The morning I’m about to leave for Draycott Academy, Ibu almost makes me miss orientation because she has to take exactly eight pictures of me in my navy-blue Draycott blazer for good luck.
Normally, I’m cool with my mom’s superstitions, but this is basically the first day of the rest of my life and we’re gonna be late, and they’ll kick me out of Draycott, and then I won’t be able to go to college, and then I’ll have no future and basically spend the rest of my life licking avocado husks for lunch or whatever it is that boomers think young people should do to get by.
“May I remind you that you’re not Chinese and that Dad never even believed in all this stuff?”
“Shush.” She takes two more pictures, counting under her breath. “Last one. Bigger smile!” After the last click, she straightens up. “I need to send these to your gong-gong. You know he’ll count, make sure I got the number eight somewhere in there.”
My frustration bleeds out in a small sigh. Ibu is right. My late dad’s dad is the exact sort of petty patriarch who would hold it against my mother if she didn’t take the right number of pictures on such an important day. Not because he cares about me, grandkid number 1724386, but because he’d grab any excuse he can to prove to the family how my dad made the biggest mistake of his life by marrying my mother—a native Indonesian instead of a Chinese-Indonesian.
As soon as she’s done, she moves with superspeed, grabbing things off the kitchen counter before rushing me out of the house like I’m the one holding things up. And then we’re off on the three-hour drive to my new school.
Draycott Academy. School for the elite, as in kids who are most definitely not me. I swear, even my new uniform knows it’s not meant for people like me; my navy-blue blazer keeps snagging on my ragged nails, and already I have a small stain on my plaid skirt. Maybe from OJ, maybe from the Javanese sugar syrup I covered my pancakes in this morning. It’s like my entire outfit is rebelling against me.
Ever since I got the offer from Draycott, I’ve been having this nightmare of being greeted by an admin who looks like she was built by an AI. Basically someone who looks like Betsy DeVos. “I’m so sorry, Lia,” AI Betsy would say, “but there’s been a mistake with your scholarship. You see, this school is a jewelry box, and you are not a diamond.” And then she’d flick me away like a piece of lint.
No matter how many times I try telling myself that I belong here, that they sought me out for track, telling me I was “the next Usain Bolt,” I can’t shake this feeling deep in my core that I’m all wrong for this place. That no matter how fast my legs are, they can never outrun my background.
The sight of Draycott Academy doesn’t soothe my nerves. The place is gorgeous, tucked into the lush, green hills of Northern California. The sloping, red roof of the school peeks over the top of cypress trees as we drive down an aggressively manicured lawn. Then the line of trees ends, and suddenly we see Draycott in all its glory; a palace masquerading as a boarding school. My mouth goes dry at the sight of the main building. It’s an eff you to the laid-back style of most Californian architecture. Tall, imposing, and so utterly extra.
Ibu slides into a parking spot, between a Jaguar and a Benz, and takes off her seat belt.
“Mom, what are you doing?” I say.
“I want to see this school. And call me Ibu. I don’t like it when you pretend you’re not Indo. And I need to take pictures for the family—”
“I’ll send you pictures!” The thought of my mom going into ridiculous, gravity-defying poses to get the perfect angle for her pictures is making me shrill.
“Oh, alright. You don’t want me here, I get it.”
“It’s not like that.” I mean, it sort of is.
Ibu smiles at me, but it’s strained. “Got you a present.”
“Really?”
She takes something out of her bag. It’s an old pair of shoelaces. From my very first track shoes.
“Wow.” It’s like a punch straight to the heart. I can’t believe she kept these tattered things all these years. “Bu—”
“I’m so proud of you.” She tucks my hair behind my ear, her eyes filling with tears. “You got your kris?”
I pull out my pendant from under my shirt. The pendant is an actual metal kris the length of my pinkie. The curvy edges are sharp enough to cut someone, so it’s always kept in a golden sheath. I’ve worn it ever since I was too little to know what a kris was. As with everything Ibu makes me do, it’s for good luck.
“Just keep it on you at all times, okay? Don’t tempt the fates. Now go before I change my mind and take eighty-eight pictures of you in this place.”
I laugh through my tears and plant a kiss on each of her brown cheeks before getting out of the car. I take deep breaths as she drives away, then I turn back to look at my new school.
I’ve seen it online, but nothing prepares me for actually being here. If this were a hotel, it’s the kind that would have bellhops swanning around with top hats and white gloves. But here, instead of a bellhop, there’s a pretty, Asian girl. She’s wearing jeans and a light-pink sweater. Why isn’t she wearing the school uniform?
Then it hits me. It’s Saturday. We don’t have to wear the school uniform today. Argh. Is there a tree I can change behind?
But too late; I’ve been spotted. The girl waves at me with a smile.
“Hi, Lia Set—set—eye wan?”
“It’s pronounced Set-ee-ah-one, but don’t worry about it. Just Lia will do.” My surname, Setiawan, has tripped up more people than the rogue step at my old school.
“Welcome! I’m Beth, your RA. I’ll show you around and help you get settled in and everything. Oh, you look great in our uniform.”
“Um, I should change out of it. I totally forgot it’s Saturday.”
“Don’t worry about it. You could take off the blazer. You must be dying in it.”
I am, in fact, dying in it. I wasn’t expecting such warm weather. Damn you, climate change. But underneath the blazer, I’m wearing a Walmart shirt with a sad rhinoceros saying, “Extinction Sucks,” and now I can’t remember what possessed me to wear this shirt today, of all days.
“Oh, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me!” I chirp, while sweat slowly trickles down my back.
“Okay, come on in, we can drop off your bags at reception. They’ll send them over to your room.”
The front doors sweep open. I step inside. And pause.
It’s impossible not to stop and gape at the main hall. It’s like something out of Harry Potter. The floor is a dark-chocolate wood draped with thick, intricate rugs that swallow people’s footsteps. On the right is a large reception desk, inlaid with rich, green leather. The reception desk people are dressed in tailored black suits and speak in low voices, which makes them seem über-important.
“You okay?” Beth says.
I hurriedly close my mouth. Be. Cool. “Yeah.” I walk after her and try to look like all of this is nothing special to me. There are about a half dozen other kids in here, checking in. None of them gives any of this a second glance—not the giant fireplace, not the chandelier, not the life-size paintings smiling benevolently down at us. Beth bypasses the line of students and gestures at someone. A second later, a bellboy appears—complete with hat and white gloves—and whisks away my bags before I can say a thing.
“Ready to go?”
Beth opens the French doors with a flourish, leading me out onto a huge quad. There is so much rolling greenery, dotted with students just enjoying the morning. I remember reading in my welcome booklet that the school grounds are about two hundred acres. I didn’t know, then, how big that is. Now I do. It is hella big.
As we walk, I study my new schoolmates from the corner of my eye. Need to get a feel for the place, figure out how to fit in. Or at least how to not stick out so much. None of them, I realize with a sinking feeling, are wearing their school blazer. A few are wearing T-shirts, so I take off my blazer and stuff it into my backpack.
“Oh my god, I love your shirt!” Beth says. “What is that, Prada?”
Is she being sarcastic? I honestly can’t tell. “Um.”
“Aiya, I’m just kidding. That’s obviously Kenzo, isn’t it? I adore their spring line, but my mom wouldn’t let me get any until after I decluttered. She really got into Marie Kondo’s show and hired her to declutter our house—”
“Wait, your mom hired. Uh. Marie Kondo? As in the Marie Kondo from Netflix?” I say.
Beth stares at me. “Yeah. Why?”
Does she honestly not see how crazy pants that is? “No reason. Yeah, everyone I know hired her too,” I joke.
She nods, completely serious. “Same. Anyway, Marie said I needed to go through all my stuff one by one, and I tried, I really did, but that would’ve taken me the entire summer, and then I’d have to go through my second closet, and then my third, and…”
How many closets does she have?!
Beth doesn’t even get the chance to finish her list of closets before a shriek, raw and desperate, pierces the air.
“What the hell’s that?” Beth says, but I’m already running, instinct taking over my entire body. The screaming is still going on, an animalistic cry that’s an almost-physical yank. Beth struggles to keep up with me, but there’s no chance of catching up; my legs are the sole reason I’m here, after all.
I’m one of the first to get there, and I have no idea what to do.
It’s another Asian girl. It strikes me for a fleeting second that there are a lot more Asians in this school than I thought there would be. She’s gorgeous, like K-pop-level beautiful. And she’s kicking and screaming like a wild animal. Two campus policemen are literally hauling her out of the building.
The sight makes me feel sick. It’s wrong, seeing this beautiful girl being dragged away like that. My entire being is revolting against it. I take a step forward, not sure what I’m about to do, and another campus cop appears, out of nowhere, and says, “Stay back, kid.” His voice is steel. His hand moves towards his holster. No guns, but he has a Taser. My legs go all trembly. I used to think that’s just an expression, but they’re literally trembling, the weight of my body suddenly too much to bear.
Other kids start to arrive. Thank god. With only me here, I won’t be able to do much. But with more people around, we’d be able to stop them. We’d—
The guy next to me takes out his phone and aims it at the struggling girl.
Video evidence. Yes. The more the better. This is so clearly wrong. But as I scramble for my phone, the guy stops recording and starts tapping on his phone, smiling. Then he says to his friend, “Sent to DD!”
Everyone around me looks at their phone. Smirks appear. A couple of kids are openly giggling at whatever they see. Some are still recording the struggling, but I don’t think they’re doing it to help her. They’re watching her futile fight with a hungry light in their eyes, shark grins on their faces.
What the hell’s wrong with them?
I take a step forward. A hand clamps down on my shoulder.
“Lia!” Beth says. “Don’t.”
“We need to help her!”
The girl’s voice has broken, her screams now hoarse, unintelligible moans. The desperation in her voice makes my chest tighten. I need to—
“Stay out of it. Seriously.” Beth is tiny, but her grip is unforgiving.
I’m about to pull away when someone steps out of the same building the girl and the cops came out of. An adult. Relief floods my veins. He’ll do something.
But he doesn’t. He strolls down the stone steps slowly, leisurely, holding something to his face. A bloodstained handkerchief. Something about him makes me instinctively shrink away.
Someone in the distance shouts. A boy, gangly, with a mop of dark hair. “Sophie! Soph—what’s going on?”
The phones are whipped around and aimed at him.
At the sight of him, the girl renews her struggle. “Logan! Help me! You gotta tell them! It wasn’t me! It was him!”
“Stay back,” the campus police thunders, shoving the boy away with a meaty hand. The other two officers strengthen their grip on the girl. Her feet scrape uselessly across the gravel as they carry her away. I move toward them, but Beth stops me again.
“Seriously, Lia. Don’t. You don’t wanna be involved in the mess that is Sophie Tanaka.”
“But—”
Something makes me look at the man with the handkerchief, his blond hair dazzling in the sunlight. He’s closer now. Close enough for me to see his expression. He’s not smiling or anything, but I know, I would bet money on it, he’s enjoying this. He stares at the girl until she’s almost out of sight, and he doesn’t blink. A predator watching its kill’s last breaths.
“Poor Mr. Werner,” Beth says. “Looks like Sophie punched him in the face. Man, see what I said about not getting involved with that brand of batshit?”
I just stand there stupidly, gaping at her. “What’s gonna happen to that girl?”
“They’ll put her somewhere safe until her parents pick her up.”
“Where?”
“You know, I’ve never thought of that.” She taps a nearby girl on the shoulder. “Elle, do you know where they’re taking Sophie? Do we have like, a little school jail or something?”
Elle shrugs. “Probably to the medical center so she can get sedated.”
The guy next to Elle snorts. “It’s gonna take a hell of a lot of drugs to get her down. She’s probably high as shit right now. Did you see her eyes?” Then his gaze rests on me. “Oh, hey. New kid.”
Heads turn. Eyes crawl over me. My skin bursts into gooseflesh. I want to run, to dive behind the first bush I come across.
“Enough of that,” Beth trills. “You guys are going to scare her away.” She steers me away from the crowd. “Sorry about that. I promise you that’s not an everyday occurrence here.”
I try to shake off the weight of my schoolmates’ gazes on our backs. God, what is this place? Dread has suffused every single one of my veins. “Is that girl going to be okay?”
Beth waves off my concern. “She’ll be fine. Sophie used to be in our year, but she started doing drugs—not the cool designer ones, but the really gross, common ones—and she just went in a downward spiral. Came to class one day barely dressed, started ranting about all sorts of crazy stuff. They kicked her out after that.”
The sense of dread is quickly replaced by a sense of what the hell? “Cool designer drugs?” Has Chanel started foraying into pharmacology?
“You know, like Spice, or Gravel, or Molly.”
What the hell is Spice or Gravel? I’ve heard of Molly, but the others are new to me.
Beth laughs at my expression. “I’m kidding, Lia! Obviously we don’t do such things here. I have no idea where Sophie got her drugs from, but yeah, it was scary. I hope she gets help. I don’t know how she got back in here. Security’s pretty tight. Speaking of security…” She rummages in her handbag and hands me a card with my name and picture on it. “Here is your student ID. You need it to get into all the buildings and to pay for your meals and stuff.”
“Thanks.” I almost take my wallet out but decide against it at the last minute. Show Beth my ragged, little cotton coin purse I’m using as a wallet? Nooo, thank you. I stuff the card into my back pocket.
“Anyway! Back to the tour.” Beth’s already walking ahead. “That’s Highland Hall,” she says, pointing to the building that Sophie had been dragged out of. “It’s where all most of the freshman and sophomore classes are taught.”
Looking at the pristine, majestic building, it’s hard to imagine that just moments ago, we witnessed someone my age being dragged bodily out of it.
Beth leads me past Highland Hall and points out over a dozen more buildings as we walk. By the time she takes me to a building called Mather and tells me it’s the girls’ dorms, I feel dazed. There’s no chance in hell I’m going to be able to remember where everything is. And why can’t they call the buildings what they are instead of naming them after dead people?
“That building over there’s Mansfield. It’s the boys’ dorm. We’re not allowed in each other’s dorms after six p.m. Though there are ways around it, of course.” She winks at me, then unlocks the front door of Mather with her card and sweeps inside.
“Holy crap.” The lobby of the girls’ dorm is so grand, it takes my breath away. Not exaggerating; I actually do feel winded, surrounded by the gorgeous interior. Lots of mahogany and ornate furniture that looks way too breakable to be part of a high school. Larger-than-life oil paintings of women in historical garb line the wood-paneled walls. Rosa Parks, Rosalind Franklin, Marie Curie. That’s one hell of a bar to set.
I hurry after Beth down a side hallway, where the bedrooms are. A whiteboard hangs outside each room, each one filled with all sorts of doodles and notes. A few of the doors are open, and I catch glimpses of girls listening to music, playing on their computers, or chatting with each other. A couple wave and smile at me, which is somewhat surprising. In my old school, new kids are examined with sullen suspicion before being shuffled into one of the accepted categories—shanker or shanked. I’m kidding. Or am I?
A couple of the rooms we pass are empty, with their doors open. Shiny laptops and speakers lay unattended on the desks.
“Uh, how come people here don’t lock their doors?”
Beth looks confused.
Am I really going to have to explain the concept of theft? What kind of amazing bubble have I entered? “Aren’t people afraid that stuff might go missing?”
“Oh!” Beth laughs. “Draycott’s super safe. We’ve never had any problems with anything like that.” She hesitates. “What’s your neighborhood like?”
Metal detectors. Lockers wrenched open and looted. Cars stolen right from the school parking lot. “Um, not like this.” Abort, abort. I most definitely do not want to be talking about South Melville to anyone here. “What about you? Where are you from?”
“I’m from San Marino.”
“Wow.” I’ve been there once, when some fluke had us competing with San Marino Prep. The houses there are gigantic, bordered by rosebushes, Benzes and Lambos in the driveways.
“Yeah, it’s nice. I miss it sometimes. Anyway, here is your room. I’ll let you do the honors.”
My heart thuds. My own room at last. The apartment I live in with Ibu is a one-bedroom. Enough said.
I push open the door and pause for a moment so I don’t lose it and start squealing.
My new room. It’s beautiful. Okay, it’s probably pretty standard, as far as rooms go: single bed, study desk, wardrobe. But it also has a huge window overlooking the quad. Dappled sunlight streams through the window, dust motes glittering as they swirl lazily above the study desk (MY study desk!), and quite honestly, it looks magical AF. I take off my shoes—I’m not a caveman—and run to the window. I was going to fling it open all dramatically, but it’s old and not the flinging type. I end up grunting as I struggle to slide it up, where it wedges about a foot up. Well, never mind. The rest of the room more than makes up for it.
“Do you like it?” Beth is actually biting her lip, as if worried I might be disappointed by the room. I want to hug her.
“I love it! This is—it’s totally cool.” I try, and fail, to wipe the idiotic grin off my face.
Beth smiles. “I’m glad to hear that. So this is where your tour ends. Any questions?”
I shake my head.
“I’m just two doors down if you need me.”
“Cool.”
After she leaves, I start unpacking and find something lukewarm at the bottom of my duffel bag. Ack. Ibu had insisted on packing me some of her homemade pisang goreng. I told her no, it would be the death of me to have everyone see me unwrapping this greasy package of fried bananas, but since when does she listen? And I hate to admit it, but I’m sort of glad she’d ignored me.
I’m in the midst of inhaling the homey scent when a shrill giggle from the corridor makes me jump. A couple of girls gallop past my room, shouting and laughing in that obnoxious louder-than-necessary way.
“—see her boobs? They got crazy big over the break!”
“Uh, yeah, all thanks to Dr. Carroll. Krista said they cost her like ten grand.”
“Are you serious? That’s such a steal. Oh my god, I’m totally going to ask my mom for a pair when we go back for summer—”
I release my breath only after they’re out of earshot. Then, hating myself, I stride to the trash can and throw the package away. Sorry, Ibu.
I go back to unpacking, pulling out a faded blue-and-gold shirt. My old track uniform. It’s a security blanket for my soul, albeit a ratty, smelly one. After locating an ideal spot above a chest of drawers, I take a pin from my bag and stick it in. But as soon as I let go of the shirt, it slides off the wall and ends up behind the drawers.
Dammit. I grip both ends of the drawers and pull. As it moves, I catch a flash of red written on the wall behind it.
WERNER IS GUILTY.
The words are scrawled in red, ground into the wall with so much force, I can almost taste the hatred behind them. Oh-kaaay. This is weird. It is, right? Graffiti’s everywhere in South Melville. But here? It seems weird. Also, who’s Werner and what’s he or she guilty of? The name sounds familiar.
Beth’s voice comes back to mind. “Did she punch Mr. Werner?” she’d said, as we watched the girl being taken away.
So. Mr. Werner’s that creepy teacher who looks like a possessed Ken doll. Which means…this room belonged to Sophie. The girl with the desperate eyes, shrieking like a lamb at the slaughterhouse. She’s flunked out, and here I am, taking her place.