There comes a time in the life of even the most hardened player when he meets a girl that he likes and wants to spend time with exclusively. Many men go into game in the first place with the sole purpose of forming a relationship, realising that a life of spinning plates is neither advisable nor particularly enjoyable over time. Others enjoy playing the field, but then such considerations as their career or business become pressing, and time spent chasing girls seems a waste.
Others still, for better or worse, meet a girl they feel meets their requirements in a partner, one of those rare “good girls” that they don’t want to lose. Finally, some get tired of the carousel and decide they want to step off for a while with a girl who is especially hot, or who gives great blow jobs.
Whatever your motive, if you want to make a particular girl your girlfriend, you must consider the matter carefully and ensure that you go about it in the right way.
As with many parts of game, the best method for getting into a relationship with a girl you like is counterintuitive. Some men, following poor advice from magazines, mainstream websites, or worse—their female friends—imagine that getting a girlfriend involves having “the conversation,” i.e., sitting down and “telling her your feelings” about how much you like her and your plans for a happy future together.
Nothing could be less effective.
Here’s the truth. If you want to be with her in an exclusive way, she has to be the one to initiate things, not you.
Women have many options these days, what with Tinder and social networking and so much more, and they’re not afraid to take advantage of them. For you to stand out from the crowd and become the kind of man she she’d like to hang onto, you need to demonstrate two attributes: that you are a scarce resource and that you are a great provider of sex.
Why? If you are too readily available, your value will drop, and she’ll be on Tinder chasing the next aloof and mysterious fellow in no time. As for sex, it really is the glue that binds modern relationships together at least in the beginning. Remember that girls want to enjoy physical pleasure as much as we do. If you’re not giving her a great experience every time, she will be inclined to seek out someone else who will.
How do you remain a scarce resource? It’s really just as simple as not being too available, either in person or online. Don’t message her every day, and when you do, ensure that the length of each text does not exceed hers. Don’t be accessible every night of the week, and never drop preexisting plans to see her just because she’s free.
At all times, you should strive to maintain an air of mystery and detachment. Be a man in demand who always has something else to do. When you operate in this way, it’s amazing how long women will stick around and how obsessed with you they will become.
This isn’t a good sex guide, so I don’t intend to get into a detailed explanation of how you should do it here, but bear in mind that each time you have sex with her you should imagine it’s the last time, and you must put in a suitably vigorous performance. Don’t hold back on dirty talk and pornlike moves. Ideally, you want her to feel that she’s getting something out of the ordinary from you that she won’t get from other men.
Remember: sex comes before feelings in modern relationships. Don’t make the mistake of thinking tender emotional appeals will sway her. Today’s women (and men) desire increasingly visceral and intense experiences to remain interested. Ensure that these are what you are delivering.
Now that you know the two most important aspects of landing a girlfriend you may be wondering how best to put them into practice. The slightly perverse truth of the matter is that you are most likely to wind up with a regular girl when you are busy sleeping around.
It may sound crazy, but it’s true.
When you are having sex with a variety of women, you will maintain a natural “distance” that is very hard to fake. Also, with sex as with everything else, practice makes perfect. Sleeping with a variety of women will help you pick up different techniques and hone your erotic skills.
It is only when you communicate scarcity and you are great in bed that girls will try to “pin you down” and make you their boyfriend, and a relationship will really only work if she has “shown hand” and pursued you rather than the other way around. Don’t make the mistake of being the beta chump who expresses his feelings too early. You will only be punished for it down the line.
Consider carefully, too, whether or not you actually want to be in a relationship. If you do, is she the right person? Relationships can be a massive pain and significantly affect your freedom and autonomy, so don’t get into one lightly. In fact, if you are below the age of thirty, you are probably better off avoiding them altogether at least until you are experienced enough to truly know what you want.
Whatever you do, bear in mind that—perhaps sadly—in a world where romance has been all but excised by societal shifts and technology, it is the dark triad player rather than the poetic sap who is most likely able to leverage a pleasurable medium into long-term relationship.