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“Wait a minute.” Toya pushed him back. She had to keep her wits about her. No way was she going to let Jarrod run in and out of her life. She wasn’t willing to give up their friendship if it only meant dating him for a few months and then being awkward with each other the rest of their lives. They would, after all, have to see one another since her mother was now married to his father.
“That kiss felt like heaven, why’d you push me away.” He tried to pull her back into his arms. But she wasn’t having it.
“I need a clear head to talk this out with you.”
“You still want to talk?”
“More than ever now.” She wasn’t letting him weasel out of this.
Jarrod wallowed on the sofa like a man in misery.
“Are you done?” Toya was about to pinch him, but Jarrod straightened back up and looked her in the eye so that he was giving her his full attention.
“Now, what I don’t understand is, if you have feelings for me, and had them way back when why did you stand me up for our prom?”
“Are we back on this again? Why can’t anyone let this go?”
“Who else asked you about this?”
“My dad, just the other day he basically asked in the same way you just did.”
“Well, what did you tell him?”
Looking a little frustrated by the matter, Jarrod gritted his teeth before saying, “I’m just going to lay it out there for you. And then you can do with it what you will.”
“Why are you angry? I think I have a right to know why you stood me up, don’t you?”
“I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at that stupid kid I used to be. He really messed things up for me.” Shaking his head at the situation, Jarrod finally said, “Look, the truth of the matter is that I was hurt that you lied to me about sending that college application to Howard University when all the while you only had your eyes set on Stanford.”
“Are you kidding? You really thought I lied about that?”
He nodded.
Toya got up and went into her office. When she came back into the living room, she was carrying two pieces of paper. She handed both of them to Jarrod. “God works in mysterious ways because I just found both of these letters the other day. Now I have proof that I’m not some liar as I’ve been accused of being.
“What’s this?”
“Can you read or not?”
He looked down at the papers. His eyes trailing from one and then the other. When he looked back at her, Jarrod’s eyes were filled with questions. “But you never said anything.”
“I couldn’t.”
“But the Howard acceptance letter is dated three days before the Stanford letter. Why didn’t you say anything when you received it?”
“My dad didn’t give me the Howard letter until the Stanford letter had also arrived. He wanted me at Stanford. And I’m glad I didn’t disappoint him.”
“I’m sure Uncle Dave was thrilled to have you at his alma mater. I’m just sorry that I was such a jerk about it. I honestly don’t even know what I was thinking. It was your life, and you should have been able to live it how you pleased. I should have supported your decision.”
“Yes, you should have,” Toya agreed.
He rushed back to the sofa, sat down next to her and took her hand in his. “Is it too late for us, Toya?” He closed his eyes, silently praying that he hadn’t messed things up to the point of no repair.
“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “I mean, what about that woman I saw you out with last month? Are you a couple or what? Because I’m not trying to come in between anything.”
“Are you talking about Lisa Sampson?”
“Is that the woman I saw you with when I took Princess to the vet?”
“Yes.”
“Then you know that’s who I’m asking about. Don’t beat around the bush, Jarrod. Just tell me straight up what’s going on. Because we both know you’ve been known to date several women at once.”
“In the past, I have dated several women at once. I’ve haven’t done anything like that in years. So, don’t go labeling me a dog when I’m far from it.”
“Okay then, I stand corrected. Now tell me about Lisa.”
“Lisa and I used to be friends. But she’s dating a football player now.” Jarrod added, “and yeah, maybe if I wasn’t already head over heels in love with another stubborn woman, maybe I would have been interested in Lisa, but I just wasn’t. And she for sure isn’t thinking about me.”
“Who you calling stubborn.” She objected, but she objected with this big silly grin on her face.
He touched the tip of her nose with his index finger. “You, that’s who. What are you going to do about it?”
Balling her fists, she told him, “I’ve been known to fight, so don’t mess with me.”
He took hold of her fist and pulled her to him until they were nose to nose, then lips to lips.
When the kiss ended, Toya stared at him for what seemed like a thousand and one years as she tried to make sense out of what had just happened to her. She had never felt like this after a simple kiss. But Jarrod wasn’t just some random guy. He was the one who had always been there for her. Their friendship meant everything to her. And at this moment she was scared out of her mind.
What if it didn’t work out? What if Jarrod found someone he wanted more than he wanted her. Toya’s heart would be broken, and she didn’t know if she could handle that. “You’d better leave.”
“What? Why? I thought we were still talking.”
“You promised me a weekend to myself. You and Princess need to go hang. I need some time to think.”
Jarrod stood, straightened his pants, and adjusted his shirt. “Okay, Ms. Toya, I’ll get out of your way. But I’m not letting another ten years go by before we resolve this. I want to be with you and you alone. So, you need to make up your mind.”
“It’s not that simple, Jarrod. There is a lot we have to consider.”
He shook his head. “What is going on right here and right now is between the two of us and no one else.”
“But your dad is married to my mother. You and I are basically brother and sister. How can we just start dating?”
“My dad has nothing to do with this.” He put his hands on her shoulder as he stood in front of her imploring her to hear him out. “I have been in love with you far longer than my dad and Yvonne have been in love. So, you’re not going to tell me that their marriage cancels out what I feel for you. Because it just doesn’t.”
“But if things don’t work between us, it will be awfully awkward during Thanksgiving dinners, not to mention Christmas or church.”
He removed his hands from her shoulders. He couldn’t bear to touch her any longer. Not when he didn’t know where things stood. “I’ll give you until Sunday evening when I bring Princess back to make up your mind.”
“That’s only two days, Jarrod. How can I possibly make a decision this important in just two days?”
There was a hint of pain in his eyes, but he was committed to his decision. “I’m not going to live the rest of my life wondering what might have been or what could be. Loving you has stopped me from having the life I’ve been dreaming about for far too long. So, this is it, Toya. Either we’re going to have this beautiful life together, or I’m moving on.”
~~~
“He actually said that,” Gina asked.
Toya had her cell phone up to her ear as she complained about the unreasonable demands Jarrod was making on her. “I couldn’t believe it. Jarrod knows that there is a lot at stake when two friends decide to get romantic. Look what happened to the two of you.”
“It did take us ten years to speak to each other again. But that was different. Jarrod just didn’t want the reminder of you. Anyway, what makes you think it won’t work out?”
“I don’t know if it will work out, that’s what’s so scary about this.” Toya could hear the whine in her voice, and at that moment, she wondered if she was being insensitive to Gina. “Does this conversation bother you. After all, you and Jarrod did hook up.”
“I wouldn’t call it a hookup. I told you that Jarrod didn’t want me. He wanted someone he could talk about you with... someone who would understand and laugh at all of our memories.”
“I don’t believe that was all there was to it. When you called and told me about the two of you, you sounded so excited.”
“Yes, I had been excited. But I don’t believe Jarrod was ever excited about the possibility of us. And believe me, I got over it quickly. I’m not carrying a torch for Jarrod, so you can talk this situation over with me, and I will try my best to help you see the truth.”
“And what is the truth?”
“The man loves you. He’s probably loved you since junior high school. And that’s a really long time to love someone and not know if they love you back.”
“Of course, I love Jarrod. How could I not?”
“Not just love him, Toya. He wants you to be in love with him. Can you do that for him, or if not, can you release him so that he can find someone who will love him?”
“That’s silly. I don’t have Jarrod stuck. He’s a free man. He can do whatever he wants.”
“Stop it, Toya. It’s time for you to take a leap of faith. Can you do it?”
“What about you?” Toya tried to turn the table on her friend. “Why are you still single? Where is your faith?”
“Don’t try to change the subject, girlfriend. This isn’t about me, it’s about you and Jarrod.”
“But don’t you want to be happy too?” Toya prodded.
“Put it this way, I gave love a try, and it blacked my eye. So, I’m sitting out for a while. You just don’t know who you can trust out there. I’m safer alone than with some man I don’t know anything about,” Gina said matter-of-factly.
Toya was sorry that she caused Gina to think about the awful experience she’d had with a man she loved. Domestic violence was a terrible thing. But so was being kidnapped at gunpoint. But none of that had anything to do with Jarrod. He was nothing like Marvel. And Toya needed to make a decision or lose him for good this time.
“Let me start cleaning this house while my dog is out of the way. I'll see you at Bible study tomorrow.”
“Hey, why don’t we ride together and then we can go to the mall or something.”
Toya thought about the last time she tried to go to the strip mall down the street from Princess’s groomer. That episode ended with a panic attack. But Toya wasn’t throwing in the towel, maybe she could do it if she went to the mall with Gina. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll pick you up in the morning.”