On the way home from school, Lauren and I finally read all the comments underneath my vlog. It has nearly five hundred views. Not terrible.
The comments? Er … they’re … mixed.
Good advice … if you are stupid
This helped with Mum, thanks!
Okay, this is a nice person who deserves a response.
Don’t talk about things that you don’t understand
OMG pretty gurl
#Angst
Bit weird but quite good really
Who do you think you are stupid cow?
Lose 34lbs a week on the guava diet
Why are you in a shed? LOL
Respect from Brazil!
Hot. How old are you;)
Are you a feminist? Is that why you are bare-faced?
I take a few deep breaths.
“Mills! Don’t be sad, that’s a really good question!” Lauren says. “Answer that and also say you’re not being anti-makeup. You’re just saying it is fine not to wear makeup.”
Between you and me, I’m feeling a bit flat and angry. Erin has managed to twist everything I have said, ignore the main bit of advice about insane adults, and make it somehow all about her. AGAIN.
I start ranting at Lauren. “You know, next time I will do half of it in makeup and half not and that will shut EVERYONE UP!”
Lauren stops us both dead in the street. “Hang on, though. That could be a great idea.”
I gape at her. “If I do that, EVERYONE will think I’m a complete and utter idiot. Everyone will be talking about it. Everyone…”
Hang on. When you think about it, it’s the most perfect way to make my point. This is actually a fantastic idea.
“LAUREN”—I hug her tight—“YOU ARE A GENIUS!” We dance up and down outside McDonald’s for a bit.
Lauren nods her head, very proud of herself. “I’ll do one side of your face made up and one side not. You’ll look great both ways. Everyone will love you. You will answer Erin without deliberately going for her. Feminism and makeup will be saved. You may even become a sensation.”
And then she gives me some serious head-swaying sass. “And now you think Bradley is the vlogging BOMB—”
“Well, er, yes, but no, but … bye, Lauren! See you tomorrow!”
I quickly run away before she can ask me anything more. Perhaps wanting to see Bradley ISN’T just about vlogging. Perhaps I am having major feelings for someone brainy and sweet and perhaps …
When I get to our street, I see that Mum is waiting on Granddad’s front porch. She is not happy.
It’s very easy to lose the ability to talk when my mum is giving The Stare.
“Millie,” she says as she guides and sort of pushes me into the house. “We NEED to talk. NOW.”