Understand this: really grasping the concept of abundance is fundamental to success with women. When I did so, my results skyrocketed, and that will happen for you too.
The seduction community frequently discusses a condition it calls “oneitus”: in fact, the term has become something of a meme simply because the phenomenon it refers to is so common. Oneitus, put simply, is the myth of “the one”—the belief that one “special girl” is the only person in the universe who can make you complete, and that without her life will be meaningless.
Often, although not exclusively, a man’s “oneitus” will be a girl he is attracted to but has not yet hooked up with for whatever reason. Perhaps she is a colleague at work he hasn’t had the courage to approach, or maybe he has approached her and she has rejected him with the infamous LJBF formula— “let’s just be friends”—a line women use to turn down men so frequently that it has also become a trope in its own right.
This is the most painful place a man can be—in what used to be called unrequited love—terrible, soul-destroying craving for that one special girl. If you find yourself in this position, and indeed if you’ve come to this book to try to get that one special girl to like you, you need to take steps to disengage from those negative feelings and forget about her.
Banish from your memory all those romantic movies you’ve seen where the shy, nerdy but good-hearted guy winds up getting his beautiful long-term crush to go out with him at the end. Real life just isn’t like that. The truth is that girls (like guys) categorize potential romantic and sexual partners very quickly and usually within the first few minutes of meeting. If you are in the wrong camp, i.e., a girl’s “friend” camp, you will find it is very, very difficult to get out again, and in most cases it’s impossible.
Far better to walk away from this girl and move on to a fresh prospect, who (with the help of this book) you will present yourself to differently—as a potential sex partner. Later on, when the first girl has seen that you’ve had success elsewhere and notes your change in demeanour she might—and it’s an outside chance—reconsider, but don’t count on it. Do yourself a favour and move on.
Do not under any circumstances buy into the “friends” frame. Women are happy to spin out these pretend friendships for months or even years, as they receive validation from them for minimal emotional investment, but the truth is that you’re not truly friends. There’s an imbalance. You want something more from her than she is unwilling to provide, and you both know it.
No true friendship can exist on these terms. Don’t feel you owe her anything just because she’s being “nice” to you (on the surface at least). Life is short, and you need to put your own interests first. The frame with which you should approach your male-female interactions should be honest and straightforward: either this leads to sex and a man-to-woman relationship or I walk.
If at this point you are thinking something along the lines of “but she’s special and different and I want to get to know her first before sleeping with her,” or you think it somehow crude to put sex first, you need to take a reality check and realise how things actually work. Sex always comes first and the “relationship” afterwards. It is not even necessary for a girl to especially “like” you for her to sleep with you. Attraction is all that’s required.
If you have come to this book hoping to “convert” a special girl that you’ve asked out once or twice but not gotten any traction with her, you need to rip the Band-Aid off and move on. Here’s a six-step guide on how to do so: