As someone who writes regularly about pickup, I notice two objections to game that come up frequently from readers and friends. Let’s consider these in detail.
1. “Game pumps girls’ egos and inflates the price of pussy”
On reading an article that advises approaching women frequently to get good or to maximize your chances of success with game, some men will argue that doing so is counterproductive. Women’s egos are sky-high with constant Facebook and Instagram likes, Tinder matches, and so on. This is why they frequently complain and feel they are entitled. Approaching ad nauseam simply increases their entitlement, worsening their attitude, and consequently making it harder for other guys to get laid.
If we stopped feeding girls’ egos through game, the argument goes, they would be less in love with themselves, and some balance would be restored in a sexual marketplace that is currently spiralling out of control.
It is slightly odd how in a community where many men would suckle on the withered teat of Ayn Rand herself so enthused are they about “every man for himself” principles of self-determination in business that when it comes to women, a much more egalitarian, socialist ideal is insisted upon. “Men shouldn’t disadvantage one another,” we are told. “Don’t stroke girls’ egos unnecessarily and make it more difficult for everyone else.”
I am certainly not one for sabotaging other men’s efforts—quite the contrary—but to me this is baloney.
For one thing, hot girls are validated constantly from their teenage years until at least their late twenties anyway. Imagine for a second being a sexy twenty-three-year-old walking down a subway platform, all those eyes flicking in your direction, heads turning, smiles. Yes, social media may have exacerbated the phenomenon, but I remember the days before Facebook, and believe me, cute girls still thought they were the greatest thing on earth.
Most men are unable to help giving out some sign of their attraction, even if only on a subliminal level, and girls are highly attuned to picking up on the smallest physical and social cues. Trust me—letting her know that you’re attracted to her by approaching is a drop in the ocean.
Even if it did make a difference, how many men are out in the field actively taking such action? It’s a shockingly small proportion. I think Krauser estimates that only 5 percent of men who come into contact with game material do anything about it, and even fewer practice consistently.
In London where I live, you can observe the hardcore daygamers out in force on Oxford Street doing “Yad stops” (Google it) and whatever else, but in other districts women hardly ever get approached. I have long told people that the tube is a goldmine for pickup, and it is—I’ve gotten so many lays from public transport that I’d find it hard to recount them all—but as few have the courage to chat to girls, there it’s almost an open goal. Far from pumping women’s egos to preposterous levels, serious practitioners of game are in an extreme minority.
More important, though, is your mental attitude. If you want anything in life, you have to fight for it. I believe in sexual entrepreneurialism. I have no interest in curtailing opportunities for other men, but at the same time if I want something, I’m going to go for it. That is a mind-set that you should develop too.
Of course, game forums provide a community where men can support one another, but every man must eventually carve out his own destiny, which means stepping up to the plate and pursuing your desires, be they business orientated, artistic, or sexual. People who complain about this are the same people who sit around complaining about men with rich parents having a better start in life rather than working hard and making something of themselves.
If you go out and approach girls regularly, you are not “inflating” the price of sexual access. You are simply creating opportunities for yourself in the market.
2. “Learning game is a waste of time. You’re better off developing yourself as a man so that the chicks will come to you.”
Other men argue that rather than wasting God knows how many hours chasing pussy you’re better off doing something more constructive, such as studying or starting a business.
Actually, this is a viewpoint that I understand. As anyone who has read David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man will know, the most important thing a man can do is have a mission in his life that is unconnected with women.
If you genuinely decide that your sole focus (for now) is building that business, writing that symphony, or climbing Kilimanjaro, by all means eschew women. I completely agree that such achievements far outweigh the mere scoring of pussy.
But—and it’s a big but—if you are secretly hoping that by making something of yourself women will flock to you, I’m afraid you have got it all wrong. Unless you become genuinely A-list famous, you will still have to graft like the rest of us, for the hottest girls at least. I have friends who are extremely rich, good looking, and accomplished who, lacking in game, have as much difficulty attracting women as anyone else does.
What getting girls really comes down to is creating attraction and then escalating. This is the same whether you are a barman or a billionaire. If you have spent ten years staring at a laptop screen building a business, you will be little better equipped than the man who lives in his mom’s basement and has severe social issues.
Some men will then advocate dodging the market altogether through a simple strategy: pay for play. Rich, successful guys have always paid for sex the argument goes. Why waste time on the vicissitudes of pussy chasing when you can simply pay for the services of a 10 for $500?
I have no issue with men wishing to use prostitutes either to supplement their normal sexual diet or as their sole outlet if they wish. Men can make their own decisions and do what they want. My only observation would be that sex with a hooker, no matter how attractive, is in most cases qualitatively inferior to sex with a willing, aroused partner. A regular ROK commentator Hernan Cortez had this to say on the subject:
“If paying for sex is not good enough, you simply confirm my previous points. This is not merely about a biological urge to have sex. No you see, in your mindset, its not enough to get sex. This is about wanting female acceptance. And hookers don’t ‘Accept’ you. They just fuck you for money [but] that won’t do.”
If there is a craving for “female acceptance” in wanting to fuck girls who actually like you , I would argue that it is small. Most alphas I have known have got off on the fact that girls are attracted to them, even to the point of boasting about it. And yet they would scoff at the notion that their wider sense of self was in any way validated by a woman.
There is an ego boost inherent in a hot chick wanting you. I would say that this is natural for most men, alphas and betas alike, and it’s something you don’t get with prostitutes (in most cases). Most importantly, though, sex is almost always better with a woman who genuinely wants to be there. While a man may save time on gaming by getting in hired help, the quality of the sex he achieves through this strategy is likely to be inferior.
You should just work on yourself and your game at the same time. By all means, you should improve yourself as a man, but also recognize that pickup doesn’t need to involve seven-hour nightclub stints every evening. An hour after work or on a break and a couple of approaches a day is all you need to improve and start to see results.
Roosh has recommended one approach a day before. Getting into a routine, and sticking to it consistently will lead to an upswing in your performance and results in no time.
Today, game is unavoidable. If you want to get laid with good-looking girls with any regularity, you need at least a working knowledge of it and to have practiced it consistently over time. Stepping up to the plate can be hard, and there are no shortcuts. Luckily, the Internet is now awash with good quality advice and support. A decade or so ago this was not the case, so those learning today are very fortunate.
While some men make interesting and articulate points about the inflation of pussy stock through excessive gaming and the benefits of avoiding the pickup melee entirely in favour of more cerebral pursuits, my suspicion is that they do so to justify their own reluctance to man up and face female rejection head on. If you want a regular and varied sex life, you can’t afford to do the same.