The crushing weight of midterms is suddenly lifted as soon as the last exam is done. When the last bell rings, we hand in our papers with a flourish, and I swear it’s as though my bones have turned from lead to pure oxygen. I’m made of starlight and moonbeams. I fly out of the classroom and what do you know, I immediately spot Danny in the crowd. My sweet Danny.
He catches my eye and smiles, and the past few weeks of awfulness immediately melt away. We scythe through the crowd of students milling about in the hallway and meet each other in the middle.
Is he back to his sweet, old self? I search his eyes for any traces of anger or mistrust and find nothing. He’s just Danny. My disarmingly charming, cheerful boyfriend. I crush him with my hug.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head. “I’ve been such an asshole.”
“No, you haven’t. You had a lot on your plate.”
He gives a slightly shuddery laugh. “It was all too much—Uncle James and exams coming up and everything. But I’m here now. I’m okay.”
I grin up at him, unable to speak because of the huge lump in my throat. When we finally kiss, it’s just as good as I remember it.
***
The parties start being thrown that same night. The next morning, I hear of Elle Brown throwing one at the rooftop of the Randolph, and Anya Scott having a bash at her family’s country club. I’m not invited to either of these, but Sam and Grace are, and when they show me pictures over breakfast, and I would be lying if I said I’m not just the tiniest, teensiest bit jealous.
“I’m not even the tiniest, teensiest bit jealous,” I say, through a gritted smile.
“Reeeally?” Sam says. “’Cause you seem jealous.”
“Pfft, jealous over some stupid party at some stupid, swanky country club? That is the saddest venue I can think of.” Maybe. I don’t know, having never been to a country club. I wasn’t even aware that teens could hold parties in one.
Sam laughs. “Don’t be jealous, because you’re invited to my party. On my yacht.”
“What!” I yell. A yacht party? YES!
Danny glances up from his dude table, sees me grinning like a loon, and shoots me a quizzical smile. I grin even wider, and he laughs before heading over. “What’s up, Cheshire cat?”
“Not much, just a freaking yacht party.”
“Ah, you told her, then,” Danny says to Sam.
“You knew?” I say. “He knew?”
“He helped me plan everything.”
“What?” Okay, now I’m really surprised. I get that he’s no longer in that same bad place as he has been the past few weeks, but going from that to helping plan a party seems rather drastic. Or is it? Maybe he’s just making more of an effort to go back to normalcy.
I must look really confused, because Danny shrugs and says, “I think I kind of spiraled a little back there. But I’m feeling a lot better now. More optimistic. I just want to end the semester on a high. Feels like good luck or something.”
Wanting to end the semester on a high—well, can’t argue with that.
***
I spend the rest of the afternoon digging through my closet for something to wear, which reminds me of Beth and makes me feel terrible. If I hadn’t fallen out with her, I would be in her room right now, getting ready together. I miss her.
I go to her room, and, with a deep breath, I knock on the door.
“Come in,” she calls out.
Beth’s putting on mascara. When she sees me, she goes, “Ugh,” and rolls her eyes, and then goes, “Ouch! Motherfu—” She blinks furiously, her eyes tearing up, and snaps, “What do you want, Lia?”
I grab her tissue box and hold it out to her, but she ignores it.
“Well?” she says.
I hug the tissue box to my chest like a shield. “I, um. I just wanted to know if you’re going to Sam’s party.”
She gestures to herself. “Hel-lo, do you not see how fabulous I look? Obviously, I’m going to Sam’s party.” She glances at the mirror and groans. “Except now I’m going to have to redo my eye makeup, thanks to you. You know how long it took to get the gold leaf on?”
It’s true, she looks like some Roman goddess, if Roman goddesses wore minidresses and gold leaf on their eyelids. And were Asian. The effect is striking, and seriously, only Beth could carry off something this wild, and before I know it, I stride forward and catch her in a tight hug.
“Ew, get off me—”
“I hate us fighting,” I say, and she stops struggling.
“You’re an asshole,” she says.
“I know, I am, and I’m sorry,” I babble, “But you being a literal drug dealer kind of caught me off guard, I didn’t know what to do, I—”
“I was. Past tense.”
“What?” I release her.
“When I told my supplier that I lost my entire stash, she fired me. I had to pay her off, obviously. Sold most of my jewelry and half of my closet to do that.” She sighs. “You were right. I shouldn’t have been doing that. I don’t know what I was thinking. And I feel truly shitty about everything, especially after what happened with Sophie. I’ll never be able to make up for everything I’ve done, but I’ll try.”
“I—wow.” I haven’t dared to think of the logistics of Beth’s business, but it seems like the best end she could’ve hoped for.
“What did you do with the stash?”
There’s a momentary pause as I recall how I lost a third of the stash. “I flushed them down different toilets.”
“Methodical,” Beth says, nodding approvingly.
“Very.” I look at her. “So. Are we good?”
“No.”
My heart sinks.
“We’re not ‘good,’ not with you wearing that thing.” She starts rummaging around her closet, which is just as well, as I need a bit of time to will away my tears.
We arrive at the dock fifteen minutes late, looking totally amazing. I gasp out loud when I see Sam’s yacht. It’s amazing. The size of a house. Even from the dock, the music from the yacht’s so loud, I can practically see it vibrating with the noise. The entire thing is strung with lights that change color in time with the music.
Beth and I strut across the plank because we’re fab like that. Okay, we try to strut, but I totally fail because the plank’s moving ever so slightly, and it’s enough to throw me off. Once we get onto the yacht, we’re greeted by a server who puts a champagne flute in each of our hands. The place is heaving with kids. Many of them must’ve arrived early because some are already visibly drunk, moving haphazardly in the swaying crowd.
“This is crazy,” I say.
“What?” Beth yells.
“Nothing,” I yell back.
“What?”
I take out my phone and type out, I want to find Danny.
Beth nods and gestures for us to make a round. We make our way across the sun deck, where kids are dancing and shouting and laughing, and down to the main deck.
Inside, the music’s slightly less loud, and the atmosphere is more laid-back. Everything in here is swanky, shiny furniture and leather seats. Instead of jumping up and down and dancing, the students here are playing card games and/or making out. I see a flash of boob and avert my eyes.
“You guys made it!”
I turn to see Sam and Grace. Sam looks incredible, dressed in a silver dress that shows off her long legs. Grace is in a gold dress with a plunging neckline, and together they look like the sun and the moon. “Wow, you guys look amazing.”
“You do too!” Grace squeals. She seems…high. Or maybe I’m just imagining it?
“There you are,” someone says behind me, and I turn and see Danny, looking way too handsome. It’s really not fair, how gorgeous this boy looks. I immediately put my arms around him and kiss him, because honestly, you can’t not.
“You’re beautiful,” he says, and I melt.
Groans all around us.
“Get a room,” someone says.
“Yeah, there are plenty of rooms in here,” Sam says.
I grin sheepishly. “Sorry.”
Then, from behind Danny, I see Stacey. My mouth drops open. “You came!” I didn’t think parties were her jam.
She scowls. “Danny made me come.”
“Really?” I look at Danny.
He shrugs. “I thought it might be nice for you to have all your friends here. And”—he turns to Stacey—“you shouldn’t spend the end of the semester all alone in your room.”
She sighs and gives him a reluctant smile. Wow.
I can’t believe Danny invited her, especially after all that paranoia he had about her and the keylogger. If that isn’t the sweetest thing a boy has ever done for his girlfriend, I don’t know what is. “Thank you,” I say to him, squeezing his hand. He shrugs again.
I hug Stacey. “I’m so glad you came!”
“Where’s the waiter for this deck?” Sam says. “We need drinks here.”
“I’ll go get some,” Danny says. “You guys sit tight.”
We claim one of the sofas, and soon we’re chatting and shrieking with laughter, and it’s incredible and overwhelming, and what is my life right now? I can’t believe I’m on a giant boat atop the Pacific Ocean, surrounded by the nation’s richest kids, and despite everything, I’ve somehow made it through the semester.
Danny returns with two icy bottles of Dom and we cheer. He’s already opened them, and he hands out glasses and pours for everyone. We toast to the end of “the most batshit semester,” and the drink feels like magic sliding down my throat. Danny pours more for everyone, and then we all head up to the sun deck to join the heaving crowd on the dance floor. I don’t know if it’s the movement of the boat, but everything is spinning crazily in the best possible way, and I feel like my veins are filled with music and light. We jump to the beat and I kiss Danny and dance with Beth and Stacey, and at some point, we empty our glasses, and Danny gets us another round and everybody goes, “You’ve got the best boyfriend,” and all I can do is grin stupidly.
The next hour is a whirl of more dancing, jumping up and down, screaming with laughter, spinning, and making out. Everything is swirling lights and hot, slick bodies, and I’m so glad to be alive, to be surrounded by my friends. I’m a butterfly. A bird. A molecule bouncing free in the atmosphere.
At some point, the thirst hits me. It hits hard, and fast, and I’m suddenly panting. All the cells in my body are crumbling to ash. I’m no longer a butterfly but a lead ball. I grab hold of Stacey and manage to pant out, “Water.”
She’s busy dancing with a sophomore, their hips swaying close to each other’s. She ignores me. Dammit, Stacey. Beth and Sam and Grace are still jumping like little grasshoppers. I look around for the bar, but when I turn my head, the entire world turns dizzyingly, and I almost fall. Danny’s arm shoots out, seemingly from nowhere, and catches me.
“You okay?” he says.
“Water.”
He nods and swings an arm around my shoulders, holding me tight, and I cling to the reassuring warmth of him. We make our way to the side, where he helps me onto a seat and then heads for the bar. He returns with bottles of water.
I snatch one out of his hands and gulp the whole thing in one go. Grab another one and finish half before I feel like I can finally slow down. I sit there, blinking, tapping my feet, unable to stay still. Wanting to keep dancing, wanting to scream and laugh and have sex and jump overboard. Which doesn’t seem all that normal. I’ve gotten drunk before, and this isn’t it. This is more. But then fireworks go off—real fireworks, not just ones in my mind, and I lose all train of thought.
Danny comes back carrying even more bottles of water. I haven’t even realized that he’d gone for more.
“Come on,” he says, “the others are probably thirsty too.”
Still clutching my half-finished bottle of water, I plunge back into the dance floor. Danny’s right, as soon as Sam and the rest spot the bottles of water, they stagger toward us and chug the bottles gratefully. Danny walks over to Stacey, still dancing with the sophomore, and hands her a bottle. She grabs it and waves the sophomore away before taking huge gulps.
“Wow, this water tastes like asshole,” she shouts, but she drinks it anyway. “Sam, you need to stop skimping on the water, man. This tastes like tap.”
Grace and Beth do a mock gasp, and Sam flips Stacey the bird. “It’s Fiji, you spoiled brat.”
I laugh, and a sudden surge of mirth pushes me, and I pull Stacey toward me and hug her. “I love you, you big goof.”
“Love you too, dumbass.”
God, I feel like I could run a freakin’ marathon.
Why not?
I tug Stacey’s hand and we run through the crowd, the boat teetering up and down in the waves, and I have no idea where we’re going, but I’m glad I’m running with Stacey. The sky is showered with stars so bright, and we throw our heads back and spin and spin until our legs give out and we tumble in a heap onto a couch, laughing and gasping hard.
We stay there for a while, lying down, our hands linked. A minute. An hour. I can’t tell. The stars are dancing for us and this is the best night ever.
“Definitely,” Stacey says. I didn’t even realize I’ve spoken out loud.
“You’re still speaking out loud right now, you doofus.”
What about now?
“Yep,” she laughs. “Oh my god, you’re such a nong, I swear. Hey, Lia.” Her voice is suddenly serious.
“Yeah?”
“Did you know you’re the first person to hang out in my room?”
“Really?” What am I saying really to? I’ve already forgotten what she just said.
“I said, you’re the first person to hang out in my room.”
Wow, okay. I mean, that’s pretty huge.
“You’re sort of. My best friend.” Her voice slurs. “I gotchu. Just so you know. No matter what you’ve done.”
“I gotchu too. You’re seriously like, the best friend ever,” I babble. “Like, the freakin’ best.”
“That’s why I couldn’t let you like. Do that thing to Mandy, man.”
“Wha?”
“That night. You snuck out of Mather. You tripped my alarm.”
“What?” The sky is spinning way too crazily for me to keep up, but a jumble of memories assault my senses. Stacey telling me she’s rigged Mather with motion sensors so she knows who’s sneaking out at night. Oh. “You took the shoebox from Mandy’s locker.”
“You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself,” Stacey says. “So, yeah, I took ’em. You’re too good to go down that route. Or whatever.”
I laugh. So that’s what happened. No wonder there was nothing in Mandy’s locker. “You’re amazing,” I tell her. “I mean, you’re literally the best person ever.” No answer. “Stace?”
She’s closed her eyes, her chest rising and falling slowly. I turn back to watch the peppered sky, marveling at how clear the stars look out here, how incandescently beautiful it all is.
My eyelids become heavier. Everything’s wonderful. I’m going to be okay. I’m going home soon, and when I come back next semester, I won’t be a new student anymore. I have a good group of friends, I’ve got an amazing boyfriend, and everything’s cool. My eyes drift shut and I sink into a deep sleep.
When I wake up, Stacey’s in a coma.