I wake up early the next day. It’s difficult sleeping at the moment because I can’t wait to look at what’s happened to the vlog. In fact, I do check it a few times in the night because the South American crew is a bit behind us time-wise and I just want to see if not speaking Spanish or Portuguese makes a difference to my message.
Who am I kidding? This is a fight for school subscribers—not for global supremacy.
The good news is … my subs are growing. Over three hundred. And I’ve had more than 452 views. Erin gave me the most excellent piece of advertising ever by having a major dig at me.
The bad news is … the comments. They are mainly horrible.
I have two pet dinosaurs that aren’t getting on. What do you suggest?
(Okay, actual LOL!)
Dweeb. Dog.
You think you’re cool. What you know? Dweeby Dog.
Cute idea! Nice vlog ☺
Of course feminism is about how you look! Please leave intelligent things to the grown-ups
I bet Germaine Greer and Caitlin Moran are quaking in their boots!
(I think this is sarcastic.)
Only ugly girls are feminists
(CAN YOU BELIEVE PEOPLE LIKE THIS EVEN EXIST?! TROLL!)
Offensive to REAL feminists
Ugly girl moans about men. Same old same old
You’re ugly whatever. Put bag over head!
Okay. That one does really, really get to me. I look in the mirror. No, I’m not Erin Breeler–standard (who is?), but I’m not ugly, either. And so what if I was?! It’s like what J. K. Rowling said—is fat (or, in this case, ugly) really the worst thing we can be? It’s not. It’s worse to be a nasty piece of work who goes out to make people feel horrible about themselves.
That isn’t what J. K. Rowling said exactly, by the way. She said it better, but …
Ugly?
It HURTS. And I can’t stop thinking about it. And the sensible side of me thinks it’s just some troll spreading the hate, but this HUGE side of me says that all this vlogging is a terrible idea and Mum is completely right and I’m completely wrong.
Why would you write that stuff? I mean, why would you go out to make someone feel bad about themselves when they have done nothing to you whatsoever?
I call Lauren first thing in the morning.
“Have you seen the comment that says I’m ugly?”
“Oh, Mills! That is TOTALLY just a troll. Look at all the other comments! There are some NICE comments on there, too. What would you say to me? ‘Don’t focus on the twonk! Look at all the other lovely twonkless things!’”
This is true. My sensible self is rebounding back onto me. “What should I do next, Loz?”
Lauren’s voice slightly collapses. “To be honest, Mills, I’ve got quite a lot to think about myself at the moment. After I got home last night, my dad accused my mum of fracking an entire cheesecake.”
I’m trying to make a great vlog and I need Lauren’s help, BUT what she’s saying makes no sense. I snap at her a bit. “Fracking as in when you mine for gas and stuff?”
“Yeah!” Lauren sighs sadly. “He said she ate it like an industrial process. He just knows what will really wind her up. The way she looks, the way she snores, the way she eats…”
I try to get her back on what we were talking about: my vlog and me getting trolled into trolldom and beyond. We both know we can’t fix her parents.
“You realize what your biggest problem is, Millie? It’s Erin. Yesterday I heard from lovely Gracie that Erin’s thinking of launching a style vlog. If you ask me, that’s definitely a revenge vlog attack. Anyway, see you at school in a bit.”
As soon as I’m off the phone with Lauren, I check Erin’s Instagram. Sure enough, she’s posted the most gorgeous selfie ever with:
NEWS of an exciting new partnership with some people I KNOW you will love. Plus something you’ve always wanted! And I promise it’s not going to involve garden sheds;) It’s just going to be COMMITTED TO GORGEOUS #ComingSoon
Her friend Miranda has commented:
Can’t wait, E! Will make a change from some DULLSVILLE preachy channels;)
This feels like a war now. I don’t want it to be a war. I want it to be a peace. A big piece of peace. Perhaps Bradley will have some suggestions about what to do. There must be rival escalator vlogs that want to bring him down.
That wasn’t meant to be a bad up-down joke, by the way. Even though it was.
Sorry.