For centuries, women have been thought the more mysterious sex. Poets, philosophers, psychologists, and PUAs have all been driven to distraction trying to work out exactly what it is that makes them tick. The reason such eminent men put in all that effort in the first place is because they wanted to get laid. Here is the bind that unites all men—the frustrating and annoying work of unravelling women’s inscrutability set against our very real and urgent need to sleep with the most attractive of them.
Fortunately, the Internet has facilitated something that few people could ever have foreseen: men being able to share their experiences with women and compare notes on a grand scale. This revolution in gender relations has been quietly—and not so quietly, in some cases—taking place on blogs and websites and in self-published books for more than a decade. The cloak of relative anonymity offered by the ’net has enabled it. Whereas shame previously prevented men from talking openly about their experiences even with close friends, now hundreds of thousands across the world can discuss female behaviour freely.
Striking and somewhat depressing is how similar and predictable a lot of men’s stories are. Before discovering the manosphere, I tended towards self-flagellation, beating myself up thinking that women treated me badly because of some fundamental flaw in my personality. How surprising then to read hundreds of tales that mirrored my own experiences exactly. Girls flaked on other guys, punished them for beta behaviour with infidelity, and walked out on them at the drop of a hat when a better opportunity presented itself too.
It wasn’t just me.
Over a period of months, I slowly hardened my working knowledge of female psychology and put strategies into place to help me better deal with it.
The conversation is ongoing, and new insights are being shared all the time. Here, though, are five things about women that I have discovered through my own experiences as well as by talking to other men. They should be borne in mind, especially if you are considering entering a serious relationship.
1.
All of us have at one stage or another bought into the “Madonna-Whore” notion that there are “bad girls” who will put out indiscriminately and “good girls” who will hold out for the right guy. It’s a meme inculcated into us by the culture. It’s also bollocks. Girls will have sex quickly and easily with guys who give them tingles.
Understand this: Madonnas and Whores are the same girls.
Some of you may be aware of an article written by Tyler Durden of Real Social Dynamics many years ago called “The Secret Society.” If not, you should read it. It contains the kind of wisdom that makes a lot of sense on paper but only becomes real when you go out and game and have sex with a lot of girls.
The basic gist of it is that if you are a guy who “gets it” and sub-communicates that he “gets it,” girls will have sex with you quickly, easily, and without putting up all of the obstacles that lesser men (betas) have to contend with. Not only is it true but it also goes for all girls—not just the ones with tattoos and bleached hair and those transparent stripper heels but also the nice girl in the library with the glasses and the cardigan.
If you present yourself as “r-selected” rather than “k-selected,” that is, as a bad boy player rather than as a provider simp, even the supposedly good girls will drop their knickers for you quickly.
I myself know this to be a fact. Last year I hooked up with the most innocent-looking girl you can imagine. I took her out and was careful to dial up my r-selected traits. Not only did she sleep with me on the first night, but she also continued to do so in secret for months afterwards, even after she began seeing another guy.
This phenomenon does rather explode any fantasy you might have of finding that “one special girl” to fall in love with and protect and honour through thick and thin, although it must be stated that women’s sexuality does not make them bad people, but you do need to open your eyes to the reality of how things actually work.
2.
So you met a cute girl, gamed her good, and now you’re having regular sex. Great! You’re on easy street—no longer having to battle it out going on the flesh rampage in busy clubs and bars, but instead you’re enjoying a regular serving of quality pussy, right?
Wrong.
However casual, free, and easy things may seem at the start, make no mistake about it. Your girl has an agenda. If you pass her tests and she likes you enough to stay with you, she will already be making moves to lock you down. This will often involve such measures as keeping increasing tabs on you, trying to limit the time you spend with your friends, and demanding more and more attention from you.
The endgame of all of this?
Babies.
I’m sorry, but it’s true. While men are happy to coast along enjoying the sex and the good times, women are at the mercy of a pitiless biological clock. She’s not there to “go with the flow” or “just have fun and see where it goes.” She has a very real game plan (consciously or not) that could end up costing you the best years of your life and a lot of money.
She may not even mention having a family or indicate that she is even conscious of what she is doing herself, but the only real purpose of long-term male-female sexual relationships in a woman’s eyes is reproduction—not companionship, not “discovering each other,” not growing old together—but children.
If this isn’t what you’re looking for, you need to make a decision about how and when to leave.
3.
Ironically, though, the more you accede to the demands of her biological imperative, the more she will come to despise you.
She fucked you in the first place because you demonstrated alpha qualities that made her attracted to you. The more you alter yourself to fit in with what she wants by becoming domesticated, the more beta you will appear and the less you will resemble that hot, untameable guy she originally thought you were.
At this point, she is only a heartbeat away from having sex with the window cleaner.
This phenomenon is sometimes called the Betaization process. Fear it because it is real, and it is inescapable unless you are thoroughly prepared and vigilant.
4.
The problem is that as men we are beset with a strange kind of logical dissonance that kicks in when we meet a cute girl. If a man is seeing a 23-year-old and she is an 8 in the looks department, there is a good chance that he will want to try to cash in his chips, departing from the table with his winnings by marrying her.
In many cases, this is a mistake.
We all know too well that that hot 23-year-old isn’t going to be a hot 50-year-old. How many times have we seen the effects of the so-called “wall” (that point somewhere in a woman’s thirties where the fresh bloom of her youthful beauty is extinguished, and she becomes less pleasing to the loins of men).
But we all still want to lock down the 23-year-old.
It doesn’t make any sense.
Women’s youthful beauty is effectively bait that they use to reel men in. This is fine except that a man will often be forced to give of his resources for many, many years after his woman’s looks have declined beyond all recognition.
Perhaps you believe your girl to be so special that you don’t care about what she looks like in ten or twenty years. If that’s genuinely true, then fine, although I have my doubts, as many men will make this kind of pronouncement from a position of scarcity, but at least be aware of this phenomenon of depreciation and think very carefully before getting married too hastily.
5.
You have to realise that she doesn’t really care about you, but she does have an agenda (see point 2). As a man, you are there to help her fulfil it (even though she may end up despising you for doing so). Don’t make the mistake of assuming that she cares about you personally no matter what she says. The true romantics are men. Women are essentially pragmatists akin to a cash-hungry film producer who cares little about the cast list as long as the movie gets made on time.
I don’t mean to state that women have no feelings or are horrible people—quite the contrary. Women can be incredibly nurturing and care very deeply about the men in their lives, but they still have a master plan, and if you don’t fit in with that you will likely find yourself brushed aside in time.
I once had a girlfriend who told me that she would die for me. She was becoming too clingy, though, so in the end we split up. After I told her I couldn’t see her anymore, she sent me messages every day for a month telling me how upset she was, how special I was, how much she wanted me back. In the face of this barrage, I softened. Perhaps she really did love me as she said. Tentatively, I suggested a meeting. Maybe we could talk. After all, here was a girl displaying a characteristic I valued greatly—devotion. Perhaps I had been too hasty.
Her response?
“I can’t see you. I’m with someone else now.”
I had been replaced. Whatever “special” qualities I possessed had quickly and easily been located in another.
For the record, I abhor cynicism, but I also believe that forewarned is forearmed, and that a realistic grasp of female psychology would help many men lead happier lives. By all means go out and enjoy the game, but always be vigilant, and above all make sure that your needs are accounted for as well as hers.