Jennifer raced across the front lawn and hurled herself headfirst onto the monkey bars.
“She’s going to knock her teeth out,” Cora said.
Sherry Carter laughed. “Well, aren’t you the nervous Nellie. I thought it was the mother who was supposed to be overprotective, not the great-aunt.”
“Well, you don’t have to bend over backwards in the opposite direction,” Cora said. “It’s a wonder the kid got to be as old as she is. How old is she?”
“She’s three.”
“Three going on sixteen. I tell you, that kid’s ready to start dating, and, trust me, she’ll choose the most undesirable boys.”
“Now, now, Cora. Just because you did doesn’t mean she will.”
“I chose wonderful boys. It’s husbands where I had a problem. So did you, as I recall.”
Sherry’s first husband, Dennis, had been a disaster. He was the reason for the whole Puzzle Lady facade. Cora had never forgiven him for it.
“I’m batting five hundred,” Sherry said. “A damn sight better than your average.”
“Yeah. I’m below the Mendoza line. You don’t have to rub it in.”
“The Mendoza line?”
“He had a lifetime two hundred batting average. How can you create puzzles and not know that?” Cora pointed. “Look what she’s doing now!”
Jennifer was hanging upside down by her knees from a high bar.
“Relax. She’s fine.”
“What are you going to tell Aaron when he gets home and finds out she fell on her head?”
“I’ll tell him you weren’t watching her.”
“Sherry Carter, what did I ever do to you?”
“You know what you did to me. You come out here, you want me to construct a crossword puzzle.”
“I don’t want you to construct a crossword puzzle. Chief Harper wants you to construct a crossword puzzle.”
“Maybe I’m wrong, but doesn’t Chief Harper want you to construct a crossword puzzle?”
“I can’t do it.”
“My point exactly.”
“You knew I couldn’t do it when you got me into this mess. You knew you were always going to have to construct the crossword puzzles for me. Now, do you want to keep doing that, or do you want to tell people I’m a big fake, it’s a hollow charade, and let the whole Puzzle Lady franchise crash and burn, along with the sizable income that allows us to pay for this nice Connecticut property, including the comfortable two-story addition? Or do you think we can make it on Aaron’s salary alone?”
Sherry’s husband was a reporter for the Bakerhaven Gazette.
“Aaron works hard.”
“So do you. Oh, no, you don’t. You retired from teaching preschool to handle the less demanding but far more lucrative job of writing crossword puzzles. Every now and then you’ll be called upon to create an extra one to keep up the facade, but that seems a small price to pay for the cash cow that is the Puzzle Lady franchise.”
Jennifer had untangled herself from her upside-down position and was traversing the upper rungs of the monkey bars like a spider.
“You should have a video camera,” Cora said.
“We do. I just have so much footage of her climbing the monkey bars already. Now, what is it Chief Harper wants, exactly?”
“A crossword puzzle extolling the virtues of the police department.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
“That’s what he wants.”
“Can it be funny?”
“How can it possibly be funny?”
“You don’t write my column. Anything can be funny. I just need a short poem about the police.”
“‘Our cops are tops.’”
“Not that short.”
“‘Bakerhaven’s finest—’”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Sherry said. “I’m not doing a Sunday puzzle here. We’re talking fifteen by fifteen. ‘Bakerhaven’s finest’ is more than fifteen letters itself. I need lines nine or ten letters long.”
“Now I have to write the poem for you?”
“Unless you trust me to do it.”
“Now why does that sound like a threat?”
“It’s not a threat. I’m just warning you what you’re going to get.”
“There’s a poem. ‘Ain’t no threat, it’s what you’re gonna get.’”
“Never mind. I’ll do it myself.”
“That’s probably wise,” Cora said.
“You couldn’t just make him a Sudoku?”
“I made him a Sudoku.” Cora reached in her floppy drawstring purse, pulled it out, and held it up for Sherry.
“You expect me to solve this?” Sherry said.
“No. I know you’re not able to. Which is why I don’t taunt you with it and make fun of you. Because I’m a nice person who appreciates the congenial working relationship that is the basis of the Puzzle Lady franchise.”
Sherry said something that could hardly be considered congenial.
“My, my,” Cora said. “It’s a good thing Jennifer’s way over there on the monkey bars.”
“So? You gonna solve this or not?”
Cora dug in her purse for the solution. “Here you go.”
Sherry scanned the solution grid. “So what’s it mean?”
Cora shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just numbers. Which is why Chief Harper wasn’t thrilled. Which is why I need a puzzle.”
Sherry looked up from the Sudoku. “You showed this to me just to point out I couldn’t do it?”
“No. To point out I tried to save you. I don’t bring you puzzles just to torture you. Only when I can’t get out of it.”
“You couldn’t have sicced the chief on Harvey Beerbaum?”
Harvey was Bakerhaven’s other resident cruciverbalist. He, like Becky, knew Cora couldn’t solve puzzles. When the police wanted help with one, she often passed the honor on to him.
“I tried. It’s for charity. It’s not so much the puzzle they want as the Puzzle Lady name.”
“Wonderful.”
Cora stuck the Sudoku in her purse, looked back at the monkey bars.
Jennifer was climbing down headfirst. Somehow she made it seem logical.
“Anything else I can do for you?” Sherry said sarcastically.
Cora cocked her head. “You wouldn’t have a client for Becky Baldwin, would you?”