We’ve all been there. It happens to the best of us from time to time. Perhaps you’re out of practice for one reason or another. Maybe you’ve been in a long-term relationship or working on a business or school project. Perhaps you’ve just allowed yourself to get lazy. Whatever it is, if a man is not consistently practising his game skills, they will start to atrophy and in the worst cases recede to a troubling degree.
When this happens, things that used to be easy, such as walking up and opening a girl in a nightclub or on the street, suddenly become intimidating, and when you do force yourself to do them you come over as stilted and dry and bomb horribly.
If you find this happening to you, don’t panic. It’s not forever, and simply by taking action you will find that you can turn things around, even exceeding your former glories in the process. Here are my seven steps for getting over a dry spell quickly and easily.
1. Accept That Your Game Is Subpar And Will Remain So For The Foreseeable Future
There’s no point in beating around the bush. Right now your game is rubbish. You know it, and the girls that you approach know it, too, hence the somewhat “robust” feedback in the shape of insults and drinks thrown that you are receiving right now out in the field.
Don’t try to pretend to yourself that things are any other way, and certainly don’t try to pretend that the women you speak to are wrong and are somehow “not getting you.” The fault lies with you, and it is down to you to fix up.
Instead of trying to deceive yourself, calmly accept things as they are and resolve to improve the situation.
2. Have Faith You Can Turn Things Around
The second step is to believe in the higher forces of game—that if you put the work in, the universe will give back to you, and things will improve. If it’s any consolation, I can tell you that some of the driest spells I’ve ever experienced have been followed by seasons of sexual abundance that I would have never dreamed about before.
I have suffered some of the most humiliating blowouts of my life, only to enjoy, after a month or so of consistent approaching and rejection, the attentions of far hotter girls than ever before.
Men often make the mistake of thinking that a dry spell is the beginning of the end or that “this is it” for the rest of their lives. Not a bit of it. Everything is temporary. This too shall pass. Life is not constant and unchanging. There are ups and downs. This is true of any aspect of existence you care to name. Simply read the steps outlined here, take the necessary action, and trust that things can and will improve.
3. Approach 100 Girls
No way around this one I’m afraid, gentlemen. To get out of your funk, you’re going to have to put in the time and footwork and approach like a machine—not just because “it’s a numbers game” and you might get lucky, although it’s true that you might—but rather you need to go through this process to get yourself on point.
You need to approach with intent. Whether you go in direct or indirect is up to you, but you need to make it obvious through tone, body language, and eye contact that you find them hot and you want to fuck them. Why? Not only because that is the essence of game but also because in doing so you will be putting yourself on the line in a way that 95 percent of men don’t.
Also, when you’re standing in front of a hot girl without a parachute, so to speak, you’re going to have to force yourself to come up with something to say. At first, you’ll crash and burn, no doubt, but as you work through the 100, you’ll start to get bolder, more inventive, and infused with a sexy spark that will brighten eyes and create excitement in the girls you speak to.
4. Go Easy On Yourself
Don’t give yourself a hard time while you’re going through this process. You’re doing something very difficult. You’re going to make mistakes. That’s fine. It’s life. Pat yourself on the back simply for trying something most other men wouldn’t have the courage to do rather than measuring yourself on how many phone numbers, dates, or lays you get. All that will come later.
5. Keep A Spreadsheet
If it’s good enough for Paul Janka, it’s good enough for you. While you’re working through the 100 approaches, keep a spreadsheet. Not only will this ensure that you stay on track, but it will also help you see where your successes are coming from and focus your attentions accordingly.
Precisely what you record is up to you, but in the past I’ve noted down such things as where I’ve met the girl, her age, nationality, and the details of the interaction, good or bad.
The other great thing about having a record like this is it limits approach anxiety. In the end, each approach is just another line on the sheet, nothing more and nothing less. Keeping a record will certainly help you to reduce negative feelings around each individual girl.
6. Record Yourself
Another thing you can try is recording yourself when you go out to talk to girls. Thanks to smartphones, you don’t need any special equipment. Just download a voice record app, stick your phone in your top pocket, and you’re ready to go.
Listening back to the conversations will be embarrassing at first, but it will enable you to identify what you’re doing wrong and where you’re coming off badly, for example, if you’re speaking too quickly or using needy intonation.
7. Try Anything And Have Fun
Right now you’re at ground zero, and things can’t get any worse. Rather than wallowing, now is an ideal time to try any style of game you fancy. Maybe you’ve always wanted to go ultra-direct. If so, walk up to 100 girls and tell them you’d like to go to bed with them. Maybe you want to experiment with some crazy routine or other. Do it. Since you’re going to fail anyway until you’re well into the 100, you may as well enjoy it.
After following these steps, I guarantee that your game will improve, and you will start to become a lot more on point in social interactions. It can happen quickly too. All you really need is a couple of weeks to get back on track.