Griffin turned the shower off and rested his head against the tiles wearily. He’d just finished the last of the wheat harvest and it had been a long-arsed day. His old man had been happy with the yield and had even gone so far as to say Griff had done a good job. He was pretty sure he was still in shock over that one—at any other time he would probably have thought it was a sign the world was about to end, but not today. The world wasn’t going to end—it was going to go on and on forever, as though stuck on repeat.
He knew he was feeling sorry for himself, and he tried his best to keep it from everyone else. Once he got home, though, he figured he could be any damn way he wanted to be and so he let himself wallow in pity until even he couldn’t stand himself any more. When was it going to get better?
Olivia had left a gaping hole in his life and it touched everything. He couldn’t go into the pub without picturing her at a table, chatting to locals. He couldn’t sleep in his bed at night without smelling her scent. He’d close his eyes and imagine her beside him, only to open them and feel the punch to his gut when he realised she wasn’t there. He couldn’t even talk to Ollie without thinking of her, and over the last few months he’d become a recluse, so much so that his friends and family were concerned. He knew they were only trying to help, but he couldn’t stand their relentless attempts to cheer him up and take his mind off Olivia. It was slowly sending him crazy.
Dragging himself out of the shower, Griff pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, before heading to the kitchen to see what his mother had left him for dinner. The sound of tyres on gravel made him straighten from the open fridge. He headed to the front door just as a soft knock sounded. He swore, if this was Ashley from the pub on another mercy visit, he’d lose his shit. He opened the door with more force than was warranted and found himself glaring down at a startled face. But it wasn’t Ashley. It was Olivia.
Okay, so he’d obviously moved on to hallucinating.
‘Hello, Griff.’
It sounded like Olivia: that soft, gentle voice that could go from princess to vixen in the blink of an eye.
‘I, um, know I should have called first,’ she was saying and he noticed that she was twisting her fingers together.
‘Olivia?’ Of course it was her. ‘What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in London.’
‘I was. I came back.’
‘For how long?’
‘My contract gave me three months to see if I was working out okay and then a flight home to pack up my stuff to take back to London.’
His stomach dropped to his feet. ‘Oh. Right. Wow, three months. That went fast.’ He was lying—it had felt like three years since she’d left, but he’d be buggered if he was going to admit that aloud.
‘Really? I thought it felt like forever.’
He glanced up at her tone and frowned.
‘I was angry at you for pushing me to leave the way you did … but the truth is, I’m not sure I would have been brave enough to make the decision on my own.’ She lowered her head and Griff felt bad.
He may be heartbroken, but he hated seeing her miserable too. ‘You would have. Maybe not now, but you’d decided to go before your parents came back, so you would have gone one day,’ he said after a few moments.
His breath got stuck in his chest as she looked up at him. He saw the first tear tumble from her eyelash onto her cheek and automatically his arms went around her.
‘I’m so sorry I hurt you, Griff. I didn’t want to.’
‘I know,’ he said, resting his chin on top of her head. Christ, she still smelled the same—a mix of vanilla and citrus that instantly sent a ping of longing for times when everything had been right in his life. He’d missed her so damn much and wished countless times he could hold her again, but now that she was here, in his arms, he realised that the pain of having to let her go again would outweigh this joy.
She eased back and looked up at him and he had to fight to keep the devastation from showing on his face.
‘You were right, I needed to go,’ she said, and he felt the burn of threatening tears. ‘But I’ve decided not to stay on. I’ve applied for a different job, more in line with the original one, where I can work from pretty much anywhere.’
For a long moment he could only stare at her, his chest frozen, feeling like he’d been thumped in the solar plexus.
‘I’m not going back … I’m home … for good,’ she said, making sure he’d heard her.
Still he could only blink at her. He was fairly sure she was speaking English, but for the life of him he couldn’t get his head around the words. ‘What?’
‘I don’t expect us to go back to where we left off—I get that my leaving really hurt you,’ she rushed on. ‘Although in my defence, I had turned the job down before you and my parents ambushed me—’
‘Liv,’ he said, cutting her off, her words starting to sink in now, ‘it was an amazing opportunity, and I would have felt guilty if I’d let you turn it down to stay here with me. I do understand.’
‘You do?’
‘I may be just a farmer, but I’m not completely stupid. I don’t hold it against you that you took an amazing opportunity.’
‘You’re not just a farmer, Griff. You’re so much more than that, and I have never thought of what you do as any less important than what I do.’
‘Yeah, well, you know … wait. What? Go back a bit. Did you say you weren’t going back?’
A small smile tugged at her mouth and he was momentarily distracted by how badly he wanted to kiss her. ‘I’m not going back.’
‘Why?’
She gave a small grimace. ‘Lots of reasons. In the end I realised that the idea of something completely new and different was more exciting than the reality.’ She took a step away and leaned against the railing. ‘I’m proud of myself for trying, but I know now that it’s not what I want. I missed my family. I missed you,’ she said, looking up at him. ‘I know everyone must get homesick, but it was more than that, I just didn’t feel … like I was where I belonged.’
‘So where do you feel like you belong?’ he asked softly.
He saw her eyes darken as they fastened on him steadily.
‘With you.’
The words floated to his ears and he closed his eyes briefly as he savoured the sweet sound, before opening them again and looking at her.
‘You have every right not to trust me. I know I must seem like a flight risk after all this, but I’ve learned a few things about myself from this experience, and for the first time in a long time I’m sure of myself. I’m happy with who I am and I’m ready to face my future without any lingering regrets or doubts.’
His mind was spinning. She wasn’t going back to London. It still didn’t seem real.
‘I know this is a lot to dump on you, but if there’s any chance we could try again, I’m willing to stay. Here, I mean.’
His heart was already reaching out and screaming yes, but his head was playing this a lot more cautiously. His silence slowly stole her optimism and she nodded silently.
‘I’m going to be home for a few days with Mum and Dad. I need to make a decision about where to base myself. I can work from anywhere with this new job, and fly back to the city for anything important, but if there’s no reason for me to stay, I’ll head back to Sydney,’ she said, taking a deep breath before rushing on. ‘It’s not an ultimatum. I just want you to think about it.’
Griffin swallowed hard over the lump that had formed in his throat and managed a nod.
Maybe on paper her track record of breaking his heart didn’t look very good, but the first time she’d broken up with him to make sure he stuck out ag college. Without it he could have still farmed, but he wouldn’t have had the knowledge to make sure the farm worked as a business. She’d done that for him. And leaving this time? Too right it had hurt to watch her walk away, but he’d pushed her towards it, given her his bloody blessing for Christ’s sake … He’d repaid the favour by allowing her a shot at her dream.
She chose to come back. The thought spun around in his head. She was choosing him. The sound of a car door opening snapped him back to the present and he found himself taking the front steps of his house two at a time and racing down the path.
‘Liv, wait,’ he called and saw her pause and look back at him cautiously. ‘Don’t go,’ he said, feeling breathless and knowing it had nothing to do with the run to her car and everything to do with the fact he was making the biggest decision of his life.
‘I told Mum I’d be back for dinner,’ she started.
‘No, I mean, don’t go back to Sydney.’
Her face softened and instantly he saw tears welling in her eyes.
‘I won’t lie, it almost killed me to watch you leave, and I honestly didn’t think I’d see you again.’
‘I know we left things a little … unfinished. I don’t know if we can pick up where we left off, but if you can forgive me for doing this to us, I’d really like to try again.’
‘There’s nothing to forgive, Liv. You did what you had to do.’
‘Does that mean you want to start again?’
‘No,’ he said, holding her gaze and seeing her optimism fade. ‘I don’t need to start over. I never stopped loving you.’ A wave of relief washed over her face and he felt his lips twist a little as he stepped closer.
‘Me neither,’ she said with a flash of a sad smile. ‘I’m sorry I put us through all this only to work out it wasn’t what I wanted after all.’
‘We never did have the whole timing thing down pat.’
‘I think we will from now on.’
His arms slipped around her waist and her body fitted perfectly against his own, like that one final piece of a jigsaw puzzle locking into place to complete the picture. Griff let out a long breath and closed his eyes, breathing her in. She was home.