In some strange way, I’ve learned as much about being a writer from the stories that were rejected by editors as from the ones that were accepted.
And I’ve learned as much about being a mom from the ways I’ve failed and the mistakes I’ve made as I have from the successes.
In many ways, failure is a more eloquent teacher than success. Amos Wells would have us know: “If we have been doing our best, the failure of our work is the success of God’s work in us. If we have done our full duty as prayer discloses it to us, then failure was part of our duty. God sometimes sets tasks in order that they may not be done, for the lessons of failure are far more precious than the teachings of success, and far more difficult to learn.”24
Second Samuel 22:31 says, “As for God, his way is perfect.” If we believe that God’s way is perfect, we must also believe that the times we failed, despite earnest prayer and effort, also fit into his plan for our unique life.
Failure is harder to accept than success. Perhaps that’s why it is able to teach so much more. From it we learn patience, humility, trust.
Nothing makes me quite so humble as acknowledging that I’ve failed again. Nothing teaches me patience as quickly as having to try once more. And nothing teaches me to trust God more than seeing the failure of my own goals and plans. If I’m unable to make things turn out right, it’s comforting to know God has a plan and that his way is perfect.
Not only does God design our failures to bring us closer to him; in a similar fashion, he also uses the people around us to do the same. This verse by an unknown author makes it plain.
God doesn’t give us the people we want—
He gives us the people we need—
To make us into the persons we were meant to be!
The reason God doesn’t always give us success or surround us with people who complement us is clear in the second line—he’s giving us what we need. In his perfect way, he knows what it will take to shape our lives and mold us into the people he wants to welcome to heaven. He’s tirelessly and lovingly working to cut away our sins and the rubbish of our souls. Success won’t bring us to our knees as readily as failure. Compliments won’t make us turn to him as readily as criticism. Pride and arrogance disappear when we stand before him stripped of our selfish goals. Anger and grudges dissolve faster when we ask him to open our eyes to the ways we’ve hurt others.
There is a place for our failures in God’s design for our lives.
It takes the gritty details of our lives to work like sandpaper to smooth out our rough spots. Instead of rebelling against the failures and frustrations, ask God to show you how they fit into your life.
He’s got a reason for them all.
| Prayer | Reflection |
| Show me, O God, how you want me to respond to the things that go wrong in my life. When I’ve failed—again!—help me to get up and go on in your way. | How do I face failure today? How do I work with a difficult person in my life? |