Thirty

Olivia parked the ute and threaded her fingers through the eight plastic shopping bags, lugging them out of the vehicle with a small grunt as she took their weight and closed the door with her hip. She didn’t care if it killed her, she was not making more than one trip to carry the groceries inside.

Staggering through the back door, she dropped them to the floor with a grateful sigh. As she straightened and shook the blood flow back into her fingers, her mother poked her head into the kitchen.

‘Can you come into the office for a moment, darling?’

‘I’ll just put away the cold things,’ she said, wondering why she was being summoned, and hoping there hadn’t been a disaster that would set back the opening. It was only a few more weeks until they could welcome their first booked guests. She hurried through the unpacking and made her way down the hallway into the office.

She stopped in the doorway, surprised to see Griff in the office with her parents.

‘Hi,’ she said, eyeing him curiously.

‘Darling, we need to have a chat. It’s about that London job you were offered,’ Sue said calmly, but in the same tone Olivia remembered from childhood when she’d covered for Ollie and been caught out and was getting the We expected more of you lecture.

Her gaze immediately flew to Griffin’s and she saw his jaw tighten, but he held her accusing glare.

‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ her mother asked with a shake of her head.

‘It wasn’t important.’

‘It was important. Do you think either your father or I would have asked you to oversee all this if we’d known?’

‘That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you,’ Olivia said dryly.

‘Well, you should have,’ Sue said, crossing her arms and eyeing her daughter sternly.

‘It doesn’t matter now. It was months ago. I’m here and we’ve got the business up and running.’

‘That means there’s nothing stopping you from accepting now,’ her father said gruffly.

‘It’s too late,’ she said with as flippant a tone as she could muster. It was way too late; it had been a once-in-a-lifetime-had-to-be-in-the-right-place-at-the-right-time kind of offer. She swallowed over the tiniest bit of resentment. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but her own, and she had no reason to be upset with anyone in this room, but her eyes fell on Griff, who was looking far too attractive for a double-crossing dobber. What the hell had he been thinking, telling on her like a primary school tittle-tattle?

‘Well, that’s the thing.’ Mr Dibber-Dobber himself spoke up now, leaning forward to hit a button on the computer, before leaning back as the sound of an incoming Skype call echoed around the room. Before she could open her mouth to ask what was going on, Marco popped up on the screen and she found herself gaping like a sideshow-alley clown, as she looked around at the faces in the room and wondered what the hell was going on.

‘Great to see you again, Olivia,’ Marco said, and Griff tugged her arm to bring her closer to the desk. Gingerly, she took a seat in front of the screen and tried to get her scrambled thoughts back into alignment.

‘Good to see you again too,’ she managed to croak.

‘I had an interesting chat with your family earlier today and they explained what’s been going on. It sounds like you’ve been busy.’

‘It’s been a lot of hard work.’ This was very weird.

‘Griffin and your parents have been telling me about the business. I’m impressed. Shows you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for in our company. But I won’t hold you up any longer than necessary: the London job is still yours if you want it, Olivia. We’ve had a relieving position in there, but it hasn’t worked out.’

Olivia knew she needed to say something but for the life of her she couldn’t manage a single word. ‘I don’t think I can,’ she finally stammered, struggling to process what was happening. The London job was still open?

‘Yes, you can,’ her mother said firmly. ‘Your father and I will manage just fine from here on in, and Griffin said he’ll lend a hand if we need it.’

Olivia looked across at Griff, standing arms folded, legs braced as he nodded to confirm what her mother had just said. ‘You want me to take it?’ she asked sceptically.

‘I do.’

He was being supportive. He was doing exactly what she’d been hoping for, and yet now that he was, it only made her own doubts surface. Which was completely ridiculous, considering she’d only turned the job down because she thought she’d be abandoning everyone, and here they were packing her bags for her.

‘Get out there and see the world while you have the chance,’ her father said in his usual pragmatic way. ‘Life’s short, kid. Make the most of it.’

Olivia blinked back tears, surprised by the sudden emotion.

‘I’ll give you some time to think it over,’ Marco cut in from the background. Olivia had momentarily forgotten he was still there.

‘She doesn’t need more time,’ her father informed him matter-of-factly. ‘She’ll take it.’

‘Olivia?’ Marco asked with an amused expression. This was clearly the first time he’d conducted a job interview quite like this one.

Olivia found herself giving a jerky nod, before finding her voice. ‘Yes. I’d like the job.’

She vaguely heard Marco rattling off something about getting the paperwork underway and that he’d be back in touch soon, before his camera turned off and the screen went dark.

Her mother hugged her quickly before pulling back, holding her arms to look at her intently. ‘You made the right decision. You should be taking any opportunity that comes your way. That’s how we raised you,’ she reminded her sternly. ‘We love that you sacrificed all that for us, but we would never have wanted you to give up something so important.’ She smiled gently before turning away and following her husband out of the room, leaving Griff and Olivia alone.

‘I know you hate surprises,’ Griff started, ‘but you’re too stubborn to negotiate with.’

‘So ambushing me was the obvious choice?’

‘If that’s what it takes.’

‘You had no right to tell them.’

‘I had to, Liv. You’re miserable here.’

‘I’d have got over it,’ she said tightly as a combination of emotions battled inside her—anger, betrayal, fear and excitement, all completely overwhelming.

‘We did it for you, Liv. We all love you and want to see you happy again.’

‘I am happy.’

‘I don’t think you are. I think deep down you resent us a little bit—all of us.’

She didn’t want that to be true, but she was ashamed to realise he might actually be right. ‘You wanted me to move in with you!’ she said, feeling helpless.

‘Yeah, I did. But I don’t want you choosing me as some second-best option. That’s no way to start a life together. If I’m not your first choice, then I’d rather be no choice at all.’

‘So you’re breaking up with me?’ she gaped at him, her stomach dropping. God, this was so hard.

‘I’m not breaking up with you. I’m letting you go.’

‘There’s a difference?’ she asked and felt hot tears begin to well in her eyes.

‘I’m not going anywhere, Liv,’ he said, reaching out to wipe away the tears, ‘but you need to.’

He was releasing her from all responsibility and she had been given everyone’s blessing to go. So why did she feel this reluctance?

Griff stepped closer and tilted her chin up slightly. ‘It’ll be okay,’ he said softly.

She wanted to believe him, but as she searched his eyes she wasn’t so sure.

‘I’ve got to get back. I’ll see you later,’ he said, gently kissing her lips before turning and walking out of the room.

Olivia sank into the chair and stared at the black screen. London. Was she really going to do this? Slowly a small, hesitant bubble of excitement raised its head. Could she do this? Apparently, she could. A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she thought back to the crazy intervention her family had just staged. Marco must think they were all mad. Olivia straightened in her seat and rolled her tight shoulders. She could do this. They were right—she had to. But as she listened to the sounds of farm life going on outside the window and heard the clatter and clink of her mother pottering about in the kitchen, a small trickle of tears made a path down her face. She wiped at them with her fingertips and took a deep shaky breath. It was harder than she’d expected to follow your dreams when you had to leave a part of yourself behind in order to do it.

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‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing?’ Ollie asked as they unloaded her bags from the back of his ute at the airport.

‘Please don’t do this,’ she said sadly. While everyone else was determined to put on a happy face, Ollie, true to form, refused to cover up his disapproval.

‘I just don’t think you’ve thought this through.’

‘Sometimes opportunities come up and you just have to grab them,’ she parroted. It was the same phrase she’d been using for the last three weeks. She was weary. Heartbroken and bone-tired. This decision had been one of the toughest she’d had to make and her heart was heavy when it should be leaping with excitement. Maybe at some point she’d allow herself to feel the joy, but right now all she felt was miserable. It didn’t help at all that she knew deep down that she had to do this. If she let this opportunity pass, she’d always have regrets and maybe this would be the unspoken bone of contention that could possibly come back one day to bite Griff an her. It was hard, and painful, but she was trying her best to think of it not as a break-up, but just as a pause. Somehow, though, that didn’t ease her sadness.

‘The timing is never going to be right—there’s always going to be something that potentially gets in the way.’ Olivia let out a long sigh. ‘What if I’m destined to do more with my life and I’ve just been too scared to try? Maybe this is the push I needed. Look at Hadley. She took her chance and ran with it. I’ve always been too afraid.’

‘You’re not Hadley, Liv. You’re you. You have to stop trying to be someone you’re not.’

‘I’m not trying to be Hadley.’ She tried for a calmer tone. ‘I’m just pointing out that maybe it’s time I took a chance and tried something new.’

‘Speaking of Hadley, have you two sorted things out?’

‘There’s nothing to sort out. Hadley’s dealing with things in her own way as usual and has shut out everyone, including me because I was the one who brought it to her attention that her husband was cheating on her. Which is completely unfair and the reason I didn’t want to tell her in the first place,’ she said pointedly.

‘You had to tell her, Liv.’

Liv sighed and closed her eyes briefly. ‘I know, but Griff forced my hand, something he seems to be doing a lot of lately,’ she added dryly. ‘I wanted to do it when the time was right.’

‘There was never going to be a right time.’

‘No,’ she said, looking at her brother, ‘and it’s the same with this job.’

Ollie didn’t say any more, only shook his head as though frustrated. As she hugged her brother goodbye, she realised this would be the last time they saw each other in who knew how long. She brushed away tears and tried to force a smile. ‘I’ll call before I leave. I’ve still got a few things to sort out in Sydney.’ Her father had a check-up appointment at the hospital in a couple of days and he and her mum would see her off at the international airport once she’d finalised her plans.

Ollie gave a nod and returned her smile but, like hers, it didn’t quite manage to cover the regret and lingering sadness underneath. As they waited for the announcement that her flight was boarding, Olivia found herself looking up each time the glass doors slid open, and told herself it wasn’t disappointment she was feeling when none of the people walking in were Griffin. She didn’t expect him to come and, if she were being completely honest, it was better this way. She wasn’t sure she could cope with an emotional scene right now. Saying goodbye to Ollie was hard enough.

She stared down at the tapestry of patchwork-coloured paddocks below as the plane gradually left the Riverina districts behind. This was the right decision—everything might be topsy-turvy at the moment, but it would all calm down. Things would fall back into place. She had to believe that.

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Griffin stared into the flames of the campfire without seeing them. On first glance he might have looked like a guy enjoying the outdoors, but a closer look would have revealed the torment that seemed to hover over him like a rain cloud.

He hadn’t gone to the airport to see her off. He’d intended to. He’d even got halfway there, but then the finality of it all had hit him square in the chest and he’d pulled up on the side of the road, feeling as though someone were ripping his heart out. He’d turned the car around and headed for home. He’d grabbed his swag, thrown some food and beer in an esky and headed out to camp and drown his sorrows.

He’d texted his parents to tell them where he was, then he’d turned off his phone. He knew Ollie would be trying to call him, but he couldn’t deal with people right now—not even his best mate.

You got no one to blame for your situation but yourself, his drunk self reminded him unhelpfully. True, it was his fault. He’d told Sue and Bill about her job offer and how she’d been about to take it before they came home. He’d been genuinely worried about her and it seemed he hadn’t been the only one. Her family had known something wasn’t right. He’d expected her to be angry with him, and he guessed she had every right to be, but he also suspected she was relieved that the decision had been taken out of her hands.

He tipped his head back and looked up at the blanket of stars spread across the sky. There was nothing like looking out into the galaxy to put things in perspective. He was just a tiny speck in an infinite picture. Yet having Liv by his side had made him feel bigger somehow. Now that she was gone he felt the weight of that smallness pressing down on him. A few weeks ago he’d been happier than he’d been in a long time, but Olivia had been miserable.

He had no idea what his future would hold now. He looked back down at the fire. The yellow flames licked at the pieces of wood he’d thrown on earlier, the crackling, popping noises filling the stillness of the night around him. He’d sent Liv out to live her life and somehow he had to learn to do the same.