While many men spend a lot of time agonizing over which line to open a girl with, the truth is that opening is only part of the battle. The real meat of daygame is in maintaining a conversation and then getting her number.
We all know what a conversation is—it’s when two human beings exchange views and information with each other verbally. The problem we encounter in daygame is how does one maintain a conversation with a perfect stranger when there is no real reason to talk to them at all?
In normal circumstances, such as when we are talking to friends, coming up with what to say next isn’t really an issue. If we are already friendly or intimate with someone, most of the time the conversation just seems to “flow” without much difficulty. When you meet a girl on the street or in a coffee shop or a bookstore, your aim should be to simulate this sort of flow as closely as you can to generate a sense of connection (and indeed, to create a genuine connection in doing so).
Unfortunately, this means that you are going to have to put in a lot of the initial groundwork.
It’s no good to just ask a girl you’ve just met a load of interview-style questions. Such a strategy just won’t cut it. Not only is it boring, and what pretty much every guy would do if he had the courage to approach in the first place, but it also risks being unduly personal up front, something that can “scare the cat” when you’re talking to a new girl.
Instead, you must chat while throwing out “bait” for the girl to get hooked on.
How? The secret is simply to keep talking for as long as possible (until you’ve got her number or she’s outright rejected you) while throwing in tantalizing tidbits of information about yourself that she will be intrigued by and have no choice but to question you on.
The point of all game is to reveal your personal value to women in a way that is not obvious, and crucially, to get her to ask you a personal question.
Perhaps you happen to be writing a spy thriller in your spare time. Your job is to let her know this. After all, she won’t meet a man who’s writing a spy thriller every day, and therefore you are interesting and most likely attractive to her as a result.
But you shouldn’t make the mistake of simply walking up to her and saying “Hi. I’m very cool as I’m writing a spy thriller” any more than you should say that you own a Ferrari or manage a hedge fund or something similar. Instead, you should communicate your value covertly. Like this:
“So you use a Dell? You know I used to have an HP when I was travelling through Europe. It was a little heavy, but it worked really well. Not only was it fast, but it also has loads of memory, which was useful for the project that I was working on at the time.”
There are two bits of bait in this short example. The first is the mention of Europe. The second is the project. Most people are interested in travel to some degree. Because you have mentioned Europe but you haven’t been overly specific (e.g., you didn’t say “when I travelled to Paris via Madrid and then spent three weeks in Berlin before flying back home”) you have opened up the opportunity for her to ask you a question, and because you have thrown in a mention of your “project” (rather than your “spy novel set in the Cold War involving a tough but tender, hard-drinking member of MI5 and a Russian plot to assassinate a member of the British government”), the field is open for her to ask questions about that too.
Conversation is perhaps the most difficult part of the daygame kit for men to pick up, as the notion of talking aimlessly to a stranger about random subjects seems counter to our naturally logical tendencies. It is a skill, however, that we all need to master if we are to achieve greater success with women.
The most important thing, though, when you’re in front of a girl is just to keep talking no matter what happens. Don’t overly worry if what you’re saying seems silly. Your aim is to get her to ask you a personal question. It is at this point, when she has made an equitable investment in the conversation, that you can proceed to the next part of the interaction, the close. Keep talking long enough, throw in enough bait, and sooner or later she is likely to make the kind of investment that will give you the green light to proceed.
Once the girl has made an investment in the conversation by asking you for some personal details, such as your name, age, or what you do (and remember that these are far more potent indicators of interest in the daytime than at night), you are ready to go for the close.
This really means one of three things: Either you ask for her phone number to arrange a date for another time, take her phone number and then get her to come out later that day, or take her on an instant date. If you’re a newbie and are wondering what to do, the best option is to simply take her number. Prolonging the interaction could be to your detriment unless you’re confident that your social skills are on point and that you’ll be able to strengthen your connection rather than sabotage it.