Olivia frowned as Hadley’s phone switched to voicemail without ringing again. She’d given her a day without calling, time to let things settle, but it seemed Hadley wasn’t taking calls. She needed her best friend now more than ever. She’d just done something either uncharacteristically brave or incredibly stupid—she’d resigned from her old job.
Olivia dialled the Callahans’ home number, and after a few rings Lavinia picked up.
‘I’m trying to get hold of Hadley but she isn’t answering,’ Olivia said cautiously, trying to gauge the atmosphere. From Lavinia’s chirpy tone, she suspected the bombshell hadn’t dropped yet.
‘That’s probably because her phone’s turned off during the flight. She wouldn’t be home yet.’
‘Flight?’ Olivia found herself echoing dumbly.
‘She flew home this morning. As usual, a big story came up,’ Lavinia said in a weary tone. ‘She didn’t tell you?’
‘Oh. Was that today? I thought she meant … tomorrow,’ Olivia said vaguely, trying not to feel hurt that her best friend had left without a goodbye.
‘I don’t know what to do with that child of mine,’ Lavinia said mildly. ‘One of these days she’s going to settle down and stop all this running around.’
Personally, Olivia thought that current circumstances might make her do a lot more running. They said their goodbyes and Olivia tried to find something constructive to do. Earlier that morning the Callahans’ second header had come over and started on their last paddock. It would take a load off Ollie’s shoulders, but it left her with nothing particular to do out there. Even the bookwork was up to date. Maybe it was a sign. If she wasn’t needed here any more, then she really had no excuse not to take the job offer.
Was she needed? Her thoughts turned to Griff. She knew he wanted her to stay, but could she give up this chance and be okay with that decision?
You love him.
She did. She always had, but something told her that if she didn’t take this chance, she’d always regret it. She’d be left wondering what if. Could she live with that? Besides, Hadley had thought she loved Mitch too, and look where that had got her. What if she pinned all her hopes on a relationship with Griff and it didn’t work out?
Griffin parked outside the Dawson house and let out a long, slow breath. He’d just got back from driving his sister to the airport and he wasn’t sure how he was feeling.
He needed about a week’s worth of solid sleep, a decent shower … and Olivia. He needed her to make everything feel as though it could be all right eventually. If she was beside him, he could cope with all this mess. Wearily, he pushed open the door and climbed out of the car.
The house was lit up and he could hear music playing inside as he approached the back door. He spotted Olivia on a sun lounge beside the pool. The pool area, paved and landscaped, looked like something out of a luxury resort. Blue lights at the bottom of the pool lit up the water, casting an almost eerie glow across the surface. He had to hand it to the Dawsons—it may have been considered a little over the top to sink so much money into something as extravagant as this, but they’d turned it into an entertainer’s delight. He smiled as he thought about all the parties they’d attended here over the years.
Olivia had her eyes closed, but her foot rocked back and forth in time with the Dixie Chicks playing on the stereo. He grinned at the image she presented in her cut-off denim shorts and a white T-shirt, bare feet and a wineglass in hand.
He hated disturbing her as she looked so relaxed, but he’d missed her and the last couple of days had been so bloody messy that all he wanted to do was hold her and feel her soft curves against his skin.
He eased down beside the lounge and leaned in. Something must have alerted her to his presence because she opened her eyes and the next minute he felt a burning, throbbing pain as her forehead smashed against his face, making him see stars.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ he heard her yell.
As the pain began to subside, he opened one eye, his hand still clutching the bridge of his nose tightly. ‘I wanted to surprise you,’ he said tightly.
‘You almost gave me a heart attack.’
‘Yeah, well … I’m pretty sure you managed to actually give me a broken nose,’ he muttered. Son of a bitch, it hurt.
‘Give me a look,’ she finally said with more than a little irritation, brushing his hand away. ‘It’s not broken,’ she told him in a tone he was fairly sure did not give him the sympathy he deserved. ‘It’s barely even bleeding.’
‘Bleeding?’ No wonder it bloody hurt.
‘What on earth possessed you to sneak up on me like that?’
‘You looked really peaceful,’ he muttered, gingerly moving his nose from side to side to test it.
‘So naturally you thought you’d scare the crap out of me. Great plan.’
‘Jesus, Liv. I’m sorry, okay. This was a mistake, I should have just stayed away.’ He turned around—it had been a crappy day and now it was turning into an even crappier evening.
‘Wait,’ she said, and he stopped but didn’t face her. He was so damn tired. He heard her let out a long breath and knew she was feeling as miserable as he was. ‘We need to talk.’
Suddenly he wasn’t so sure he’d read her right after all. Maybe she hadn’t missed him. He slowly turned to face her. ‘Yeah, we do.’ He waited as she led them towards the outdoor table and took a seat.
He didn’t like the way she was avoiding looking at him.
‘I’ve decided to leave my old job,’ she said, tracing patterns on the glass tabletop idly.
A rush of relief instantly filled him. ‘That’s great,’ he started, but stopped when she looked up quickly at him, the expression on her face anything but encouraging.
‘I’ve been offered a job in London.’
‘What?’ That didn’t even make sense. They’d been throwing around ideas about her job for a few weeks now and all of them had centred around her doing some kind of consultancy work … from here.
‘I wasn’t expecting it. They have an urgent position that needs filling. It’s the offer of a lifetime, Griff. I’m not sure I can turn it down.’
‘You could,’ he said bluntly, ‘if you believed we had a shot at a future together.’
She shook her head slowly and he closed his eyes as though blocking the truth staring him in the face. He’d lost her … again.
‘It’s just …’ she started speaking and his eyes shot open to see her tipping her head back to look at the darkened sky in frustration. ‘If I don’t take this job, I’ll regret it. This is what I’ve been wanting—a change, a chance to travel and explore and … live,’ she emphasised.
‘So this thing with us isn’t living? What is it then, Liv? Passing time?’
She shook her head quickly. ‘No, it’s more than that.’
‘Then I don’t understand. Why aren’t you turning this job down?’
‘Because if I don’t take this, I’m going to always be wondering what would have happened if I’d gone.’
‘As opposed to wondering what would have happened if you’d stayed?’ He couldn’t help sounding bitter—he saw that she was hurting, but he didn’t care. This was bullshit. He was once again left without a say in something that affected his future and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
‘I never stood in the way of you following your dream,’ she said quietly.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You left to go to ag college, remember?’
‘And then you broke up with me.’
‘Because you were thinking about leaving to come home because you were homesick and you missed me. I couldn’t let you throw away all that to come home just to be with me.’
‘That’s why you broke up with me?’ He stared at her, feeling shaken.
‘I couldn’t be the one to stand in your way; you’d have regretted it eventually.’
‘You don’t know that,’ he said, feeling gutted.
‘Yes, I do. There’s nothing worse than wondering what if.’
‘That part I know,’ he said harshly. ‘I spent a lot of time wondering what if back then … what if you hadn’t broken up with me, what if we’d stayed together. Where would we be now? Don’t tell me about what ifs.’
‘I didn’t plan any of this, Griff,’ she said sadly. ‘If I’d thought there was any chance I’d get a job like this, I would never have started anything with you again … I couldn’t hurt you like that on purpose.’
‘So you’ve made up your mind?’
‘I don’t know … I’m not sure I can say no to it,’ she said softly, and he couldn’t stand there and listen to her voice catch as she tried not to cry. Inside he was breaking apart, crumbling like a ruin. He’d seriously thought they’d figure out how to make this work.
‘I can’t do this right now,’ he said, turning away.
He didn’t look back and he didn’t stop until he’d reached the car. He couldn’t even bear to look back in the mirror as he drove away. She’d made up her mind and there was nothing he could do to change it. He was about to lose her again.