Game, which has been defined as the art of “applied charisma,” is by its nature a social act. You can read as many blog posts and books as you like, comment on forums, and complain with other guys about the sexual marketplace, but real game is played by talking to girls in the streets and clubs and bars of the city where you live.
Quite naturally many men are keen to go out with other men as they pursue girls. These men are called wings. While using a wing has undeniable benefits in certain situations, if he isn’t carefully selected, the arrangement can be counterproductive, and you might even end up losing you girls.
For the newbie and even for the more experienced man, the idea of going out alone to talk to women can be terrifying. It can also be logistically difficult. In general, at least at night, women don’t go out alone but in pairs or small groups. It takes a courageous man indeed to intercept these groups, and even if he does the difficulties of extracting his preferred girl are considerable. In the daytime, too, girls are often to be found out shopping with their friends, making a solo approach daunting.
There is also the matter of state, or vibe, or mojo or whatever you want to call that heightened social competence that makes killing it in the field seem so much easier. If you go out with another guy, chatting with him as you hunt will certainly help get you into that voluble, relaxed mood that is conducive to meeting girls.
To be honest, though, the real reason that most men use wings is because of fear. They are simply too afraid to go out alone, particularly at night, let alone walk up to an attractive women and indicate their sexual interest in her.
A wing takes the edge off this predicament. It makes going out itself feel less of an ordeal and more as a straightforward social occasion, with a few laughs and jokes thrown in along the way.
If your wing is proficient in game and even remotely honourable, the benefits of working with him are obvious. He will be there to vibe with you, and he can step in to help carry sets, perhaps taking your target’s less attractive friend off your hands for a while or escalating with his own girl while you are working yours.
He should also help boost your confidence, picking you up after a rejection. Perhaps most important of all he can help point out those IOIs (indicators of interest) that you might otherwise have missed while walking around the bar, coffee shop, or mall. I’ve often benefited when another guy has let me know that a girl I hadn’t even noticed was checking me out. Without his help, I might easily have left money on the table.
Sadly, though, life is not a movie, and things rarely run as smoothly as you might hope. If your chosen wing is a good friend of yours from way back, the roles in the relationship will be to some extent “set.” If you are the quiet one, it’s going to be very difficult for you to break out of that role and become an approach machine.
On the other hand, however, if you are the confident one and roll into the bar talking to every girl in sight to the exclusion of your friend, there is a chance he will become resentful and either sabotage sets or disengage from the process entirely.
For these reasons, it is sometimes better to find new friends to go out with—wings with whom you have had no prior relationship that you meet up with solely to pull girls. Even then disparities in ability, looks, and energy levels can contribute to a fraying of these often delicate alliances.
The idea of going out alone to talk to women can be pretty scary, but the inherently problematic nature of wingmanship can sometimes mean that there is no other option. Also consider that “game” is always played solo really. Even when you go out with supportive friends, you will still have to talk to the woman of your choice on your own. You will have to attract her on your own, you will have to escalate on your own, and you will have to lead her to some suitably intimate location on your own.
A wingman might smooth the path, but he can’t cover up for your mistakes or make you more interesting or charismatic. Those things must come from you alone.
Whether to roll with wings or go solo is a much-discussed topic on men’s websites, and without doubt there is value in both provided that with the former your wings are of high quality. I have gone out with wings and without, and I have been successful in both cases, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that gaming solo is better.
For a start, I believe it is more efficient. Some of my best lays with some of the cutest girls I’ve ever attracted have been achieved solo. You cut out all the nonsense of having to deal with another man and just go straight for what you want.
In the case of daygame, it actually makes more sense to be alone. If you are going to clubs and bars, you have more flexibility. If one venue is rubbish, you can then leave and go to another. If anyone asks why you are alone, simply say your friends are elsewhere or be up front up and tell them you are there by yourself. It really doesn’t matter. People are generally too self-interested to care much.
Going out alone and picking up a woman is also perhaps one of the most exhilarating things you can do. It will really awaken the hunter-gatherer spirit that lies inert within you.
While I don’t totally discount the value of working with a good wing, particularly when you are new and improving your skills, you should always remember that the best wing you can have and the one who has your interests most firmly at heart is you.
If you haven’t tried solo game, I’d encourage you to give it a go. It really is a lot more fun than you might imagine, and I suspect you will be surprised by the quality of your results.