“He is totally going to end up going out with Erin Breeler.”
During the Thursday afternoon torture that is Shakespeare, Lauren manages to say what the whole of our year is thinking. And it’s a real tragedy.
“I know,” I whisper. “I spoke to him at lunch and thought exactly the same thing. He even SMELLS good, like a really expensive oil diffuser.”
Lauren giggles. “Expensive oil diffuser?! Like Gary has in his car? Christmas spruce and gingerbread? But how have you been close enough to him to smell him?”
How to explain this one? “I was under the coats with Bradley Sanderson, and he disturbed us.”
Lauren looks like she has developed Seriously Miffed Disease and hisses, “I think your next vlog should be about when you don’t tell your best friend about the biggest things that are happening in your life right now.”
I have to spend the next five minutes reassuring Lauren that we were just having an undercover vlogging master class, which was her idea in the first place. When I finally convince her that she’ll be the first to know WHENEVER I kiss someone, she shouts, “Now TELL ME what you found out about Danny!”
The class goes quiet. Erin Breeler and Miranda turn around and stare at us. Once we’ve been told to calm down by Mrs. Foss and are safely holding our copies of Romeo and Juliet in front of our faces, I have to admit that I don’t know a lot more than she does. But I do tell her that he had the idea for #Help.
Lauren grunts. “There’s a photo of him on Instagram. Well, of his back. Have you seen it?”
We hide my phone in my pencil case and find the photo. It’s on Leanne Pilton’s Instagram, which is mainly full of her dog. She managed to basically pat the back of the lovely Canadian. He looks Big Ben–tall and has a fantastic bum even in regulation school trousers.
“Should we be looking at a photo of a bum?” I ask Lauren. “I feel a bit wrong and sweaty. As feminists, we go after boys who do that to girls.”
We stop looking. It’s hard, but as Mum says, principles are often hard to carry, but that doesn’t mean you should drop them. I keep the image in the guilty bit of my mind, though.
I know Lauren is still thinking about it, too. She starts off discussing the latest Mr. Style Shame post, but midway through talking about what everyone is now calling “the Pug Print Disaster,” she changes the subject.
“You should share that you’ve spoken to Danny and that you like him, Millie. You’re basically being a journalist by doing that. It’s the breaking news everyone wants to know. OR you could just comment on Leanne’s photo and say something like, ‘Canada’s a great place and full of quite excellent people’ and then just add loads of winky faces and hearts. We’ll know what you mean!”
The truth is, I do like him—even more so after the coat incident. It’s not just his looks—it’s his whole vibe. And why shouldn’t I tell people I met him and he was nice?! I’m going to do JUST as Lauren says. That’s what a strong woman does. I can’t worry about what other people think ALL the time. I can’t worry about what Erin might do or even if Danny might see it. That’s sensible. I am sensible. IT IS SENSIBLE TO LIKE CANADA and share that fact. I have decided.