There is nothing quite like a hug from your mum, Olivia thought as she hugged her mother back tightly after stepping through the doorway of her apartment. There was still strain around her mother’s eyes and she looked worn out.
Olivia took a moment to readjust to her familiar surroundings. She’d decorated in whites and creams and the bright, spacious room had always felt like a sanctuary when she walked through the door at the end of a long work day, but had it always felt this sparse before? Compared with her family home, where the walls hung with photos and every spare surface was covered in special knick-knacks and mismatched photo frames, her apartment seemed very bare. She had photos of course, but they were grouped on one hallway table and they were in matching white frames, sorted in purposely positioned groups and arranged in varying heights. Everything had an order in her place, and although she’d always preferred the more minimalist approach to decorating, looking around now, it seemed a little too coolly chic.
‘You didn’t have to come all this way just to visit,’ her mum chastised, pulling her from her distracted musings.
‘I think she’s coming back to make sure we’re behaving,’ Aunty Kay chirped from the kitchen.
‘Well, you two left to run amok is always a bit of a worry,’ Olivia conceded, ‘but it’s not a huge deal—it’s only a couple of hours by plane. Besides, I needed a break from picking up after Ollie. Seriously, Mum, he’s twenty-six years old.’
‘He’s my baby, and he works hard,’ Sue Dawson said with a fond smile.
‘I’m your baby and I work hard too, but no one picks up after me,’ she pointed out dryly.
‘Well, if you were still living at home, I’d do it for you too,’ she said with a shrug, accepting the coffee her sister carried over.
‘Have you managed to get out and do any exploring while you’ve been here?’ Olivia asked her aunty.
‘When I can convince this one to leave Bill’s side long enough,’ she said with a wry shake of her head.
‘We went shopping yesterday,’ her mother said. ‘I don’t know how you manage to find your way around some of those shopping centres. They’re so big. I don’t think I’d like to go there on my own, I’d never find my way out again.’
‘Bit bigger than Griffith,’ Olivia agreed. Her mother said the same thing every time she came to visit. She’d never be a city girl, that was for sure. Olivia enjoyed the convenience of having anything you wanted on your doorstep. If you wanted something back in Rankins Springs, it was a major haul into Griffith to go shopping, and even then you were limited in what you could choose from.
‘You know,’ Olivia started slowly, thinking she might as well test the waters straightaway, ‘I’ve been thinking about a new idea for the farm.’
Her mother looked up at her curiously, so Olivia ploughed on before she lost her nerve. ‘I was talking with Lavinia about her farm-stay accommodation. She was saying how popular it’s been, and the more I thought about it the more an idea started to form.’
‘Oh darling, I don’t think your father or your brother would be very keen on that kind of thing. I’ve heard their views on the matter,’ her mother interrupted gently.
‘Oh, I’ve heard Ollie’s take on it,’ Olivia assured her. ‘But that’s not exactly what I had in mind. I’d like to put an educational spin on it. Do you remember Fiona, my friend from uni? She works for a big educational company now, and with a little input from her I think we could establish a really unique farm stay that centres on school groups and focuses on the paddock-to-plate concept as a learning tool. There seems to be a really big need for something like this. Lavinia made me think about it—she had a family stay with them and their kids were blown away by things we take for granted, like where and how we get milk and meat and how grain becomes bread. I think schools would go nuts for something like this.’
‘It all sounds a bit … involved,’ Sue said slowly.
‘It’s not polished yet, just an idea. I thought it might be a good idea to start thinking outside the box about ways to bring in extra income and this might give Dad an outside interest.’
Sue studied her daughter thoughtfully for a few moments before giving a slow nod. ‘You could be right. What your dad will and won’t be able to do in the future is still a big unknown. It might not be a bad idea to start exploring a few different avenues,’ she said, and Olivia smiled. ‘But maybe we won’t mention them to your father just yet,’ she added. ‘He’s having a little bit of trouble adjusting to everything. I don’t want to give him another thing to worry about.’
‘What do you mean, trouble?’
‘Oh, nothing to worry about,’ she dismissed hurriedly. ‘It’s just that I don’t think he’s thought much about what will happen if he doesn’t recover as fully as we’re hoping. At the moment he’s focused on everything returning to normal as soon as he gets home, which is a good thing … in a way. He’s at least motivated … most of the time. But there’s a chance he won’t regain the amount of mobility he had before and that’s going to put limits on what he’s able do. He refuses to consider that possibility at the moment, but if it comes to that, then maybe ideas like yours will be useful.’
Olivia sensed her mother’s concern and understood. It was important for her father to remain positive, but if positivity couldn’t give him a full recovery, he’d need something else to keep him motivated and optimistic. As desperately as she hoped her dad would recover fully, realistically, he wasn’t getting any younger. His injuries could continue to hinder him even after he’d recovered, and he may never be able to do as much physically on the farm as he used to.
A little later, as they drove to the hospital, Olivia noticed how crazy the traffic was compared to Rankins Springs. It was always a shock whenever she returned to the city from a visit to her parents. This time, though, it really frustrated her. Why did people think spending half their time in traffic snarls was an acceptable way to live?
Her father was sitting up in bed reading the newspaper when they walked in, and Olivia had to swallow past a large lump in her throat when he looked up and smiled. He looked thinner, older and a lot more frail than she could recall him ever looking before.
‘Hi, Dad,’ she said.
‘What are you doing back here so soon? Couldn’t handle living with that brother of yours again?’ he asked, hitching one bushy eyebrow at her.
‘I’m pretty sure I can handle Ollie,’ she told him. ‘I heard you were giving the nurses a hard time, though, and I thought I’d better come back and make sure you were behaving yourself.’
‘The nurses are all right,’ he said, dropping his voice slightly, ‘it’s those flamin’ physiotherapists. Bunch of torturers.’
‘I’m sure they’re not trying to hurt you on purpose,’ Sue said, straightening the bedcover briskly.
‘They bloody are! And they smile while they’re doing it.’
‘Oh Bill, stop it. They’re just doing their job.’
‘Mum said you’re doing really well, so hopefully you won’t be in here too much longer,’ Olivia cut in, trying to mollify her father.
His grunt didn’t seem overly reassuring. ‘Tell me what’s going on back at home,’ he said, waving off the other talk and getting down to business. ‘Your mother won’t let me talk to your brother.’
‘That’s not true.’ Sue frowned at her husband. ‘You spoke with him the other day.’
‘Yeah, but not about the farm. Fill me in, what’s he up to?’
‘Well …’ Olivia glanced nervously across at her mother, unsure if she was stepping on any toes, but her mother shrugged and so she sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘He’s been working around the clock, which is why you haven’t been able to talk to him much. He reckons it’s going to be a bumper crop,’ she added brightly, hoping to cheer him.
‘You don’t go countin’ your chickens before they hatch—I tell him that every damn season.’
Alrighty then, he wasn’t in a cheery kind of mood. ‘The weather’s been holding out. No rain, which is good,’ she tried again.
‘Yeah, well, as long as nothing goes wrong to delay it. He better make sure he’s not dillydallyin’.’
‘He’s working really hard, Dad. You should be proud of him.’ Not for the first time, Olivia felt sad for her brother. Her father had never had any trouble telling her how proud he was of her achievements, but not once had she heard him praise Ollie. She knew he was aware of how hard his son worked and the long hours he put in, and yet she’d never heard him tell Ollie he’d done a good job.
‘He’s not doin’ anything more than what every other damn farmer out there’s doin’ every day,’ he said obstinately.
Olivia knew her father was in a great deal of pain still, and that for such an active man to be stuck in bed most of the day had to be incredibly frustrating, but it was still hard to listen to such negativity. They managed to talk about a few other bits and pieces, but soon it was time for his physio session and they left a very unimpressed and crotchety patient to a cheerful woman in her twenties, who ignored Bill’s grumbling and went about readying him for his treatment.
‘Is he always like that?’ Olivia asked her mother as they headed back down the hallway.
‘No, not always,’ her mother sighed. ‘Today was a bad day. He has them every now and then. I’ll come back a bit later this afternoon and he’ll be all right.’
‘Why don’t you stay home and have a break and I’ll come back and sit with him?’ Olivia said gently. It had to be hard on her mother trying to remain optimistic and strong every day. ‘I’d really like to.’
‘Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.’
Olivia went back to the hospital later that afternoon, having made sure her mother was resting.
‘Hi, Dad.’ She kissed his cheek before taking a seat.
‘Where’s your mother?’ he asked, looking behind her and frowning.
‘I told her to have a bit of rest. She’s looking tired.’
She saw his face soften a little. ‘She is. I’ve told her she doesn’t have to come as often as she does, but she won’t listen to me.’
Olivia smiled at that. ‘Nope, she does what she wants.’
‘I wish she’d go home. There’s nothing she can do here. You should make her go back with you.’
Olivia gave a small snort. ‘I’d have to gag her and tie her up to get her on the plane. She wants to be here, Dad.’
‘Yeah, I know. It’s just a bugger, you know?’ he said, looking away. ‘I feel like I’ve let everyone down.’
Olivia fought tears, blinking rapidly to compose herself before she could speak. ‘You haven’t, Dad. You just need to concentrate on getting yourself well again so you can come home. We need you.’
‘Oh, rubbish,’ he said gruffly. ‘Ollie’s got everything under control. He doesn’t need me.’
‘We’ll always need you,’ she said, forcing some steel into her voice. ‘You’re our dad. But while we’re on the subject, you need to tell Ollie that he’s doing a good job. You need to tell him what you just told me.’
‘He knows,’ Bill said, staring down at the bedspread.
‘How could he know? You’ve never told him.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t have let him practically run the place if I didn’t think he could do the job, would I?’
‘That’s not the same thing as telling him you’re proud of him, and you know it,’ she said firmly. ‘You don’t have to make a big production of it,’ she said dryly and a grin tugged the corners of her mouth at his sarcastic grunt. ‘Just say thanks. And good work. Don’t go overboard—we don’t want to alarm him,’ she added blandly and was relieved when he managed a slight chuckle.
‘Yeah, well … maybe I have been a bit hard on him over the years, but it’s how my father raised me. You can’t mollycoddle your kids if you want them to grow up tough and independent. Respect, hard work and manners, that’s what kids need.’
‘And a “Thank you, you’re doing a good job” every now and then,’ Olivia added.
‘Yeah, all right, I hear ya. So is that why you came all the way down here? To give your old man a lecture?’
‘It wasn’t the only reason,’ she said with a cocked eyebrow. ‘I also came because even though you’re a grumpy old bugger, I love you and I wanted to see you.’
She smiled at the gruff but clearly chuffed expression that spread across her father’s face. He’d always been a tough but fair man, whom everyone respected. This bad temper was out of character for him, but understandable considering the amount of pain he was in. An accident like this would be enough to shake up even the most placid of people and, added to that, the uncertainty of the future—a degree of grumpiness wasn’t unexpected.
She stayed while he ate his dinner, but he was tired after his long rehab session and nodding off as they watched telly together, so she kissed him goodbye and promised to come back in the morning.
There was a message on her phone from her mother saying Aunty Kay had talked her into going to a musical. She decided there was no point in heading home to an empty apartment so she called Hadley instead.
Olivia loved Hadley’s home in Coogee. It was sleek and stylish and looked as though it belonged in some glossy home magazine. The white tiles of the entrance gleamed underfoot and the floor-to-ceiling window in the lounge room opened out onto a magnificent view of the ocean.
But Olivia wasn’t looking at the beach, she was focused on her best friend. As soon as Hadley opened the door, Olivia’s smile slipped. The usually vibrant, bouncy woman she’d been expecting was nowhere to be found. Instead Hadley burst into tears.
Olivia settled her friend onto the lounge and sat down on a stool at her feet. She took Hadley’s hands gently. ‘Tell me,’ she said simply.
Hadley slowly shook her head as more tears fell, and Olivia reached across to grab a box of nearby tissues. ‘I don’t know why I’m crying,’ Hadley said, dabbing at her eyes.
‘What happened?’
For a long while Olivia thought she wasn’t going to answer, but when she did it was in a flat tone. ‘I had a miscarriage.’
‘Oh, Hads,’ Olivia said softly. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She gave a quick shake of her head. ‘I don’t understand why I’m so upset … I mean, I’d barely even found out I was pregnant … it wasn’t as though I—’ Her voice caught on a sob and Olivia slid onto the lounge beside her and hugged her tightly, letting her cry until she’d composed herself enough to pull away and blow her nose.
‘How long had you known?’ Olivia asked gently after she’d returned from the kitchen with two glasses of wine.
‘Only a couple of weeks. Just before I left to go on this last assignment.’
‘Where’s Mitch?’ Olivia had been too distracted to ask before.
‘Syria.’
‘Does he know?’
‘No. I hadn’t told him I was pregnant. It’s been like a game of tag lately. I’m leaving when he gets back or vice versa.’
‘But you are going to tell him, aren’t you?’ she asked, looking at her friend warily.
‘There’s not much point now, is there?’
Olivia looked at her friend, shocked. ‘You just lost a baby. You have to tell him.’ She felt instantly remorseful when she saw a fresh well of tears starting to form. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s none of my business. You do whatever you think is right.’
‘We weren’t even ready to have kids yet,’ she sniffed. ‘It’s not like he can do anything now anyway. He’s on the other side of the world.’
Not for the first time, Olivia wondered what her friend actually saw in Mitch Samuals. Admittedly, the guy had no clue his new wife was going through this alone, but somehow she wondered if he would have dropped everything to come home if he did. The story was always bigger than anything else, and Hadley was just as bad, Olivia reminded herself. There’d been many a time Hadley had abandoned plans to chase a story—including her own wedding the first time they’d set a date. She wasn’t exactly sure why they wanted to get married in the first place when it seemed so much of an inconvenience to them.
‘How’s your dad? I could only drop by for a quick visit the other day, and then all this happened …’ She let the sentence drift off.
‘He’s doing okay. I had a good visit with him tonight. Mum’s out seeing a show, which I never thought would happen.’
‘That’s good. How’re things back home?’
‘Busy. You know how it goes.’ A short silence followed and Olivia bit the inside of her cheek before asking, ‘Are you going to tell your mum?’
‘I don’t know. Not yet. She’ll only go overboard and want to fly down and stay with me.’
‘That’s not such a bad thing, you know.’
‘I’m fine. I just want to put it behind me.’
Olivia knew there was no point trying to argue with Hadley—she was a Callahan and as stubborn as they came.
‘I’m here whenever you need me, okay?’
‘I know,’ she said, hugging Olivia tightly. ‘I’ll always need you. You’re my best friend.’
Olivia decided she would stay the night, not wanting to leave Hadley alone, so she cooked them up an omelette for a late dinner, ordered Hadley to go and wash her hair and get changed into some clean pyjamas, and then tucked her into bed.
‘You’re going to make an awesome mum one day, Liv,’ Hadley said as she drifted off to sleep.
Olivia blinked back tears of her own as she looked down at her friend, wishing she could do something to make things better, but knowing there was nothing she could do other than to be here for her when she needed to cry.