Chairwoman: Shalom everyone. Thanks for coming. First, I want to say thanks to Gilly for letting us use her house again —
Gilly S.: No problem, you’re always welcome —
Chairwoman: and to Gilly’s husband for the lovely cookies —
Danny M.: I brought the drinks!
Chairwoman: And to Danny for bringing the Diet Coke and the orange juice. Right. Let’s start. I’d like to welcome everyone who came —
Misha B.: Aharon asked me to apologize on his behalf, but he couldn’t make it today.
Danny M.: Abducted by the Greys again?
Misha B.: He has an appointment with the doctor.
Misha B.: Why are you laughing?
Chairwoman: Order, please! OK, moving on. First item: the annual payment is almost due. We now have eleven registered members —
Mike L.: Ten.
Chairwoman: Ten?
Mike L.: Gideon’s got a job in New York, he’s leaving in two weeks.
Chairwoman: Nice of him to tell us.
Mike L.: What do you want from the guy?
Chairwoman: Me? Why? I just think it’s basic decency to let your colleagues know if —
Mike L.: I heard you were more than colleagues.
Misha B.: Why are they laughing?
Chairwoman: Order! Order! Mike, I want an apology from you right now!
Mike L.: I’m sorry.
Chairwoman: Right. OK. I want to remind all members to bring the membership fee for the next meeting, cash or cheque. Next week we have a lecture from Dr. Amos Oliani, who is an astrophysicist and has done a lot of research on the Fermi Paradox —
Dganit S.: How?
Chairwoman: What do you mean, how?
Dganit S.: How could he do a lot of research on the Fermi Paradox? The whole point of it is that, though statistically there should be thousands of technological civilizations out there, we can’t see any of them, so where are they? That’s the paradox.
Chairwoman: So?
Dganit S.: So how can you research something that you can’t see?
Danny M.: By watching The X-Files?
Mike L.: Roswell. It’s the only way to know for sure.
Dganit S.: Oh, shut up already with Roswell.
Mike L.: Shut up? Don’t you tell me to shut up. That’s exactly what they want, that people like me would shut up.
Dganit S.: They?
Mike L.: You know exactly what I’m talking about.
Dganit S.: I don’t think even you know what you’re talking about.
Misha B.: I agree with Mike. The only way to prove it once and for all is for the American military to release the Roswell files —
Dganit S.: You’re even worse than he is —
Mike L.: Sceptic! Doubter! Why are you here? Did they put you here to spy?
Chairwoman: Order! Order!
Mike L.: And besides, we all know the Israeli air force shot down a UFO during the Six Day War, and that’s what we should be focusing on!
Gilly S.: I have to agree. We need to step up the campaign to have the government release the files of the Tel Aviv Report —
Misha B.: I concur.
Mike L.: Thank you. At least some of us have sense.
Dganit S.: What Tel Aviv Report?
Mike L.: You call yourself a UFO researcher? Did you fall off the ignorant tree hitting every branch on the way down?
Chairwoman: Order! Mike, apologize to Dganit.
Mike L.: I’m sorry.
Dganit S.: It’s okay. I’m not bothered by retarded little morons with attention-deficit disorder —
Mike L.: How dare you?
Chairwoman: I said order!
Misha B.: I concur.
Danny M.: The Tel Aviv Report, Dganit, is the top secret document prepared by the special investigative committee after the shooting down of an unidentified flying object over Tel Aviv during the Six Day War.
Dganit S.: If it’s top secret, how come you know about it?
Mike L.: I really pity you, you know that?
Danny M.: Let’s just say the UFO community has means of obtaining information. Some high-up people in power are sympathetic to our aims, you know?
Misha B.: Really?
Mike L.: Of course. You think Aharon is the only abductee in the country? The military takes the threat of alien infiltration very seriously.
Gilly S.: They say Gideon personally worked with the committee as an advisor —
Dganit S.: Maybe that’s why he’s leaving the country —
Misha B.: Why are they laughing?
Chairwoman: Order, please.
Misha B.: What’s that?
Mike L.: What’s what?
Danny M.: I felt that too!
Dganit S.: Me too.
Chairwoman: Dear God.
Misha B.: What?
Danny M.: What?
Chairwoman: The window — look out the window!
Danny M.: I can’t see!
Mike L.: Don’t push me!
Danny M.: Move out of the way!
Gilly S.: Will you two please shut up?
Misha B.: Is that a UFO?
Mike L.: It’s not your standard saucer or cigar-shaped vehicle —
Danny M.: My God! At last! It’s true! It’s all true!
Dganit S.: It’s a fucking car, you idiot —
Mike L.: Oh, yeah —
Dganit S.: Suspended in mid-air by what seems to be a sort of invisible force field —
Gilly S.: And it’s moving! But —
Mike L.: It’s hostile! All those years, and when we finally make contact —
Misha B.: I think I’m going to be sick.
Gilly S.: We have to stay together. We have to —
Misha B.: Mike! Mike!
Chairwoman: Oh my God. I’m —
Misha B.: Mike!
Danny M.: This can’t be happening. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.
Dganit S.: So now it isn’t real? All of a sudden it’s not real, Danny?
Chairwoman: Misha, get away from the window!
Danny M.: Misha! Somebody do something! Grab her!
Dganit S.: This thing is amazing! And there’s another one! They look just like localized tornadoes, but clearly intelligent — I wonder how they communicate —
Danny M.: You bitch! You heartless bitch! Misha! Misha, I’m coming!
Chairwoman: Bet she heard that one before —
Dganit S.: I’m going out there. I want to try to talk to these creatures.
Chairwoman: What? Dganit — Dganit — come back!
Chairwoman: Shit!
Chairwoman: Gilly, do you have a basement?
Chairwoman: Gilly?
Chairwoman: Oh my God, Gilly —
Chairwoman: The blood — the blood — everywhere —
Chairwoman: I’m going to be sick again —
Chairwoman: Is this thing on?
-- End Transcript --