I am not wise. I’m certainly not brave. If I like Danny, I shouldn’t let Erin stop me from trying to get to know him. I should be asking for his number, not writing messages about Canada.
And that’s pathetic, isn’t it? I am completely changing what I do just so she’ll ignore me. That’s not wise. It’s dumb.
I think about all this during history and miss some key points about World War I. This makes me feel completely guilty, because clearly it was totally dreadful and really mattered.
The end-of-school bell charges me out of a total spiral of worry. Lauren rushes over to me, brandishing her phone with a face of total fury. “LOOK! HOW. Does. SHE. Do. It?!”
I look. There for all to see and already with thirty-two likes is a selfie of Erin and Danny. It’s a fantastic aerial shot. She’s obviously used her selfie stick and her phone cover with backlighting. The filter makes them even better-looking than normal.
Erin has captioned the picture:
Welcome to @DannyTruds from Ontario #NewBoy Thank you, Danny, for letting me post this cute selfie! And let me tell you all, my new BBF (Best Boy Friend, before you ask) is a keeper;) Remember, girls, #StrongMen like #StrongWomen, and don’t be too shy to make a boy your friend #Feminism
“Can you even believe it?” Lauren says. “The truth is, no one has been more evil to you or to me than Erin Breeler. If being a feminist means you are nice to all women, then she is not one.”
I don’t think feminism means that. It means we as females believe we are entitled to be treated equally and ought to have the same opportunities as men. And that we should not be judged completely on our looks.
Lauren has a different point of view. “Well, I think it should be about being nice to women. And if it’s about not being judged JUST on how we look, then I am not taking anything from a woman who has an Instagram account about how pretty she is!”
Lauren does have a point there, but Erin has SLAIN us on this one. She bags Mr. Beautiful Boy AND gets to sound like a cool and independent woman who doesn’t look at secret photos of men’s bums and is great at life advice.
“One good thing,” Lauren shouts excitedly, “is that it’s completely fine to stare at his photo now. Danny Trudeau. He sounds like an amazing brand of car tire that would never let you down in any sort of terrain! He’s way out of our league, Millie.”
Lauren is right, but this makes me cross. “Why is he? We’re attractive, funny, clever, modern women. He’d be lucky to go out with either of us.”
I don’t believe this, but as Aunty Teresa says, fake it till you make it.
“Yes, Millie.” Lauren rolls her eyes. “There is no doubt in my mind that you’re going to end up married to him.”
This is Erin’s fault. She makes Lauren sarcastic and me either frightened or ridiculous.
Lauren doesn’t need to say it. We all know who he’ll end up going out with. Erin might be pretending that she’s got a new guy friend, but we know her game. No way is she letting him out of her sight now. She’ll share the picture of their first official coffee, their first time at the cinema, and the first lovely photo of them under a really nice tree with lots of dramatic branches. That’s real life. That’s how it works. We’ll get to see their entire annoying love affair all in the Valencia or Hefe filters. And of course I’m going to look. I know I shouldn’t, but I will.
And yes, MASSIVE jealousy face. Jealousy and annoyance at horrible girls snogging lovely boys IS common sense and right and would probably be approved by any sensible leader of any sensible country.