Regular readers of my writing will be aware that I subscribe to Roosh V’s formulation for making one solid approach to a girl I have never met before. As Roosh states, approaching once a day is a “keystone” habit that will inevitably lead to benefits beyond just sex.
What I want to explore here, though, is exactly which girl it is you should be approaching. If you only have one bullet in the gun, so to speak, it makes sense to ensure that it’s not wasted. On that basis, my recommendation is that the girl you should approach today is the one who tugs on your DNA most strongly.
If you have read any game writing at all, you will be aware that the concept of “that one special girl” is an anathema to seasoned players and a mind-set that you must avoid at all costs. When we speak of “special girls,” we usually mean those females who men have put on a pedestal and coveted for a long time, ending up in the dreaded friend zone along the way.
To absolutely clear, I’m not advocating that you approach that girl who works in the marketing department at your office every day. That would be weird and very probably illegal. This is about cold approaching new girls you’ve never met before.
I am not in any way implying that these DNA-tugging girls are any more “special” objectively than any other girl. All of us are human, all of us are flawed. A girl is just a girl, and we shouldn’t fall into bad habits of thinking otherwise.
Here’s how it is for me. I live in London, a huge sprawling city filled with a multitude of girls in their peak years (20s to early 30s) studying, working, acting, dancing, blagging their way into nightclubs, posting selfies onto Instagram, and doing everything else girls in that demographic do.
Every day I walk to my nearest subway station and take three trains to the central district where my office is located. During that journey (and the equivalent journey home in the evening), I probably see several hundred girls. I work near London’s Oxford Street, which, as any daygamer worth his salt who’s been to the UK’s capital knows, is the predominant locale for pussy panhandlers here.
Of those, let’s say five hundred girls who register with me on some level, how many of them do I find bangable? Probably a great many. How many do I find hot? A much, much lesser number—perhaps five or six at most—and how many really move me on a base, DNA level?
Usually, one.
That’s right.
One.
Broadly speaking, I like pretty, skinny girls with long dark hair, but within that designation is room for a great many different flavours. As such, I like Italian girls, Polish girls, Spanish girls, Lithuanian girls, African girls, Colombian girls, and a whole host of others in between.
But I also like girls with very distinct facial features—high cheekbones, large eyes, a look that combines hauteur with a touch of naiveté.
I like long legs, cute butts, and small breasts, but sometimes I like big breasts too. I also like the way that certain girls carry themselves—and this is where it all gets rather opaque and hard to quantify. I sometimes like girls who stride along confidently, but I also like girls with a certain extroverted diffidence.
Basically, what I’m attempting to express is in effect inexpressible because try as you might to explain it rationally to another man, the actual reasons for your strong attraction to this girl over that girl are mysterious and probably not even fully apparent to you.
Nevertheless, I hope you understand what I’m getting at here. While I pass many girls every day who are undeniably attractive (or “fit” as we say in the UK), there are actually comparatively few who really get to me. Normally, it’s just one a day. It is that girl that I must absolutely 100% approach.
For a number of reasons, I don’t always approach my hottie of the day. Why not? Perhaps I am too busy. Perhaps we are headed in different directions, and I don’t have time to deviate from my planned route. Perhaps I am with someone else (for example, a work colleague). Perhaps I only catch a glimpse of her before it is too late. Perhaps I bottle out.
Whatever the reason, whenever I fail to approach one of these girls, I will almost always experience a strong sense of regret afterwards.
Men’s regret over missed sexual opportunities has been written about a lot over the years. It is something that we experience and women don’t by and large. After all, sperm is cheap, men are expendable, and women are genetically more valuable than we are, so why would a girl get too upset about missing out with some random dude?
But there are girls I wish I’d approached from years ago that I still remember to this day. Not because I imagine they were special snowflakes or somehow “better” than any other girl, just that I was drawn to them by a deep, biological urge to bang.
When I do approach her, though, the results are often surprising. It’s worth noting that the approaches in which we are most invested (because of our strong attraction to the girl) tend to be the most nerve wracking, even for the experienced player, simply because it feels that there is more to lose. Consistent daily approaching will reduce this anxiety, without a doubt, but still, let’s acknowledge it as a “thing,” since it is.
If you can overcome your fear and approach this particular chick you think is especially hot, you will be amazed by how many times the response you get will be more positive than that from an average girl whom you’ve only walked up to for the practice.
Without getting superstitious about it, I believe we are particularly attracted to certain girls for a reason. Our psychological antennae is powerful, and we tend to be drawn most towards those with whom we have the greatest synergy. As such, some of the sparkiest, most sexual daygame approaches I’ve ever had have been with the girls I would consider the hottest.
I also believe that my strong sexual desire for this particular girl somehow insinuates itself into the interaction. She can feel it, she gets turned on by it, and the whole thing is exciting for both of us. When I’m doing a “by numbers” approach, the girl can sense it, and it isn’t very much fun for either of us. It’s great to be cool when hitting on chicks, but you’d be surprised how far a little genuine desire, vulnerability, and even nerves can go in grounding your approach in real emotion.
What you have to do, then, is simply feel the fear and do it anyway. Don’t bother yourself with 5s and 6s “for the practice.” Instead, go up to your 8.5s and 9s. For one thing, you don’t really have anything to lose (a rejection is just a rejection whether it comes from the Queen or a chambermaid), and I guarantee that you will frequently be pleasantly surprised by the responses you receive. For another thing, the incremental benefits I’ve observed from hitting on the girls you want the most are well worth any temporary nervousness.