tell me when and I will bring the beer.” Richard agreed with the pledge to spring for refreshments. The two talk about work for a short time before their conversation comes to an end.

After his call with Philly, he calls Brenda to check on Samantha. The cell phone rings straight through to voicemail. He hangs up and calls back. Again, he gets voicemail. He leaves a message. “Hey, it’s me. I wanted to know that my two favorite girls were doing alright and to tell you that I love you. Goodnight!” Richard hangs up the phone hoping that before he turned in for the night that she might call him back. She does not call. The next morning, Richard checked to see if Brenda returned his call. She didn’t. He gets ready for his work day and thinks nothing more about it. Brenda received his message but wants to make him stew out of spite. Her Auntie plans a big family gathering to celebrate the baby. After all, they only got to see Samantha whenever Brenda felt she needed a break from her relationship with Richard. It would never be for more than a few hours at a time. The fact that they would have access to the baby for a few consecutive days gave Auntie great joy. She was going to make the most of her time. She took time off work and offered to keep the little one to give Brenda time to herself. Little did she know, Brenda had plenty of time to herself at the Harvey household. Stephanie knew that Richard was a good guy. She knew that her sister didn’t deserve his time or attention. Of course, she wanted to see Brenda happy but she knew that Brenda was spoiled and only cared about what was in it for her. It was unfortunate that her family’s objective is to get him to marry her.

Two days later, Brenda calls Richard to check-in. He is none too happy but he never lets on that he was concerned with the silence. Samantha chants in the background bursting into laughter at the sound of his voice. This makes Richard’s day. The two exchange idle pleasantries, they did not discuss anything significant. They exchange sentiments of affection before the conversation ends. Richard would be heading over to Philly’s place to watch the opening season of the Boston Celtics game. He arrives at the home of his best friend a little early. He’s unexpected. Philly still has company. He ushers his company out the back in order not to have to explain his entanglement to Richard. He tidy’s up a bit. Sprays musk oil in the air to cover a familiar scent and heads to the front door to allow his friend to enter. “Man, I was beginning to think that you were not at home or that you forgot I was coming over.” Richard stated with a smirk on his face. “Nah, Nah. I was just changing out of my suit from work and trying to decide what to order for us to eat. I see you got the Heineken.” Philly explained as he reaches for the six pack of beverages. Richard walks in and immediately notices the signs that his best friend was not alone. He looks at Philly as if to say without words, I know that a woman just left here. Philly ignores the look as he motions for the remote control to find the channel for the game. He hopes that his friend doesn’t pressure him for information.

Richard and Philly have not spent an evening just watching basketball in ages. The last time Philly remembers an evening like this, Richard and Brenda were at the beginning of their courtship. His best friend has been in a seriously committed relationship going on four years now. He missed their time together but he loves him like a brother enough to stay out of the way. The two had a great carefree evening until Brenda called. “Hello. What are you doing?” Brenda inquired. “I’m at Philly’s house watching the game, drinking a few beers and eating hot wings.” Richard answered. “So the moment I am gone for more than twenty-four hours you go find your little buddy and forget about us.” Brenda shouted. She was screaming at the top of her lungs to where Philly could hear her from across the room. “No. I just wanted to hang out for once. I deserve my time too.” Richard shouted back at her. This was out of character for him. She knew that he was growing a pair because he had a male audience. She calmed herself because she knew she could not win the argument from afar. “Okay. Fine.” Brenda said without hardly separating her lips as she hung up.

“Dude, everything good?” Philly asked with a look of concern on his face. “Yeah. Sometimes, my baby mama gets excited over nothing.” Richard answered. His best friend nodded as if to indicate that he understood. The truth of the matter is Philly knew that Brenda was more than his good friend could handle, but he also knew that his passion for her is real. He sees how distressed a conversation with his mate makes him. All he can do for Richard is be a sounding board but it is up to his friend to make use of it. The two continue watching the game. Richard becomes uneasy, at half-time, he decides it would be better if he heads home. Philly agrees with his assessment because it was the easiest way to support him. Richard gathers his things, the two shake hands, and he heads for the door. “Dude, I want you to know that I am here to listen. I am not looking to judge you. Your situation is yours alone, but don’t continue to be stranger and think that you’re alone. You are like my brother.” Philly’s heartfelt monologue is exactly what Richard needed to hear. “Man, thank you. I will not be a stranger.” Richard stated as the two embraced before he exits. After the door closes, Philly immediately sends a text to a friend.

The rest of Brenda’s time away goes by in a blur. Richard is thrilled to see them both. Samantha looks to have grown a bit as small children do on a daily basis. Jessica is glad to have her back in the house. She spoils her with every opportunity. Per usual, the time apart brings Richard and Brenda closer than when they parted. The happiness although genuine is short-lived. Within a few weeks, Brenda harps on her continued agenda to become a wife. She does nothing to secure her position and Richard still ignores her efforts. He wants what he envisions for them. Yet he does not share that vision with Brenda. They are coming up to their first holiday season as a family unit. The tradition has been to have Thanksgiving with her family. They continue because it is an intricate piece of the foundation of their relationship. The three spend Christmas with his family. Without issue they fell into a routine where all the family members would be satisfied with the arrangement. The couple continues to go through trials as they weave their way to a deeper bond.

After the New Year begins, Brenda believes that she is losing her control over Richard. With every disagreement, he becomes less affected. She feels like he placates her trepidation. He appears to be losing the desire to fight the good fight. Lately, Richard just behaves like a beaten dog. He still wants to do better for his family but Brenda makes coming home distasteful most days. If it wasn’t for Samantha, he probably wouldn’t come home at all. It is winter time, Brenda does not leave for her sabbaticals like before. The winter was long and cold. Both Brenda and Richard felt trapped. The women in Richard’s family see his relationship slowly disintegrating with each passing day. It would only be a matter of time before the two would concede that their future as a couple is bleak.

As springtime begins, they plan for the first birthday celebration of their daughter. This occasion brings them together breathing new life into their relationship. Richard continues to give and Brenda continues to take. He is very happy to have made it through a cloudy period. Meanwhile, Brenda still believes that the love and desire her mate once had for her continues to dissipate. This creates a lack of desire on her behalf. She slowly gives up on her campaign to become his wife. It never occurs to him that something is amiss between them. Brenda has never been consistent. He is never surprised by any of her new antics that develop. Samantha’s birthday party was well attended by all of her family and friends. Both Richard and Brenda are pleased with the results. Jessica is the only one who notices that her words have come to fruition. She sees Brenda pulling away from her son by way of her body language.

Brenda resumes her weekend getaways that become weekly getaways which turn into two-week sabbaticals. She and Samantha pack up and leave without notice. Richard never objects, sometimes the separation is welcomed. The women in his family find it peculiar that these trips become frequent and last longer. Upon their return, she finds even more fault with Richard which spurs another quick departure. This continues throughout the summer months. His best friend recognizes Brenda’s pattern. He wants to open Richard’s eyes to the obvious but no one wants to be the one to tell him. It is not until Brenda announces that she no longer wants to be with Richard any longer that the idea of her having another love interest comes into his mind.

The couple breaks up right before the onset of the next holiday season. Richard seems relieved at first, then depressed, and as days become weeks and weeks become a month, he becomes manic. There is nothing that his family and friends can do. They all want to say “I told you so” but they don’t dare kick him when he is down. Samantha is talking now. The weekend comes and her mother brings her for a visit with her father. She relays a few things to her father that disturbs him about her new living situation. Richard is under the impression that Brenda and the baby are back at her Auntie house in Brooklyn. When he learns that not only is Brenda moved in with the next man but the new mate is not kind to his daughter, his head aches as if someone has hit him over the head with a baseball bat. Since Samantha is just a toddler, he holds his temper. In order to clarify what his child tells him, he confronts her mother the next day when she returns to collect the baby.

“Bre, Sammy says that she sleeps in time out on the floor.” Richard recites his baby’s communication to her verbatim. Brenda rolls her eyes. “You know that Samantha can be a handful so a little discipline can’t hurt.” She answered with an attitude. “Well, if you feel like she is too much for you. Then leave my baby here with me and you just come and visit her.” Richard expressed as he clenched his fists in the pocket of his jeans. “I’m not leaving her with you. Besides, you have to work and she belongs to me.” Brenda shouted with a neck roll and folded arms. Richard tries his best to control his rage. In a deep low register, he retorts, “I am going to need you to leave.” Brenda is looking in the closet to see what items she can gather to take with her. “Oh, by the way, anything that I bought does not leave here. You can only take Samantha’s stuff that she needs. Let your new man put clothes on your back the way that I did. You don’t get to take what my hard earn dollars purchased.” Brenda gives him a side-eye as if to suggest this man cannot be serious. She soon sees a side of Richard that she did not know existed. A chill came across her body as if she were standing naked in the middle of a wind storm. She backs away from the closet, grabs her purse and her daughter as she exits the room. It is the first time in the four and a half years of their relationship that she felt frightened in his presence.

The same evening after Brenda and Samantha leave the house. Richard is re-arranging his room. He takes all of Brenda’s things and tears them to shreds with his bare hands. Monica and Missy come by his room to check on him. Of course, they heard the ruckus from earlier. Monica knocks twice with no answer. She turns the doorknob to witness her brother sitting on the edge of the bed in what appears to be a trance with a pile of ripped women’s clothing at his feet. Missy covers her mouth with the palm of her hand to smother the shriek of disbelief. She backs away from the doorway and begins to text a friend. Monica leaves to get her mother. The two return with Jessica in tow. She slowly enters his room. He doesn’t even acknowledge their presence. His eyes are transfixed on the task at hand. Jessica gently sits down next to him on the bed. “Baby, I know that you are hurt. It is going to get better.” His mother says in a soothing voice as she rubs his shoulder. He turns his head slightly to bring her into focus. “Mommy, I gave that selfish bitch everything that I had and what I didn’t have I bent over backward to make her happy. And all she did was shit all over me in front of everybody. Now she holds my daughter hostage. Am I supposed to be okay with it?” Richard expressed with venom in his voice. Monica and Missy still standing in the doorway look at each other, then to Jessica. Each is immediately becoming infuriated by the amount of pain exhibited by Richard.